Have you ever admired those people who seem to “have it all”? The ones you see conversing confidently at business meetings or powerfully at social gatherings.
How about the ones with the best jobs, the perfect spouses, the top-notch friends, the biggest bank accounts, or living in the hippest neighborhoods?
You know in your gut, they are not smarter than you. They are definitely not more educated than you. And better looking? Ha! No way, not even close!
So what is it?
What is it, that these “lucky” few seem to possess, that the rest of the worlds doesn’t?
The answer may come as a surprise, but it is nothing more then their ability to manufacture instant confidence.
Confidence is a magical thing that can do much for you, if you learn how to unleash it at will.
How to Gain Confidence
You see, many people never realize that being over-looked for that promotion was their own fault. They never realize, that those deep-cutting rejections they keep experiencing, is their fault as well.
They ignore the facts. And the facts are, that the people who seem to get the deals they want, the promotions they want, and even the spouse they want, all stem from how confident they were when it came time win it.
When it came time to execute, the people who have the most confidence in their ability to get what they want, end up getting it.
It’s as if their confidence were a type of a magic spell. A spell that allows them to magically turn everything they do into a success.
The great news is, anyone can harness this magical quality. Anyone can master their ability to make bosses want to hire and promote them, and their ability to keep clients and customers addicted to their offerings. Anyone can master self-confidence.
If you want to, you can start winning more in life. You too can have your own form of the Midas touch. But, you need to be willing to practice and apply what I am about to teach you.
If you’re looking to gain an advantage over those select few who seems to be naturally kicking-ass and taking names, then you need to employ these strategies. By doing so, you will gain the confidence that will put you leagues above the competition.
Study and practice these tips on how to gain confidence and you’ll soon become “that person” who’s gets whatever they want in life.
7 WAYS TO GAIN SOCIAL CONFIDENCE INSTANTLY
1. Be More Prepared
First things first. If you want to exude the type of confidence that comes off as natural, and packs the most punch, it is this, be sure you are prepared.
To get ahead of the competition in anything, you need to be more prepared than them. But to really showcase the confidence that you are a winner, a closer, or the best person for the job, is to be over prepared.
In everything you do, especially where a prize is to be won (and let’s be honest, there is always a prize to be won), you must know you know your stuff. Knowing your stuff is the first step to supercharged levels of self-confidence.
The prize almost always goes to the person who is more prepared, unless of course, the competition demonstrates subtle signs of heightened confidence. Subtle signs of higher levels of self-confidence that can only come if they’ve made it a point to ensure the following: a strong belief in themselves.
2. Manufacture Self-Belief
Confidence, at its core, is having a deep and certain belief in yourself. It is easy to sense who believes in themselves, and who doesn’t. And most people, don’t believe in themselves. Most people aren’t convinced they are capable of doing anything they set their minds to.
But, there are a few who are convinced. And many of the few who are convinced, have become so, by choice. They were not born with a strong sense of self-belief, but, they learned that they can manufacture it at will. They learned how to force themselves to believe in numero uno, themselves.
How did they do it? Easy.
They used affirmations. Affirmations are one of the most powerful ways that any person can start cranking up their self-belief today. All you got to do, is utter a few words.
You can’t half-ass it though. You must repeat your self-designed affirmations that best fortify your mind against any of your perceived weaknesses. And it must be done with conviction.
If you practice affirmations with consistency, and the conviction that it will work, you’ll be surprised by the boost in your self-belief. And a boost in self-belief leads to the type of confidence that seems to naturally flow from every word and action of the “successful”.
Affirmations are powerful, so use them. But know, that winners always find other ways to one up the competition. Winners are always looking for new techniques and strategies that can give them the edge.
If you want to win the game, you will need to ensure you are injecting your confidence with other solid confidence building strategies. Strategies and techniques that will ensure you have the confidence to dominate.
Keep on reading for more of these strategies.
Related: Confidence Affirmations
3. Project Confidence
Look, sometimes, you won’t feel as confident as you’d like to. You may be the most prepared, you may even have rock-solid self-belief after doing affirmations, but there will be times when you still feel a bit off. If this is the case, fear not. You can still ensure you are seen as the most confident, if when you don’t feel like it, by tapping your inner peacock.
What do I mean, by tapping your inner peacock! I mean you should project your confidence, like a peacock.
Peacocks strut their stuff. They make sure they are noticed. They don’t hide their tail, and neither should you.
It may sound crazy, but it works. Here are few things you can do project your confidence, and start being noticed as the uber-confident Rockstar we both know you can be.
Start Speaking Up
In all occasions, you need to start speaking up. Force yourself to participate and engage in conversations. Confident people mix an mingle. Confident people aren’t afraid of mixing it up with people, both in work settings and social settings. So force yourself to engage with others. By doing so, you’ll come across as a confident person who is surer of himself. Do it enough, and eventually you will become that person.
Force Eye Contact
When you start speaking up, people will begin to engage with you. And when they do, you need to make sure you are making strong eye contact with them. If you find yourself looking away when people speak to you, they will sense you lack confidence. When you look away, people smell blood, weakness. So don’t look away.
Force yourself to gaze at their eyes. Make them be the first to break eye-contact. When you do so, you establish your dominance, and people will feel your confidence.
Walk With Purpose
Start paying attention to how you walk. And when you do walk, start walking like a champ. Don’t drag your feet, don’t walk slow, don’t slouch.
Instead, walk with purpose. Confident people walk like they are on a mission. Usually, it is because they are on a mission. If you want to be seen as a confident person, as a person who is on a mission, pick up the pace. Consider walking at least 25% faster.
But I don’t have a mission?
Now you do. Your new mission is to showcase your confidence, and walk with purpose.
Smiling says to the world that everything is going well for me. Smiling conveys happiness, ease, and confidence. Unhappy people don’t laugh or smile much. Which showcases to the world that they somehow somewhere are not in control of their lives.
So, if you want to be seen as a confident person who has their stuff together, smile bigger. You may have to fake it at first, but like they say, fake it till you make it.
Act Like a Winner
Lastly, act like a winner. One of the best tips on how to gain confidence is to act like you already have it. That’s right, act like the winner that you want to be. Stand up straight, put your chin out, and act like a person with pride. Act like a person who makes a million bucks, act like a person who always gets the girl (or guy). Act like a winner, a champion, a giant.
Why? Because people respond positively to people with presence. And when people positively respond to you powerful presence, your confidence will start to grow.
4. Get Into Shape
Look good, feel good, play good. When you get into shape, meaning, you sculpt your body into a shape that you feel good about, you will convey those good feelings out to the world.
When you look in the mirror and like what you see, you instantly improve your social confidence.
There are also scientific reasons for why exercising will make you feel better. Not only will it help you get a better grip on your weight, it will help you reduce anxiety and feelings of depression. But most importantly, it will give you energy.
And if there is anything a confident person has, it is energy. So if you want improve your confidence, get into shape.
5. Know Where You are Going
Confident people know where they are going in life. They live with purpose. They pursue goals, and they work hard to achieve them.
Typically, it is the people who don’t have any goals and are meandering through life aimlessly that seem to have zero confidence.
They don’t have confidence because they don’t need it. They’re not going anywhere or doing anything with their lives that would demand it.
But goals, especially BIG ones, will demand your confidence.
So, if you want to inject instant confidence into your life, create a solid plan for achieving some audacious goals. And then get started on chasing those goals.
Because it is the chase that will tell your subconscious mind, “Okay, I am going somewhere, I can do this, I am going to be someone.”
Related: Find More Direction & Purpose
6. Exert Extra Effort
Having an extra-mile mindset is the name of the game. People who live the extra-mile mindset know it is like a cheat code for unleashing their inner winner.
Champions become champions by going the extra-mile. They win because of their willingness to give everything they do, a little extra effort.
They know the difference between try and triumph is a little “umph”.
When you approach every area in your life with the extra-mile mindset, which is the mindset that you will do whatever it takes to win, to improve, to get better, to succeed, you communicate to yourself and to the world, that you and champions are cut from the same cloth.
When you live this approach, and do everything in this mode, something magical happens. You start to win more. You will begin to win in all that you do, and this winning will lead to more and more confidence for you.
So start pushing your limits, start going the extra-mile in every area of your life. When you do so you set the stage for the avalanche of confidence that is bound to come your way.
7. Go Fearless
Imagine if there was a magic pill you could take that would almost instantly turn you into a uber-confident action hero. After taking this pill, you’d be filled with courage and feel invincible, like you could take on the world. Well, there is no such pill, but there is a next best thing, its called ‘Go Fearless’.
Go Fearless has over 57 little confidence hacks that will help you gain Big success in many aspects of your life: including how to overcome the fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, and the general lack action that stems from too little confidence in yourself.
If you seriously want to know how to gain confidence in all areas of your life, then read, study, and practice everything within this powerful little resource.
We all have an inner winner within us. But, that beast needs to be unleashed. If you want to start racking up some wins, you will need to let it out into the world.
When you learn how to turn your confidence on at will, amazing things will begin to happen for you.
Remember, you don’t have to be born confident, good-looking, or rich to start succeeding. Just follow the steps outlined on how to gain confidence, and you will catapult yourself onto a whole new level of success.
Now go put these strategies into practice and unleash your inner winner.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this post on how to gain confidence, then you’ll really appreciate this comprehensive guide on how to slowly build confidence in yourself.
HOW TO BECOME AN EXTROVERT AND OVERCOME SHYNESS FOREVER
Have you ever found yourself dreaming about someday speaking in front of large audiences, being the life of a party at a networking event, or working closely with teams of people to complete a big project; only to later think to yourself that perhaps this fanciful idea is unlikely because, well…you’re shy?
Want to Learn How to Become an Extrovert?
Look, all I mean, is that you probably like to keep to yourself, you don’t really enjoy being in large group settings, you don’t fancy small talk, but, you do aspire to achieve big goals and grand achievements. You know, the kind that seems to favor those with an outgoing and gregarious personality.
If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you are not alone. In fact, there are heaps of people who are in the same boat. Thousands and thousands of people want to know how to overcome shyness too. The great news is, your vision of success and ambitions don’t have to be put on hold just because you are an introvert.
I used to be an introvert. I still am actually. I’ve just found a way to camouflage my introverted inclinations. Put another way, I’ve learned some interpersonal and social communication strategies that allow me to “cloak” my introversion. I’ve learned how to become an extrovert.
And the great news is, anybody can do it. Including you!
“There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.” – Carl YungTweet Quote
The Outgoing Introvert
These days, most people would think me to be an extrovert. I’ve been called gregarious, outgoing, social, and even the life of the party before. If I were to believe what others have said about me, I would have to consider myself an extrovert.
But the truth is, I know myself, and I am far from it. I have had my moments in the past where I’ve let loose and just let my guard/hair down. You know, just going with flow and letting my voice be heard. Of course, in most of those past instances, imbibing several alcoholic beverages was typically involved.
It was in those moments that I learned through the eyes of others, my ability to be an extrovert, even though I wasn’t one at heart. I say this, because for the most part, I really am a low-key individual.
I am the type of person who has no problem keeping to himself all day long, and getting lost in my work. And typically, I still prefer to not attend large social events. Networking is not much fun for me, and I still find myself avoiding group events (from time to time), especially if I can get away with it.
Fortunately, in the instance that I must “get social”, or when I must speak in front of large groups of people, I can now do it with ease and in a way where others actually suspect me to be some type of social-butterfly.
And quite astonishingly, zero ‘drinks’ are needed.
“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” – Susan CainTweet Quote
Learning to Become an Extrovert
If you’re wondering “Well, how is he able to do this?” Let me first give you some background as to how I acquired such strategies. Then I’ll give you some ways to help you do the same.
Years ago, I got fed up with my job working as an analyst for an engineering firm, and decided to jump into selling real estate. If you know anything about analytics or engineering, you’re probably aware, that by and large, people in this profession are very reserved, analytical, and keen on staying out of the public eye. In short, social is not their strong suite.
Similarly, real estate agents, or sales professionals in general are quite the opposite of the engineer or analytics professional. They are outgoing, talkative, easy to be around, and bluntly put, social.
As a novice real estate agent who thrust himself into the deep waters of sales, with zero sales experience, and with the social inclinations of an engineer, one could say that drowning was imminent.
The Miracle of Action
Business was not booming, and my savings were taking a nose dive week by week for three months straight. So, I did what any person in such a situation would do, I started to flail. In my case, this flailing consisted of putting myself out there 10x more than I was already doing.
It consisted of reading a handful of books on communication, sales, psychology. It also consisted of practicing, a concept that I had long forgotten since my days playing college football. A concept that seemed quite foreign in a working world where the only time people seem to be concerned with their work, was from 9 to 5.
Miraculously, I found a way to transform myself into an extrovert when it mattered most. And I ultimately became the type of person my goals needed me to be.
And now I want to share what I learned with you. So, to help you overcome shyness and become an extrovert, I’ve put together this short list of strategies that were the most useful in helping me make my transformation.
7 SIMPLE TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME AN EXTROVERT
1. Put Yourself Out There
Really, one of the best things you can do to get out of your head and into the world, is to just put yourself out there. When you constantly push yourself to do things in front of people, or force yourself to talk to others, even when you don’t want to, you’ll strengthen your ability to do more of it in the future.
Start small, by doing things that are on the edgy of your comfort zone. Then slowly move to activities that are just beyond it.
If you do this enough, it will eventually become a habit and you won’t have any problems showing up as an extrovert when the time arises. Until you get to that point of course, the following steps will be helpful.
2. To Become an Extrovert, First Practice Being One
This may sound odd, but practicing the gift of gab is essential if you want to show up as a gifted communicator. In short, when you practice chatting up someone, you are training yourself for a performance.
The benefits of this are two-fold. First off, if you are practice anything, you will eventually get better. So if you practice shooting the breeze with others, you will become more comfortable with it eventually. Similarly, if you practice alone in front of a mirror, it will be as if you are preparing to perform.
Much benefit can also be gleamed from mental practice as well. Meaning, if habitually envision yourself chatting up others flawlessly, or speaking in front of people without a hitch, you’ll actually be prepared to do it well when opportunity arises.
This is where the second benefit of practice comes in. Basically, if you can see your social interactions more as a performance, then it can make communicating to large groups or to others at social events much easier.
The reason for this is because if you consider your communication as performing, then you don’t have to attach yourself to the outcome of the conversation or speech. And by detaching yourself, you essentially get to protect your ego in the event you do get judged.
3. Make Confidence and Extroversion a Study
Reading up on ways to overcome shyness is essential to transforming yourself into an extrovert. In fact, some of the books I read to get help me make my quick transformation included books such as Courage – The Art of Living Dangerously, The Magic of Thinking Big, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, How to Talk to Anyone, Real Magic, How to Talk on Your Feet, etc.
In using the Fearless Formula, you get distilled knowledge curated from over 20 + different experts on how to ‘come out of your shell’ and show up as an extrovert.
If you are shy, introverted, and need an action oriented tool to help you become an extrovert, then this is a great place to start your study of the subject. And, then you’d be doing yourself an enormous favor by adding some of these excellent resources on confidence to your library as well.
4. Become an Active Listener
Oddly, this method is probably the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communication. I learned this method from Dale Carnegie’s book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’. When people feel they’re being sincerely listened to, they’ll associate positive qualities to the listener.
So in essence, when we listen carefully to what others are saying, and genuinely show interest in them, people will find us to be sociable and interesting as well. Not only that, but by actively listening to others, you worrying less about what you ‘should’ say next.
When we take the focus off of us, and put it on others, people will be more eager to chat with us. Magically, you’ll become sought out for conversation and social interactions. And knowing that others actually want to talk to us (because everybody wants to talk about numero uno…themselves), it makes chatting up other people a whole lot easier.
5. Have Something to Talk About
Many people shy away from talking with others because they feel like they don’t have much in common them. But there is an simple remedy for this. A simple tactic to help you come out of your shell, is to always ensure you are up-to-date with current affairs. Knowing what is going on in the world can go along way in helping you relate to people about “the happenings of the day”.
By having material to converse about with others, and topics others would be interested in knowing about or would want to hear your opinion on, you’ll increase your preparedness to talk with others freely. And the more prepared you feel, the more comfortably you’ll be a striking up conversations with strangers.
So brush up on the news and what’s popular, and be ready to share your opinions like an extrovert.
6. To Become Extroverted You Must Get Your Mind Right
Many introverts have a problem with busy brains. We process events and things in a very cerebral way and so tend to overthink things.
Unfortunately, this tends to show up as internal conversations we have with ourselves about everything. And sometimes, those inner conversations create unnecessary alarm.
As an introvert, your inner voice can become loud, especially when you are about to do something that makes you nervous. This inner talk leads to even more nervousness, especially if that voice is filled with a nervous tone. It can be a compounding effect. And it is this compounding effect that paralyzes many introverts from “getting out there”.
As an introvert you’re nervous enough as it is, and having an inner voice yelling at you… “No, no, don’t do it! It’s not gonna work, you’re gonna make a fool of yourself,” etc.. doesn’t help your situation.
So, to fight this, you must get your mind right. And the best way to get your mind right is to silence your inner doubter with meditation. If you start practicing mediation daily, you’ll easily learn how to gag your inner nervous chatter. And when you gag that inner train-wreck, trying your hand at becoming an extrovert is a whole lot easier.
7. Visualize the Extrovert You Want to Be
If you really want to know how to become an extrovert, you must not skip this step. One of the most powerful tactics you can employ to unleash your inner extrovert, is to visualize the extrovert you want to be.
In your mind, be the extrovert you want to be. I know that sounds simple, but the mind is a powerful thing.
When you start to visualize that powerful outgoing you, the version you want to be, you give yourself subconscious mind permission to seek ways to bring that ‘you’ into reality. If you don’t know where to start, just follow Napoleon Hill’s Self-Confidence formula. It is a powerful tool and it can help you begin the visualizing you need to do, to step into your extroverted self.
Final Words on How to Become an Extrovert
There you have it, seven powerful tactics to help you become the extrovert that you know you can be. Here’s a quick recap to help you retain what you just learned:
- Put Yourself Out There
- Practice Being an Extrovert
- Study Confident & Extroverted People
- Become an Active Listener
- Always Have Something to Talk About
- Calm Your Mind
- Use Visualization
As you strive to become more extroverted remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be born an extrovert in order to achieve meaningful success in their lives. It’s true, many extroverts were born extroverts, but many have also been made.
Never forget that many celebrities, leaders, and uber-successful entrepreneurs are introverts; like Stephen Spielberg (Multi-Award Winning Director), James Hetfield (Lead Singer of Metallica), Tom Hanks (Actor), J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter Series), Barak Obama (ex-President of the United States), and Elon Musk (Inventor and CEO of Tesla), and if they can succeed, so can you.
The people who have the ability to transform themselves into an extrovert on demand, will be better able to capitalize on opportunities when they arise. And you now have seven little secrets that most introverted people will never be aware of. Lucky you!
Till next time,
PS – If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, be sure to read this today!
BE YOUR OWN HERO
The Strive recently published an article by Atlas Rowe about finding your greatness.
It was a great article and he made many good points that I agree with.
There are a lot of people that are worried that wanting to be successful or rich will make them no different than one of those egotistical, entitled, shallow rich people. I know because I used to be one. I used to think the pursuit of money made me shallow and ugly.
But there are also a lot of people that want things to be easy. I know because I used to be one of those people too, not wanting to put myself out there and take a risk, in case I fell flat on my face.
It felt safer to wait until I had the perfect idea, or for the perfect moment.
I put a condition on my success without realising it.
Success was only possible if first x,y and z happened.
What is Your Dream?
Tell me, do you have a dream? A wish? Want to lose weight, start a business, get married, find that perfect job?
Here’s a question: What is holding you back?
Why haven’t you started your business yet?
Why aren’t you married yet?
Why are you still complaining about your dead end job, why haven’t you done anything about it?
I can hear the litany of excuses you are likely shouting at me now.
“There are no jobs available that i’m qualified for.”
“I can’t afford a gym membership right now so I can’t lose weight.”
“There are no more good men/women left to date.”
I hear it all the time and it drives me nuts. Friends, family, co-workers, all complaining about something or another without taking action.
So many of us are waiting for the right moment.
We have a dream but we add a condition to it so we have a convenient excuse on why we haven’t taken action yet.
And it allows us to say “It’s not my fault”.
Too often we want what we want without making an effort.
Yes you want to be a millionaire and I see you buying lottery tickets, but honestly, you are more likely to get rich starting your own internet business than you are winning the lottery.
You are like a victim in a superhero movie, waiting for Batman to sweep in and save you.
Well here’s a thought: IT’S TIME TO BE YOUR OWN HERO!
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero, because everybody is busy trying to save themselves.” – C.T.Tweet Quote
Batman didn’t know what he was doing at first either. It took him a while to perfect his costume (let’s face it he still can’t turn his neck). He had to learn how to fight, leap from buildings, drive ridiculous cars and bikes (I mean really!).
He doesn’t carry a gun so he has to pummel bad guys with his bare hands, and get pummelled in the process himself.
The police hate him. He has no friends, and only one person, Alfred, knows his true identity.
Yet he goes to work during the day and then at night, instead of sitting in front of the TV eating pizza, he goes out fighting crime so he can make his city a better place to live in.
No-one shows up to save him, but everyone expects him to save them.
His life sucks, big time!
I bet it sucks more than yours.
But still he does it. He does it because he has a dream and no-one else can do it for him.
It’s time for you to become your own hero and make your own world better.
I have researched a lot of successful people, and if there is one thing I can say for sure, is that they took responsibility for their own lives.
They took action to make their dreams come true.
There was no waiting for the right job, or the right moment.
They didn’t sit around complaining that no-one was helping them, that they didn’t know how to do something, or about their boss, or their lack of opportunities.
They went out there and they made it happen.
For most of them, it was hard, it took time, there were many setbacks, people saying it couldn’t be done.
I bet they were lonely, and scared, and worried about money. But they stayed the course until they succeeded.
There’s a quote floating around on the internet, how some people work for years and years only to suddenly become “successful overnight”.
It’s like TheStrive.co, do you think they built this website overnight? No, it took years of hard work and dedication to make it the brilliant site it is today.
I used to be one of those mediocre underachievers, never really trying too hard to achieve things, I worried about failing, or being seen to fail.
I didn’t think I could do it and to be honest I was simply too scared.
It has taken many years of reprogramming my brain, but I’ve realized that I am actually capable of anything I put my mind to, I SIMPLY HAVE TO GET STARTED.
- When I try things, I am more likely to achieve something.
- And I learn from it.
- I even learn from failing.
- This increases my confidence.
- Which means that now I am willing to try even bigger and better things.
I became my own hero.
I now know that if I want something to happen, it is my duty and responsibility to do it.
No-one else can do it for me. It’s just me, I have to take action.
What Does it Mean to Be Your Own Hero?
It means no more excuses.
No more waiting for the right moment, or the right opportunity.
No more being afraid.
Your parents aren’t responsible for your life, nor your boss, your teachers, your partner or your financial adviser.
You are the person responsible for your life.
It’s time to take action, even if it’s a small step, to making your dreams come true.
How Do I Start? Where Do I Start?
If you want a promotion then don’t wait until you feel ready.
There are two types of people in this world, those who think they are ready to be CEO when they are not, and those who never feel ready, so they don’t even try.
You’re obviously in the 2nd group otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
Make an appointment with your boss, state your case for a promotion, and get clarity of what you’ll have to do to make it happen.
My boss gave me a lot of projects to work on for a year or two to raise my profile.
It also gave me lots of material to put on my promotion form to prove I have what it takes to go to the next level.
Enough complaining about how much you hate your job.
It’s time to start looking for a new job.
The perfect job isn’t going to find you through magic, you’ll have to go looking for it.
And like a princess you’re going to have to kiss a few frogs.
This means go for interviews even if you don’t particularly want the job, because it is great practise.
That way when the job you DO want comes along, your interview skills will be awesome.
- Write your CV.
- Create a few online job seeker profiles – there are many websites to choose from, in all industries. Start with Linked In if you are unsure.
- Search for 10 jobs at least, they don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need to have all the qualifications listed.
- Apply for those 10 jobs.
- Wait a week or two. REPEAT the process until you get at least three interviews.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about dating.
I often feel that when we date, or when we are single, we are hoping someone will come along and sweep us off our feet, solve all our problems for us, tell us we’re beautiful and smart, make us feel loved and worthy of being loved.
We expect them to help us magically melt all our insecurities away in a heartbeat.
If only the right person would come along to love you, you could finally feel confident, secure and happy.
We’re all waiting for that confident, pretty, successful and rich person to come along.
No-one thinks to become that person themselves.
The problem with waiting for someone else to be your hero, is that there are no perfect heroes. Everyone has their own problems, and their own insecurities.
So instead you must become the hero in your own story.
When I first saw the movie Shrek, I was very amused by the princess.
She is clearly her own hero capable of saving herself.
But instead of taking ownership, she chooses to wait around for her perfect prince to come along.
Don’t be the princess in the tower.
Consider this: Why should someone else love you if you don’t love yourself?
Work on yourself, learn to love yourself.
So you want to have your own business but don’t know where to start?
Here’s a thought: E-commerce
Selling a product on Amazon is the easiest way to get started and you can do that while still showing up for your day job (the one you hate).
- Make a list of everything you have bought yourself over the past 6 months.
- Then make a list of everything your partner has bought over the past 6 months
- And another list of everything you hear your friends or work colleagues talk about.
- Have kids in the family? Well what toys do they talk about or like playing with?
If you still don’t have an idea for your first product then it’s time to pivot to some other type of business.
It’s time to stop talking about it and finally sign up for your MBA, or those guitar lessons you’ve had on your New Year’s Resolutions now for 5 years straight.
I bet at least one person you work with has an MBA.
Ask around till you find that person, and get their thoughts on where you should go for yours.
Guitar lessons you can easily do online.
Or better yet, GO OUT AND BUY A GUITAR and then ask the salesperson who they would recommend.
It’s time to accept you are underpaid.
And therefore time for a payrise.
I find it works about the same as asking for a promotion. Make a list of all everything you’ve achieved over the past year or 2, and it helps if you can find out what others earn.
If your manager is willing he/she might give you some more projects to work on. This is good, that way when you complete it they have no choice but to give you the pay increase.
But if they say no, then it’s time to negotiate.
- Don’t accept no for an answer
- Be patient
- Continue the conversation as calmly as possible
- Impress on your boss all your successes
- List your current responsibilities
- Mention your completed projects
- And find out the general salary on the street (only if higher than yours, don’t mention it if it’s lower)
- Be willing to compromise.
- You can offer to work more weekends to prove your dedication to the company, or vice versa, if they offer to pay for travel expenses or something similar, then it’s as good as getting a pay rise as you’ll still have extra money in your pocket.
Read Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Christopher Voss.
It’s one of the best books on negotiation I’ve ever read.
I’ve negotiated the most random concessions out of companies and people using these techniques, all which in the end had real monetary value for me.
Buying a House
I can’t lie, unless you are a hedge fund baby, you’re going need to start saving some money every month.
Hero’s don’t wait for permission. So grab the bull by the horns, and start socking money away whenever you can and as much as you can.
The sooner you start the easier it will become, and the BETTER it will be for you thanks to Compound Interest.
Compound interest is when you earn interest on last year’s interest.
Over 10 years it can make a massive difference.
The same goes for credit cards, but not in your favour. Interest on interest you haven’t paid is like burning banknotes for fun, except no-one actually thinks it’s fun.
In my opinion, you should be buying your first house by the age of 30. Even if you think the market is overpriced, start saving money, because luck happens when preparedness meets opportunity.
The point is, get your budget together and start saving money.
- Have a look at starter homes for first time buyers in your area so you can get an idea of prices
- Make a budget
- List your income
- List all your expenses
- List everything that you spend money on that are luxuries (I hate to be one of THOSE people but 5 Starbucks lattes a day is not a good investment)
- Figure out what you can give up each month
- How much can you then save a month
The math works like this:
- You can save $100 per month
- You need $20,000 to put down on a deposit for a house
- That means you have to save for 200 months, which is 16+ years.
- You want to buy a house in 5 years, so 12 months x 5 = 60 months of saving
- The deposit will be $20,000.
- So you need to save $334 per month
Round the World Trip
Be honest now, it’s on your bucket list isn’t it!
Here’s the good news that most employees don’t know, because they don’t read the employee handbook properly.
Most companies offer some sort of unpaid leave where you can take a career break without having to quit your job.
Meaning that as long as you have saved enough money for expenses while you travel, your job will still be there when you get back.
Check with your HR department, then have a conversation with your manager.
Find out what they would be willing to agree with.
It might be that they can’t do without you this year, but if you wait 12 months after that big project has finished, they would be willing to let you take 3 months off.
Become Your Best Self
I’ve left this one for last as it’s a bit vague.
But the truth is that success in life requires you to TAKE SOME FORM OF ACTION.
For many that action is too scary.
We lack self confidence or self-esteem for so many reasons, so to take that next step can be daunting and scary.
So it’s time to start working on yourself.
Learn more about confidence, build new habits that set you up for success, and start working on acquiring the skills you might need to build the future you want.
You are still delaying taking action, but at least you are taking small steps in the right direction.
The point is to START!
Every journey begins with a small step.
Define your dream life.
Identify small steps you can take towards it.
Take MASSIVE action.
Dive in head first and learn to swim with the sharks.
It’s your choice.
But I promise you, on your deathbed you will wish you had at least tried.
Don’t be the boring grandparent!
Be the grandparent with the great stories to tell!
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this post about becoming your own hero, then you’ll love this post on How to Be a Conqueror.
7 SIMPLE TIPS TO ENTER ANY JOB INTERVIEW WITH CONFIDENCE
When you’ve finally made it past the phone interviews and you’ve scheduled your first sit-down, you can breathe a sigh of relief. After the initial excitement has passed, however, another feeling might start to creep in – anxiety. Even if you are the most qualified person for the job, an in-person interview can still be a nerve-wracking experience.
Putting yourself out there is never easy, but it can be particularly difficult in a professional setting when it feels like your entire work history is being evaluated. It’s normal to be a little stressed about a job interview, but it doesn’t have to become overwhelming. Doing a little prep work ahead of time can calm your nerves and help you step into your interview with confidence.
BEST CONFIDENCE TIPS FOR INTERVIEWS
1. Do Your Research Ahead of Time
By now you’ve probably submitted dozens of applications, maybe even hundreds. Take a moment to celebrate the fact that you’ve been granted an interview, but then it’s time to buckle down. Do your homework and research the company as well as the industry so you can form a deeper understanding of the position you’re applying for and your potential role. Many interviewers like to ask what the interviewee knows about the company, so this research is very important.
The easiest way to find information about a company is to visit the website. Review the company’s history, mission statement, and key members then take a look at their blog, if they have one. Check the news section of the website as well to learn about recent successes and innovations you can bring up in the interview to show you’ve done your research. Showing an interest in the company itself and not just the job will impress your interviewers and help them remember you above other candidates.
In addition to researching the company, you should also see what you can find out about your interviewers. At the very least, try to find out who will be interviewing you along with their names and titles so you can put a face with a name when you come in for the interview.
2. Jot Down Some Quick Notes
As you’re researching the company, jot down some quick notes on a cheat sheet. You can keep a longer sheet of notes with the major details, but it’s a good idea to have a smaller note sheet you can take with you on the day of the interview for last-minute preparation.
During your interview, it’s important to be engaged with your interviewers. You don’t want your head to be buried in your notes, but it doesn’t hurt to write down a few key details to jog your memory and to keep you on track. The name of the company as well as the names and titles of your interviewers are important to include, and you may also want to jot down some highlights from your resume or cover letter that uniquely qualifies you for the position.
Something else you should include in your note sheet, or at least think about ahead of time, is the questions you want to ask your interviewers after the interview. Asking an intelligent question about the company or the position shows your interest. It’s also an opportunity for you to determine that the company and the position are the right fit for you, not just that you’re qualified for the position.
3. Prepare Answers to Common Questions
As you prepare for your interview, you want to learn what you can about the company. Once you step into the interview, however, the focus shifts to you. It becomes your interviewer’s job to determine whether you’re the right fit for the position and your job to show that you are.
Every interview is different, depending on the company and the industry, but there are some common questions almost every interviewer asks. Many interviews start with the dreaded phrase, “Tell me about yourself.” This may not sound like a question, but it’s still an important tool for interviewers to glean valuable information about you and it’s your first opportunity to shine.
It’s okay to share a few personal details about your life but try to keep things relevant to your work experience and your interest in the position. Talk a little about your current role and your successes in the position then segue into why you’re looking for a new position and what brought you to this company. This is a great place to work in some of the details you learned during your research about the company, especially if you can use it to highlight key points from your resume.
You don’t need to memorize your answer to this and other common interview questions but thinking about it ahead of time will help you formulate a more coherent response in the moment.
Here are some other common interview questions you may want to prepare for:
- What are your biggest strengths and/or weaknesses?
- What makes you a good fit for this position?
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
- How do you deal with stress or conflict?
- Why do you want to leave your current company?
As much as you practice your answers to these questions, your response may come out entirely different on the day of your interview. If there’s an important detail you don’t want to leave out, write it down on your cheat sheet.
4. Get Ready the Day Before
Once your cheat sheet is ready, it’s time to plan the other details for the day of your interview. Print five copies of your resume as well as copies of your references and put them in folders for easy distribution. If you know how many people will be interviewing you, you can make one copy for each with an extra. Don’t forget to include one for yourself!
Next, think about your interview outfit. Choose something professional that fits well. Even if the company’s culture is very laid back, you still want to dress professionally to show you’re taking the opportunity seriously. Make sure your clothes are clean and pressed – you should try them on just to make sure there won’t be any surprises on interview day.
Don’t forget to think about your shoes! Choose something appropriate and comfortable – you should be prepared to do some walking in case your interviewer decides to take you on a tour of the office.
Related: The Self-Confidence Formula
5. Arrive 10 to 15 Minutes Early
Nothing looks worse than showing up late to an interview, so plan your commute to arrive at least 10 minutes early. If you’re unfamiliar with the location or the route, it doesn’t hurt to drive to the interview location earlier in the week just to make sure you know where you’re going. Be sure to factor in local traffic at the time of your interview as well.
When you arrive, take a few minutes to visit the restroom and check your outfit. Take a few deep breaths and review your note sheet so the information is fresh in your mind. While you’re waiting to be called, you may even want to review some of your answers to the common interview questions mentioned above. Above all else, just try to remain calm and positive about the opportunity before you.
If you find yourself becoming anxious, put the note sheet away and think about something else. Rather than rehearsing your prepared answers in your head, think more generally about what makes your skills and experience unique. Remind yourself why you’re a good fit for the position. After all, you’ve been chosen for an in-person interview, so your interviewers must have seen something they liked on your application!
6. Make a Good First Impression
You only get one chance to make a first impression and it starts from the moment you walk in the building. Preparing yourself ahead of time ensures that you’ll be able to walk in with confidence, but the way you present yourself still matters. Greet your interviewer with a smile and a strong handshake. Introduce yourself and pay attention when your interviewer gives you their name – you’ll want to use it later to show you were paying attention and that you take the interview seriously.
Even if you’re feeling nervous, try to slow your mind down and focus on what’s in front of you. Take the interview one question at a time and don’t rush through your answers – don’t be afraid to take a moment to gather your thoughts before you answer! A well-formed response is always better than a jumbled one. Keeping a cool head under pressure will impress your interviewers.
7. Ask About Next Steps
Don’t be in a rush to leave when the interview comes to a close. Just because your interviewers are finished asking questions doesn’t mean the interview is over – there’s one final step you shouldn’t skip. Ask about next steps and follow up after you leave. Asking about the next step in the process will reinforce your interest in the position and give you a general timeline of what to expect moving forward.
Once you’ve left the interview, be sure to follow up within 24 hours. Send a thank-you note to the interviewers showing your appreciation for their time and reiterating your interest in the position. This is the perfect time to mention any details you may have forgotten to include during your interview as well. If you interviewed with multiple people from the company, send each one a personal email.
Bonus Confidence Tip For Interviews
Alright, here’s one last and final confidence tip to help you ace your next interview. This last tip should be done before your interview even takes place. And for best results, you should employ them the day before, the day of, and just before the interview.
So, what’s the bonus tip? Affirmations. Conducting affirmations for interviews is one of the powerful things you can do to add a level of presence, and aura that most of your competition won’t have. It may sound simple, but affirmations for job interviews can give you a serious advantage, so long as you’ve employed all the other confidence tips too.
So, do yourself a favor, and use these powerful confidence affirmations before your next job interview, and you’ll stand out from the crowd guaranteed.
From the moment you walk into the office to that final handshake, your nerves are probably going to be on high alert. You can’t completely squash the stress of an in-person interview, but there are simple things you can do to keep yourself calm. By doing some research and prep work ahead of time, you can walk into your interview with confidence, ready to show your interviewers who you are and why you’re the best candidate for the position.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed these confidence tips for interviews, then you’ll love this powerful resource that will without a doubt help you build confidence in yourself for any situation.
14 BEST CONFIDENCE HACKS TO HELP YOU FEEL CONFIDENT FAST
Too many people these days give away their power to achieve and progress in life because of a simple lack of confidence in themselves. They second guess themselves, feel unworthy, and never take action to get what they want in life. And in so doing, they end up leading an average life, a life likely to be plagued by mediocrity. But, this doesn’t have to be the case. Not for you, or any one, not any more. Especially if you put these life hacks for building confidence to use right away.
Without a doubt, confidence is a critical personal power. With it, almost all things are possible. Without it, well, life will inevitably be a struggle.
Chances are, you’ve lived a good chunk of your life feeling less confident than you you’d like. Chances are you’ve already missed out on some major opportunities in your life, opportunities to make more money, have a better job, or dating that ideal partner you’ve envisioned yourself having all because you didn’t have the confidence to do what you knew you should have. Unfortunately, you can’t change the past, but there is still hope, because the clock is still ticking.
So, be sure to take advantage of this list of confidence hacks. They can help you build the confidence you’ll need to change the trajectory of your life. But don’t wait too long to employ them, because your opportunities in life are limited by time, and time waits for no one.
BEST CONFIDENCE HACKS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE FAST
1. Reprogram Yourself
I know, the initial thought of reprogramming yourself sounds a bit “out there”. But you know what, that’s what you have to do. There are two messages you can believe in this world. The messages that the outside world would have you believe, or the messages that you would have yourself believe.
You see, confidence, in essence is a deep and unshakable belief in yourself. And when you finally convince yourself that you can accomplish a thing, or deserve a thing, you exponentially increase your odds of obtaining that which you desire. And the best way to do this, is to program you internal script with affirmations.
In short, you have to force yourself to, well….believe in yourself and believe you are deserving of what you want for you life. Affirmations, used daily with sincerity and conviction will make a significant difference almost immediately, in how confident you are.
Related: Affirmations For Confidence
2. Set a Goal and Go For It
Building confidence comes naturally when you set goals for yourself. The conviction to achieve something can move someone to new heights in every aspect of their life. And when you get a goal, you give yourself a reason to make changes in yourself and in your life so you can achieve that goal.
And without a doubt, most goals will force you to become more. To reach the goal, you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone and take action. And action, experience, and activity is a prime breeding ground for the development of your confidence.
So, set a goal, go for it, and observe how quickly your confidence levels begin to sky-rocket.
3. Get Fit
Believe it or not, physical fitness helps create mental fitness. When you put forth the discipline to improve how you look, you’ll create a virtuous cycle of discipline and confidence that will help you gradually improve both as time goes on.
When you start to feel better on a physiological level, you’ll start to feel better on a psychological level. Truly, being fit can help you reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, give you increased energy, and improve your sense of well-being. On top of this, when you truly feel good about how you look, you’ll exude more confidence in many other areas of your life.
4. Take Time For Yourself
Every time you take time to get away from it all, and to just be alone with your thoughts, you help yourself get a clearer picture on “the happenings” of your life.
By gaining a bit of solitude for yourself, you drown out all the daily external noise that distracts you from who you are and what you want. So, when you take a moment to be alone to listen to your own thoughts, without external interruptions, you can dramatically improve you your self-awareness. And almost always, the person who has a better sense of self, will have stronger levels of presence, and with a that a stronger sense of confidence and self-esteem.
5. Practice Gratitude
When we practice expressing gratitude, we boost how we feel about ourselves. And when we become aware of the abundance we actually have in our lives, we give ourselves a confidence boost. Don’t just take my word for it though, check out this study conducted by the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology . Without a doubt, there is a link between practiced gratitude and high self-esteem.
So, get to it. Start practicing an attitude of gratitude today, and watch your confidence levels and appreciation levels rise together.
6. Stand Up Straight
Amy Cuddy, the famous TED speaker and professor once posited that there are scientific benefits of power posing to increase self-confidence. She does a good job explaining why in this video and her book.
But honestly, you don’t need to read her book to realize the truth for yourself. Next time you are out in public pay attention to how you are walking. Chances are you walk and sit with slight slouch. Notice how you feel when you are around people and when you maintain your slouched posture. But then do this; make it a priority to stand up or sit up straight when you are in the presence of people some time later, and notice how much different you feel when you do so.
If you do this, you will quickly realize how powerful your posture is in influencing your confidence levels. So forget that book, and just start standing up straight like a person who oozes out confidence, and you eventually will.
7. Take Cold Showers
This hack may sound a bit uncommon, but make no mistake about it, it is effective for building confidence. Here’s why. When you take a cold shower you initiate an anti-depressive effect within your body that stems from activating our sympathetic nervous system. When you do this, it increases the beta-endorphin and norepinephrine in your blood levels.
Which means that cold showers ultimately flood the mood-regulating areas of your brain with neurotransmitters and mood-boosting endorphins that improves how happy you feel.
And well, a happier you is a more confident you. So, give cold showers a try.
8. Quiet Your Mind
One of the best ways to quiet your mind is mediation. What’s meditation? Well, it is the practice of quieting your mind and disciplining your attention. And if you do it correctly, it can silence the hyperactive thoughts that keep you anxious and less confident.
Now, meditation isn’t the only way to do this. You can also take long walks in nature, on the beach, around the block, it doesn’t really matter where. So long as you just give yourself a few minutes to focus on nothing but your thoughts.
So, give yourself a moment or two to settle your mind. Meditate or go for a walk, and you’ll be surprised with how much better it will help you feel about your day and yourself.
9. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
When we try something new, we force ourselves to get out of our comfort zones. And when we are out of our comfort zones, we allow ourselves the opportunity to experience the world in a new way. And believe it or not, a slight adjustment to our perspectives can make a big difference in our confidence levels.
When we force ourselves out of our normal routines, we open up the opportunity for new and exciting experiences that can supercharge our energy and level up our confidence.
So get out there and do something new. Force yourself to get our of your comfort zone, and your confidence in yourself and in your new novel world will compound dramatically.
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore RooseveltTweet Quote
10. Embrace Spontaneity
Many of us operate our daily lives by following a routine. We do most of our daily activities in an almost mechanized way because it feels safe, familiar, and we feel it makes life a bit easier for us. Which it does.
However, if you are seeking to gain more confidence, you’ll need to be okay with things getting a little hard at first. You have to be okay mixing things up.
When we force ourselves to be spontaneous, we stretch ourselves. We allow ourselves to be open to potential discomfort, and the uncertainty of the unknown. Being spontaneous exposes us to scenarios that we don’t have an easy script to rely on that can get us through the event in ease. As such, embracing spontaneity forces you to adapt.
The great news, is that after you flex you spontaneous muscles a few times, you will eventually trust that you can handle the uncertainty of any scenario, regardless of how well you prepared for it.
Spontaneity… embrace it fully, and you’re confidence will soar.
11. Practice, Practice, Practice
Often times we lack confidence because we feel we aren’t prepared enough to do a thing well. The good news, conquering such feelings of anxiety is simple so long as you put in the time to practice what you fear you won’t be good at.
In other words, if you do your best to learn everything about a subject, job, event, or whatever it is that you feel less than confident to accomplish, you will set yourself up to be more confident in its execution when you practice it.
When you over-prepare, there is no way you can’t be unprepared. And with those feelings of having all your i’s dotted and t’s crossed, your self-confidence will skyrocket.
“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur AsheTweet Quote
12. Give Your Best, Always
Building confidence is easy when you always give your best. When you give something all you’ve got, when you’ve done your very best at the task at hand, you leave no room for a lack of confidence.
In fact, when you constantly give full effort in the things you do, you will actually build confidence. Here’s why. Firstly, you’ll end up doing great work, and great work gets noticed and people will let you know. And their affirmations will build your confidence.
In addition to this, when you’ve put everything out there, when you’ve giving something all you’ve got, you can’t, nor should you ever feel bad about the result. In fact, it’s hard to feel upset with yourself when you’ve done your best. So, if you fail at a thing, but you gave it your up most, you can oddly, give yourself a confidence boost. You’ll be self-assured that whatever it was you attempted wasn’t meant to be. And this will give you the confidence to either try it again from a different angle, or try something completely different.
Full effort is full victory! Live this philosophy, and you’ll create the strong foundations that your confidence will come to rest on.
13. Walk Faster
This confidence hack may seem strange to some, but it’s a powerful tactic that works. Success scholar David Schwartz P.h.D, and author of The Magic of Thinking Big speaks highly of using this tactic.
In his book, he suggests that by walking with purpose, which leads to walking a little faster, typically leads to a person feel stronger and better about themselves. So, if you have any doubts about this confidence hack, then give it shot, as you have nothing to lose, and lots of confidence to gain.
14. Study Confidence
Too many people falsely believe that confidence is something you are born with. But, this isn’t the case. People, over time learn how to become confidence due to a mixture of accidental and intentional learning experiences.
The accidental learning experiences come from wins a person may have had in their lives overtime that taught them they were capable, and able to do a thing well. As such, they gained confidence in their abilities from their person experiences (PE) which often times cascades wonderfully into all other areas of their lives.
Then there is intentional learning experiences. Many people have understood that they had shortcomings in a particular area, but decided to learn how to overcome such shortcomings through study. They learned not through their own experiences, but rather, through other people’s experiences (OPE). And the best known way to learn form other people’s experience, is through study. Like reading books on confidence, or watching videos, or learning from a helpful confidence article like the one you are reading now.
So, if you want start building confidence, there’s no better way than through self-study. So, get to it, start here.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von GoetheTweet Quote
Final Thoughts on Building Confidence
You can have it all. You can take your life back and start living an above average life today. But, you’ll have to put forth the effort to hone your confidence first.
A wise man once said… “If you will change, everything will change for you.” I believed it then…and I believe it even more today, and so should you.
So, start building your confidence today, and everything will change for you.
Till next time,
PS – If you’re serious about building confidence fast, so you can start living like a lion, and not a lamb, this is the one book you must read!
10 SIMPLE TRICKS TO BECOME A MORE CONFIDENT PERSON
We are all born with a blank slate. No one is born with fear or courage. If you have children around you, you must have noticed how fearless they are. They do whatever they want in front of anyone without being mindful. As children grow up, they start fearing to attempt new things or avoid doing things without the approval of the people around them.
This behavior or learned response becomes a strong habit in adulthood. Today, the majority of people are afraid of trying new things due to the fear of failure or lack of approval. These people can’t make decisions on their own until everyone agrees to it. These are the signs of a person with low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem cannot succeed in our competitive world today.
The Main Cause of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is mainly caused by love withheld. This is where parents withhold their love because a child has done something wrong. For instance, a child who doesn’t know what fire is will naturally want to touch or feel it. When a parent shouts, scolds or punishes the child for being too close to the fire, the child starts developing the fear of trying out new things.
Parents do this to their children repeatedly to have control over them because children cannot survive without love. They need to be showered with love constantly. And they’ll do everything they can to get the love back.
Children who are brought up by parents with high self-esteem exude confidence in everything they do even in adulthood. To raise confident children, you’ll have to praise, reward, encourage and correct them in the right away.
Like most of us, if you were brought up by negative or critical parents, what can you do to regain your confidence? Today, we are going to discuss ten proven tricks that will help you become a confident person. Before that, you need to forgive your parents. There’s nothing you could do to change how they brought you up. They did their best and gave you all the love they had.
You can only progress in life after you’ve forgiven all the people that wronged you in the past including yourself. Remember, you are not forgiving them for their sake but your sake. Forgiveness is a 100% personal act. How do you know that you’ve forgiven someone? It’s when you hear their name and you don’t react both inwardly and outwardly.
BEST WAYS TO BECOME A MORE CONFIDENT PERSON
1. Set Clear Goals
All successful people are confident people. And the majority of them have clear written goals. Goals give you purpose. They motivate you during the good and bad times. They enable you to visualize how you’ll be in the future. Remember you cannot target what you can’t see. The majority of adults today don’t have clear written goals. They coast through life hoping for something miraculous to happen to them.
When you set goals, you start realizing that the universe is on your side ready to bring to you what you desire. When you achieve your first goal, you’ll be motivated to achieve the next one. Apart from that, you’ll boost your self-confidence in the long run.
So, how do you set goals? First, you have to write down all your goals. Goals that are not in writing are like smoke. They can’t help you in any way. Your goals should also have deadlines. Once you’ve set clear goals, do something that moves you toward your goals every day. Be ready to pay the price.
2. Use Affirmations
Affirmations are strong statements that help you install a set of desired beliefs. You’ll always treat yourself the way you see yourself. If you think of yourself as a happy and important person, you’ll indulge in high-value activities most of the time. On the other hand, if you see yourself as a less important person, you’ll indulge in low priority activities. In short, how you see yourself matters a lot.
Affirmations are positive and inspiring statements that you say to yourself to improve your self-image. Since we usually believe what we say to ourselves in the long run, affirmations will enable you to make quick progress.
The best way to use affirmations is by repeating the statement aloud in front of a mirror. For instance, if you don’t like your physical appearance, you can look for something that you appreciate when you look at yourself in the mirror.
You can also repeat the statement, “I like myself” over and over again throughout the day. Some of the most successful people repeat this statement fifty to one hundred times in a day.
Related: Affirmations For Confidence
3. Stop Postponing
The more you postpone doing the most important tasks o activities, the more you feed your fears and doubts. Postponing important activities weakens you over time until you start thinking of yourself as a loser. In most cases, we postpone high-value activities to indulge in low-value activities.
For instance, we postpone calling new clients and making the sale to chat with our friends or take coffee breaks. We postpone booking a gym membership to rush home and watch our favorite TV show. The more we try doing the right thing, the harder it becomes.
How do you deal with this issue? You have to start procrastinating positively. Postpone chatting with your friends. Postpone watching that TV show. Postpone going for long coffee and lunch breaks. Get into the habit of doing things on the spot. Call your clients now. Book your gym membership now. Approach the love of your life now. Remember, what gets postponed gets lost.
The more you get into the habit of doing important things now, the easier it will be to achieve your goals. Instead of saying “I should do XYZ”, start saying, “I could do XYZ”. Do you see the difference? In the first statement, you are forcing yourself to do something while in the second statement, you put yourself in a position of power.
4. Improve Yourself
For your life to change, you have to change. You have to work on yourself daily to become a confident person. To improve your results in any area be it work, health, finances or at home, you have to improve yourself.
Your outer world will always reflect your inner world. Therefore, to change your outer world, you’ll have to change your inner world. And you can only change your inner world by improving yourself regularly. How do you improve yourself?
Successful people read books for at least thirty minutes every day. They attend conferences and seminars regularly. They listen to audiobooks while driving around. And they associate with like-minded people most of the time.
Reading to the mind is like exercise to the body. As the saying goes, the more you learn, the more you earn. When everything around you improves but you fail to improve, you’ll get back to where you started. For instance, you’ve seen people winning loads of cash in lotteries only to lose it all a few years later.
To become a confident, happy and cheerful person, you’ll have to improve who you are by reading books on self-confidence, attending seminars and associating with like-minded people. Success is not an accident and so is failure.
5. Prepare in Advance
Most of the time, we feel insecure due to lack of preparation. And when you start doubting yourself, you increase your chances of failing. The majority of the most important activities or tasks need adequate preparation. For instance, doing a presentation or going for a job interview. You’ll feel confident when performing the task and people around you will feel what you are exuding.
Remember, preparation is all about setting your mind to the task ahead. Don’t fall into the trap of being a perfectionist. There’ll always be room for improvement no matter how well you prepare or do something. Perfectionism leads to procrastination. And procrastination leads to low self-esteem.
6. Journal Regularly
Journaling is all about writing down your thoughts and emotions. Confident people have several journals that they review regularly to see how much they’ve progressed. You need to have a journal too. Writing down your thoughts and emotions helps you understand yourself better. You also get an opportunity to discover why you feel the way you do.
According to psychologists, the majority of patients recover from stress, anxiety, and frustration by simply writing down their thoughts and emotions daily. You can become a confident and cheerful person by finding time to record your thoughts and emotions.
By doing this, you’ll eliminate the thought processes that create negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, fear, and doubt to name a few. Also, reviewing you’re your journal regularly will help you see how you’ve progressed and this will motivate you to keep on keeping on.
Related: Benefits of Journaling
7. Help Other People
Helping other people will enable you to stop focusing on yourself and show gratitude for what you have. When you listen to and help other people, you’ll quickly realize how better off you are. The majority of people have gone through worse conditions than you. Some of them grew up without parents. Others were immigrants who started with nothing.
You’ll also feel happy changing someone else’s life for the better. You should consider volunteering or teaching other people what you know. When you share, your level of self-confidence will automatically grow. Don’t look down on yourself. You are a role model to some people.
8. Care For Yourself
No one will care about you more than they care about themselves. It’s not selfishness but a rule of nature. You can always tell this by looking at the time you spend thinking about yourself. The majority of people spend 90% of their time thinking about themselves and only 10% thinking about others.
To boost your self-esteem, you have to care for yourself. Exercise regularly, eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, surround yourself with great people and take some time off to relax. Remember, your level of self-confidence depends on how you see yourself. When you treat yourself well, your level of self-confidence will automatically rise.
9. Learn to Say No
Do not allow yourself to suffer in silence or become a victim. No one can control your life unless you give them this power. To avoid being the victim or being a slave to another person, learn to say no. It’s not easy but it will be worthwhile in the long run.
Remember, the more control you have over your life, the more confident you’ll become. When you start saying no, other people will begin respecting you and your decisions. You’ll pick up on this respect and in turn will feel more self-assured.
10. Be Yourself
You are a unique and wonderful person. Why would you try to be like someone else? Statistics show that people with low self-esteem see others as better off than themselves. The truth is no one is smarter or better than you. They are just doing things differently from you.
Accept yourself the way you are and start doing what other confident people are doing. As the saying goes, success leaves tracks. By shifting your mentality, you’ll boost your self-confidence.
Related: Be Confident In Your Body
Final Thoughts on Becoming a Confident Person
No one is born with confidence. In most cases, we have to work at it gradually by changing our thought processes and habits. Now is the time to face your fears and take back control of your life. Set clear goals with deadlines, continuously improve yourself, help others, set clear boundaries and most importantly, accept yourself the way you are with all your strengths and limitations. By doing this, not only will you boost your level of self-confidence but you’ll also achieve 90% of your goals in life .
Till next time,
PS – One of the best ways to become a more confident person and unleash your inner extrovert is to leverage these strategies for methodically build confidence in yourself.
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