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How to Build Your Confidence

Have you ever lost out on a promotion, a raise, or otherwise a great opportunity due to a lack of confidence? Have you ever wondered how your boss, or the leaders within your organization have managed to become so self-assured and confident? Have you ever asked yourself the question, “How can I build my self-confidence like that?”, but have yet to find the answer? If you answered yes to any of these questions this article will be helpful to you. So, keep reading if you’re truly interested in building up your confidence once and for all.

Build Confidence Like a Boss

The purpose of this article is to essentially equip you with a handful of the most effective methods for building your confidence fast.  This way, when those pesky unforeseen fear-inducing challenges pop up as you march towards those inspiring opportunities and big goals you are chasing daily, you will be prepared to successfully manage them like a boss.

So, if you are ready to learn how you can build poise, self-assuredness, and confidence like a boss, then let’s dive right in.

You ready? Let’s go!

Best Ways to Quickly Build Your Confidence

Best Ways to Build Your Confidence

1. Affirm Your Belief In Yourself

Confidence, at its core, is a deep and unshakable belief in yourself.   When you are convinced you can accomplish something, and that you deserve the positive outcomes from achieving that accomplishment, the confidence in your ability to do that thing sky rockets.

One of the most effective ways I’ve come across to ingrain such rock solid belief in myself, has been through affirmations.    The most powerful affirmation that you can start using today, to crank up your self-belief is simply… “I believe in myself”.

Repeating this one affirmation alone, every day, will bring you positive results.  Of course, sometimes, more is necessary.    Here’s a great resource of affirmations you can glean to build your belief in yourself.

If you are not aware of what affirmations are, or if you are of the opinion that they are some hokey practice that only the ‘uncool’ would do, here are a few resources to help you change your mind.

2. Exercise

This one is simple.  Go exercise!  Staying in shape improves your confidence in multiple ways.  The first way, is that it actually makes you feel better on a physiological level.  Exercise will help you manage your weight better, it will help you reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, give you increased levels of energy, while improving overall feelings of well-being.

In addition to this, when you exercise, you inevitably look good.  When you look good, it’s a lot easier to be happy with yourself.  When you look in the mirror and like what you see, you subtly strengthen your confidence in yourself.  If you want to know how to build confidence, build your physique.  It’s like the saying goes… “when you look good, you play good”.

3. Set Goals For Yourself

This may sound counter-intuitive, but setting goals for yourself before you have the confidence to achieve them can actually help you become more confident.  Marci G. Fox, Ph.D outlines exactly how in her collaborative book ‘Think Confident Be Confident’ and in her write up on Psychology Today.

I can attest to this from my own experience as well.  Every time I gave myself a big goal to aim for, I inevitably began acting with more purpose and conviction, so as to make that goal a reality.   When you set a goal for yourself, you unconsciously affirm to yourself, that you believe you have what it takes to reach that goal.  And every time you take action on those goals, you reinforce that confidence in yourself.

Related: Why You Should Write Down Your Goals

4. Practice Solitude

 Taking some time to be alone with your thoughts can improve your self-esteem.  One might initially think that being alone would create feelings of loneliness, but this is untrue.  If it were true, then it wouldn’t be very good for improving confidence.  However; solitude is actually the opposite of being lonely.  This Huffington Post article, actually posits that solitude is the art of being alone, without feeling lonely.  A great concept.

Being able to spend time with yourself, alone, allows for you to drown out the voices from outside.  By doing this, you can actually listen to your own thoughts.  Being alone to listen to, consider, and respond to your own thoughts without external interruptions, will strengthen your self-awareness.  And having a stronger sense of self will lead to higher levels of self-esteem.

5. Practice Gratitude

When we practice expressing gratitude, we boost our self-worth and self-esteem.  When we become aware of how much we actually have, or how much we’ve accomplished in our lives, we give ourselves a small confidence injection.  To back this claim, the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology conducted a 2014 study, and discovered a link between practiced gratitude and high self-esteem.

Practicing gratitude also helps reduce a handful of other toxic feelings like resentment, frustration, and depression. This in turn leads to an improved overall sense of well-being, which supports heightened levels of confidence.  Time to start practicing an attitude of gratitude.

6. Take a Cold Shower

Taking cold showers works like a charm for two reasons; one is scientific, and the other is psychological.

The scientific aspect as to why cold showers can help build your self-confidence is due to the anti-depressive effect that stems from activating our sympathetic nervous system and increasing the blood level of beta-endorphin and norepinephrine.  What this essentially means, is that cold showers are good at flooding the mood-regulating areas of our brains with happy neurotransmitters and mood-boosting endorphins.  It’s basically like getting a runner’s high.

The psychological aspect is related to the will-power that must be exhibited to get yourself to actually do the deed.  Taking a cold-shower is very uncomfortable, requiring a strong force of will to get in and stay in for the entire duration of the shower.  Doing this time and time again strengthens your determination, and will give you the sense that you have conquered a weaker part of yourself.  All in all, taking cold showers is a sure-fire way to boost your confidence and make yourself feel like a champion.

7. Power Pose

In a previous post on how to crush fears, I included a well-known video by Amy Cuddy.  In that video, she posits the scientific benefits of power posing to increasing self-confidence.  She does a good job of providing research-backed insights that suggest we can influence ourselves with our own non-verbal communication.  If we make ourselves stand or pose in a powerful way, we can impact how confident we feel about ourselves.

So as an added way to build confidence, be sure you are paying attention to the message your own body language is sending.  So don’t hesitate to strike a pose from time to time.  Not sure where to start?  Read this article on the body language of champions.

8. Meditate

Mediation is the practice of quieting your mind and disciplining your attention. When done correctly, it can help put your mind at ease and silence your hyperactive thoughts.

Similar to the benefits of solitude, when you practice meditating you increase your awareness of just about everything, including your strengths and limitations.  And when you gain a better sense of self-awareness, you simultaneously gain confidence. has a great article that provides a lot more detail on how meditation improves self-confidence.  You can read more about it here.

9. Try Something New

When we try something new, we open ourselves up for creating new experiences and seeing the world in a different way.  Sometimes, all it takes to give our confidence a boost is a slight change in our perspectives.

When we put ourselves out there to do something outside of our normal routines, we give ourselves the opportunity to be energized by new people and unique experiences.

The small step of actually taking action to try something new can have immediate benefits to your confidence as well.   So get out there and do something, anything, just make sure it’s new.

Related: Best Books to Build Confidence

10. Force Spontaneity

Many of us operate our daily lives following a routine script we’ve set up for ourselves.  We do most of our daily undertakings in a mechanical way because it feels safe, familiar, and because we think we know what the outcome of our standard activities are going to be.

It’s okay to have a routine; however, mixing it up a bit, is exactly what you may need to ignite your confidence.

When we force ourselves to be spontaneous, we stretch ourselves.  We allow ourselves to be open to potential discomfort, and the uncertainty of the unknown.  Being spontaneous exposes us to situations that we don’t have an easy script to rely on to get us through the experience comfortably.  As such, spontaneity will forces you to adapt.  After being spontaneous a few times, you will come to trust that you can handle almost any situation, regardless of whether or not you were prepared for it.

11. Over-Prepare

Often times we lack confidence because we feel we aren’t good enough or prepared enough to do what we intend to do well.  So what’s the cure for crushing such feelings?  Over-preparing.  Yup, that’s it.  In short, if you do your best to learn everything about that subject, job, presentation, or whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, you will set yourself up for feeling way more confident.

When you over-prepare, there is no way you can’t be unprepared.  And with those feelings of having all your i’s dotted and t’s crossed, your self-confidence will skyrocket.

12. Push Your Limits

This is my last suggestion, and it is by far my favorite.  I like it because anyone can apply it, and it will produce positive results in multiple areas of your life.  My last suggestion for building confidence like a boss is this: If you push your limits and make great efforts towards any endeavor in your life, you will set yourself up for a flood of confidence.

Here’s why.  When you push yourself to go the extra mile, to do more than what others expect of you, when do more than you even think you should do, you create an opportunity to stand out in a positive way to others.  You’re boss or colleagues will be impressed with your effort, and their praise will inject you with confidence.

In addition, when you push your limits you will come to realize that you are capable of so much more than you initially thought yourself to be.  Coming to this realization will ignite your confidence to new, potentially staggering heights. #Strive


The results we get in life will be in direct proportion to the quantity and quality of the risks we take.  And the grandness of those risks we took, will we be dictated by the confidence we had when making them. Since you now know how to build confidence, you are now in a better position to win in life.

So, practice these confidence building tips routinely, and you position yourself to become the confident boss-like person you deserve to be.

Till next time,


P.S – If you liked these confidence building tips, then you’ll really like these powerful fear busting antidotes.

High effort, self-discipline, and fearless action are “my things”.  If you could use a bit more of these life-enhancing attributes, or if you want to be nudged from time to time to start taking action on your goals and dreams, follow me on Twitter.