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10 BEST WAYS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

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Overcome Negative Self-Talk

When you woke up this morning, stumbled over to the mirror, and had a good long gander, what was the first thing you said to yourself? Did you give yourself a solid pep talk, remind yourself how awesome you are and think about all the ways you were going to crush it today? Probably not. You let that trash-talking peanut gallery in your head make you feel like you’re inadequate. Enough! If you’re going to take on the world and conquer it, you’ve got to overcome negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is a symptom of something greater than just a lack of self-confidence. It can stem from years of not feeling support, an unending string of what we perceive to be failure, and an inability to see our potential. The roots of pervasive negativity can go all the way back to our childhood and manifest because we have unfinished business there, or it can be because we never developed a sense of resilience. Overcoming negative self-talk isn’t merely an exercise in changing our mindset (although, that is a vital component for transformation), but a process which we have to be open to, so we can realize that on the other side of “I can’t” is an infinite world of “I absolutely can!”

You know that ol’ adage, “If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to respect us?” The same goes for negative self-talk. We can’t lean on others to believe in us if we’re sitting in the back row doing an audit on our life instead of realizing that we are exceptional. So let’s dive in and learn some strategies to change our inner conversations and overcome negative self-talk for good.

BEST WAYS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Best Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

1. Call Your Critic By Name

Don’t roll your eyes, hear me out. You have been throwing shade at yourself for so long, you probably don’t even recognize when you’re being negative. That inner critic has latched onto you like a parasite and it’s time to set it free. Give that critic a name, something funny. And every time you hear or catch yourself thinking something negative or critical, talk to your inner critic as if it were a person. Let it know it’s gunning for a break-up, and it’s just a matter of time. If you feel comfortable enough, share the name of your inner critic with your friends and family so when they recognize you being negative, they can keep you accountable.

2. Talk it Out to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Keeping with the theme of reaching out to friends and family, overcoming negative self-talk is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight. And chances are, the ones closest to you (including your boss) have suffered alongside you. They are just as invested in your becoming a happier, more positive person as you are. So when you feel yourself slipping into the doldrums, shoot a text to a trusted confidant and run those thoughts by them. If you’re mid-rant, telling yourself how useless you are, wouldn’t it be liberating to have someone chime in to tell you how smart, hardworking and kind you are? Of course. It’s going to take a few battles to win the war, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of trusty troops.

3. If You Can’t Get Positive, Go Neutral

There is no pill for overcoming negative self-talk (though some may disagree). It takes work. Placing pressure on yourself to be all rainbows and sunshine right out of the gate only sets you up for failure, putting you in a headspace where negativity begets negativity. Take baby steps. Start with very simple language changes. Swap out sentences like, “I can’t do this” or “this will never,” with phrases like, “I just need more time” and “maybe this can.” This may seem trivial and ridiculous, but we’re talking about the power of language. Think about how destructive your language has been to you and your life. If you’re not ready to fully commit to complete transformation, let’s at least crack the door open, and explore some possibilities.

4. Stay in the Moment

Whew! This is a tough one, especially when one of your favourite things to do (subconsciously) is to focus on the absolute worst case scenario of everything in life. But unless you’ve discovered time travel, you have absolutely no idea what is going to happen. Stop focusing on the “what if” and get your head in the game by being comfortable with the “right now.”

Stop Negative Self-Talk with Mindfulness

5. Get Off the Guilt Trip

Avid negative self-talkers love to pack their bags and head out on the most epic guilt trips. Guilt tripping lets you take inventory of every single minute thing that you didn’t get done, and then you get to revel in your failure to complete things. What about focusing on all the things you accomplished instead? If you want to overcome negative self-talk, take 15 minutes out of your day every day and write down everything you accomplished. No detail is too small. From brushing your teeth, to closing a sale, to doing a load of laundry. You’re getting stuff done; you’re just too focused on what you feel like you should be doing.

6. Stop Pretending to Read Minds

Unless you’ve been side-gigging as a psychic, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on in someone else’s head. Read that again. If they haven’t told you, you have no idea what someone else is thinking. So why are you creating negative dialogues about what they might be thinking about you? You need to stop attaching meaning to everything someone says to you, and stop fabricating stories that say bad things about you.

7. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Sure, opposites attract, but rarely do individuals who regularly engage in negative self-talk attract happy, positive people, and there’s good reason for that; happy people like to surround themselves with other happy people. If you exist in a circle of negativity outside of yourself, what hope do you have of making a transformation? Make some social adjustments. If you’ve got family members who are enabling you or engage in negative self-talk, take a step back. Tell them you love them, but you need to make some changes for your mental well being.

Overcome Negative Self-Talk via Association

8. Shift Your Perspective to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Pffft! Easier said than done, right? Sure, but totally worth a try. Take an inventory of your fears, your concerns, your challenges. Write them out, and read them back to yourself. Now write down why you think you’re incapable of overcoming these things. Are they really so difficult? Are you asking yourself to climb Everest with no equipment next weekend? Are you being asked to solve world hunger by 2023? How dire are these issues you’re facing? You can absolutely push through whatever is holding you back from unleashing your potential. 

9. Simplify Your Social Media Influences

Don’t panic, I’m not telling you to get off social media…completely. What I am asking you to do is to take a deep dive on who and what you are letting influence your inner dialogue on the social media landscape. Are you following positive people and brands? Do you spend hours and hours disappearing down social media rabbit holes, only to come up for air feeling even less adequate than when you swiped into the app? Clear the decks! If you’re not following accounts that make you feel like a rock star, or share positive narratives, you do not need them in your life right now.

10. Become Someone Else’s Hype Person

Helping others makes us feel good. It gets those endorphins pumping. But it also has a sneaky way of making us feel better about ourselves, and we tend to hold our chins a little higher. Consider taking on a mentorship role to someone in your life. It could be a friend starting a business or a colleague who needs some support in getting that next promotion. Engaging in supportive dialogue with someone we care about can retrain our brains into quieting our own inner critics.

Stop Negative Self-Talk by Helping Others

Final Thoughts on Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is akin to cancer. It can permeate every aspect of our life, impacting our career aspirations, family and friend dynamics, and relationships. The great news is, it’s not a permanent state of being, it’s a choice. Like everything in life, anything worth having requires time, effort and dedication, but once you cross that threshold into living a more positive existence, everything gets easier from there on out. So, if you’re ready to overcome negative self-talk for good, put these tips to good use.

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed this article on how to overcome negative self-talk, then you’ll enjoy this read on how changing your mindset can can change your life.

Kristie Santana is the founder and CEO of the National Coach Academy and a proud contributor of Life Coach Path; a collective of coaches looking to help educate students on the virtues and benefits of a career in the coaching field. Kristie is also a life coach herself, a coaching advocate and educator, and devoted mother of two. She lives in New York City.

Confidence

14 BEST CONFIDENCE HACKS TO HELP YOU FEEL CONFIDENT FAST

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confidence hacks

Too many people these days give away their power to achieve and progress in life because of a simple lack of confidence in themselves. They second guess themselves, feel unworthy, and never take action to get what they want in life. And in so doing, they end up leading an average life, a life likely to be plagued by mediocrity. But, this doesn’t have to be the case. Not for you, or any one, not any more. Especially if you put these life hacks for building confidence to use right away.

Without a doubt, confidence is a critical personal power. With it, almost all things are possible. Without it, well, life will inevitably be a struggle.

Chances are, you’ve lived a good chunk of your life feeling less confident than you you’d like. Chances are you’ve already missed out on some major opportunities in your life, opportunities to make more money, have a better job, or dating that ideal partner you’ve envisioned yourself having all because you didn’t have the confidence to do what you knew you should have. Unfortunately, you can’t change the past, but there is still hope, because the clock is still ticking.

So, be sure to take advantage of this list of confidence hacks. They can help you build the confidence you’ll need to change the trajectory of your life. But don’t wait too long to employ them, because your opportunities in life are limited by time, and time waits for no one.

BEST CONFIDENCE HACKS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE FAST

Best Confidence Hacks

1. Reprogram Yourself

I know, the initial thought of reprogramming yourself sounds a bit “out there”. But you know what, that’s what you have to do. There are two messages you can believe in this world. The messages that the outside world would have you believe, or the messages that you would have yourself believe.

You see, confidence, in essence is a deep and unshakable belief in yourself.   And when you finally convince yourself that you can accomplish a thing, or deserve a thing, you exponentially increase your odds of obtaining that which you desire. And the best way to do this, is to program you internal script with affirmations.

In short, you have to force yourself to, well….believe in yourself and believe you are deserving of what you want for you life. Affirmations, used daily with sincerity and conviction will make a significant difference almost immediately, in how confident you are.

Related: Affirmations For Confidence

2. Set a Goal and Go For It

Building confidence comes naturally when you set goals for yourself. The conviction to achieve something can move someone to new heights in every aspect of their life. And when you get a goal, you give yourself a reason to make changes in yourself and in your life so you can achieve that goal.

And without a doubt, most goals will force you to become more. To reach the goal, you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone and take action. And action, experience, and activity is a prime breeding ground for the development of your confidence.

So, set a goal, go for it, and observe how quickly your confidence levels begin to sky-rocket.

3. Get Fit

Believe it or not, physical fitness helps create mental fitness. When you put forth the discipline to improve how you look, you’ll create a virtuous cycle of discipline and confidence that will help you gradually improve both as time goes on.

 When you start to feel better on a physiological level, you’ll start to feel better on a psychological level. Truly, being fit can help you reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, give you increased energy, and improve your sense of well-being. On top of this, when you truly feel good about how you look, you’ll exude more confidence in many other areas of your life.

4. Take Time For Yourself

Every time you take time to get away from it all, and to just be alone with your thoughts, you help yourself get a clearer picture on “the happenings” of your life. 

By gaining a bit of solitude for yourself, you drown out all the daily external noise that distracts you from who you are and what you want.  So, when you take a moment to be alone to listen to your own thoughts, without external interruptions, you can dramatically improve you your self-awareness.  And almost always, the person who has a better sense of self, will have stronger levels of presence, and with a that a stronger sense of confidence and self-esteem.

5. Practice Gratitude

When we practice expressing gratitude, we boost how we feel about ourselves.  And when we become aware of the abundance we actually have in our lives, we give ourselves a confidence boost.  Don’t just take my word for it though, check out this study conducted by the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology [1]. Without a doubt, there is a link between practiced gratitude and high self-esteem.

So, get to it. Start practicing an attitude of gratitude today, and watch your confidence levels and appreciation levels rise together.

6. Stand Up Straight

Amy Cuddy, the famous TED speaker and professor once posited that there are scientific benefits of power posing to increase self-confidence.  She does a good job explaining why in this video and her book.

But honestly, you don’t need to read her book to realize the truth for yourself. Next time you are out in public pay attention to how you are walking. Chances are you walk and sit with slight slouch. Notice how you feel when you are around people and when you maintain your slouched posture. But then do this; make it a priority to stand up or sit up straight when you are in the presence of people some time later, and notice how much different you feel when you do so.

If you do this, you will quickly realize how powerful your posture is in influencing your confidence levels. So forget that book, and just start standing up straight like a person who oozes out confidence, and you eventually will.

7. Take Cold Showers

This hack may sound a bit uncommon, but make no mistake about it, it is effective for building confidence. Here’s why. When you take a cold shower you initiate an anti-depressive effect within your body that stems from activating our sympathetic nervous system. When you do this, it increases the beta-endorphin and norepinephrine in your blood levels. 

Which means that cold showers ultimately flood the mood-regulating areas of your brain with neurotransmitters and mood-boosting endorphins that improves how happy you feel. 

And well, a happier you is a more confident you. So, give cold showers a try.

8. Quiet Your Mind

One of the best ways to quiet your mind is mediation. What’s meditation? Well, it is the practice of quieting your mind and disciplining your attention. And if you do it correctly, it can silence the hyperactive thoughts that keep you anxious and less confident.

Now, meditation isn’t the only way to do this. You can also take long walks in nature, on the beach, around the block, it doesn’t really matter where. So long as you just give yourself a few minutes to focus on nothing but your thoughts.

So, give yourself a moment or two to settle your mind. Meditate or go for a walk, and you’ll be surprised with how much better it will help you feel about your day and yourself.

9. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

When we try something new, we force ourselves to get out of our comfort zones. And when we are out of our comfort zones, we allow ourselves the opportunity to experience the world in a new way. And believe it or not, a slight adjustment to our perspectives can make a big difference in our confidence levels.

When we force ourselves out of our normal routines, we open up the opportunity for new and exciting experiences that can supercharge our energy and level up our confidence.

So get out there and do something new. Force yourself to get our of your comfort zone, and your confidence in yourself and in your new novel world will compound dramatically.

10. Embrace Spontaneity

Many of us operate our daily lives by following a routine.  We do most of our daily activities in an almost mechanized way because it feels safe, familiar, and we feel it makes life a bit easier for us. Which it does.

However, if you are seeking to gain more confidence, you’ll need to be okay with things getting a little hard at first. You have to be okay mixing things up.

When we force ourselves to be spontaneous, we stretch ourselves.  We allow ourselves to be open to potential discomfort, and the uncertainty of the unknown.  Being spontaneous exposes us to scenarios that we don’t have an easy script to rely on that can get us through the event in ease.  As such, embracing spontaneity forces you to adapt. 

The great news, is that after you flex you spontaneous muscles a few times, you will eventually trust that you can handle the uncertainty of any scenario, regardless of how well you prepared for it.

Spontaneity… embrace it fully, and you’re confidence will soar.

11.  Practice, Practice, Practice

Often times we lack confidence because we feel we aren’t prepared enough to do a thing well.  The good news, conquering such feelings of anxiety is simple so long as you put in the time to practice what you fear you won’t be good at.

In other words, if you do your best to learn everything about a subject, job, event, or whatever it is that you feel less than confident to accomplish, you will set yourself up to be more confident in its execution when you practice it.

When you over-prepare, there is no way you can’t be unprepared.  And with those feelings of having all your i’s dotted and t’s crossed, your self-confidence will skyrocket.

12. Give Your Best, Always

Building confidence is easy when you always give your best. When you give something all you’ve got, when you’ve done your very best at the task at hand, you leave no room for a lack of confidence.

In fact, when you constantly give full effort in the things you do, you will actually build confidence. Here’s why. Firstly, you’ll end up doing great work, and great work gets noticed and people will let you know. And their affirmations will build your confidence.

In addition to this, when you’ve put everything out there, when you’ve giving something all you’ve got, you can’t, nor should you ever feel bad about the result. In fact, it’s hard to feel upset with yourself when you’ve done your best. So, if you fail at a thing, but you gave it your up most, you can oddly, give yourself a confidence boost. You’ll be self-assured that whatever it was you attempted wasn’t meant to be. And this will give you the confidence to either try it again from a different angle, or try something completely different.

Full effort is full victory! Live this philosophy, and you’ll create the strong foundations that your confidence will come to rest on.

13. Walk Faster

This confidence hack may seem strange to some, but it’s a powerful tactic that works. Success scholar David Schwartz P.h.D, and author of The Magic of Thinking Big speaks highly of using this tactic.

In his book, he suggests that by walking with purpose, which leads to walking a little faster, typically leads to a person feel stronger and better about themselves. So, if you have any doubts about this confidence hack, then give it shot, as you have nothing to lose, and lots of confidence to gain.

14. Study Confidence

Too many people falsely believe that confidence is something you are born with. But, this isn’t the case. People, over time learn how to become confidence due to a mixture of accidental and intentional learning experiences.

The accidental learning experiences come from wins a person may have had in their lives overtime that taught them they were capable, and able to do a thing well. As such, they gained confidence in their abilities from their person experiences (PE) which often times cascades wonderfully into all other areas of their lives.

Then there is intentional learning experiences. Many people have understood that they had shortcomings in a particular area, but decided to learn how to overcome such shortcomings through study. They learned not through their own experiences, but rather, through other people’s experiences (OPE). And the best known way to learn form other people’s experience, is through study. Like reading books on confidence, or watching videos, or learning from a helpful confidence article like the one you are reading now.

So, if you want start building confidence, there’s no better way than through self-study. So, get to it, start here.

Final Thoughts on Building Confidence

You can have it all. You can take your life back and start living an above average life today. But, you’ll have to put forth the effort to hone your confidence first.

A wise man once said… “If you will change, everything will change for you.” I believed it then…and I believe it even more today, and so should you.

So, start building your confidence today, and everything will change for you.

Till next time,

STRIVE


PS  –  If you’re serious about building confidence fast, so you can start living like a lion, and not a lamb, this is the one book you must read!

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Confidence

10 SIMPLE TRICKS TO BECOME A MORE CONFIDENT PERSON

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how to become a confident person

We are all born with a blank slate. No one is born with fear or courage. If you have children around you, you must have noticed how fearless they are. They do whatever they want in front of anyone without being mindful. As children grow up, they start fearing to attempt new things or avoid doing things without the approval of the people around them.

This behavior or learned response becomes a strong habit in adulthood. Today, the majority of people are afraid of trying new things due to the fear of failure or lack of approval. These people can’t make decisions on their own until everyone agrees to it. These are the signs of a person with low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem cannot succeed in our competitive world today.

The Main Cause of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is mainly caused by love withheld. This is where parents withhold their love because a child has done something wrong. For instance, a child who doesn’t know what fire is will naturally want to touch or feel it. When a parent shouts, scolds or punishes the child for being too close to the fire, the child starts developing the fear of trying out new things.

Parents do this to their children repeatedly to have control over them because children cannot survive without love. They need to be showered with love constantly. And they’ll do everything they can to get the love back.

Children who are brought up by parents with high self-esteem exude confidence in everything they do even in adulthood. To raise confident children, you’ll have to praise, reward, encourage and correct them in the right away.

Like most of us, if you were brought up by negative or critical parents, what can you do to regain your confidence? Today, we are going to discuss ten proven tricks that will help you become a confident person. Before that, you need to forgive your parents. There’s nothing you could do to change how they brought you up. They did their best and gave you all the love they had.

You can only progress in life after you’ve forgiven all the people that wronged you in the past including yourself. Remember, you are not forgiving them for their sake but your sake. Forgiveness is a 100% personal act. How do you know that you’ve forgiven someone? It’s when you hear their name and you don’t react both inwardly and outwardly.

BEST WAYS TO BECOME A MORE CONFIDENT PERSON

How to Become a More Confident Person

1.     Set Clear Goals

All successful people are confident people. And the majority of them have clear written goals. Goals give you purpose. They motivate you during the good and bad times. They enable you to visualize how you’ll be in the future. Remember you cannot target what you can’t see. The majority of adults today don’t have clear written goals. They coast through life hoping for something miraculous to happen to them.

When you set goals, you start realizing that the universe is on your side ready to bring to you what you desire. When you achieve your first goal, you’ll be motivated to achieve the next one. Apart from that, you’ll boost your self-confidence in the long run.

So, how do you set goals? First, you have to write down all your goals. Goals that are not in writing are like smoke. They can’t help you in any way. Your goals should also have deadlines. Once you’ve set clear goals, do something that moves you toward your goals every day. Be ready to pay the price.

2.     Use Affirmations

Affirmations are strong statements that help you install a set of desired beliefs. You’ll always treat yourself the way you see yourself. If you think of yourself as a happy and important person, you’ll indulge in high-value activities most of the time. On the other hand, if you see yourself as a less important person, you’ll indulge in low priority activities. In short, how you see yourself matters a lot.

Affirmations are positive and inspiring statements that you say to yourself to improve your self-image. Since we usually believe what we say to ourselves in the long run, affirmations will enable you to make quick progress.

The best way to use affirmations is by repeating the statement aloud in front of a mirror. For instance, if you don’t like your physical appearance, you can look for something that you appreciate when you look at yourself in the mirror.

You can also repeat the statement, “I like myself” over and over again throughout the day. Some of the most successful people repeat this statement fifty to one hundred times in a day.

Related: Affirmations For Confidence

3.     Stop Postponing

The more you postpone doing the most important tasks o activities, the more you feed your fears and doubts. Postponing important activities weakens you over time until you start thinking of yourself as a loser. In most cases, we postpone high-value activities to indulge in low-value activities.

For instance, we postpone calling new clients and making the sale to chat with our friends or take coffee breaks. We postpone booking a gym membership to rush home and watch our favorite TV show. The more we try doing the right thing, the harder it becomes.

How do you deal with this issue? You have to start procrastinating positively. Postpone chatting with your friends. Postpone watching that TV show. Postpone going for long coffee and lunch breaks. Get into the habit of doing things on the spot. Call your clients now. Book your gym membership now. Approach the love of your life now. Remember, what gets postponed gets lost.

The more you get into the habit of doing important things now, the easier it will be to achieve your goals. Instead of saying “I should do XYZ”, start saying, “I could do XYZ”. Do you see the difference? In the first statement, you are forcing yourself to do something while in the second statement, you put yourself in a position of power.

4.     Improve Yourself

For your life to change, you have to change. You have to work on yourself daily to become a confident person. To improve your results in any area be it work, health, finances or at home, you have to improve yourself.

Your outer world will always reflect your inner world. Therefore, to change your outer world, you’ll have to change your inner world. And you can only change your inner world by improving yourself regularly. How do you improve yourself?

Successful people read books for at least thirty minutes every day. They attend conferences and seminars regularly. They listen to audiobooks while driving around. And they associate with like-minded people most of the time.

Reading to the mind is like exercise to the body. As the saying goes, the more you learn, the more you earn. When everything around you improves but you fail to improve, you’ll get back to where you started. For instance, you’ve seen people winning loads of cash in lotteries only to lose it all a few years later.

To become a confident, happy and cheerful person, you’ll have to improve who you are by reading books on self-confidence, attending seminars and associating with like-minded people. Success is not an accident and so is failure.

5.     Prepare in Advance

Most of the time, we feel insecure due to lack of preparation. And when you start doubting yourself, you increase your chances of failing. The majority of the most important activities or tasks need adequate preparation. For instance, doing a presentation or going for a job interview. You’ll feel confident when performing the task and people around you will feel what you are exuding.

Remember, preparation is all about setting your mind to the task ahead. Don’t fall into the trap of being a perfectionist. There’ll always be room for improvement no matter how well you prepare or do something. Perfectionism leads to procrastination. And procrastination leads to low self-esteem.

6.     Journal Regularly

Journaling is all about writing down your thoughts and emotions. Confident people have several journals that they review regularly to see how much they’ve progressed. You need to have a journal too. Writing down your thoughts and emotions helps you understand yourself better. You also get an opportunity to discover why you feel the way you do.

According to psychologists, the majority of patients recover from stress, anxiety, and frustration by simply writing down their thoughts and emotions daily. You can become a confident and cheerful person by finding time to record your thoughts and emotions.

By doing this, you’ll eliminate the thought processes that create negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, fear, and doubt to name a few. Also, reviewing you’re your journal regularly will help you see how you’ve progressed and this will motivate you to keep on keeping on.

Related: Benefits of Journaling

7.     Help Other People

Helping other people will enable you to stop focusing on yourself and show gratitude for what you have. When you listen to and help other people, you’ll quickly realize how better off you are. The majority of people have gone through worse conditions than you. Some of them grew up without parents. Others were immigrants who started with nothing.

You’ll also feel happy changing someone else’s life for the better. You should consider volunteering or teaching other people what you know. When you share, your level of self-confidence will automatically grow. Don’t look down on yourself. You are a role model to some people.

8.     Care For Yourself

No one will care about you more than they care about themselves. It’s not selfishness but a rule of nature. You can always tell this by looking at the time you spend thinking about yourself. The majority of people spend 90% of their time thinking about themselves and only 10% thinking about others.

To boost your self-esteem, you have to care for yourself. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, surround yourself with great people and take some time off to relax. Remember, your level of self-confidence depends on how you see yourself. When you treat yourself well, your level of self-confidence will automatically rise.

9.     Learn to Say No

Do not allow yourself to suffer in silence or become a victim. No one can control your life unless you give them this power. To avoid being the victim or being a slave to another person, learn to say no. It’s not easy but it will be worthwhile in the long run.

Remember, the more control you have over your life, the more confident you’ll become. When you start saying no, other people will begin respecting you and your decisions. You’ll pick up on this respect and in turn will feel more self-assured.

10. Be Yourself

You are a unique and wonderful person. Why would you try to be like someone else? Statistics show that people with low self-esteem see others as better off than themselves. The truth is no one is smarter or better than you. They are just doing things differently from you.

Accept yourself the way you are and start doing what other confident people are doing. As the saying goes, success leaves tracks. By shifting your mentality, you’ll boost your self-confidence.

Related: Be Confident In Your Body

Final Thoughts on Becoming a Confident Person

No one is born with confidence. In most cases, we have to work at it gradually by changing our thought processes and habits. Now is the time to face your fears and take back control of your life. Set clear goals with deadlines, continuously improve yourself, help others, set clear boundaries and most importantly, accept yourself the way you are with all your strengths and limitations. By doing this, not only will you boost your level of self-confidence but you’ll also achieve 90% of your goals in life .

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS  –  One of the best ways to become a more confident person and unleash your inner extrovert is to leverage these strategies for methodically build confidence in yourself.

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Confidence

WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE YOURSELF A MOHAWK

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should I get a mohawk

I just finished shaving my head, giving myself another Mohawk.  As a man in his mid 30’s you would think I’d be hesitant to do such a thing.  Hahaha, but, I am not.

Sure, there is always some angst in those initial moments just before I fire up the clippers.  But, once the blades touch down on my scalp and get to work, my determination to follow through always grows.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Should I get a Mohawk?” Then you’ve probably experienced that initial angst too.

It’s an angst that stems from your wondering about what people are going to say.  It’s an angst that stems from you being keenly aware that most people just don’t have a clue about what a Mohawk actually says about you.

But after this post, you’ll have the answer…and you’ll know….

MOHAWKS ROCK!

It’s no secret that we live in a society that encourages conformity.  We all understand that “they” subtly approve all that you do, so long as what you do is done in a way that is cozy, comfortable, and familiar. 

Ahh, yes, what we do must always be familiar, so as to not offend the sensibilities of the majority.  We all know this, its our tacit little agreement with society.

Considering such a social contract, I’ve come to fully embrace the spiritual meaning of the mohawk hairstyle, as well as the idea of boldly wearing a Mohawk much like the punk-rocker.

But don’t get me wrong, I am no punk and I am no rocker.  I am not some guy rebelling against the establishment or the mainstream.  Yet, now more than ever, I can appreciate the sentiment of the mohawked punk-rocker of the past.  Their expressive individualism and their wish to wake us up from our collective walking slumber is something to be admired.

But that’s not what my Mohawk is for.   No, I have a different reason for wearing my Mohawk.  I wear a Mohawk because I am a man at war.  But this war is a different kind of war, so here me out.

WARRIOR ETHOS

A long time ago, there was a group of Native Americans known as the Mohawk people.  These people were a tribe of Native Americans who guarded the Iroquois Confederacy from all threats that attempted to invade their nation from the East.  They were essentially the guardians of the East.

Now, before these brave Mohawk peoples would tangle with any invading forces, they would remove portions of their hair from the sides of their heads.  As a result, a middle strip of hair would be left on the top of their heads, a strip of hair that would come to be known as the Mohawk.

These Mohawk people were traders, farmers, as well as brave guardians.  But when they donned the hairstyle that has come to be known as the Mohawk, they became warriors.

As warriors, they would use this hairstyle to create an effect used to intimidate the enemy, much like the plumes found on a Spartan helmet.

mohawk hairstyle spiritual meaning

The Mohawk plume was a silent, but intimidating battle cry.  It was a symbol and a statement of fearlessness, of steadfastness, and a willingness to confront and clash with any enemy audacious enough to put up a challenge.

The Mohawk is a symbol of the warrior ethos, and wearing it has become a ritual that both inspires courage and signals a warriors commitment to victory.  It’s a symbol to be feared and respected.

And so that’s why I am sporting this Mohawk my friend.

I’ve given myself this nice little strip of fire because I am at war, but it’s not your typical war.  No, this war is a war a with a very real and a very personal enemy.  An enemy that I wish to strike fear into, an enemy I wish to brutally defeat every single day.

THE BATTLEGROUND

As an artist, entrepreneur, and creator of my own future I have a dreaded enemy.   It is not an external enemy or a physical enemy, although I take precautions to ensure I am prepared for those kinds too.  No, the enemy I speak of is an enemy that you are likely familiar with as well.   It’s an enemy that many have experienced and battled with daily, just like I do.

Oddly, this enemy comes in various forms.  The prick is a shapeshifter.

On some days, this enemy shows up as procrastination or a lack of motivation.   On other days, it shows up as a gravitational tug towards comfort, ease, and a wish to just “take it easy” like so many others do.  But most of all, this enemy appears as doubt and discouragement.  That’s right, my biggest enemy, perhaps I should say our biggest enemy, is doubt.

Most people, every day of their lives, doubt themselves.  They live in doubt. They doubt their abilities and their potential.  They doubt whether they should attempt to live the life they’ve always imagined, they doubt whether they should continue to chase their calling, and worst of all, they doubt whether they should even attempt to be who they truly are…. themselves.

Indeed, one of the hardest things for people to do, is to be themselves.

Our biggest internal battles take place when a decision must be made to overcome that small negative voice that says…

“You’ll Never Make It”

“You Can’t”

“You Shouldn’t”

“Don’t Do It”

“Maybe Tomorrow”

“Just Give Up”

When you listen to this voice, when you let it win, you become a victim, not a victor.  Which means, taking the sword or better yet…the tomahawk to the voice that would have you do the opposite of what you truly want for your life, is your biggest priority.

Yes my friend, these are a few of my challenges, my obstacles, my foes.  They are my inner enemies, but every time I give myself another Mohawk, it’s a re-declaration of war.  Sayonara Suckas!!

It’s an effective ritual that can help you guard your mind against those small voices that would have you play small with your life.

YOU ARE A WARRIOR

Now here’s the thing, if you have the ability to create, you have the seeds of an artist within you, and every artist is a warrior.  What this means, is you don’t necessarily need a Mohawk to go after the limitations you’ve set up against yourself.  That’s right, you don’t need a Mohawk to fight your inner enemies.

However, giving yourself a Mohawk is a powerful ritual.  It’s a ritual that can help set the stage for some massive self-improvement and big victories over yourself.

But don’t just take my word for it.

If you’re an artist, and entrepreneur, or anyone who is ready to take responsibility for the creation of their own lives, and look great while doing it, well, you know what to do…

Give yourself a Mohawk, at least once to initiate your own silent battle cry.

Yes, that battle cry that will make it clear to your inner enemies…

“You better be afraid you little mutherfu****s, because today is the day you die.”

Till next time,

STRIVE

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Confidence

HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING IN 2022

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how to stop worrying and start living life

Fear, doubt, and worry can have a major impact on your health and well being. But most importantly, they can have a dramatic and severe impact on the quality of your life.  Fear, doubt, and worry can stop your aspirations for a better future dead in its tracks. On top of this, they can and usually do, dramatically hinder the best of us from reaching the heights of the success we seek.  How you ask? 

Well, fear, doubt, and worry are much like a cancer. They will work through you slowly, gradually, and often times go undetected, working diligently on your confidence until they completely snuff out all your hopes and dreams.  And if a quality life demands anything, it demands confidence and hope in a brighter tomorrow.

So, if reclaiming your confidence, your peace of mind, and your 2022 is something you’d like to do, then this post is exactly what the doctor ordered:

HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND BEGIN LIVING

How to Stop Worrying

1. Get Busy Taking Action.

This quote sums it up;

“Keep Busy. The Worried Person Must Lose Himself In Action, Lest He Wither In Despair.”

Action is the cure for most ailments in life, and it is especially good for worry. The person who keeps himself busy doing activities that are beneficial for himself, his family, or his community, will almost 99% of the time, be too involved with doing to even consider those things cause most everyone else to worry.

So, find something to do, force yourself to act, and before you know it, your worries will eventually dissipate.

2. Silence Your Mind – Meditate

Often times, our worries, fears, and anxieties are compounded by the relentless self-talk and internal chat that we have with ourselves throughout our days. Our own internal dialogue can be one of the biggest causes of our anxiety.

We watch negative news, we read scary headlines, we think about worst-case scenarios, and then we process these observations all day through self-discussion, and the result is worry. As such, one of the best things that you can do today and going forward to dramatically reduce your worry habit, is to take 10 to 20 minutes to just sit silently and meditate.

If you are not sure how to meditate, there are plenty of great resources out on the web. Here is one great meditation resource to get you started.

3. Schedule “Worry Time”

According to this excellent article, choosing to set time and place for worrying can dramatically impact how much worrying you do and how you’ll ultimately feel. Essentially, what you need to do, is create a routine, where you take 20 or so minutes every day to just sit there and think about all your worries. By doing this, you purge your mind of all your anxieties. Then, you must ensure you don’t give these thoughts any more energy after this window.

4. Rewire Your Mind

Often times, we worry out of habit. We constantly think the sky is falling or that the worse is bound to happen. So, we needlessly tie ourselves up in mental knots, when more often than not, our worry was nothing but a mental loop that we failed to get out of.

The great news is, we can rewire our minds to not habitually worry. We can use mantras or affirmations to drown out that voice of worry. Much like meditation, we can use mantras or affirmations to slowly change our thinking patterns.

So, if you’re really serious about kicking your worry habit to the curb, start using mantras and affirmations so you can stop worrying and start living.

BONUS: Read This Book…..

‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ is comprised of many recipes Mr. Carnegie pulled together from night classes he would teach to adult students on how to overcome worry.

‘How to Start Worrying and Start Living’ is a cure for anyone who wishes to eliminate the debilitating effects of fear and worry from their lives, so they fortify their confidence and get on with succeeding in their life.

Note: We’re reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

With that being said, he are a handful of killer questions pulled straight from the book. Use them to help you take your worries down a notch….

Write down the following questions and answer them:

Really, what am I so worried about?

What is the problem?

What is the cause of the problem?

Can I list all possible solutions to this problem?

What solution will best to apply to this problem?

What decision will I make now that will most dramatically impact this worry?

Now that you have all these questions answered, without hesitation immediately take action on what you wrote down.

Final Words

There you have it, a handful of powerful actions you can take today, and resources you can invest in, to help you quickly and effectively get over your worries and anxieties in 2022.

Till next time,

STRIVE

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Confidence

25 AFFIRMATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE THAT ACTUALLY WORK

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Affirmations for Confidence

Confidence, at its root, is simply possessing a deep and convincing belief in yourself. It is knowing that whatever you do, and whatever happens in your life, in the end, you are going to be all right. So, if you’re in search of discovering or creating such self-assuredness, these affirmations for confidence may be exactly what you need.

For whatever reason, many people don’t believe in themselves. In fact, most people doubt themselves, and have a deep mistrust of what they are capable of. It’s unfortunate too, because this lack of confidence can impact the quality our lives in very real and tangible ways. The lack of confidence leads to less action, less action leads to less opportunities seized, and less opportunities seized leads to well, a life that is less than amazing.

“A Confident Life = An Amazing Life”

Fortunately though, confidence is only a state of mind. And, much like a muscle, confidence can be strengthened, sculpted, and transformed, much like our physical bodies. And all it really requires is the determination to make it so. Without a doubt, improved confidence is a matter of choice. Your choice. You can, if you decide to, manufacture at will, your own higher levels of self-confidence. How? Simply put, through confidence affirmations.  

Affirmations are one of the most effective ways that you can immediately begin dialing up your self-belief. And as a result, your confidence.  All it takes is you speaking a few encouraging words to yourself daily.

By simply repeating a handful of confidence affirmations daily, you can fortify your mind against that small inner voice that has been telling you you’re not good enough lately.  And if you practice this positive self-talk daily with conviction and consistency you’ll be well on your way to becoming a new and more confident person in no-time at all.

So, to get you started on the right track of becoming a better and more confident you, we’re publishing only the best affirmations for confidence. The affirmations that actually work for boosting self-esteem, self-belief, and of course confidence. So, give them a shot. You have nothing to lose, and heaps of confidence to gain. You ready? Let’s go!!

25 BEST AFFIRMATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE

best affirmations for confidence

Affirmation 1: I Exude Confidence.

The first confidence affirmation is short, but powerful. Use it often while envisioning yourself overflowing with confidence. And before you know it, you will be.

Affirmation 2: Whatever Happens To Me, I Can Handle It.

You are more powerful and capable then you can imagine. And sometimes, just knowing that everything is going to be all right can give you that subtle edge of assuredness that others will see as glowing confidence.

Affirmation 3: I am Worthy of All The Good Things That Happen In My Life.

You are worthy, and when you’ve convinced yourself of this fact, the world will believe it too. So, use this affirmation often, and then carefully observe how everybody around you starts to treat you like the King/Queen that you are.

Affirmation 4: I Deserve The Highest and Best In Life.

You deserve what you believe you deserve. And if you can make that little voice in your head believe you deserve the highest and best, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how things start turning out for you.

You’ll begin making new friends, you’ll be treating a little better then others, but more importantly, you’ll start feeling great about yourself.

Affirmation 5: I Don’t Need Validation From Others.

By repeating this affirmation you’ll silence that doubting voice that all of us have heard which whispers, “But what will they think?”, “What if they laugh?”, “What will they say.”

This affirmation can and will make you a lion amongst men and women.

confidence affirmation on validation

Affirmation 6: I am a Lion, Not a Sheep.

Speaking of lions, this affirmation will give you the mental edge to not care about the opinions of others. Especially if those opinions are coming from people who don’t matter to you. So, embrace this affirmation to tap into your inner lion while silence your inner lamb.

Affirmation 7: I am Fearless.

There is magic in this affirmation. It works surprisingly fast, and it curbs self-doubt and fear in a matter of minutes. This affirmation is perfect to recite when your nerves are getting the best of you, like right before you give a public speech or call that special someone on the phone.

Affirmation 8: I Let Go of Negative feelings About Myself, and Accept Only The Good.

Much of our confidence, or lack there of, stems from our thoughts. Typically, the more negative our thinking is, the less confident we are. However, when our thoughts and feelings are filled with positive thoughts about the world and our life, we’ll naturally feel better about ourselves.

Affirmation 9: I Believe In Myself.

When a person believes in themselves, others can sense it. The resolute and deep belief in our own abilities, worthiness, and value is the equivalent of confidence. As such, finding a way to believe in yourself will do wonders for your confidence.

Related: Lacking Self Belief? Read This

So, force yourself to believe in yourself by using this simple affirmation often, and your confidence will soar as a result.

Affirmation 10: I Love Myself, As Well As Others.

Having positive and loving relationships with others as well as with ourselves is a powerful combination for increasing our self-confidence. And when you recite this affirmation, it helps facilitate the creation of more positive relationships in our lives.

self-confidence affirmation

Affirmation 11: I Release Anything That Doesn’t Serve Me.

All to often we hold on to negative judgement of others, or the negative feelings we experience when we’ve failed in the past. But, those feelings don’t serve you. In fact, they harm you and your confidence.

So, use this affirmation to let go of all those thoughts and feelings that don’t make you feel better about yourself.

Affirmation 12: I am Powerful, Positive, and Energetic.

This is one of our favorite affirmations for confidence because it helps create a positive vision of what confidence typically looks like to others. And, when we begin to feel more powerful, positive, and energetic, and we begin acting out such feelings, the world will struggle to see you as anything nothing less than the epitome of confidence.

Affirmation 13: I am Worthy of All That I Want.

One of the biggest impediments to confidence is the lack of self-worth. Affirmations alone won’t completely fix how much we value ourselves, but, taking positive steps to find daily victories in our everyday lives along with consistently reminding ourselves that we are indeed deserving of the things we want, can help usher us to a new and improved level of confidence.

Affirmation 14: I Trust Myself.

Self-trust is the essence of heroism. As such, use this affirmation to build your confidence muscles and draw out your inner hero.

Affirmation 15: I Have Faith In Myself.

Affirmation for Confidence

Affirmation 16: I Enjoy Meeting People and Making New Friends.

This affirmation is particularly helpful for introverts. Considering most introverts prefer to keep to themselves, they do. However, confidence is built when one is out in the world facing their fears with others.

Related: How to Win Friends Quotes

So, use this affirmation to get you of your comfort zone and into dynamic social situations that will force you to grow. The result, if you do it enough, will be more confidence.

Affirmation 17: I am Confident and Strong.

Confident people are associated with strength, and strong people are typically associated with confidence. So, convince your mind that you are both with this confidence affirmation and the day will come when it will be 100% true.

Affirmation 18: If God is For Me, Who Can Be Against Me.

There is just something comforting about this affirmation. It has the power to instantaneously fill one up with a level of assuredness that would be hard to find in the person who doesn’t believe it.

Affirmation 19: I am Becoming More Confident Each Day.

You can become more confident with each day that passes, so long as that is your intention. So, use this affirmation for confidence till you intentions lines up with reality.

Affirmation 20: I am Unique and Wonderful In All Ways.

You are unique, and there are many great things about you. As such, try to see those positives when you utter this affirmation, and you’ll see your confidence improve at a faster rate.

believe in yourself affirmations

Affirmation 21: God Is With Me; Is Helping Me; And Is Guiding Me.

Not everyone will be comfortable evoking the help of the divine. Some might even be too prideful, or doubtful of the merits of doing so.

However, regardless of whatever it is you believe in, or don’t believe in, if you’ll recite this affirmation with faith, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the results. But, don’t just take our word for it, give it a try yourself. Trust; but verify.

Affirmation 22: I am The Master of My Emotions.

People’s who cannot control their emotions rarely come across as the calm and level-headed person others see as confident. However, when you set it as a goal to become the master of how you think and feel about what happens to you, you’ll become that confident person everyone wishes they could be.

Affirmation 23: I am a Miracle.

This confidence affirmation is powerful. By repeating it, it will help you believe in your uniqueness, and in the fact that you are special.

That said, we believe you are a miracle, and when you start to believe it too, miracles will start to happen for you.

Affirmation 24: I am The Most Confident Person I Know.

The affirmation won’t be true at first, but with frequent use, you’ll be creating the ideal and uber-confident version of yourself in your mind often. As such, you’ll move yourself in the direction, over time, of becoming more confident then you ever thought you could be, and eventually, if you truly wish it to be, the most confident person you know.

Affirmation 25: I am Bold and Determined to Become My Best Self.

You have take some major steps to becoming a better and more confident version of yourself. And this affirmation does a great job setting the stage for what must be done to become the confident version of you that you aspire to.

Confidence Affirmation Bold and Determined

Final Thoughts on Confidence

Alright, you made it through our affirmations for confidence. Big kudos to you. Now, the real challenge is using these affirmations consistently. So, bookmark this page, and come back often.

Choose the affirmations that most resonate with you. And simply repeat them to yourself silently or out loud until your mind is filled with thoughts of faith, confidence, and a strong belief in yourself.

With that being said, go forth and believe in yourself. And trust that with a humble and reasonable confidence in your own powers you can and will be successful and happy.

Till next,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed these affirmations for confidence, then you’ll definitely find value in these additional resources for building up your confidence:

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