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HOW TO BECOME AN EXTROVERT AND OVERCOME SHYNESS FOREVER

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How to Become an Extrovert

Have you ever found yourself dreaming about someday speaking in front of large audiences, being the life of a party at a networking event, or working closely with teams of people to complete a big project; only to later think to yourself that perhaps this fanciful idea is unlikely because, well…you’re shy?

Want to Learn How to Become an Extrovert?

If so, maybe it’s because you have introverted tendencies, but extroverted ambitions.

Say what?

Look, all I mean, is that you probably like to keep to yourself, you don’t really enjoy being in large group settings, you don’t fancy small talk, but, you do aspire to achieve big goals and grand achievements.  You know, the kind that seems to favor those with an outgoing and gregarious personality.

If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you are not alone. In fact, there are heaps of people who are in the same boat.  Thousands and thousands of people want to know how to overcome shyness too.  The great news is, your vision of success and ambitions don’t have to be put on hold just because you are an introvert.

I used to be an introvert.  I still am actually.  I’ve just found a way to camouflage my introverted inclinations.  Put another way, I’ve learned some interpersonal and social communication strategies that allow me to “cloak” my introversion.  I’ve learned how to become an extrovert.

And the great news is, anybody can do it.

The Outgoing Introvert

These days, most people would think me to be an extrovert.  I’ve been called gregarious, outgoing, social, and even the life of the party before.  If I were to believe what others have said about me, I would have to consider myself an extrovert.

But the truth is, I know myself, and I am far from it.  I have had my moments in the past where I’ve let loose and just let my guard/hair down.  You know, just going with flow and letting my voice be heard.  Of course, in most of those past instances, imbibing several alcoholic beverages was typically involved.

It was in those moments that I learned through the eyes of others, my ability to be an extrovert, even though I wasn’t one at heart.   I say this, because for the most part, I really am a low-key individual. 

I am the type of person who has no problem keeping to himself all day long, and getting lost in my work.  And typically, I still prefer to not attend large social events.  Networking is not much fun for me, and I still find myself avoiding group events (from time to time), especially if I can get away with it.

Fortunately, in the instance that I must “get social”, or when I must speak in front of large groups of people, I can now do it with ease and in a way where others actually suspect me to be some type of social-butterfly.

And quite astonishingly, zero ‘drinks’ are needed.

Learning to Become an Extrovert

If you’re wondering “Well, how is he able to do this?”  Let me first give you some background as to how I acquired such strategies.  Then I’ll give you some ways to help you do the same.

Years ago, I got fed up with my job working as an analyst for an engineering firm, and decided to jump into selling real estate.  If you know anything about analytics or engineering, you’re probably aware, that by and large, people in this profession are very reserved, analytical, and keen on staying out of the public eye.  In short, social is not their strong suite.

Similarly, real estate agents, or sales professionals in general are quite the opposite of the engineer or analytics professional.  They are outgoing, talkative, easy to be around, and bluntly put, social.

As a novice real estate agent who thrust himself into the deep waters of sales, with zero sales experience, and with the social inclinations of an engineer, one could say that drowning was imminent.

The Miracle of Action

Business was not booming, and my savings were taking a nose dive week by week for three months straight.  So, I did what any person in such a situation would do, I started to flail.  In my case, this flailing consisted of putting myself out there 10x more than I was already doing.

It consisted of reading a handful of books on communication, sales, psychology.  It also consisted of practicing, a concept that I had long forgotten since my days playing college football.  A concept that seemed quite foreign in a working world where the only time people seem to be concerned with their work, was from 9 to 5.

Miraculously, I found a way to transform myself into an extrovert when it mattered most.  And I ultimately became the type of person my goals needed me to be.

To help you overcome shyness and become an extrovert, I’ve put together this short list of the key methods most useful in helping me make my transformation.

7 Simple Tips to Help You Become an Extrovert

Tips to Become an Extrovert

 1  –  Put Yourself Out There

Really, one of the best things you can do to get out of your head and into the world, is to just put yourself out there.  When you constantly push yourself to do things in front of people, or force yourself to talk to others, even when you don’t want to, you strengthen your ability to do more of it in the future.

If you do it enough, it will eventually become a habit and you won’t have any problems showing up as an extrovert when the time arises.  Until you get to that point of course, the following steps will be helpful.

2  –  To Become an Extrovert, First Practice Being One

This may sound odd, but practicing the gift of gab is essential if you want to show up as a gifted communicator.  In short, when you practice chatting up someone, you are training yourself for a performance.

The benefits of this are two-fold.  First off, if you are practice anything, you will eventually get better.  So if you practice shooting the breeze with others, you will become more comfortable with it eventually.  Similarly, if you practice alone in front of a mirror, it will be as if you are preparing to perform. 

Much benefit can also be gleamed from mental practice as well.  Meaning, if habitually envision yourself chatting up others flawlessly, or speaking in front of people without a hitch, you’ll actually be prepared to do it well when opportunity arises.

This is where the second benefit of practice comes in.  Basically, if you can see your social interactions more as a performance, then it can make communicating much easier to large groups or to others at social events much easier. 

The reason for this is because if you consider your communication as performing, then you don’t have to attach yourself to the outcome of the conversation or speech.   And by detaching yourself, you essentially get to protect your ego in the event you do get judged.

3  –  Make Confidence and Extroversion a Study

Reading up on ways to overcome shyness is essential to transforming yourself into an extrovert.  In fact, some of the books I read to get help me make my quick transformation included books such as Courage – The Art of Living Dangerously, The Magic of Thinking Big, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, How to Talk to Anyone, Real Magic, How to Talk on Your Feet, etc.

In using the Fearless Formula, you get distilled knowledge curated from over 20 + different experts on how to ‘come out of your shell’ and show up as an extrovert.

If you are shy, introverted, and need an action oriented tool to help you become an extrovert, then this is a great place to start your study of the subject.  And, then you’d be doing yourself an enormous favor by adding some of these excellent resources on confidence to your library as well.

4  –  Become an Active Listener

Oddly, this method is probably the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communication.  I learned this method from Dale Carnegie’s book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’.  When people feel they’re being sincerely listened to, they’ll associate positive qualities to the listener.

So in essence, when we listen carefully to what others are saying, and genuinely show interest in them, people will find us to be sociable and interesting as well.  Not only that, but by actively listening to others, you worrying less about what you ‘should’ say next.

When we take the focus off of us, and put it on others, people will be more eager to chat with us.  Magically, you’ll become sought out for conversation and social interactions.  And knowing that others actually want to talk to us (because everybody wants to talk about numero uno…themselves), it makes chatting up other people a whole lot easier.

5 – Have Something to Talk About

Many people shy away from talking with others because they feel like they don’t have much in common them. But there is an simple remedy for this.  A simple tactic to help you come out of your shell, is to always ensure you are up to date with current affairs.  Knowing what is going on in the world can go along way in helping you relate to people about “the happenings of the day”.

By having material to converse about with others, and topics others would be interested in knowing about or would want to hear your opinion on, you’ll increase your preparedness to talk with others freely.  And the more prepared you feel, the more comfortably you’ll be a striking up conversations with strangers.

So brush up on the news and what’s popular, and be ready to share your opinions like an extrovert.

6 – To Become Extroverted You Must Get Your Mind Right

Many introverts have a problem with busy brains.  We process events and things in a very cerebral way and so tend to overthink things. 

Unfortunately, this tends to show up as internal conversations we have with ourselves about everything.  And sometimes, those inner conversations create unnecessary alarm.

As an introvert, your inner voice can become loud, especially when you are about to do something that makes you nervous.  This inner talk leads to even more nervousness, especially if that voice is filled with a nervous tone.  It can be a compounding effect.  And it is this compounding effect that paralyzes many introverts from “getting out there”.

As an introvert you’re nervous enough as it is, and having an inner voice yelling at you… “No, no, don’t do it!  It’s not gonna work, you’re gonna make a fool of yourself,” etc.. doesn’t help your situation.

So, to fight this, you must get your mind right.  And the best way to get your mind right is to silence your inner doubter with meditation.   If you start practicing mediation daily, you’ll easily learn how to gag your inner nervous chatter.  And when you gag that inner train-wreck, trying your hand at becoming an extrovert is a whole lot easier.

7 – Visualize the Extrovert You Want to Be

If you really want to know how to become an extrovert, you must not skip this step.  One of the most powerful tactics you can employ to unleash your inner extrovert, is to visualize the extrovert you want to be.  I know that sounds simple, but the mind is a powerful thing.

When you start to visualize that powerful outgoing you, the version you want to be, you give yourself subconscious mind permission to seek ways to bring that ‘you’ into reality.   If you don’t know where to start, just follow Napoleon Hill’s Self-Confidence formula.  It is a powerful tool and it can help you begin the visualizing you need to do, to step into your extroverted self.

Final Words on How to Become an Extrovert

There you have it, seven powerful tactics to help you become the extrovert that you know you can be.  As you strive to become more extroverted remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be born an extrovert in order to achieve meaningful success in their lives.  It’s true, many an extrovert is born that way, but many have also been made.

Never forget that many celebrities, leaders, and uber-successful entrepreneurs are introverts; like Stephen Spielberg (Multi-Award Winning Director), James Hetfield (Lead Singer of Metallica), Tom Hanks (Actor),  J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter Series), Barak Obama (ex-President of the United States), and Elon Musk (Inventor and CEO of Tesla), and if they can succeed, so can you.

The people who have the ability to transform themselves into an extrovert on demand, will be better able to capitalize on opportunities when they arise.  And you now have seven little secrets that most introverted people will never be aware of.  Lucky you!

Till next time

STRIVE

PS  –  If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, get this today!

High effort, self-discipline, and fearless action are “my things”.  If you could use a bit more of these life-enhancing attributes, or if you want to be nudged from time to time to start taking action on your goals and dreams, follow me on Twitter.

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