Self-confidence is a key component of success. In fact, the lack of self-confidence is something many people point to when they feel like they aren’t succeeding in their relationships, career, or at life in general. It’s for this reason that I felt compelled to create this particular post on self confidence books.

Because let’s admit it.  At one time or another we’ve all blamed ourselves and our lack of confidence for why something didn’t go as planned in our life.

It could have been that date that didn’t go so well, the botched job interview, or even that business deal that fell through.  Whatever the case may be, most of the time it was a lack of confidence that was the culprit.

We say to ourselves, “I just don’t have enough confidence.” But that’s not true. 

It’s not true, because confidence is not something we have, rather, it is something we create. So, a better way to phrase our challenges with confidence would be, “I just can’t create enough confidence right now.” Here’s why…

CONFIDENCE IS A CHOICE

Confidence is a state of mind, a feeling, and a way of being that can be created at will. So, in a way, it’s a choice.

When you come to understand this, you’ll be able to turn on your confidence at a moment’s notice.  And when you know how to do this, you’ll start finding more of the success you seek.

Now I can tell you this truth over and over again until I am blue in the face, but, it will never be real to you until you’ve deeply ingrained this fact into your own mind.

And the best way to ingrain this fact into your own mind, is to become a student of confidence. Now you don’t have to sign up for college courses to become a student of confidence.

To become a student of confidence all you have to do is… read.  You must read and study books on the subject of confidence.

Simple right?  So where should you start?

Start Here

Start with this list.  I’ve pulled together a list of the best books on building self-confidence that I’ve ever come across.  No doubt, there are hundreds of books on confidence, but let’s be honest, who (aside from Ph.D. students) has the time to read hundreds of books on a single topic?

Exactly, hardly anyone!

So, if you want to master confidence and improve your self-esteem,  just read a handful of the following books recommended on confidence and you should be good to go.  You don’t have to read hundreds of books on confidence to learn the fundamentals.  Trust me, this handful of books will do the trick.

Every book provides something different, yet, every single one also confirms what I just said…

Which is, that how confident you become is completely up to you, because confidence is all in your head. So, behold the 20 books you must read if you ever wish to master self-confidence:

BEST BOOKS ON CONFIDENCE

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1. Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway

‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ is a classic book by the late Dr. Susan Jeffers.  In this book, Susan Jeffers offers up solid advice for overcoming the paralysis and inaction that stems from being fearful and lacking confidence.  Susan Jeffers pulls her knowledge from many years of research, and lecturing on the topic of transforming fear, indecision, and even anger into power, action, and extreme confidence.

The book contains a handful of practical insights and exercises that you can immediately implement to help you come to the realization that confidence is something to be nurtured and cultivated, much like a muscle.

This book is both an eye-opener and a solid book to begin with on your journey towards building your confidence. So, if you’re in need a book that can deliver a solid dose of boldness, read this book.

2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Fear, doubt, and worry can be debilitating.  Possessing just one of these problems can indeed stop the best of us from reaching the heights of success we seek.

How so?  Because fear and doubt kills self-confidence. And a lack of self-confidence kills action. And if success demands anything, it demands that we have enough self-confidence to take appropriate action.

That said, this book is comprised of many recipes Mr. Carnegie pulled together from night classes he would teach to adult students on how to overcome worry so they can get busy living.

‘How to Start Worrying and Start Living’ is a cure for anyone who wishes to eliminate the debilitating effects of fear and worry from their lives, so they fortify their confidence and get on with succeeding in their life.

3. Unstoppable Confidence

This book touches on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to help you get out of your comfort zone and master your self-confidence.    If you are unfamiliar with NLP, it is basically a scientific approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy that delivers practical ways in which you can change the way you think, view past events, and approach your life.

NLP is huge in sales world, as it is needed by many to fortify their minds against constant rejection.

Much of this book uses ideas and concepts that Tony Robbins suggests for improving self-confidence, and they’ll work for you too.  ‘Unstoppable Confidence’ can teach you how to harness confidence levels that will make you, well…unstoppable.

4. Think and Grow Rich

‘Think and Grow Rich’ is so much more than a confidence book, it is a success book.  However, the author, Napoleon Hill, understood that success requires a strong foundation built on self-confidence.

As such, the book provides a handful of potent insights and formulas that can help you gain the confidence you’ll need to start growing more successful, and yes even richer in your life.

This book is a must read for every person.  If you practice his self-confidence formula alone, you can dramatically improve your confidence in no time at all.

5. How to Talk to Anyone

Many people are confident in just about everything they do.  But for some people, when it comes to talking to people, they clam up, get anxious, and come across as less than self-assured.

If you’ve ever felt a lack of confidence when communicating with colleagues, strangers, or the opposite sex, this book can help you with crushing those feelings of uncertainty. Not only does this book educate on the nuances of confidence, but it gives you practical and effective tactics that you can employ immediately that will make you appear poised and self-assured, even if you’re not 100% there mentally. In other words, this book will help you fake it till you make it.

Having confidence when speaking with people is one of the most important skills you could acquire for successfully navigating your way to the top of your career.  So, if you know your confidence lacks in the ‘people department’ then you must read this book.

6. The Magic of Thinking Big

David Schwartz Ph.D. has created a masterful book with ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, which is why over 6 million copies of the book have been sold.

In this book, Dr. Schwartz touches on many key areas that we all need to improve on to start succeeding in life.  Much of the book revolves around improving how you think about situations, people, and your future.  It deals with how to improve you attitude and perspectives, which in turn will help you to start taking the action necessary to reach your BIG goals.

Chapters 3 ‘Build Confidence and Destroy Fear’, Chapter 10 ‘Get the Action Habit’, Chapter 11 ‘How to Turn Defeat into Victory’, and Chapter 13 ‘How to Think Like a Leader’ are the most effective chapters for building your self-confidence.

All in all, this is one of my favorite self confidence books, and its probably the one confidence building book you can’t afford to miss.

7. How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking

Dale Carnegie has created the perfect toolset for helping people dial into their confidence at will.  This book contains multiple confidence boosting tips that will help you acquire poise, increase your memory, improve the delivery of your message, and appear more charming to everyone you interact with.

This book was created to teach people how to overcome their fears of public speaking; however, the strategies he provides to help you increase your confidence to speak in front of large audiences can also be applied towards overcoming other confidence issues in other areas of your life.

How you ask?  Because when you master public speaking, you simultaneously wipe out your timidity and gain the courage and assurance to deal with people.  In short, confidence gained in one department will help you gain the confidence you may need in others.

8. You Are a Badass

‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero, is not specifically geared towards improving confidence; however, it covers a wide range of self-improvement topics that when combined, can help you strengthen your over all sense of self, and with that, your confidence.

Within the book there is a chapter specifically for confidence, titled, ‘Fear Is For Suckers’.  This chapter provides some great perspectives on fear and confidence that can help you significantly boost your confidence.

9. Presence

Amy Cuddy is the famous TED talk professor who first acquainted us with power poses and using our physiology to increase our confidence levels.

Well, she helps deliver a similar message in this book, and she does it with detail and backs it all up with solid research.

When you read this book, be prepared to learn about the power of your personal story, how to overcome impostor syndrome, and how to utilize you posture to level up your confidence.

As a student of confidence, this is one book you won’t want to miss.

10. The Confidence Gap

This book is a great confidence book to compliment the others already mentioned.  This book does what it says, it fills the confidence gap.

How does it do this?  Well, it does this by giving the readers a different perspective on dealing with their confidence or lack thereof.  Russ Harris offers a novel solution to confidence by encouraging you to form a different relationship with your confidence, instead of trying to force yourself to overcome your confidence limitations.

In this book you will learn about the power of mindfulness and some techniques for keeping your negative thoughts and feelings at bay so your confidence levels can soar.

This book is certainly worth the read and it will truly help fill some of the confidence gaps we all face.

11. The Power of Self-Confidence

Brian Tracy is a seasoned sales/business guru who knows a thing or two about success.  Truth is, it is hard to lose with Brian Tracy in your corner.  He’s pushed out countless resources ranging from self-discipline, to time-management, to self-confidence.

And in just about all of his resources, you’ll hear him mention the importance of your inner-game, of your mindset and how you feel about yourself.

Without a doubt, this book will help you understand why it is so essential to have faith in your abilities and believe in yourself.

Read this book and build the unshakable confidence you know deep down in your heart you are capable of wielding.

12. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence

Comfort is the kiss of death to success.  And in this book, you will learn why.

As such, you’ll find plenty of admonishments in this book to step outside of your comfort zone, and in so doing, dramatically strengthen your confidence levels.

If you are okay with real-talk, truth, and zero punches being pulled, you will enjoy this book.  Beware though, this is not a PG book.  It will speak to you as an adult, so be prepared for a good push.

13. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

This book will wake you up to what true confidence is all about.  Author, Nathaniel Branden provides firm answers to questions we all have related to our confidence and self-esteem.

If you’re looking for answers, you’ll find them here.  You’ll learn what self-esteem really is, you’ll learn why it is so important to cultivate it, how you can increase your own self-esteem levels, and what role our external environment (other people) plays in our confidence levels.

Without a doubt, you’ll be sure to find many ‘Aha!’ moments in this book, and a solid foundation to building up your self-esteem, and with it, your confidence.

Related: Become an Extrovert, Even If Shy

14. Unleash The Warrior Within

‘Unleash The Warrior Within’ is authored by former Navy SEAL Richard Machowicz.  And as you’d suspect, he provides tons of confidence boosting strategies that he acquired from his time in the military.

Richard has you break down your fears into smaller, bite sized components, making them much easier to attack.  He also spends time educating his readers on the importance of mindset.

As a fan of the warrior ethos, I enjoy how the author combats those areas of our lives that can hold us back and keep us from doing what we need to do most to achieve our goals.   If you want more confidence, read this book, you can’t go wrong.

15. Psycho-Cybernetics

Don’t let the name of this book scare you.  It may sound daunting and super scientific, but rest assured that the material contained within it will be easy to digest and better yet, easy to implement towards building up your self-confidence.

The author of the book, Maxwell Maltz holds a Ph.D. and lays out his years of his experience and observation on how powerful our self-image is when it comes to helping us achieve the results we are after. 

You’ll learn about the power of perception, self-esteem, and how large a role our own self-image can play in our ability to achieve. In addition to this, you’ll learn some powerful strategies you can employ to immediately and positively impact your confidence levels. 

So, If you’re looking for a time tested book on confidence that is based in science, this is a book everyone should read.

16.  The Power of Positive Thinking

I know what your thinking, what does positive thinking have to do with Confidence.  But here me out.  This book, with out a doubt belongs in this selection of the best books on confidence because of the wisdom provided chapter after chapter by the late great Norman Vincent Peale specifically for helping its readers lead a more positive and confident life.

Now, just as a heads up, the wisdom provided in this great book does have religious undertones too them; however, this is exactly where much of the power of this book comes in to play.  So, if you are not religious, or don’t care for biblical references you can skip this book and read all the others, BUT, I assure you, you’ll be cutting yourself short if you do so.  If you’ve read all the confidence books in the world, and yet you still feel like you are coming up short in the confidence department, well then you’ll definitely want to invest in this book.  It WILL help your conquer your confidence and self-esteem challenges and instill in you the faith to conquer your internal/external fears.

17.  Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It

This is a great book to add to your library of books that can help you boost your confidence levels.  The premise of the books revolves around what negative self-talk is, why you should work to minimize the amount of it you do, and how to go about doing so.

It really is a great tool/book to consider for helping you build your confidence because of the important role our self-talk plays in how we feel about ourselves.  Essentially, lots of negative self-talk leads to feeling less confident and less negative self-talk essentially leads to feeling more confident.

As such, this is a worthy book to own to help you get a handle on your negative inner voice, and as a result, positively improve your confidence levels.

18. The 5 Second Rule

Mel Robbins brings a whole new definition to confidence in this book. She’ll help dispel the myth the confidence is merely a lack of belief in yourself, but rather, it’s the willingness or unwillingness to try.

Without a doubt, you’ll walk away from this book realizing that confidence is related to action. And you’ll begin to realize that confidence doesn’t start with belief, but rather, confidence starts with action. And since Mel’s book is primarily about action, we could not deny adding her book to our invaluable list of books on confidence.

So, use this book to push yourself to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.

19. Daring Greatly

Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly is the wake up call we all need. She doesn’t pull any punches and definitely tells it like it is in this book. Which is why it made the cut for our no B.S. list of self-confidence books. The biggest take away you’ll get from this book is that it is okay to be vulnerable. Her book provides a great combination of solid research and casual storytelling that will help you ease into being more being more vulnerable. And the more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the more confident you’ll become as you come to realize you can handle whatever it is life is happening to throw your way.

So, if you’re looking for a book to dare you to step outside of your comfort zone, to be bigger than your anxieties, and to get you living and leading more confidently, then this book is a must read.

20. Never Finished

This last book is not your typical confidence book. It doesn’t give you tips or strategies to specifically zero-in on your confidence. In fact, Goggins states it himself in the book, it’s not a self-help book. But, what this book does do, is it helps you reframe your thinking.

‘Never Finished’ provides insight after insight to help you see yourself in a different light. It also includes stories that demonstrate that you are more than you are, and that you can do more than you’ve done. All in all, the lessons within this book will improve your mental strength and ultimately help you become aware of your true potential.

So give this book a read if you’re serious about building up your confidence, because there’s nothing more confident than a mentally strong person who believes in their abilities and their limitless potential.

Bonus Confidence Resource

‘Go Fearless’ is a synthesis of the best confidence building strategies from many of the self confidence books just mentioned.  After going from outgoing and confident to feeling shy and withdrawn for many years, I set out to re-discover the confidence and fearlessness I had in my youth.  After learning how to bounce back into the outgoing and confident person I knew I was capable of being, I decided to share what I learned.

This resource does not waste your time with drawn out stories or background, it gives you exactly what you need to know, NOW, so you can get started on building your confidence ASAP.

If there were ever a shortcut to learning how to master self-confidence, this would be it.  It’s a confidence building tool, and a true call to action. And the best thing about it, is that it is FREE.

So, if you’re looking for a no B.S. guide to help you start living your life with confidence, go read this free resource and ‘Become Fearless’!  Your future self will thank you for it.

Final Words on These Self Confidence Books

There you have it, the 20 best books you can read to get started on mastering the one thing that can make all the difference in how much success you’ll find in your life; confidence.

After you’ve read these books for self-confidence, you’ll realize that having a sense of confidence is nothing but a sense of power within yourself, a sense of certainty that you can pull off just about anything.

Read this collection of the best books on confidence and you’ll surely gain the understanding and awareness that you actually have power to create a more confident you at any moment in time.

Till you reach your aims,

STRIVE

PS – If you’ve enjoyed this collection of confidence books, then you’ll most likely also enjoy this piece on ‘The 7 Ways to Gain Instant Confidence’.

Self-confidence; that highly desirable quality which all too often escapes our grasp.  When we see someone who has it, it’s hard to miss. When we possess it, all things seem limitless.  No doubt, through confidence we thrive.  Having confidence improves everything from our relationships to how high in life we feel we can climb.

But, when we lack it, we struggle.  Indeed, the absence of confidence can make us feel like we live in a bubble. The problem with confidence is people think it’s something we are born with, it’s not.  No, confidence is something people can build, it’s something that you can be taught.

Truth is, there is no secret to self-confidence, and anyone can wield it.  Introverted and reserved people can be confident, even those who are naturally quiet. The reason this is, is because confidence is a state of mind.  It’s something that can be turned on at any moment in time.

So, use these powerful quotes to boost your self-confidence.  Then, get out there and mix it up in the world, and trust in your new found providence.

BEST CONFIDENCE QUOTES TO BOOST YOUR SELF WORTH

1. “When you have confidence, you have a lot of fun.  And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” – Joe Namath

2. “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself. – Tony Robbins

3.  “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” –  Maxwell Maltz

4. “Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.” – Venus Williams

5. “All confidence is acquired, developed.  No one is born with confidence.” – David J. Schwartz

6. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

7. “Whatever you say, say it with conviction.” – Mark Twain

8. “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. – Thomas Carlyle

9. “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Petere T. Mcintyre

10. “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.”  –  Vince Lombardi

11. “Insist on yourself, never imitate.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

12. “Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.” – Brian Tracy

13. “We are what we believe we are.” – C.S. Lewis

14. “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” – Unknown

15. “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” – Jack Nicklaus

16. “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent Peale

17. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain

18. “You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

19. “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt

20. “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan

21. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

22. “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe

23. “Confidence is preparation.  Everything else is beyond your control.” – Richard Kline

24. “The man who achieves makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing.”  – Benjamin Franklin

25. “It’s a dead-end street if you sit around waiting for someone else to tell you you’re okay.” – Michael Pitt

26. “My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything, even if you have no clue what you are doing.” – Jessica Alba

27. “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

28 “Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.” – Richard Bach

29. “The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.” – Anon

30. “Insecurity kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Unknown

32.  “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” – Johnny Depp

33.  “People who want the most approval get the least and the people who need approval the least get the most.” – Wayne Dyer

34. “Confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage.” – Mel Robbins

35. “You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar

36. “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford

37. “To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” – Denis Waitley

38. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” – Andre Dubus

39. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

40. “Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – Rumi

41. “Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese proverb

42.  “The process of building self confidence is actually very easy. Self-confidence is self trust. Self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself… that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you.” – Ed Mylett

43. “The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.” – Francois De La Rochefoucauld

44. “Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

45. “Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel

46.  “Confidence is not holding back the deck of cards of your weaknesses. Confidence is a comfort with vulnerability.” – Brendon Burchard

47. “Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.” -George Herbert

48. “Confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a result of something … hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” – Roger Staubach

49.  “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

50. “With confidence, you have won before you have started.”  – Marcus Garvey

51.  “Self-confidence is the ability to exercise restraint in the face of disrespect and still show respect in response.” – Simon Sinek

52.  “Money can’t buy confidence. You become confident when you are disciplined and ethical.” – Grant Cardone

53.  “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

54. “Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess.” – Sabrina Carpenter

55. “No one will believe in you until you believe in you.” – Robin Sharma

56.  “If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” – Dale Carnegie

57. “Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” – Stan Smith

58. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

59. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I loved through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” – Eleanor Roosevelt

60. “Confidence is not ‘They will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be find if they don’t’.” – Christina Grimme

61. “If someone is judging you, that’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.” – Mel Robbins

62. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel

63. “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively

64. “Accept yourself, then others will.” – Self-Confidence Quote

65. “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey

66. “It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah Winfrey

67. “A great man is always willing to be little.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

68. “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu

69. “Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.” – Stewart Stafford

70. “Confidence is the willingness to try.” – Mel Robbins

71. “Confidence is not something you are born with, it is developed over time and through experiences.” – Atlas Rowe

72. “Self-esteem comes from achievements. Not from lack standards and false praise.” – Condoleezza Rice

73. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Baruch

74. “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” – Zen Shin

75. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

76. “Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” – Confidence quote

77. “If you believe in yourself and feel confident in yourself, you can do anything. I really believe that.” – Karlie Kloss

78. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” – Anonymous

79. “You don’t have to change who you are, you have to become more of who you are.” – Sally Hogshead

80. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

81. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

82. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

83. “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” – Nora Roberts

84. “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”  – Thomas Edison

85. “Confidence is believing in yourself. Arrogance is telling others you’re better than they are. Confidence inspires. Arrogance destroys.” – Simon Sinek

86. “The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.” – James Madison

87. “Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.” – Kanye West

88. “Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne W. Dyer

89. “If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  –  Henry David Thoreau

90. “People feed off of your passion and your confidence.” – Sara Blakely

91. “Accustom yourself to criticism. Confidence is important, but if it is not based on a realistic appraisal of who you are, it is mere grandiosity and smugness.” – Robert Greene

92. “Confidence is directness and courage in meeting the facts of life.”  – John Dewey

93. “Show me a self-confident person who also has humility and I will show you somebody with an amazing future.” – Ed Mylett

94. “Everything you need is within you, the strength, the courage and confidence to change your life. You just need to look within yourself and find it.” – Amanda Ray

95. “Confidence is built by doing the right things, not buying things.” – Grant Cardone

96. “Take a chance.  It’s the best way to test yourself.  Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard Branson

97.  “Don’t worry what others think of you, be confident and straightforward with decency and others will respect you.” – Lori Greiner

98. “You defeat defeatism with confidence.” – Vince Lombardi

99. “There’s confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level competition, whatever the sport it. Whether it’s boxing or wrestling, or whatever.” – Joe Rogan

100. “Confidence is the hand-maiden of success.” – Zig Ziglar

Bonus Self-Confidence Quote

Bonus: Alright, here’s our last and final quote on confidence. It’s one of our favorites and demonstrates why self-confidence starts with you are decision to be or not be confident.

“If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom Brady

Become Who You Can Be With These Confidence Quotes

There you have it, the top 100+ self-confidence quotes that have the power to boost your state of mind, and with it, your confidence.

Use these inspiring quotes to grow, and to move you forward…to leave that old less confident you, behind.

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed these confidence quotes then you’ll REALLY LOVE this post…. ‘How to Become an Extrovert Even if You’re Shy’.

Have you ever found yourself dreaming about someday speaking in front of large audiences, being the life of a party at a networking event, or working closely with teams of people to complete a big project; only to later think to yourself that perhaps this fanciful idea is unlikely because, well…you’re shy?

Want to Learn How to Become an Extrovert?

If this has happened to you there’s a good reason for it. Chances are you’ve experience this because you have introverted tendencies, but extroverted ambitions.

Say what?

Look, all I mean, is that you probably like to keep to yourself, you don’t really enjoy being in large group settings, you don’t fancy small talk, but, you do aspire to achieve big goals and grand achievements.  You know, the kind that seems to favor those with an outgoing and gregarious personality.

If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you are not alone. In fact, there are heaps of people who are in the same boat.  Thousands and thousands of people want to know how to overcome shyness too.  The great news is, your vision of success and ambitions don’t have to be put on hold just because you are an introvert.

I used to be an introvert.  I still am actually.  I’ve just found a way to camouflage my introverted inclinations.  Put another way, I’ve learned some interpersonal and social communication strategies that allow me to “cloak” my introversion.  I’ve learned how to become an extrovert.

And the great news is, anybody can do it. Including you!

The Outgoing Introvert

These days, most people would think me to be an extrovert.  I’ve been called gregarious, outgoing, social, and even the life of the party before.  If I were to believe what others have said about me, I would have to consider myself an extrovert.

But the truth is, I know myself, and I am far from it.  I have had my moments in the past where I’ve let loose and just let my guard/hair down.  You know, just going with flow and letting my voice be heard.  Of course, in most of those past instances, imbibing several alcoholic beverages was typically involved.

It was in those moments that I learned through the eyes of others, my ability to be an extrovert, even though I wasn’t one at heart.   I say this, because for the most part, I really am a low-key individual. 

I am the type of person who has no problem keeping to himself all day long, and getting lost in my work.  And typically, I still prefer to not attend large social events.  Networking is not much fun for me, and I still find myself avoiding group events (from time to time), especially if I can get away with it.

Fortunately, in the instance that I must “get social”, or when I must speak in front of large groups of people, I can now do it with ease and in a way where others actually suspect me to be some type of social-butterfly.

And quite astonishingly, zero ‘drinks’ are needed.

Learning to Become an Extrovert

If you’re wondering “Well, how is he able to do this?”  Let me first give you some background as to how I acquired such strategies.  Then I’ll give you some ways to help you do the same.

Years ago, I got fed up with my job working as an analyst for an engineering firm, and decided to jump into selling real estate.  If you know anything about analytics or engineering, you’re probably aware, that by and large, people in this profession are very reserved, analytical, and keen on staying out of the public eye.  In short, social is not their strong suite.

Similarly, real estate agents, or sales professionals in general are quite the opposite of the engineer or analytics professional.  They are outgoing, talkative, easy to be around, and bluntly put, social.

As a novice real estate agent who thrust himself into the deep waters of sales, with zero sales experience, and with the social inclinations of an engineer, one could say that drowning was imminent.

The Miracle of Action

Business was not booming, and my savings were taking a nose dive week by week for three months straight.  So, I did what any person in such a situation would do, I started to flail.  In my case, this flailing consisted of putting myself out there 10x more than I was already doing.

It consisted of reading a handful of books on communication, sales, psychology.  It also consisted of practicing, a concept that I had long forgotten since my days playing college football.  A concept that seemed quite foreign in a working world where the only time people seem to be concerned with their work, was from 9 to 5.

Miraculously, I found a way to transform myself into an extrovert when it mattered most.  And I ultimately became the type of person my goals needed me to be.

And now I want to share what I learned with you. So, to help you overcome shyness and become an extrovert, I’ve put together this short list of strategies that were the most useful in helping me make my transformation.

7 SIMPLE TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME AN EXTROVERT

 1. Put Yourself Out There

Really, one of the best things you can do to get out of your head and into the world, is to just put yourself out there.  When you constantly push yourself to do things in front of people, or force yourself to talk to others, even when you don’t want to, you’ll strengthen your ability to do more of it in the future.

Start small, by doing things that are on the edgy of your comfort zone. Then slowly move to activities that are just beyond it.

If you do this enough, it will eventually become a habit and you won’t have any problems showing up as an extrovert when the time arises.  Until you get to that point of course, the following steps will be helpful.

2. To Become an Extrovert, First Practice Being One

This may sound odd, but practicing the gift of gab is essential if you want to show up as a gifted communicator.  In short, when you practice chatting up someone, you are training yourself for a performance.

The benefits of this are two-fold.  First off, if you are practice anything, you will eventually get better.  So if you practice shooting the breeze with others, you will become more comfortable with it eventually.  Similarly, if you practice alone in front of a mirror, it will be as if you are preparing to perform. 

Much benefit can also be gleamed from mental practice as well.  Meaning, if habitually envision yourself chatting up others flawlessly, or speaking in front of people without a hitch, you’ll actually be prepared to do it well when opportunity arises.

This is where the second benefit of practice comes in.  Basically, if you can see your social interactions more as a performance, then it can make communicating to large groups or to others at social events much easier. 

The reason for this is because if you consider your communication as performing, then you don’t have to attach yourself to the outcome of the conversation or speech.   And by detaching yourself, you essentially get to protect your ego in the event you do get judged.

3. Make Confidence and Extroversion a Study

Reading up on ways to overcome shyness is essential to transforming yourself into an extrovert.  In fact, some of the books I read to get help me make my quick transformation included books such as Courage – The Art of Living Dangerously, The Magic of Thinking Big, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, How to Talk to Anyone, Real Magic, How to Talk on Your Feet, etc.

In using the Fearless Formula, you get distilled knowledge curated from over 20 + different experts on how to ‘come out of your shell’ and show up as an extrovert.

If you are shy, introverted, and need an action oriented tool to help you become an extrovert, then this is a great place to start your study of the subject.  And, then you’d be doing yourself an enormous favor by adding some of these excellent resources on confidence to your library as well.

4. Become an Active Listener

Oddly, this method is probably the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communication.  I learned this method from Dale Carnegie’s book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’.  When people feel they’re being sincerely listened to, they’ll associate positive qualities to the listener.

So in essence, when we listen carefully to what others are saying, and genuinely show interest in them, people will find us to be sociable and interesting as well.  Not only that, but by actively listening to others, you worrying less about what you ‘should’ say next.

When we take the focus off of us, and put it on others, people will be more eager to chat with us.  Magically, you’ll become sought out for conversation and social interactions.  And knowing that others actually want to talk to us (because everybody wants to talk about numero uno…themselves), it makes chatting up other people a whole lot easier.

5. Have Something to Talk About

Many people shy away from talking with others because they feel like they don’t have much in common them. But there is an simple remedy for this.  A simple tactic to help you come out of your shell, is to always ensure you are up-to-date with current affairs.  Knowing what is going on in the world can go along way in helping you relate to people about “the happenings of the day”.

By having material to converse about with others, and topics others would be interested in knowing about or would want to hear your opinion on, you’ll increase your preparedness to talk with others freely.  And the more prepared you feel, the more comfortably you’ll be a striking up conversations with strangers._^[1]

So brush up on the news and what’s popular, and be ready to share your opinions like an extrovert.

6. To Become Extroverted You Must Get Your Mind Right

Many introverts have a problem with busy brains.  We process events and things in a very cerebral way and so tend to overthink things. 

Unfortunately, this tends to show up as internal conversations we have with ourselves about everything.  And sometimes, those inner conversations create unnecessary alarm.

As an introvert, your inner voice can become loud, especially when you are about to do something that makes you nervous.  This inner talk leads to even more nervousness, especially if that voice is filled with a nervous tone.  It can be a compounding effect.  And it is this compounding effect that paralyzes many introverts from “getting out there”.

As an introvert you’re nervous enough as it is, and having an inner voice yelling at you… “No, no, don’t do it!  It’s not gonna work, you’re gonna make a fool of yourself,” etc.. doesn’t help your situation.

So, to fight this, you must get your mind right.  And the best way to get your mind right is to silence your inner doubter with meditation.   If you start practicing mediation daily, you’ll easily learn how to gag your inner nervous chatter.  And when you gag that inner train-wreck, trying your hand at becoming an extrovert is a whole lot easier.

7. Visualize the Extrovert You Want to Be

If you really want to know how to become an extrovert, you must not skip this step.  One of the most powerful tactics you can employ to unleash your inner extrovert, is to visualize the extrovert you want to be. 

In your mind, be the extrovert you want to be. I know that sounds simple, but the mind is a powerful thing.

When you start to visualize that powerful outgoing you, the version you want to be, you give yourself subconscious mind permission to seek ways to bring that ‘you’ into reality.   If you don’t know where to start, just follow Napoleon Hill’s Self-Confidence formula.  It is a powerful tool and it can help you begin the visualizing you need to do, to step into your extroverted self.

Final Words on How to Become an Extrovert

There you have it, seven powerful tactics to help you become the extrovert that you know you can be.  Here’s a quick recap to help you retain what you just learned:

1. Put Yourself Out There
2. Practice Being an Extrovert
3. Study Confident & Extroverted People
4. Become an Active Listener
5. Always Have Something to Talk About
6. Calm Your Mind
7. Use Visualization

As you strive to become more extroverted remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be born an extrovert in order to achieve meaningful success in their lives.  It’s true, many extroverts were born extroverts, but many have also been made.

Never forget that many celebrities, leaders, and uber-successful entrepreneurs are introverts; like Stephen Spielberg (Multi-Award Winning Director), James Hetfield (Lead Singer of Metallica), Tom Hanks (Actor),  J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter Series), Barak Obama (ex-President of the United States), and Elon Musk (Inventor and CEO of Tesla), and if they can succeed, so can you._^[2]

The people who have the ability to transform themselves into an extrovert on demand, will be better able to capitalize on opportunities when they arise.  And you now have seven little secrets that most introverted people will never be aware of.  Lucky you!

Till next time, 

STRIVE

PS  –  If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, be sure to read this today!

If you’re searching for some inspiring courage quotes then you’ll love this page. Before we dive into them however, know this…

We all need to look within and dig deep now and again, to remember that we have what it takes to live the life of our dreams. If that’s you, looking for that little nudge of encouragement, or help remembering that you can rise to the occasion, then you’ve come to the right place.

If you’re searching for quotes about courage, we’ve got them here. We’ve curated some of the most encouraging words on the importance of being brave, courageous, and fearless from some of the world’s greatest minds. Our hope is that they’ll give you the courage to unleash that inner bravery that will help you live your best life. So, without further ado, if you’re ready to dive into some of the most powerful courage quotes of all-time then let’s dive in: 

100 Courage Quotes to Help You Unleash Your Inner Lion

1. “Fortune favors the bold.” – Virgil

2. “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Gide

3. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin

4. “Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” – George A. Sheehan”

5. “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” – Soren Kierkegaard

6. “Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway.” – John Wayne

7. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill

8. “He who is brave is free.” – Seneca

9. “Messenger boy: The Thessalonian you’re fighting, he’s the biggest man I’ve ever seen.  I wouldn’t want to fight him. Achilles:  That is why no one will remember your name.” – Troy

10. “Courage is fear holding on a minute longer” – George S. Patton

11. “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey

12. “Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” – Babe Ruth

13. “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” – Buddha

14. “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” – Muhammad Ali

15. “In any given moment, we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” – Abraham Maslow

16. “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E.E. Cummings

17. “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” – C.S. Lewis

18. “Courage is knowing what not to fear.” – Plato

19. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

20. “The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.” – Tacitus

21. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” – J.K. Rowling

22. “Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.” – Amelia Earhart

23. “Just as courage is the danger of life, so is fear its safeguard.” – Leonardo Da Vinci

24. “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” – Coco Chanel

25. “Courage is a love affair with the unknown.” – Osho

26. “From caring comes courage.” – Lao Tzu

27. “He is a man of courage who does not run away, but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.” – Socrates

28. “Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.” – Dale Carnegie

29. “You will never do anything in this world without courage.  It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.” – Aristotle

30. “The secret to happiness is freedom…  And the secret to freedom is courage.” – Thucydides

31. “Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

32. “Freedom is a system based on courage.” – Charles Peguy

33. “Courage is action, not talk.” – Jeff Rich

34. “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius, and a lot of courage, to move in the opposite direction.” – Albert Einstein

35.  “Valor grows by daring; fear by holding back.” – Publilius Syrus

36. “If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.” – David Viscott

37. “I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly.” – Oprah Winfrey

38. “Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” – Seneca

39. “Courage conquers all things: it even gives strength to the body.” – Ovid

40. “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” – Nelson Mandela

41.  “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.  If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it.  Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

42. “Courage is on display every day, and only the courageous wring the most out of life.” – Zig Ziglar

43. “You can’t test courage cautiously.” – Annie Dillard

44. “Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you are scared.” – Eddie Rickenbacker

45. “What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

46. “People don’t follow titles, they follow courage.” – William Wells Brown

47. “Without courage, wisdom bears no fruit.” – Baltasar Gracian

48. “Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.” – Bertrand Russell

49. “Trust the still, small voice that says, “ this might work and I’ll try it.” – Diane Mariechild

50. “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don’t live at all.” – Ashley L

Halfway There

You’re more than halfway through these courage quotes, great job! We hope they are providing you with the inspiration and courage you’ll need to go after the life you want.

If you’re not 100% fired up yet, well, keep reading until you feel 100% belief in yourself. You got this, let’s go!

51. “The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” – R.G. Ingersoll

52. “Creativity takes courage.” – Henri Matisse

53. “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.” – Winston S. Churchill

54. “Do not be afraid I am with you.” – Isaiah 43:5

55.  “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy

56. “Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it.” – Amy Poehler

57. “Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of courage and I promise you something great will come of it.” – We Bought A Zoo

58. “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

59. “Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it by use.” – Ruth Gordo

60. “One man with courage is a majority.” – Thomas Jefferson

61. “Life is too short to not be fearless for what you want.” – Nate Lee Morales

62. You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both.” – Brene Brown

63. “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quite voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.”

64. “Anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” – J.K. Rowling

65. “Courage is resistance to fear, master of fear, not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

66. “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

67. “I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflections.” – Thomas Paine

68. “Fight hard when you are down; die hard—determine at least to do—and you won’t die at all.” – James H. West

69. “Never forget that no military leader has ever become great without audacity.” – Karl Von Clausewitz

70. “The devil whispers, “You can’t withstand the storm.” The Warrior replied, “I am the storm.” – Unknown

71. “To uncover your true potential, you must first find your own limits and then you have to have the courage to blow past them.” – Picabo Street

72. “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair

73. “Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.” – Maggie Kuhn

74. “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

75. “Live Dangerously and you live right.” – Goethe

76. “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting.” – Karl Wallenda

77. “Courage is Grace Under Pressure” – Ernest Hemingway

78. “Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it.” – T. Scott Mcleod

79. “Glory gives herself only to those who have always dreamed of her.” – Charles de Gaul

80. “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” – Goethe

81. “Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” – Raymond Lindquist

82. “Sometimes you don’t realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness.” – Susan Gale

83. “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

84. “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie

85. “Be Fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” – Courage Quote

86. “Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.” – Michael Jordan

87. “Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.” – Unknown

88. “Sometimes the biggest act of courage is a small one.” – Lauren Raffo

89. “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

90.  “Fate loves the fearless.” – James Russell Lowell

91. “One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this.” – Don Quixote

92. “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” – Dorothy Thompson

93. “Have the courage to act instead of react.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

94. “He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!” – Anne Frank

95. “The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything.” – Dennis Waitely

96. “Cowards die many deaths before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once.” – William Shakespeare

97. “Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” – Billy Graham

98. “Courage is the standing army of the soul, which keeps it from conquest, pillage, and slavery.” – Henry Van Dyke

99. “To be successful we must do things that unsuccessful people do not want to do. Those things require levels of courage.” – R. Harpe

100. “Courage is the ladder on which all other virtues mount.” – Clare Booth Luce

Bonus Quote on Courage

We have one last addition to these courage quotes that we’d like to add.  It is a courage quote that every student of success must never forget.  Here it is, straight from the mouth of the  ‘Dean of Personal Development’…

“All You Need Is The Plan, The Roadmap, And The Courage To Press On To Your Destination.”

– earl nightingale –

Final Words On Courage

There you have it friends, the best of the best when it comes to courage quotes.  Did you enjoy them?  If so, please share using any of the social share buttons below…  Spread the fire!  Also, if you enjoyed these courage quotes, you’ll probably really enjoy our popular No Guts, No Glory Quotes.

With that being said, we hope you’ll leverage these courageous thoughts and words of wisdom to start living the empowered and successful life you were meant to live.  

Till next time, 

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed these courage quotes, then you’ll likely enjoy this courage enhancing + confidence boosting resource: Go Fearless

If you’re searching for effective strategies on how to become fearless and confident in yourself then this article is for you. However, before we provide those strategies, it’s important to know that we all have choices to make in this life, and some of those choices are constant. We all must choose on a daily basis, between shirking opportunities for growth and expansion, or leaning in to face our challenges fearlessly with full acceptance of the outcome.

Choosing the former leads to stagnation, less freedom, less happiness and ultimately unfulfilled potential. While on the other hand, the latter leads to more joy, freedom, abundance, and potential fulfilled.

“THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS IS FREEDOM…AND THE SECRET TO FREEDOM IS COURAGE.”

–  THUCYDIDES  –

Without a doubt, there are fears and doubts that keep the majority of people living out their lives in quiet desperation, only to go to their graves with their gifts, dreams, talents, and aspirations still left inside of them. In fact, the late Wayne Dyer once stated, “The number one regret of the dying is ‘I wish I had the courage to live the life I wanted rather than doing what others wanted of me.’”

Thus, it is for this line of reasoning that we decided to publish this resource, to provide you with actionable strategies that you can use to build confidence in yourself. The type of confidence that would allow for you to to live life fearlessly starting today.

With that being said, after researching numerous books, and experimenting with a variety of different tools, (meditation, affirmations, guided visualizations, hypnosis etc…) we discovered a handful of best-practices that you can immediately employ to start building confidence in yourself quickly.

We’re confident, that if you attempt to conquer your fears using the insights provided on this page with complete commitment, you will begin to experience noticeable progress in your self-belief, confidence, and your ability take more action.

In other words, you will become more confident, fearless, and thus more inclined to transform yourself into the type of action-taker your dreams require you to be.

So, if you’re ready to learn about the 10 best strategies for becoming fearless and confident in yourself starting today, let’s dive right in:

HOW TO BE FEARLESS AND CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF

1. BELIEVE (HAVE FAITH) IN YOURSELF

This first confidence-building strategy simply consists of having faith in yourself. We understand that this may seem difficult to do. But once we show you the why behind how this works, you may just become inclined to make your leap of faith.

This “why” that we’re referring to consists of a simple process. It’s only one process, but we aim to illustrate it in two different ways.  Thus, the two diagrams below are meant to inform you, as well as act as an incentive to encourage you to continue using the other strategies we will be providing to you. 

With that said, both of these diagrams are important to comprehend, but the diagram that is best to keep in mind as you utilize the other strategies we’ll be recommending, is this first one, Diagram 1. 

We suggest that it is kept at the forefront of your mind, and used as a foundation as you strengthen your confidence muscles. We recommend this because of the substantial life enhancing effects that can result from you believing that you can become not just uber-confident, but fearless.

So, without further ado, here is the first diagram, your foundation, and your strong reason as to why you should become fearless.

DIAGRAM 1: 

This diagram (see on next page) is a model for life enhancement.  When we comprehend how this model impacts our life, we can equip ourselves with the conviction that is needed to jumpstart our intentions for facing our fears. 

The model demonstrates how you can actually decide to crush your fears, and take steps to continually suppress those fears, while at the same time setting yourself up for future success.

When you observe the model on the next page you will notice that it is cyclical.  You should also take note, that the model spirals in a direction that is toward a stronger, increasingly improved you, which naturally translates into a brighter future for you.  

You’ll notice when looking at this model (especially in comparison to the second diagram provided just after this one) the word ‘Increased’. 

This entire model is impacted by the decision to increase our belief that we can become fearless, and an increase in our belief of ourselves.  As a result, a bigger brighter, more fulfilled future can ensue.  

The premise of the model is this: If you force yourself to have certainty about your abilities, an absolute belief that you can handle whatever it is you are undertaking, you will place in motion a positive life enhancing process. 

When you decide to increase your belief that you can do something, you will influence your potential for actually being able to do that thing well.

Having the sense that you have increased potential to accomplish something, you will in effect be more likely to take (increased) action to fulfill that potential. As you begin taking more action, and doing so with full faith in your potential and ability to execute flawlessly, you will begin to get better results.

Having these improved results will reinforce your belief in yourself, and in your abilities.  In turn, the whole process will restart anew, and every recurring time, it will be from an even stronger, more confident position.

In summary:  with a decision to believe in one’s self, one’s potential to execute will increase.  Consequently, one will be inclined to take even more action, whereby, one will inevitably see more improved results.  As time goes on, this process will compound all results.  Therefore, it is vital to begin from a position of belief, to get onto the path towards living fearlessly.

DIAGRAM 2: 

Diagram 2 is very similar to Diagram 1, just illustrated above.  This diagram was included primarily to provide additional context in relation to the power of belief.  Its purpose is to demonstrate what the opposite effects are, if we get started on the wrong foot.

This diagram, unlike Diagram 1, is on a negative spiraling path towards a diminishing life.   It is different in that it consists of a cycle of decrease.  In essence, when we allow for things, people, or our own negative opinion of ourselves to negatively impact our belief in ourselves and our abilities, we will inevitably experience a level of diminishment in our potential.

Through this feeling of diminished capabilities, we will in effect act less on the fulfillment of our goals.  Like most people, when something seems futile, we are less inclined to persevere.  As a perfect example of cause and effect, our lack of action (or our half-hearted action) leads to substandard results.

And the cycle goes on.  Those less than stellar results reinforce our lack of belief in ourselves (again), which as a result decreases our outlook on our potential even more so.  In turn, this ultimately reduces even further, our desire to act, yet again bringing even worse results, etc.

This phase can go on indefinitely to eventual physical, spiritual, and professional defeat. Something we do not want for you, or anyone.

The most critical aspect to take away from this strategy to build confidence in yourself (considering both diagrams), is that it is critical that we start all of our undertakings from a place of belief.

If you begin having any doubts as you implement any of our other strategies, or begin to feel your inner cynic start to come out, just come back to this first strategy and simply reacquaint yourself until you are ready to move forward with faith.

It is vitally important that you believe you can actually learn how to become more confident.  It is important to believe that you can do amazing things, because without belief, you can not, nor ever will, become a fearless version of your former self.

So, first things first, have faith in yourself!

“IF YOU MUST DOUBT SOMETHING, DOUBT YOUR LIMITS.”

–  PRICE PRITCHETT  –

2. INTERNALIZE THESE 6 TRUTHS

This next confidence boosting strategy consists of six very important truths that when deeply understood, can assist you in the easing of your apprehensions. _^[1]  

We suggest you attempt to internalize these truths.  By doing so, you will be conditioning your mind to release the stress that you may have built up around your fears and apprehensions in the past. Here they are:

• Fear and angst never goes away fully, not as long as we are growing, stretching, and striving for more.  Fear, angst, and uneasiness then, is but a natural consequence of striving.

• To start feeling confident and good about ourselves, we have to take some type of definitive steps/actions to improve the situation or ourselves.

• The only way to get rid of the fear or angst of doing something is to go out and do that thing which which is causing us unease.

• Fear and doubt art things that is experienced by everyone.  To be human, is to fearful and doubtful. Fear and doubt are natural byproducts of growth; it’s a byproduct of placing ourselves in unfamiliar territory, outside of our comfort zones.   We are all human, and thus we all experience fear and doubt.

• Living with the regret and the feeling of helplessness the stems from not tackling your fears or seeking to suppress your doubts, is more frightening than having decided to face your fears head on.

• The more attention we give to our fears without doing something to combat them, the stronger they will grow, and the more paralyzed you’ll feel when you decide to conquer them.

Speaking these six truths out loud whenever fear begins to creep up in our mind, can do wonders for quelling any anxiousness we may be feeling.

It’s like preparing for a big game or battle against a worthy opponent.  The more you know about your opponent, the less frightening it is.  The less frightening the opponent appears, the more willing we are to face it.

3. PRACTICE THESE SIX ACTIONS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF

There are six practical actions will be helpful for you to keep in your ‘back pocket’ so-to-speak, so they can be easily accessed when the time comes for proactively building confidence in yourself.

This step, also includes a diagram that conveys how taking action works toward curing our fears.

Action 1:

It is critical to know, that action builds confidence and cures fear.  As such, find a way to isolate your fears.  Once you do this, you can then begin to take constructive action to face those fears.  Taking action on the thing you fear most is highly effective.  If you don’t take action, your fears will grow.

Action 2:

Project (or force) your confidence.  Here are some ways to do this:

a. Force yourself to sit in the front row of your training classes, sit nearest the boss in meetings, put yourself out there, etc.

b. Speak up.  Participate.  Engage.

c. Make sure you make and keep eye contact with everyone with whom you speak.  Force yourself to not instantly look away. Establish your presence.

d. When you walk, walk with purpose. Consider walking 25% faster. _^[2]

e. Smile big and act as if you were confident.  Fake it till you make it. 

f.  Stand tall, and act like a person with pride.  People respond more positively to such a presence, which will up your confidence.

Action 3:

Take time to actively envision yourself successfully executing that thing which you fear.  Many times, our fears are tied up in our perception that we can’t or won’t be able to do something well.  A simple action that we can take to calm our nerves about a fear of our inability to do something is to imagine, over and over again, our doing that thing well, or perfectly.  Doing so will not only ensure you do that thing better, but you will have less angst leading up to the doing of that thing.

Action 4:

Take massive action to only allow positive thoughts in your mind.  Watching or reading the news, allowing ourselves to think negatively, being around gossipers, or participating in gossiping, will detract from your confidence, and thus incubate your fears.

Action 5:

Practice following what your conscience tells you is right.  In other words, listen to your gut.  By doing so, you will prevent a toxic guilt complex.  Trust your gut.  If something feels wrong, it probably is, so don’t do it.

Action 6:

Release your fear of other people, and of their judgements.  Remember that other people are just as human as you.  Also keep in mind, that people more often than not, really mean well.  And deep down inside, they are actually nice, and don’t have the negative judgements of us that we typically conjure up in our minds.

Be sure to review the ‘Take Action Diagram’ on the following pages, as it will help illuminate why taking action on your fears is helpful.

Once you have reviewed the diagram, consider coming back to the actions mentioned earlier, and pick any item, and decide to take action on it today.

TAKE ACTION DIAGRAM

We are fearful of those things that are outside our comfort zone. The unknown has always brought discomfort to even the greatest of us. This model objectively demonstrates how when we take actions/risks towards facing our fears, we eventually make progress towards overcoming those fears. _^[3]

Imagine yourself standing within the center of the model, which is your existing comfort zone.  As you take incremental risks, you move outward on this model, to higher level risks, acquiring new levels of confidence in the process.  This level of confidence then allows for you to keep moving (outward) towards that main fear, until you’ve faced it.  At this point, the discomfort of doing that fearful event again should be much less severe, as you have graduated into your newly attained comfort zone.

This model also demonstrates why even after we’ve accomplished a fear inducing goal, why we may continue to still have fears.  It’s important to note, that in most cases, the fear we are experiencing won’t be the same fear as before.  As we choose to stretch ourselves to accomplish bigger or more challenging goals, new fears will arise due to the uncertainty of accomplishing those goals. 

4. LEVERAGE THIS SELF-CONFIDENCE FORMULA

The following Self-Confidence Formula was derived from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’. _^[4]

We have found that it has the most optimal effect when it is read consistently, in its entirety, and aloud with deliberate energy every morning just after waking up. 

By reading this mantra daily as a ritual, noticeable changes to your confidence levels may be experienced.  As such, you will be positioning yourself to approach your fears with the heightened courage needed to conquer them.  Here it is:

1. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life.  Therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.

2. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality.  Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.

3. I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object.  Therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence.

4. I have clearly written down a description of my Definite Chief Aim in life.  I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.

5. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice.  Therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects.  I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people.

I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others.  I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success.  I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself.  I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.

COMPANION RESOURCE: 

As part of this strategy, we’ve also included the following mantra, which was written by Walter D. Wintle._^[5] 

This mantra is a great reminder of the power that thought has on our life outcomes.  We’ve included it because it is such a helpful reminder on the power belief and mindset can have on how we show up in life.

With constant review, it can strengthen your belief in your ability to will change, and to use your mind to defeat the challenges that lay before you.

MINDSET MANTRA

Related: Mantras For Success

5. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH AFFIRMATIONS

If you are not familiar with affirmations, they are essentially statements said to oneself, with conviction about a perceived truth.  They are a way of programming one’s mind into believing what you are telling it. 

Affirmations can be useful for strengthening our minds against a number of self-limiting beliefs.  They are especially affective for helping people manage a lack of confidence. And they are great to use if you have a strong sense of fear towards doing something.

If you want to learn more about what affirmations are, and how to make them work for you, we highly recommend you read the Psychology Today article, by Ronald Alexander Ph.D. titled: ‘5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You’.

The following phrases are some of the most powerful Fear Conquering affirmations you can use.  They are most impactful when read daily, out loud to yourself.  It is especially effective if you look into a mirror, directly into your eyes, when reciting these affirmations. This is known as the mirror technique, of course it’s not 100% necessary, especially if you are driving, etc.

For the sixth one, just fill in the blank with whichever issue you are having doubts about. Or fill it in with any issue that fills you with anxiety due to self-perceived feelings of inadequacies. 

For example; if you have doubts about your strength as a leader, recite the following: “I am a strong leader.” 

Similarly, if you fear you are not good public speaker, you can recite the following:  “I am a great public speaker.” 

And, if you fear you are not a good conversationalist, recite the following:  “I am a great conversationalist”. And so on and so forth.

You can also easily interchange the adjective of Great on this sixth affirmation with whichever you wish to be more of. For example, you can use good, powerful, successful, calm, peaceful, happy, etc. instead of Great.

• I AM FEARLESS.
• WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN HANDLE IT.
• I EXUDE CONFIDENCE.
• I AM POWERFUL, POSITIVE, AND ENERGETIC.
• I LOVE MYSELF, AS WELL AS OTHERS.
• I AM A GREAT__________________.

If you’re looking for a really thorough list of affirmations to build confidence in yourself, and more about affirmations in general, use these resources:

• Affirmations For Confidence
• What Are Affirmations?
• Do Affirmations Work?

With that said, this next section includes a helpful diagram that can help you track how affirmations are impacting your feelings of empowerment over time.  The exercise is optional, but it can help you observe and track progress.

PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT CONTINUUM DIAGRAM: 

This is a powerful diagram that the late Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. inspired via her book, ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’._^[6]   It has served as a very useful way to track my progress on my feelings of confidence. 

With the knowledge that you can track how you feel about yourself, and how you perceive yourself in terms of handling your fears, you can gradually improve your situation.   That which gets measured, can improve. 

As such, this diagram is an excellent way to track your progress towards becoming more empowered via the affirmations you used, (or can be used to track your feelings of progress for the implementation of all mentioned strategies), towards building your confidence.  How you measure yourself is purely subjective and relative to your situation, but then again, so is fear.

An important thing to keep in mind, is that the secret to handling our lack of confidence, is our ability to move ourselves from a place of pain (see left side of diagram), to a place of feeling empowered (see right side of diagram).  When we are in a place of pain, we feel helpless, we feel depressed, have a feeling of paralysis (Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t want to do Anything), and are generally apathetic. 

However, when we are empowered, we feel we are capable of making decisions. We have more energy, we take more action, and we conduct ourselves from a place of passion.  Observe the diagram below.

When you’re feeling empowered, you’ll make better choices and have more energy. You’ll also take more action, and feel a stronger sense of passion and well being in your life.

PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT TRACKING

Consider tracking the impact the affirmations are having on you at the end of each week. Practice your affirmations diligently, and then measure how you feel in each area to if they are working.

Take inventory of your progress towards becoming a bit more confident and a lot more fearless for the next 66 days, using the ‘pain to empower’ diagram.  Simply add a check mark along the spectrum, pinpointing how you feel your empowerment levels rank on a scale from 1 – 8 at the end of every week  (1 being the worst, and nearest to pain, and 8 being the best and nearest to feelings of empowerment).   

Tracking like this can help to provide a sense of accomplishment. And that sense of accomplishment can help you push through the entire duration of the process.

Here is what that measurement and tracking process could look like:

Quantify Results to Make Measurable Progress:  Wherever you place your check mark on each of the four spectrums, you can use the location (1 -8) of that check mark as the number to enter in the boxes below.   By doing this, you put a number to your progress.  

In fact, at the end of each week, you can tally up your score for each spectrum (divide it by 4) and then enter it into the TOTAL SCORE box at the bottom.  By quantifying your improvement, you can make measurable progress over time.   For instance, the hypothetical total score on the next page is the total of each spectrum score, divided by 4.  i.e. 7+4+6+8 = 25   so then 25 ÷ 4 equals 6.25 

If you’re total score grows throughout the following weeks, keep doing what you’ve been doing, as a growing score signifies that you’re moving in the right direction.

Related: Affirmations For Success

6. INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE WITH VISUALIZATION

Cheryl Lossie, Ph.D., is a former lecturer of public speaking for Clemson University, and retired public-speaking lecturer who specialized in teaching some of the most fearless people on the planet, the U.S Special Forces, how to overcome their hesitancy of speaking in front of people, and how to do it well. 

When we interviewed Dr. Lossie about what she recommended to her students (the fearless Special Ops folks) for overcoming their fears of public speaking, she informed us that it was to simply practice visualization.

Her recommendation coincided well with much of our research and experiences for overcoming fears. In fact, it also aligned with some of Tony Robbins’ research on how to overcome fear as well.   As such, a great mental exercise to help you build confidence in yourself, is to simply practice visualization.

As a best practice to visualize effectively, it is recommended, that you sit in a quiet place, with no distractions. You’ll want to close your eyes, and then take 2 to 5 minutes to imagine yourself executing flawlessly (in addition rebounding flawlessly, if things do go as planned) that thing which you are so afraid of doing. 

For example:

• If afraid of public speaking, see yourself giving a flawless presentation.  Also, see yourself getting that standing ovation or that positive response you are seeking from your audience once you’ve finished wowing them.

• If it’s conducting an important staff-meeting, see yourself taking charge and crushing that meeting.  Imagine in detail exactly what you plan on saying, how you will say it, and think what you will say in response to other attendees at the meeting.

• If it’s presenting a sales presentation to a client, see yourself giving a perfect sales presentation.  Imagine also, every objection that might come your way, and see yourself handling those objections with grace and confidence.

• If it’s approaching that beautiful girl at the coffee shop, imagine yourself striking up a conversation confidently, and holding a great engaging conversation with the person.  Imagine everything that could go right.

You may be asking yourself, ‘Is building confidence really this easy?’ And the answer to that question is yes, it is that easy, so long as you put in the time to visualize your ideal outcomes.

With that said, let’s move on to our next confidence building strategy.

7. BUILD CONFIDENCE WITH ENCOURAGING QUOTES

Below you will find 20 power quotes that you can reference at your leisure.  Once you have read all of them, consider coming back to the ones that really speak to you.

The quote that moves you the most is the quote that will be most helpful to read when you need to take action on anything that you are resistant to do.

1. “Fear, the worst of all enemies, can be effectively cured by forced repetition of acts of courage.” – Napoleon Hill

2.  “Fearlessness isn’t a divine gift.  Fearlessness is a daily practice.” – Robin Sharma

3.  “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

4. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

5.  “There is only one way to avoid criticism:  Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle

6.  “A human becomes fearless by accepting his/her fears.  It is not a question of bravery.  It is simply seeing into the facts of life and realizing that these fears are natural.” – Osho

7.   “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

8.  “Safe is Risky” – Seth Godin

9.   “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting” – Karl Wallenda

10.   “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly ” – Robert F. Kennedy

11.   “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T.S. Eliot

12.   “Greatness lives on the edge of destruction” – Will Smith

13.  “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin

14.   “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot: but make it hot by striking” – William B. Sprague

15.   “It is never too late to be what you might have been” – George Elliot

16.   “The most important thing to remember is this:  To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. ” – D.E.B Dubois

17.   “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.  Dream.  Discover.” – Mark Twain

18.   “The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything” – Dennis Waitely

19.   “People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.  People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” – Peter Drucker

20.   “It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all” – William James

If you’re looking for additional quotes to boost your confidence and help you life life fearlessly, these collections will do the trick:

• 100 Best Quotes on Courage

• 70 Confidence-Boosting Quotes

• 35 Quote For Fearlessness

• 25 No Guts No Glory Quotes

8. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH THESE KEY QUESTIONS

The following four questions will bring new levels of clarity to every situation where a lack of confidence is involved.  It is suggested that you honestly ask these questions of yourself. 

Similarly, when faced with a future challenge or situation which induces anxiousness in you, ask yourselves these questions, and wait for your inside voice to answer the question for you.

After doing so, you should find that these questions have a calming effect on you, thus, gently banishing the fears that your mind has potentially built up around the task at hand. With that said, here are the questions:

Question 1:  What is really on the other side of this thing I am fearing at the moment?

The answer is always… NOTHING.

Question 2:  If I knew that I could handle anything that came my way, what would I possibly have to fear?

The answers is… NOTHING.

Question 3:  If the worst possible outcome related to doing this thing that is making me so afraid, actually happened, would I be able to handle the outcome?

The answer is…YES.

Question 4:  If I let this fear get the best of me, and allow it to keep me from doing that which  am afraid to accomplish, will I, on my deathbed, regret that I had not made the decision to do that thing which I so feared?

The answer is… IT IS UP TO YOU.

Related: Books For Confidence

9. DIGEST THESE CONFIDENCE-BUILDING TED TALK VIDEOS

To help you increase your confidence while simultaneously minimizing fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, we’ve curated four classic Ted Talks you should watch.  Our hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and overcome your fears rapidly.

Here are the videos:

VIDEO 1:  AMY CUDDY

This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy.  She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves. 

In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves. Put another way, she demonstrates how you can manipulate your body to build confidence in yourself.

All in all, it’s full of great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless.   Her last suggestion is what is most important.  “Fake it till you Become it”.  

VIDEO 2:  TIM FERRISS

Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferrids gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them.  If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear. 

His last two messages are by far the most important.  “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”

VIDEO 3:  JOE KOWAN

An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter  Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage.  Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does. 

It’s very powerful and it is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people.  Click on the image above to learn how to fearless and confident through learning.

VIDEO 4:  JIA JANG

Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears.  He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through.  By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection. 

Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.

10. FIND YOUR LIGHT

Why are we so afraid to do what we truly want in this life?  Why are we always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions we make? 

Too many of us tuck our dreams and true interests away in some small corner at the first sign of disapproval from others. We don’t follow our own heart, we don’t we follow our light.  Why?

Robert Greene, said it so well in his book ‘Mastery’, as he pinpoints exactly what happens to so many people. In fact, it is what happens to all of us when we don’t follow our true inclinations.  He states the following:

“Conforming to social norms, you will listen more to others than to your own voice.  You may choose a career path based on what peers and parents tell you, or on what seems lucrative.  If you lose contact with your inner calling, you can have some success in life, but eventually your lack of true desire catches up with you.  Your work becomes mechanical.  You come to live for leisure and immediate pleasures.” _^[7]

So, if you are afraid to do what you truly want in this life, don’t be.  You only have one life to live, and none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.

If you are always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions you make, or cause you to doubt yourself, with respect all due respect, stop!  Your opinions and interests matter, what interests you is important.

No more tucking your dreams and true interests away, no more hiding your talents because others may disapprove of them.  If you want to live a confident and fearless life, you have to follow your dreams.

This is the last act, because it requires the most self-examination and courage to act on your insights; however, it also harnesses the most potential to help you become confident, act boldly, and live fearlessly.  

Thus, to help you follow you fire, your light, your dreams, you first need to know exactly what it is that YOU want.  Thus, this strategy is an exercise to help you discover what your calling is, so you can follow it.

Once you’ve completed the self-discovery process, focus on bringing it to life by making plans to live it.

FIND YOUR CALLING EXERCISE

Below is a tool to help you find your light, your fire, or whatever you want to call it.

Ultimately, it is a questionnaire that will help you bring more clarity to your life. Improved clarity leads to confidence, and confidence leads to action, and action eventually turns into results.

Give it a look here: Find Your Light Guide

IMPLEMENTATION

By answering all of the questions in the guide provided, and giving each one your sincere and thorough consideration, you’ll discover a deeper awareness of who you are, what makes you happy, and what you should be doing with your life. All of these things will help you build confidence in yourself.

When every decision you make, every action you take is aligned with the fulfillment of the life objective you discover from this exercise, you will, without a doubt, have the confidence to truly live fearlessly.

BUILDING THE CONFIDENCE TO LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY

A final word of caution. There is nothing more crushing in your pursuit of becoming your absolute best or in deciding to become who you truly want to be, then by having someone within your inner circle question your intentions and doubt your possibilities. 

“THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL NOT FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU.  WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE.”

   –  MARIANNE WILLIAMSON  –

As you’ve probably experienced, fear and doubt can spread swiftly like a virus.  As such, you must take proper precautions to make yourself immune to its infection. 

A good starting point, in making yourself immune, is to understand that doubters are simply afraid.  They are afraid of not living up to their potential, afraid that you may outshine them.  These individuals, will claw and scrape, and try to hurt you, to keep you fearful of life, fearful of your very best.

Often times, they don’t do this consciously. It’s their subconscious insecurities that compel them to lash out. And they lash out at you because they have yet to find the courage to face their fears and pursue their potential as you do.

If possible, remove these doubters from your life.  Remove, as best as you can, anyone who doubts your potential. Remove anyone who doubts your skills, your abilities, your choices, your greatness. 

If you can’t completely remove these people from your life, then distance yourself from them.  Spend as little time around them as possible, so as to minimize their negative influences on you. 

If distancing yourself from them is not an option, then you must create a mental firewall to negate their negativity, to negate their doubts.  A simple way to do this, is to convince yourself that their judgement no longer holds the weight that it once had.

Begin at once, to see yourself as a lion, and ‘them’ as the sheep (because that’s what they are). Reinforce your mental firewall with the following thought….

“A LION DOESN’T CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF THE SHEEP.”

   –  ANONYMOUS  –

A final word of encouragement. Congratulations, you now know how to be fearless and confident. You are truly equipped with the tools to become as confident as you want to be.  The choice to embrace your new found confidence and live life fearlessly is now solely up to you.

We encourage you to decide to be confident today, to make the decision to believe that you can handle whatever this world throws at you.  If you make this simple decision, and practice our recommended strategies, you will in effect be choosing to be fearless, and as a result, you will be. 

If the fears and doubts begin to creep back in, remember that you can rely on the power of belief and the power of pursuit, to drive your fears away.

As you move forward to build confidence in yourself, towards taking on new and greater challenges, we are sure everything in life will begin to change for you. 

Believe that you can do whatever it is that you wish to do.  Have faith in yourself, have faith in your vision, believe that you deserve the best, because my friend, you do. 

STRIVE To Go Fearless!

REFERENCES

_{[1] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 22.}

_{[2] David J. Schwartz Ph.D., The Magic of Thinking Big (New York: Prentice Hall, 1965), 52.}

_{[3] Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 36.}

_{[4] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 57,58.}

_{[5] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 59, 60.}

_{[6] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 26.}

_{[7] Robert Greene, Mastery (New York: Penguin Group, 2012), 13,14.}

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Self Confidence is everything.  In fact, if you don’t have it, your chances of finding serious success in any endeavor is going to be limited.

Now, we are not saying you can’t succeed without confidence.  But, we are saying that it will be difficult to gain massive success without it.  And massive success is the key word.

Don’t believe us? Try naming one extremely successful person who isn’t self-confident.

Exactly.  We couldn’t come up with a name either.

What is Confidence?

Now, confidence isn’t the same as charisma. Too many people get the two mixed up. Charisma is when someone has a compelling attractiveness about them, a charm if you will, that allows them to typically inspire devotion in others. However, confidence on the other hand, is the deep knowing that you can do something. It is a calmness of mind that stems from having trust in your ability to do a certain thing well.

Of course people succeed all the time without having the charisma of Winston Churchill, Neil Patrick Harris, or Matthew McConaughey, but succeeding without confidence is a completely different story.

Without Confidence You Won’t Do This….

Here’s why.  When you lack self-confidence, you essentially don’t believe in yourself.  And when you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t take action.

Needless to say, the less action you take, the less likely you’ll be to run into opportunity.  And without opportunity, you can’t really find success.

Why?  Because success is never something that is given.  Success is something that is always earned.

And success keeps her distance from those who don’t take action.

You can’t seize your moment, or take risks on those slivers of opportunity that rarely present themselves, if you are not taking action.

In short, we can’t succeed, we won’t succeed, without first having self-confidence.

If success requires anything…. above all else it requires action, and action requires self-confidence.

Related: Lacking Self Belief? Read This

Can You Teach Yourself Confidence?

The great news is, you can teach yourself how to be more confident. You can increase your confidence levels because confidence, much like a muscle, can be strengthened by use. And if you can teach yourself confidence, you can take more action. And if take more action, you can be become about as successful as you want to be.

More confidence will lead to more action, and more action will lead to more success.

Related: How to Become an Extrovert

The Key to More Action

With that being said, we want to give you a powerful tool that will help you become more confident.  We want to give you a key to taking more action, and from that action, the attainment of more success.  This key, is called the self-confidence formula.

This self confidence formula is a simple tool that various members of our team still use daily to gain and maintain the confidence needed to crush our days.

This tool has been a big part of our morning routine for years now, and it has helped us strengthen our belief in our ability to do…. well, just about anything!

This formula that we use stems from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’.   If you haven’t read the book yet, then we highly recommend you read it [Click Here to Download for Free]. 

Of course, you don’t have to read the book before putting this effective confidence formula to work for you.

The formula is essentially a declaration that you read to yourself. It contains a handful of hidden affirmations (auto-suggestion) that will gradually work on your subconscious minds.

It is suggested that you read it aloud, with an open mind, and with faith that it can help fortify your confidence. It will require some faith on your part, but I can assure you, if you believe in it, it will work.

Related: Think and Grow Rich Quotes

So without further ado, below is your new highly effective confidence tool that you will be sure to benefit from. Here you go:

THE SELF-CONFIDENCE FORMULA

1. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life. Therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.
2. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.
3. I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object. Therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence.
4. I have clearly written down a description of my Definite Chief Aim in life. I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.
5. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice. Therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others.  I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success.  I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself.  I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.

Related: Self-Confidence Affirmations

Final Thoughts

There you have it!  A powerful and simple way to increase your confidence, and it’s free and available for you to use whenever you want.

Please don’t underestimate the power of this self-confidence formula.

Trust us when we say, it has the ability to level up your life.  We promise you. But, you’ll have to have a little faith and apply it habitually.

To do so, consider reading this formula daily so that you make it habit to build your confidence.  The changes it will make in how you feel will amaze you. But ever more amazing, will be how other begin to notice the shift in your presence.

Moreover, you’ll impress yourself by how much more daring you’ll be in your own life.  Your new-found willingness to take more action, will undoubtedly open new doors for you.

It’s time to unleash that extremely confident titan residing deep down inside of you. Use this confidence formula to awaken that giant from its slumber! Your successful future-self, will thank you for it!

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS –  If you enjoyed this resource and found value in it, then you’ll enjoy this confidence booster and this list of great reads.

When you woke up this morning, stumbled over to the mirror, and had a good long gander, what was the first thing you said to yourself? Did you give yourself a solid pep talk, remind yourself how awesome you are and think about all the ways you were going to crush it today? Probably not. You let that trash-talking peanut gallery in your head make you feel like you’re inadequate. Enough! If you’re going to take on the world and conquer it, you’ve got to know how to stop negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is a symptom of something greater than just a lack of self-confidence. It can stem from years of not feeling support, an unending string of what we perceive to be failure, and an inability to see our potential. The roots of pervasive negativity can go all the way back to our childhood and manifest because we have unfinished business there, or it can be because we never developed a sense of resilience.

Overcoming negative self-talk isn’t merely an exercise in changing our mindset (although, that is a vital component for transformation), but a process which we have to be open to, so we can realize that on the other side of “I can’t” is an infinite world of “I absolutely can!”

You know that ol’ adage, “If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to respect us?” The same goes for negative self-talk. We can’t lean on others to believe in us if we’re sitting in the back row doing an audit on our life instead of realizing that we are exceptional. So let’s dive in and learn some strategies to change our inner conversations and overcome negative self-talk for good.

HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

1. Call Your Critic By Name

Don’t roll your eyes, hear me out. You have been throwing shade at yourself for so long, you probably don’t even recognize when you’re being negative. That inner critic has latched onto you like a parasite and it’s time to set it free.

Give that critic a name, something funny. And every time you hear or catch yourself thinking something negative or critical, talk to your inner critic as if it were a person. Let it know it’s gunning for a break-up, and it’s just a matter of time.

If you feel comfortable enough, share the name of your inner critic with your friends and family so when they recognize you being negative, they can keep you accountable.

2. Talk it Out to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Keeping with the theme of reaching out to friends and family, overcoming negative self-talk is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight. And chances are, the ones closest to you (including your boss) have suffered alongside you. They are just as invested in your becoming a happier, more positive person as you are.

So when you feel yourself slipping into the doldrums, shoot a text to a trusted confidant and run those thoughts by them. If you’re mid-rant, telling yourself how useless you are, wouldn’t it be liberating to have someone chime in to tell you how smart, hardworking and kind you are?

Of course. It’s going to take a few battles to win the war, don’t be afraid to enlist the help of trusty troops.

3. If You Can’t Get Positive, Go Neutral

There is no pill for overcoming negative self-talk (though some may disagree). It takes work. Placing pressure on yourself to be all rainbows and sunshine right out of the gate only sets you up for failure, putting you in a headspace where negativity begets negativity.

Take baby steps. Start with very simple language changes. Swap out sentences like, “I can’t do this” or “this will never,” with phrases like, “I just need more time” and “maybe this can.”

This may seem trivial and ridiculous, but we’re talking about the power of language. Think about how destructive your language has been to you and your life. If you’re not ready to fully commit to complete transformation, let’s at least crack the door open, and explore some possibilities.

4. Stay in the Moment

Whew! This is a tough one, especially when one of your favourite things to do (subconsciously) is to focus on the absolute worst case scenario of everything in life. But unless you’ve discovered time travel, you have absolutely no idea what is going to happen.

Stop focusing on the “what if” and get your head in the game by being comfortable with the “right now.”

5. Get Off the Guilt Trip

Avid negative self-talkers love to pack their bags and head out on the most epic guilt trips. Guilt tripping lets you take inventory of every single minute thing that you didn’t get done, and then you get to revel in your failure to complete things. What about focusing on all the things you accomplished instead?

If you want to overcome negative self-talk, take 15 minutes out of your day every day and write down everything you accomplished. No detail is too small. From brushing your teeth, to closing a sale, to doing a load of laundry. You’re getting stuff done; you’re just too focused on what you feel like you should be doing.

6. Stop Pretending to Read Minds

Unless you’ve been side-gigging as a psychic, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on in someone else’s head. Read that again. If they haven’t told you, you have no idea what someone else is thinking.

So why are you creating negative dialogues about what they might be thinking about you? You need to stop attaching meaning to everything someone says to you, and stop fabricating stories that say bad things about you.

7. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Sure, opposites attract, but rarely do individuals who regularly engage in negative self-talk attract happy, positive people, and there’s good reason for that; happy people like to surround themselves with other happy people. If you exist in a circle of negativity outside of yourself, what hope do you have of making a transformation?

Make some social adjustments. If you’ve got family members who are enabling you or engage in negative self-talk, take a step back. Tell them you love them, but you need to make some changes for your mental well being.

8. Shift Your Perspective to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Pffft! Easier said than done, right? Sure, but totally worth a try. Take an inventory of your fears, your concerns, your challenges. Write them out, and read them back to yourself. Now write down why you think you’re incapable of overcoming these things.

Are they really so difficult? Are you asking yourself to climb Everest with no equipment next weekend? Are you being asked to solve world hunger by 2023? How dire are these issues you’re facing? You can absolutely push through whatever is holding you back from unleashing your potential. 

9. Simplify Your Social Media Influences

Don’t panic, I’m not telling you to get off social media…completely. What I am asking you to do is to take a deep dive on who and what you are letting influence your inner dialogue on the social media landscape.

Are you following positive people and brands? Do you spend hours and hours disappearing down social media rabbit holes, only to come up for air feeling even less adequate than when you swiped into the app? Clear the decks! If you’re not following accounts that make you feel like a rock star, or share positive narratives, you do not need them in your life right now.

10. Become Someone Else’s Hype Person

Helping others makes us feel good. It gets those endorphins pumping. But it also has a sneaky way of making us feel better about ourselves, and we tend to hold our chins a little higher. Consider taking on a mentorship role to someone in your life.

It could be a friend starting a business or a colleague who needs some support in getting that next promotion. Engaging in supportive dialogue with someone we care about can retrain our brains into quieting our own inner critics.

Final Thoughts on Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is akin to cancer. It can permeate every aspect of our life, impacting our career aspirations, family and friend dynamics, and relationships. The great news is, it’s not a permanent state of being, it’s a choice.

Like everything in life, anything worth having requires time, effort and dedication, but once you cross that threshold into living a more positive existence, everything gets easier from there on out. So, if you’re ready to overcome negative self-talk for good, put these tips to good use daily.

Till then,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed this article on how to stop negative self-talk, then you’ll enjoy this read on how changing your mindset can can change your life, and you may even find value in these powerful affirmations for confidence.