Think of the time when you were a child. You did what you wanted to, said what you wanted to and would just be yourself without fear of judgement. You existed without apology. You were the happiest person you knew.
Somewhere along the way, you grew up.
You learned the society you lived in had certain rules and to be accepted you had to follow the rules. You learned that skinny was the benchmark, that A+ was the best, that Harvard was the goal, that Gucci was the trend, that 17 was the age.
Your parents said you were a disappointment and shame. Your teacher said you would barely make it past high school. Your friends…well, the mere fact that they existed was enough to put you in a constant cycle of comparison.
The need for belonging and human connection is deeply embedded inside us humans. Since you wanted to be loved and accepted by others, you wanted to feel like you belonged, you began comparing yourself to others. You felt that you needed to live up to society’s standards and people’s expectations.
Somewhere along the way, you lost touch with yourself.
Now here you are questioning your existence, throwing pity parties, self-sabotaging, and feeling miserable because you are not good enough. You will never be good enough.
But the question is compared to whom?
Who is it that you’re comparing yourself to? Kylie Jenner? Oprah? That girl you had in high school who has 1 million followers on Instagram? His ex?
It never ends…
And that’s where the problem lies. You are comparing yourself to others who are completely different from you. They have different personalities, different goals in life, different values and different lifestyles.
Imagine this. You become that person you are constantly comparing yourself to. Finally. Some days later you will start comparing yourself to someone else, someone better. There will always be someone better. The cycle never ends…
What Happens When You Compare Yourself to Others?
- You underestimate yourself: Have you ever seen two different flowers? Do you see a lily withering away and shrinking just because it’s next to a rose which is a prettier flower? No. The lily blooms no matter who it’s next to because it knows it’s beautiful in its own way. Sure, a lot of people might compare it to the rose but that does not matter to the lily.
Similarly, when you compare yourself to others, you underestimate your beauty, your uniqueness, and your strengths.
- You lose confidence in your abilities: If you’re always thinking you are not as good enough as someone else, you never perform at your best. You start doubting yourself. You start second-guessing. And it shows.
- You ignore other people’s flaws and magnify your own: You forget that hot Instagram celebrity is always on drugs. You scroll past Rylie’s post about her depression and get hooked on her love life. You ignore the fact that Brenda has zero manners and compare your cellulite to her lean thighs. When you compare, you don’t compare rationally. You become irrational and miscalculate.
- You get stuck in a never-ending cycle: None of us is born complete. You may be good at one thing but suck at something else. You may have pretty hair but not a pretty mouth. You may excel at writing but suck at math (hey, that’s me). In your quest to be the best at everything, you will be stuck in a cycle of comparison and never be happy.
I know what you’re thinking right now. How do I stop comparing myself, Sadia? Well, the next part of this article will teach you how to stop comparing yourself to others based on psychology and my own experience.
1. Act Like the Miracle You Are
Do you know you could never be born?
Based on genetics, the chances of you being born are 1 in 400 trillion which means you could have been your uncle, your great grandmother, Hitler, Trump or even a tree or truck (who knows) but God decided to create you.
Yes, you. The you that is reading this right now. The you that is comparing herself to… who… Riley Reid? For the love of God, stop.
Get your shit together and start acting like the miracle you are!
2. Accept Yourself
Imagine walking into a store. You are looking to buy something really nice for your best friend’s birthday and the salesperson introduces you to a second copy of the thing you need. What goes through your mind? Cheap. Low quality. Not high-class. That’s not something you would gift to your best friend, right?
When you compare yourself, you are basically saying you would rather be a second copy of someone than you. Is that what you’re offering to the world? A second copy? You need to keep it classy!
Your genes (or DNA) combined to give you a unique set of physical features, traits, strengths, weaknesses, and talent that nobody in the world has. No one in 7 billion people in the world.
That’s a number!
Accept yourself for who are: your quirks, your passion, your style, your body, your humour, your looks. Admit that you have flaws, but you have strengths too, even if just one. Celebrate the one good part of you like it’s the best thing in the world. Stop looking for external validation. Stop comparing yourself to others!
3. Unfollow and Unfriend
Do you know smoking kills? Of course, you do. It’s everywhere in bold red with skeleton signs.
But do you know what kills more than smoking (if you ask me)? Social media.
It kills people’s confidence, self-esteem, relationships, mental health time and energy every day. Yet we spend hours on end scrolling social media, comparing ourselves to an unrealistic picture people paint of their lives.
The harsh truth: people only put the best parts of themselves out there.
Let that sink in.
Photoshopped and filtered photos, fairytale love lives, picture-perfect rooms, graduation photos with Harvard signboard in the backdrop- that’s what you see on social media.
What you don’t see is this: the loneliness and emptiness they feel while clicking photos, the heartbreaks, the stress that comes from pulling all-nighters and a real-life they need an escape from.
I know so many people who live picture-perfect lives on social media but are miserable when I get to know them.
My psychology professor once told me a story of a client who came into therapy. He was extremely handsome and she was blown away by his looks!. But do you know why he came into therapy? He thought he was ugly.
Now here’s your task: If you really want to stop comparing yourself to others, unfollow all social media accounts that trigger comparison in you. Only follow people who inspire you, motivate you or add something meaningful to your life.
Next, take a break from social media. Delete all your accounts for 7 days. Fill in this time with practicing a hobby, self-care, reading articles on Medium or watching TED talks.
Honestly, you owe yourself some respect.
4. Own Your Journey
The society that we live in constantly pressurizes us with deadlines and an arbitrary concept of milestones – find your first love at 17, get a scholarship and graduate by age 23, have a six-figure job by 24, get married by 26, own a nice house by the ocean by 30- and thousands of other superficial and bizarre, if not seemingly impossible tasks.
Soon you find yourself in a rat race chasing achievement, wealth, people and comparing yourself to those ahead of you. You start to believe there is a timeline you have to follow.
But you did not come into this world with a timeline. You didn’t even come with a roadmap. You came alone. You came here as the boss of your own life.
What you want to do with your life and by when is completely your choice. Set goals, break the rules and live by your own values. Get out of your comfort zone and take new challenges. Never stop learning.
Remember one day you are going to die. And that day nobody will celebrate the timeline you followed all your life but the person you were. The ways you touched people’s lives. The smiles you spread. The light you were.
Keep your head down and focus on yourself. Stop comparing your journey with others. Time is an abstract concept and numbers were invented by humans.
You are not running out of time. You are exactly where you need to be.
5. Focus on Being Inspired Instead of Comparing
When I was in school, I was always comparing myself to this girl in my class. She excelled in academics, had an amazing sense of humour and a charismatic personality. Compared to her I was the nerd of the class who people stayed away from like I was infected with measles or something.
The more I compared myself to her, the uglier, smaller and worthless I felt.
And no, I never stopped comparing myself to her.
But looking back, I would tell my younger self to use that girl as an inspiration instead of a standard of comparison. Genuinely admire the unique qualities she had- positivity, humour, wit, confidence- and use it as an inspiration to bring out the better parts of me.
Instead of sulking and rotting with jealousy, be yourself, take up space and exist without apology as she did.
To sum up, here are 5 ways to stop comparing yourself to others physically, emotionally and in other ways:
- Act like the miracle you are. You are 1 in 7 billion people.
- Accept yourself for who you are boldly and proudly
- Unfollow people on social media. Regularly do a social media detox
- Own your journey. You are exactly where you need to be
- Focus on being inspired instead of comparing
Found this article helpful? Hit share!
Till next time,
25 AFFIRMATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE THAT ACTUALLY WORK
Confidence, at its root, is simply possessing a deep and convincing belief in yourself. It is knowing that whatever you do, and whatever happens in your life, in the end, you are going to be all right. So, if you’re in search of discovering or creating such self-assuredness, these affirmations for confidence may be exactly what you need.
For whatever reason, many people don’t believe in themselves. In fact, most people doubt themselves, and have a deep mistrust of what they are capable of. It’s unfortunate too, because this lack of confidence can impact the quality our lives in very real and tangible ways. The lack of confidence leads to less action, less action leads to less opportunities seized, and less opportunities seized leads to well, a life that is less than amazing.
Fortunately though, confidence is only a state of mind. And, much like a muscle, confidence can be strengthened, sculpted, and transformed, much like our physical bodies. And all it really requires is the determination to make it so. Without a doubt, improved confidence is a matter of choice. Your choice. You can, if you decide to, manufacture at will, your own higher levels of self-confidence. How? Simply put, through confidence affirmations.
Affirmations are one of the most effective ways that you can immediately begin dialing up your self-belief. And as a result, your confidence. All it takes is you speaking a few encouraging words to yourself daily.
By simply repeating a handful of confidence affirmations daily, you can fortify your mind against that small inner voice that has been telling you you’re not good enough lately. And if you practice this positive self-talk daily with conviction and consistency you’ll be well on your way to becoming a new and more confident person in no-time at all.
So, to get you started on the right track of becoming a better and more confident you, we’re publishing only the best affirmations for confidence. The affirmations that actually work for boosting self-esteem, self-belief, and of course confidence. So, give them a shot. You have nothing to lose, and heaps of confidence to gain. You ready? Let’s go!!
25 BEST AFFIRMATIONS FOR CONFIDENCE
Affirmation 1: I Exude Confidence.
The first confidence affirmation is short, but powerful. Use it often while envisioning yourself overflowing with confidence. And before you know it, you will be.
Affirmation 2: Whatever Happens To Me, I Can Handle It.
You are more powerful and capable then you can imagine. And sometimes, just knowing that everything is going to be all right can give you that subtle edge of assuredness that others will see as glowing confidence.
Affirmation 3: I am Worthy of All The Good Things That Happen In My Life.
You are worthy, and when you’ve convinced yourself of this fact, the world will believe it too. So, use this affirmation often, and then carefully observe how everybody around you starts to treat you like the King/Queen that you are.
Affirmation 4: I Deserve The Highest and Best In Life.
You deserve what you believe you deserve. And if you can make that little voice in your head believe you deserve the highest and best, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with how things start turning out for you. You’ll begin making new friends, you’ll be treating a little better then others, but more importantly, you’ll start feeling great about yourself.
Affirmation 5: I Don’t Need Validation From Others.
By repeating this affirmation you’ll silence that doubting voice that all of us have heard which whispers, “But what will they think?”, “What if they laugh?”, “What will they say.” This affirmation can and will make you a lion amongst men and women.
Affirmation 6: I am a Lion, Not a Sheep.
Speaking of lions, this affirmation will give you the mental edge to not care about the opinions of others. Especially if those opinions are coming from people who don’t matter to you. So, embrace this affirmation to tap into your inner lion while silence your inner lamb.
Affirmation 7: I am Fearless.
There is magic in this affirmation. It works surprisingly fast, and it curbs self-doubt and fear in a matter of minutes. This affirmation is perfect to recite when your nerves are getting the best of you, like right before you give a public speech or call that special someone on the phone.
Affirmation 8: I Let Go of Negative feelings About Myself, and Accept Only The Good.
Much of our confidence, or lack there of, stems from our thoughts. Typically, the more negative our thinking is, the less confident we are. However, when our thoughts and feelings are filled with positive thoughts about the world and our life, we’ll naturally feel better about ourselves.
Affirmation 9: I Believe In Myself.
When a person believes in themselves, others can sense it. The resolute and deep belief in our own abilities, worthiness, and value is the equivalent of confidence. As such, finding a way to believe in yourself will do wonders for your confidence.
Related: Lacking Self Belief? Read This
So, force yourself to believe in yourself by using this simple affirmation often, and your confidence will soar as a result.
Affirmation 10: I Love Myself, As Well As Others.
Having positive and loving relationships with others as well as with ourselves is a powerful combination for increasing our self-confidence. And when you recite this affirmation, it helps facilitate the creation of more positive relationships in our lives.
Affirmation 11: I Release Anything That Doesn’t Serve Me.
All to often we hold on to negative judgement of others, or the negative feelings we experience when we’ve failed in the past. But, those feelings don’t serve you. In fact, they harm you and your confidence. So, use this affirmation to let go of all those thoughts and feelings that don’t make you feel better about yourself.
Affirmation 12: I am Powerful, Positive, and Energetic.
This is one of our favorite affirmations for confidence because it helps create a positive vision of what confidence typically looks like to others. And, when we begin to feel more powerful, positive, and energetic, and we begin acting out such feelings, the world will struggle to see you as anything nothing less than the epitome of confidence.
Affirmation 13: I am Worthy of All That I Want.
One of the biggest impediments to confidence is the lack of self-worth. Affirmations alone won’t completely fix how much we value ourselves, but, taking positive steps to find daily victories in our everyday lives along with consistently reminding ourselves that we are indeed deserving of the things we want, can help usher us to a new and improved level of confidence.
Affirmation 14: I Trust Myself.
Self-trust is the essence of heroism. As such, use this affirmation to build your confidence muscles and draw out your inner hero.
Affirmation 15: I Have Faith In Myself.
Affirmation 16: I Enjoy Meeting People and Making New Friends.
This affirmation is particularly helpful for introverts. Considering most introverts prefer to keep to themselves, they do. However, confidence is built when one is out in the world facing their fears with others.
Related: How to Win Friends Quotes
So, use this affirmation to get you of your comfort zone and into dynamic social situations that will force you to grow. The result, if you do it enough, will be more confidence.
Affirmation 17: I am Confident and Strong.
Confident people are associated with strength, and strong people are typically associated with confidence. So, convince your mind that you are both with this confidence affirmation and the day will come when it will be 100% true.
Affirmation 18: If God is For Me, Who Can Be Against Me.
There is just something comforting about this affirmation. It has the power to instantaneously fill one up with a level of assuredness that would be hard to find in the person who doesn’t believe it.
Affirmation 19: I am Becoming More Confident Each Day.
You can become more confident with each day that passes, so long as that is your intention. So, use this affirmation for confidence till you intentions lines up with reality.
Affirmation 20: I am Unique and Wonderful In All Ways.
You are unique, and there are many great things about you. As such, try to see those positives when you utter this affirmation, and you’ll see your confidence improve at a faster rate.
Affirmation 21: God Is With Me; God Is Helping Me; God Is Guiding Me.
Not everyone will be comfortable evoking the help of the divine. Some might even be too prideful, or doubtful of the merits of doing so.
However, regardless of whatever it is you believe in, or don’t believe in, if you’ll recite this affirmation with faith, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the results. But, don’t just take our word for it, give it a try yourself. Trust; but verify.
Affirmation 22: I am The Master of My Emotions.
People’s who cannot control their emotions rarely come across as the calm and level-headed person others see as confident. However, when you set it as a goal to become the master of how you think and feel about what happens to you, you’ll become that confident person everyone wishes they could be.
Affirmation 23: I am a Miracle.
This confidence affirmation is powerful. By repeating it, it will help you believe in your uniqueness, and in the fact that you are special. I believe you are a miracle, and when you start to believe it, miracles will start to happen for you.
Affirmation 24: I am The Most Confident Person I Know.
The affirmation won’t be true at first, but with frequent use, you’ll be creating the ideal and uber-confident version of yourself in your mind often. As such, you’ll move yourself in the direction, over time, of becoming more confident then you ever thought you could be, and eventually, if you truly wish it to be, the most confident person you know.
Affirmation 25: I am Bold and Determined to Become My Best Self.
You have take some major steps to becoming a better and more confident version of yourself. And this affirmation does a great job setting the stage for what must be done to become the confident version of you that you aspire to.
Final Thoughts on Confidence
Alright, you made it through our affirmations for confidence. Big kudos to you. Now, the real challenge is using these affirmations consistently. So, bookmark this page, and come back often. Choose the affirmations that most resonate with you. And simply repeat them to yourself silently or out loud until your mind is filled with thoughts of faith, confidence, and a strong belief in yourself.
With that being said, go forth and believe in yourself. And trust that with a humble and reasonable confidence in your own powers you can and will be successful and happy.
PS – If you enjoyed these affirmations for confidence, then you’ll definitely find value in these additional resources for building up your confidence:
5 SUPER SIMPLE WAYS TO BE MORE CONFIDENT
So You Want to Be More Confident?
Are you looking for some ways to feel and be more confident? Of course you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article on confidence.
Look, feeling confident and fearless in our day to day lives is not something that’s easy to come by. If it were, there would be no need for the thousands of books, courses, and blogs that specifically deal with the subject. But that’s not the case.
Learning how to be more confident is in high demand, and likely always will be. Why, because hundreds of thousands people wish they could maintain a strong sense of confidence, but they often come up short. How do I know? Because Google tells us so. Just look at how many people are searching every month for ways to improve their confidence:
So What Are The Causes?
Oddly enough, some of the causes of lagging confidence and fear are due to public situations as seen in a Chapman University Survey of American Fears, while others are a result of personal issues that many young people often deal with according to this UK Report. The Chapman Survey shows a sample of 1,207 grown-ups from around the US which reveals that people’s top fears border around issues of public concern. While the UK stats actually reveal that over 60% of girls from 10 – 17 years of age experience low self-esteem which destroys their self-confidence. On top of this, there has also been research that supports the fact that there aren’t significant differences in self-esteem among genders. Meaning, the struggle with confidence is gender neutral.
In short, everyone needs to be confident to feel and be successful in life. From Entrepreneurs, to professionals, to students, to leaders, everyone should have a level of confidence that makes living a quality life a reality. And the good news is, there are many ways (most of them easy) by which we can all build our confidence. So, that’s what the rest of this article is going to do; give you some super simple ways to be more confident.
You ready? Let’s go….
5 BEST WAYS TO BE MORE CONFIDENT
1. Confront Your Fears and Doubts
Fear is a feeling of perceived threat or danger. It is also a negative emotion, but it is a natural one that is prompted for our own benefit, i.e. survival. Some psychology experts even say fear is a mental energy, or a form of abstraction. But, regardless of what fear actually is, nothing can ever make you fearful without your permission.
As such, it is always best to confront those things that make you fearful, rather than run from it.
Truly, whenever a circumstance or issue appears to induce fear in you, we can choose to either face it or run away from it.
Opting for the latter hardly makes things better for you, in fact, doing so could often leads to unwanted circumstances; like missing out on dating that dream guy/girl, never getting that promotion, or losing out on what could have been a profitable opportunity. There is true wisdom in the saying, “Nothing ventured nothing gained”.
2. Think Positively
The benefits of positive thinking are invaluable. You empower yourself when you think positively, and you become optimistic towards more outcomes. Truly, all things become possible only if you think they are. Which is why positive thinking should be made into a habit. If you want to remain confident, it necessary to cultivate positive thought patterns on the daily.
Think about this – any time you think negatively about an issue at hand you’ll notice how it almost immediately impacts how you feel about yourself and the world. Without a doubt, experiencing a small negative emotion can wreak havoc on your whole day.
But, when you force yourself to think positively, you minimize the chances of negativity getting the best of you. By simply deciding to be ore positive you can dramatically improve your entire outlook on life, and this will certainly impact your overall attitude in your day to day interactions.
So, in spite of all the threatening situations and negative news that exists out there, try to focus on feeling positive. Try to always look on the bright-side of things. Don’t enter into a dialogue with your negative emotions. Attempt to do away with those things which you perceived to be negative in your past as well, because believe it or not, bad memories tend to form a negativity bias and we humans are programmed to constantly think back on them. So, do these things, and before you know it, you’ll become more positive minded, and as a result, a more confident person.
3. Speak To Yourself
Speaking to oneself may appear foolish and unworkable sometimes. But it is not. According to a documentary film, “The Human Brain”, every human being says about 300 – 1000 words to themselves every day. Truly, self-talk is something we do every day consciously or unconsciously.
In fact, one of the most powerful self-talk methods that can help just about anyone be more confident, is to employ affirmations.
If you’re new to affirmations, or never heard of them, these confidence affirmations are a great place to start.
4. Be Honest With Yourself
Speaking of speaking to yourself, doing so also leads to realism – the practice of being true to yourself. As a matter of fact, when we are true to ourselves we can better assess what we can and can’t do, and this leads to a whole new level of confidence.
For an instance, if I’m trained as a business person but I attempt to write a high quality article for Forbes.com or the Wallstreet journal, I may find my submissions getting constantly rejected. And of course, this rejection would likely be detrimental to my confidence. However; if i were to enlist the services of someone who is actually skilled at writing, I would be doing myself and my confidence a favor.
As such, it is always good to know who you are, and to “be real” with your skill-sets and what you are capable of. By doing so, so you’ll partake in only those things you are actually good at, and in the process, preserve your confidence.
5. Separate Facts From Memory
Our neurons tend to absorb more of those memories and experiences that have occurred in the past. Which means that the more focus on those things that didn’t go right in our past, the less confident we’ll become when it comes to trying to do a similar thing in the future.
As such, if you really want to do a thing, it is important to keep in mind that you can do a thing, and to recall your past for lessons on how you can improve your odds of doing such a thing in the future. Just because you have encountered some experience of failures in the past does not mean you can’t raise up your head above the murky waters of the past.
For example, if Thomas Edison mixed the memories of the previous Nine hundred and ninety-nine occasions of failures with the fact that he could yet invent the bulb, he may have never been able to confidently approach the one-thousandth attempt that gave the bulbs that light our houses and streets today.
So, forget your memory, do not remember them, especially if it is colored with “can’t”. The only thing you should do with your memory is glean the lessons on how you can improve your approaches for finding better results on the things you attempt to do a second time.
The fact of the matter is this; that your past does define who you are and what you can be. Equally, aim to keep the memories of the good but do not allow them to cause you to rest on your laurels. Rather let the remembrance of your past successes bring you to a more self-assured knowing that you can learn from the past to change the future.
Confidence is the foundation of all progress and success in life. And you know have the some new tools that you can add to your confidence toolkit. So, are you really ready to become more confident?
Remember, every successful person has had to muster up the confidence to achieve the goals they went after. So, if you seek more progress, success, and achievement in your life, you’re going to need to step into that more confident future you.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this article on some of the best ways to be confident, then you’ll enjoy these supporting confidence boosting resources:
7 BEST TED TALKS ON BUILDING CONFIDENCE TO CRUSH YOUR FEARS
If you’re searching for some of the best Ted Talks on confidence this page is for you. Before we dive into them however, let’s briefly touch on the topic of fear and/or a lack of confidence.
Fear can have a huge impact on how our lives’ turn out. It can limit us from living a happy fulfilled life. Fear can keep us from success, it can keep us from fulfillment; it can keep us from becoming our best self.
It’s an unfortunate fact that many of us go through our days, allowing ourselves to live with a lack of confidence. We allow ourselves to be defeated by our fears.
We let fear conquer us, when we let it keep us from applying for our dream jobs. When we let fear hinder our ability to take action on starting that big life-changing project we’ve been meaning to launch, we lose to fear as well . We also lose to fear when we let it discourage us from approaching that person who might have been our one true love, our ideal partner, our soulmate. Regrettably, we all too often allow fear to be the driver in our lives.
When we let our fears dictate what we do, we pay a price. Sadly, we end up paying this toll with the quality of our life.
To help put a stop to fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, I’ve put together this powerful list of Ted Talks on confidence. My hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and start overcoming your fears.
I jotted down a brief synopsis of each video so you can get an idea of what the video is about before you commit to watching the whole thing. When you are ready to watch the video, just click its associated image.
Without further ado, here’s your list of Ted Talks on how to build confidence and overcome fear:
BEST TED TALKS ABOUT CONFIDENCE
1. Joe Kowan : How I Beat Stage Fright
An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage. Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does. It’s very powerful and is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people. Click on the image above to watch.
2. Amy Cuddy : Your Body Shapes Who You Are
This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves. In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves. It’s great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless. Her last suggestion is what is most important. “Fake it till you Become it”.
3. Jia Jiang : Overcoming Fear with Rejection Therapy
Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears. He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through. By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection. Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.
4. Tim Ferris : Learning How to Smash Fear
Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferris gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them. If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear. His last two messages are by far the most important. “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”
5. Karen Thompson Walker: What Fear Can Teach Us
Novelist Karen Thompson Walker gives a refreshing take on dealing with fear. She gives some insights on how fears are nothing more than unintentional storytelling, and why it is important to learn how to listen to and read those fears effectively.
6 – Megan McArthur: Lessons On Fear, Confidence, and Preparing For Spaceflight
Nasa astronaut Mega McArthur shares some of the key steps she takes to minimize fear and create confidence, especially when taking big, scary, potentially life-changing risks.
One of her biggest secrets, is the power of preparation, but she also shares a few additional hacks that will help you build confidence in yourself as well.
7. Allyson Felix: A Mindset For Overcoming Fear
Olympic Champion Allyson Felix gives a powerful Ted Talk on how to overcome fear, and use fear for making meaningful change in our lives and in the world. Without a doubt, this Allyson’s speech is a powerful testament on the power of believing in ourselves, standing up for what we think is right, and how big things can happen when we lean into our fears.
There you have it, the 5 best Ted Talks about confidence and overcoming your fears.
I hope you found this collection of videos helpful to you on your journey towards improving your confidence and conquering your fears.
Remember, if we let it, fear will sabotage our biggest plans, it will snuff our highest hopes. Fear will stop us from living the life we were meant to live. It can, and it will restrain our greatness, unless we decide to conquer it.
Time to get out there and start crushing your fears! Go get your greatness!
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this round up on the best Ted Talks on Confidence, then you’ll certainly enjoy these 10 powerful steps for building confidence that lasts.
HOW TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY
We all want to feel confident in our own skin and in our own bodies, but sometimes it can be hard to do that, especially when we are constantly being told that we need to look or act a certain way. The good news is that there are things you can do to start feeling more confident in your body starting today. This article will discuss some tips that can help you become more self-assured and learn to love yourself for who you are. So, if you want to know how to feel more confident in your body this article is for you.
Why Is Confidence Important?
Confidence is important because it allows us to feel good about ourselves and our abilities. When we are confident, we are more likely to take risks and try new things. We are also more likely to be successful in whatever we do. Additionally, confident people tend to be happier and have better relationships.
Where Does Confidence Stem From?
Confidence always has to start from within how you feel. When you can love and appreciate yourself, true confidence begins to shine. The first step is learning to accept all of your flaws and imperfections. We are all human, and we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like. But it is important to remember that these things make us unique and special.
Confidence from within can sometimes be insufficient if you are not comfortable with how you look on the outside. If you don’t feel good about the way you look, it can be hard to have confidence in other areas of your life. One of the best things you can do in this regard is to start working on your physical appearance. This doesn’t mean that you need to go out and get surgery or anything like that. Just taking care of yourself and making sure that you look presentable can make a big difference.
HOW TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY
If you are not comfortable with your body, it can be hard to feel confident. One way to start feeling better about yourself is by working out and getting in shape. Not only will this make you look better, but it will also make you feel better.
When you are physically fit, you tend to have more energy and feel more capable of taking on the world. Exercise is also a great way to release stress and improve your mood. If you are not sure where to start, there are plenty of resources available online or at your local gym.
Having a Positive Mentality
Another important aspect of confidence is having a positive outlook on life. If you are constantly negative, it will be hard to see the good in yourself or others.
Learning to focus on the positive can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and your life. One way to do this is by practicing gratitude.
Every day, take a few minutes to think about things you are grateful for. This could be anything from your health to your family and friends. Remember, it is easier to let go of the negative when you focus on the good.
Related: The Power of Positive Thinking
Dressing The Part
Another way to improve your confidence is by dressing the part. When you look good, you feel good. It’s important to find clothes that fit well and make you feel comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable in what you are wearing, it will be hard to fake confidence.
Also, make sure that your clothes are clean and presentable. You don’t need to go out and buy expensive clothes, but taking the time to care for your appearance can make a big difference in how confident you feel about your body and how it looks with clothes on.
Surrounding Yourself With Positive People
Being in a community of people who accept you for who you are is important. If you are constantly around critical or negative people, it can be hard to feel good about yourself.
But when you surround yourself with positive people, it is easier to stay positive. Find friends or family members who make you feel good and spend time with them whenever possible.
You might also want to join a group or club that shares your interests. When you feel supported and accepted, it is easier to be confident in your own body and in yourself.
One of the biggest things that hold us back from being confident is comparing ourselves to others. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and we are all on our own journey in life.
If you spend your time comparing yourself to others, you will always find someone better than you. Instead of doing comparisons, focus on your own journey and be the best that you can be. You will start to see your own worth and feel more confident in your abilities when you do this.
Another way to feel more confident is by practicing self-care. This means taking care of yourself both physically and mentally. Ensure that you are getting enough rest, exercise, and healthy food.
Also, take some time for yourself every day to do things that make you happy. This could be anything from reading a book to taking a walk in nature. It is easier to feel good about yourself when you take care of yourself.
Learning To Accept Criticism
No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. What separates confident people from others is their ability to accept criticism. When someone points out our flaws, it can be tempting to get defensive.
But if you want to be more confident, you need to learn to take criticism constructively. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything that people say, but it does mean that you should be open to hearing what they have to say.
So, use criticism to learn and grow, and you will start to see yourself in a more positive light.
Focusing On The Things You Like About Yourself
One of the best ways to feel more confident is by focusing on what you like about yourself. We all have flaws, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t also find things that we like about ourselves. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself, both physically and personality-wise.
Then, take out the list and read it whenever you are feeling down. This will help you remember all the great things about yourself and give you a boost of confidence.
Repeating Positive Affirmations
If you want to feel more confident in your body, it is important to start speaking kindly to yourself. This means repeating positive affirmations to yourself daily. Tell yourself that you are strong, intelligent, worthy, and capable. Believe that you are worthy of love and respect.
The affirmations you speak should touch on areas of your life where you want to see improvement. When you say these positive things to yourself often enough, they will start to become true for you. You can also write down your affirmations and post them where you will see them often. Affirmations can help you believe in yourself and give you the strength to overcome challenges.
Related: Affirmations For Confidence
By using these tips, you can start to feel more confident in your own skin. Just remember that progress takes time, so be patient with yourself. Soon enough, you will start to see a difference in how you feel about yourself.
PS – If you enjoyed this article on how to feel more confident in your body, then you’ll also enjoy these other supporting resources that can help you on your journey towards feeling better about yourself, your health, and your life:
10 STRATEGIES TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AND LIVE LIFE FULLY
We all have a choices to make in this life, and some of those choices are constant. We all must choose on a daily basis, between shirking opportunities for growth and expansion, or leaning in to face our challenges fearlessly with full acceptance of the outcome.
Choosing the former leads to stagnation, less freedom, less happiness and ultimately unfulfilled potential. While on the other hand, the latter leads to more joy, freedom, abundance, and potential fulfilled.
Without a doubt, there are fears and doubts that keep the majority of people living out their lives in quiet desperation, only to go to their graves with their gifts, dreams, talents, and aspirations left inside them. In fact, the late Wayne Dyer once stated, “The number one regret of the dying is ‘I wish I had the courage to live the life I wanted rather than doing what others wanted of me.’”
Which is why we’re publishing this resource, to provide you with actionable strategies that you can use to build confidence in yourself. The type of confidence that would allow for you to to live life fearlessly starting today.
With that being said, after researching numerous books, and experimenting with a variety of different tools, (meditation, affirmations, guided visualizations, hypnosis etc.) we discovered these handful of best-practices that you can immediately employ to start building confidence in yourself quickly.
We’re confident, that if you attempt to conquer your fears using the insights provided on this page with complete commitment, you will begin to experience noticeable progress in your self-belief, confidence, and your ability take more action.
In other words, you will become more confident, fearless, and thus more inclined to transform yourself into the type of action-taker your dreams require you to be. So, if you’re ready to learn about the 10 best strategies that can help you begin building confidence in yourself today, let’s dive right in:
10 WAYS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AND LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY
1: BELIEVE (HAVE FAITH) IN YOURSELF
This first confidence-building strategy simply consists of having faith in yourself. We understand that it this may seem difficult to do. But once we show you the why behind how this works, you may just become inclined to make your leap of faith.
This “why” that we’re referring to consists of a simple process. It’s only one process, but we aim to illustrate it in two different ways. Thus, the two diagrams below are meant to inform you, as well as act as an incentive to encourage you to continue using the other strategies we will be providing to you.
With that said, both of these diagrams are important to comprehend, but the diagram that is best to keep in mind as you utilize the other strategies we’ll be recommending, is this first one, Diagram 1.
We suggest that it is kept at the forefront of your mind, and used as a foundation as you strengthen your fearless muscles. We recommend this because of the substantial life enhancing effects that can result from you believing that you can become fearless.
So, without further ado, here is the first diagram, your foundation, and your strong reason as to why you should become fearless.
This diagram (see on next page) is a model for life enhancement. When we comprehend how this model impacts our life, we can equip ourselves with the conviction that is needed to jumpstart our intentions for facing our fears.
The model demonstrates how you can actually decide to crush your fears, and take steps to continually suppress those fears, while at the same time setting yourself up for future success.
When you observe the model on the next page you will notice that it is cyclical. You should also take note, that the model spirals in a direction that is toward a stronger, increasingly improved you, which naturally translates into a brighter future for you.
You’ll notice when looking at this model (especially in comparison to the second diagram provided just after this one) the word ‘Increased’.
This entire model is impacted by the decision to increase our belief that we can become fearless, and an increase in our belief of ourselves. As a result, a bigger brighter, more fulfilled future can ensue.
The premise of the model is this: If you force yourself to have certainty about your abilities, an absolute belief that you can handle whatever it is you are undertaking, you will place in motion a positive life enhancing process.
When you decide to increase your belief that you can do something, you will influence your potential for actually being able to do that thing well.
Having the sense that you have increased potential to accomplish something, you will in effect be more likely to take (increased) action to fulfill that potential. As you begin taking more action, and doing so with full faith in your potential and ability to execute flawlessly, you will begin to get better results.
Having these improved results will reinforce your belief in yourself, and in your abilities. In turn, the whole process will restart anew, and every recurring time, it will be from an even stronger, more confident position.
In summary: with a decision to believe in one’s self, one’s potential to execute will increase. Consequently, one will be inclined to take even more action, whereby, one will inevitably see more improved results. As time goes on, this process will compound all results. Therefore, it is vital to begin from a position of belief, to get onto the path towards living fearlessly.
Diagram 2 is very similar to Diagram 1, just illustrated above. This diagram was included primarily to provide additional context in relation to the power of belief. Its purpose is to demonstrate what the opposite effects are, if we get started on the wrong foot.
This diagram, unlike Diagram 1, is on a negative spiraling path towards a diminishing life. It is different in that it consists of a cycle of decrease. In essence, when we allow for things, people, or our own negative opinion of ourselves to negatively impact our belief in ourselves and our abilities, we will inevitably experience a level of diminishment in our potential.
Through this feeling of diminished capabilities, we will in effect act less on the fulfillment of our goals. Like most people, when something seems futile, we are less inclined to persevere. As a perfect example of cause and effect, our lack of action (or our half-hearted action) leads to substandard results.
And the cycle goes on. Those less than stellar results reinforce our lack of belief in ourselves (again), which as a result decreases our outlook on our potential even more so. In turn, this ultimately reduces even further, our desire to act, yet again bringing even worse results, etc.
This phase can go on indefinitely to eventual physical, spiritual, and professional defeat. Something we do not want for you, or anyone.
The most critical aspect to take away from this strategy for building confidence (considering both diagrams), is that it is critical that we start all of our undertakings from a place of belief.
If you begin having any doubts as you implement any of our other strategies, or begin to feel your inner cynic start to come out, just come back to this first strategy and simply reacquaint yourself until you are ready to move forward with faith.
It is vitally important that you believe you can actually learn how to become more confident. It is important to believe that you can do amazing things, because without belief, you can not, nor ever will, become a fearless version of your former self.
So, first things first, have faith in yourself!
2. INTERNALIZE THESE 6 TRUTHS
This next confidence boosting strategy consists of six very important truths that when deeply understood, can assist you in the easing of your apprehensions. 
We suggest you attempt to internalize these truths. By doing so, you will be conditioning your mind to release the stress that you may have built up around your fears and apprehensions in the past. Here they are:
- Fear and angst never goes away fully, not as long as we are growing, stretching, and striving for more. Fear, angst, and uneasiness then, is but a natural consequence of striving.
- To start feeling confident and good about ourselves, we have to take some type of definitive steps/actions to improve the situation or ourselves.
- The only way to get rid of the fear or angst of doing something is to go out and do that thing which which is causing us unease.
- Fear and doubt art things that is experienced by everyone. To be human, is to fearful and doubtful. Fear and doubt are natural byproducts of growth; it’s a byproduct of placing ourselves in unfamiliar territory, outside of our comfort zones. We are all human, and thus we all experience fear and doubt.
- Living with the regret and the feeling of helplessness the stems from not tackling your fears or seeking to suppress your doubts, is more frightening than having decided to face your fears head on.
- The more attention we give to our fears without doing something to combat them, the stronger they will grow, and the more paralyzed you’ll feel when you decide to conquer them.
Speaking these six truths out loud whenever fear begins to creep up in our mind, can do wonders for quelling any anxiousness we may be feeling.
It’s like preparing for a big game or battle against a worthy opponent. The more you know about your opponent, the less frightening it is. The less frightening the opponent appears, the more willing we are to face it.
3. PRACTICE THESE SIX ACTIONS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF
There are six practical actions will be helpful for you to keep in your ‘back pocket’ so-to-speak, so they can be easily accessed when the time comes for proactively building confidence in yourself.
This step, also includes a diagram that conveys how taking action works toward curing our fears.
It is critical to know, that action builds confidence and cures fear. As such, find a way to isolate your fears. Once you do this, you can then begin to take constructive action to face those fears. Taking action on the thing you fear most is highly effective. If you don’t take action, your fears will grow.
Project (or force) your confidence. Here are some ways to do this:
a. Force yourself to sit in the front row of your training classes, sit nearest the boss in meetings, put yourself out there, etc.
b. Speak up. Participate. Engage.
c. Make sure you make and keep eye contact with everyone with whom you speak. Force yourself to not instantly look away. Establish your presence.
d. When you walk, walk with purpose. Consider walking 25% faster. 
e. Smile big and act as if you were confident. Fake it till you make it.
f. Stand tall, and act like a person with pride. People respond more positively to such a presence, which will up your confidence.
Take time to actively envision yourself successfully executing that thing which you fear. Many times, our fears are tied up in our perception that we can’t or won’t be able to do something well. A simple action that we can take to calm our nerves about a fear of our inability to do something is to imagine, over and over again, our doing that thing well, or perfectly. Doing so will not only ensure you do that thing better, but you will have less angst leading up to the doing of that thing.
Take massive action to only allow positive thoughts in your mind. Watching or reading the news, allowing ourselves to think negatively, being around gossipers, or participating in gossiping, will detract from your confidence, and thus incubate your fears.
Practice following what your conscience tells you is right. In other words, listen to your gut. By doing so, you will prevent a toxic guilt complex. Trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is, so don’t do it.
Release your fear of other people, and of their judgements. Remember that other people are just as human as you. Also keep in mind, that people more often than not, really mean well. And deep down inside, they are actually nice, and don’t have the negative judgements of us that we typically conjure up in our minds.
Be sure to review the ‘Take Action Diagram’ on the following pages, as it will help illuminate why taking action on your fears is helpful.
Once you have reviewed the diagram, consider coming back to the actions mentioned earlier, and pick any item, and decide to take action on it today.
TAKE ACTION DIAGRAM
We are fearful of those things that are outside our comfort zone. The unknown has always brought discomfort to even the greatest of us. This model objectively demonstrates how when we take actions/risks towards facing our fears, we eventually make progress towards overcoming those fears. 
Imagine yourself standing within the center of the model, which is your existing comfort zone. As you take incremental risks, you move outward on this model, to higher level risks, acquiring new levels of confidence in the process. This level of confidence then allows for you to keep moving (outward) towards that main fear, until you’ve faced it. At this point, the discomfort of doing that fearful event again should be much less severe, as you have graduated into your newly attained comfort zone.
This model also demonstrates why even after we’ve accomplished a fear inducing goal, why we may continue to still have fears. It’s important to note, that in most cases, the fear we are experiencing won’t be the same fear as before. As we choose to stretch ourselves to accomplish bigger or more challenging goals, new fears will arise due to the uncertainty of accomplishing those goals.
4. LEVERAGE THIS SELF-CONFIDENCE FORMULA
The following Self-Confidence Formula was derived from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’. 
We have found that it has the most optimal effect when it is read consistently, in its entirety, and aloud with deliberate energy every morning just after waking up.
By reading this mantra daily as a ritual, noticeable changes to your confidence levels may be experienced. As such, you will be positioning yourself to approach your fears with the heightened courage needed to conquer them. Here it is:
1. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life. Therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.
2. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.
3. I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object. Therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence.
4. I have clearly written down a description of my Definite Chief Aim in life. I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.
5. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice. Therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself. I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.
As part of this strategy, we’ve also included the following mantra, which was written by Walter D. Wintle.
This mantra is a great reminder of the power that thought has on our life outcomes. We’ve included it because it is such a helpful reminder on the power belief and mindset can have on how we show up in life.
With constant review, it can strengthen your belief in your ability to will change, and to use your mind to defeat the challenges that lay before you.
Related: Mantras For Success
5. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH AFFIRMATIONS
If you are not familiar with affirmations, they are essentially statements said to oneself, with conviction about a perceived truth. They are a way of programming one’s mind into believing what you are telling it.
Affirmations can be useful for strengthening our minds against a number of self-limiting beliefs. And they are especially affective for helping people manage a lack of confidence or a strong sense of fear towards doing something.
If you want to learn more about what affirmations are, and how to make them work for you, we highly recommend you read the Psychology Today article, by Ronald Alexander Ph.D. titled: ‘5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You’.
The following phrases are some of the most powerful Fear Conquering affirmations you can use. They are most impactful when read daily, out loud to yourself. It is especially effective if you look into a mirror, directly into your eyes, when reciting these affirmations (mirror technique not 100% necessary, especially if you are driving, etc.).
For the sixth one, just fill in the blank with whichever issue you are having doubts about, or fills you with fear due to self-perceived feelings of inadequacies.
For example; if you have a doubts that you aren’t a strong leader, recite the following: “I am a strong leader.” Similarly, if you fear you are not good public speaker, you can recite the following: “I am a great public speaker.” Also, if you fear you are not a good conversationalist, just recite the following: “I am a great conversationalist”, and so on and so forth.
You can also easily interchange the adjective of Great on this sixth affirmation with whichever one you wish to be more of, i.e. good, powerful, successful, calm, peaceful, happy, etc.
- I AM FEARLESS.
- WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN HANDLE IT.
- I EXUDE CONFIDENCE.
- I AM POWERFUL, POSITIVE, AND ENERGETIC.
- I LOVE MYSELF, AS WELL AS OTHERS.
- I AM A GREAT__________________.
If you’re looking for a more thorough list of affirmations to build your confidence, be sure to check out this resource: Affirmations For Confidence
With that being said, this next section includes a helpful diagram that can help you track how affirmations are impacting your feelings of empowerment over time. The exercise is optional, but it can help you observe and track progress.
PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT CONTINUUM DIAGRAM:
This is a powerful diagram that the late Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. inspired via her book, ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’. It has served as a very useful way to track my progress on my feelings of confidence.
With the knowledge that you can track how you feel about yourself, and how you perceive yourself in terms of handling your fears, you can gradually improve your situation. That which gets measured, can improve.
As such, this diagram is an excellent way to track your progress towards becoming more empowered via the affirmations you used, (or can be used to track your feelings of progress for the implementation of all mentioned strategies), towards building your confidence. How you measure yourself is purely subjective and relative to your situation, but then again, so is fear.
An important thing to keep in mind, is that the secret to handling our lack of confidence, is our ability to move ourselves from a place of pain (see left side of diagram), to a place of feeling empowered (see right side of diagram). When we are in a place of pain, we feel helpless, we feel depressed, have a feeling of paralysis (Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t want to do Anything), and are generally apathetic.
However, when we are empowered, we feel we are capable of making decisions. We have more energy, we take more action, and we conduct ourselves from a place of passion. Observe the diagram below.
When you’re feeling empowered, you’ll make better choices, have more energy, take more action, and feel a stronger sense of passion and well being in your life.
PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT TRACKING
Consider tracking the impact the affirmations are having on you at the end of each week. Practice your affirmations diligently, and then measure how you feel in each area to if they are working.
Take inventory of your progress towards becoming a bit more confident and a lot more fearless for the next 66 days, using the ‘pain to empower’ diagram. Simply add a check mark along the spectrum, pinpointing how you feel your empowerment levels rank on a scale from 1 – 8 at the end of every week (1 being the worst, and nearest to pain, and 8 being the best and nearest to feelings of empowerment). Tracking like this can help to provide a sense of accomplishment, which can help you push through the entire duration of the formula.
Here is what that measurement and tracking process could look like:
Quantify Results to Make Measurable Progress: Wherever you place your check mark on each of the four spectrums, you can use the location (1 -8) of that check mark as the number to enter in the boxes below. By doing this, you put a number to your progress.
In fact, at the end of each week, you can tally up your score for each spectrum (divide it by 4) and then enter it into the TOTAL SCORE box at the bottom. By quantifying your improvement, you can make measurable progress over time. For instance, the hypothetical total score on the next page is the total of each spectrum score, divided by 4. i.e. 7+4+6+8 = 25 so then 25 ÷ 4 equals 6.25
If you’re total score grows throughout the following weeks, keep doing what you’ve been doing, as a growing score signifies that you’re moving in the right direction.
Related: Affirmations For Success
6. INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE WITH VISUALIZATION
Cheryl Lossie, Ph.D., is a former lecturer of public speaking for Clemson University, and retired public-speaking lecturer who specialized in teaching some of the most fearless people on the planet, the U.S Special Forces, how to overcome their hesitancy of speaking in front of people, and how to do it well.
When we interviewed Dr. Lossie about what she recommended to her students (the fearless Special Ops folks) for overcoming their fears of public speaking, she informed us that it was to simply practice visualization.
Her recommendation coincided well with much of our research and experiences for overcoming fears, and it aligned with some of Tony Robbins’ research on how to overcome fear as well. As such, a great mental exercise that you can conduct to help you improve your confidence in doing that thing which you fear doing, is to simply practice visualization.
As a best practice to visualize effectively, it is recommended, that you sit in a quiet place, with no distractions, close your eyes, and then take 2 to 5 minutes to imagine yourself executing flawlessly (in addition rebounding flawlessly, if things do go as planned) that thing which you are so afraid of doing.
- If afraid of public speaking, see yourself giving a flawless presentation. Also, see yourself getting that standing ovation or that positive response you are seeking from your audience once you’ve finished wowing them.
- If it’s conducting an important staff-meeting, see yourself taking charge and crushing that meeting. Imagine in detail exactly what you plan on saying, how you will say it, and think what you will say in response to other attendees at the meeting.
- If it’s presenting a sales presentation to a client, see yourself giving a perfect sales presentation. Imagine also, every objection that might come your way, and see yourself handling those objections with grace and confidence.
- If it’s approaching that beautiful girl at the coffee shop, imagine yourself striking up a conversation confidently, and holding a great engaging conversation with the person. Imagine everything that could go right.
You may be asking yourself, ‘Is building confidence really this easy?’ And the answer to that question is yes, it is that easy, so long as you put in the time to visualize your ideal outcomes.
With that said, let’s move on to our next confidence building strategy.
7. BUILD CONFIDENCE WITH ENCOURAGING QUOTES
Below you will find 20 power quotes that you can reference at your leisure. Once you have read all of them, consider coming back to the ones that really speak to you.
The quote that moves you the most is the quote that will be most helpful to read when you need to take action on anything that you are resistant to do.
1. “Fear, the worst of all enemies, can be effectively cured by forced repetition of acts of courage.” – Napoleon Hill
2. “Fearlessness isn’t a divine gift. Fearlessness is a daily practice.” – Robin Sharma
3. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
4. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
5. “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle
6. “A human becomes fearless by accepting his/her fears. It is not a question of bravery. It is simply seeing into the facts of life and realizing that these fears are natural.” – Osho
7. “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
8. “Safe is Risky” – Seth Godin
9. “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting” – Karl Wallenda
10. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly ” – Robert F. Kennedy
11. “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T.S. Eliot
12. “Greatness lives on the edge of destruction” – Will Smith
13. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin
14. “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot: but make it hot by striking” – William B. Sprague
15. “It is never too late to be what you might have been” – George Elliot
16. “The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. ” – D.E.B Dubois
17. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
18. “The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything” – Dennis Waitely
19. “People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” – Peter Drucker
20. “It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all” – William James
If you’re looking for additional quotes to boost your confidence and help you life life fearlessly, these collections will do the trick:
8. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH THESE KEY QUESTIONS
The following four questions will bring a new level of clarity to every situation where fear or a lack of confidence may be involved. It is suggested that you honestly ask these questions of yourself.
Similarly, when faced with a future challenge or situation which induces anxiousness in you, ask yourselves these questions, and wait for your inside voice to answer the question for you.
After doing so, you should find that these questions have a calming effect on you, thus, gently banishing the fears that your mind has potentially built up around the task at hand. With that said, here are the questions:
Question 1: What is really on the other side of this thing I am fearing at the moment?
The answer is always… NOTHING.
Question 2: If I knew that I could handle anything that came my way, what would I possibly have to fear?
The answers is… NOTHING.
Question 3: If the worst possible outcome related to doing this thing that is making me so afraid, actually happened, would I be able to handle the outcome?
The answer is…YES.
Question 4: If I let this fear get the best of me, and allow it to keep me from doing that which am afraid to accomplish, will I, on my deathbed, regret that I had not made the decision to do that thing which I so feared?
The answer is… IT IS UP TO YOU.
Related: Books For Confidence
9. DIGEST THESE CONFIDENCE-BUILDING TED TALK VIDEOS
To help you increase your confidence while simultaneously minimizing fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, we’ve curated four classic Ted Talks you should watch. Our hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and overcome your fears rapidly.
Here are the videos:
VIDEO 1: AMY CUDDY
This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy. She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves.
In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves. Put another way, she demonstrates how you can manipulate your body to build confidence in yourself.
All in all, it’s full of great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless. Her last suggestion is what is most important. “Fake it till you Become it”.
VIDEO 2: TIM FERRISS
Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferris gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them. If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear.
His last two messages are by far the most important. “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”
VIDEO 3: JOE KOWAN
An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage. Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does.
It’s very powerful and it is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people. Click on the image above to watch.
VIDEO 4: JIA JANG
Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears. He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through. By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection.
Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.
10. FIND YOUR LIGHT
Why are we so afraid to do what we truly want in this life? Why are we always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions we make?
Too many of us tuck our dreams and true interests away in some small corner at the first sign of disapproval from others. We don’t follow our own heart, we don’t we follow our light. Why?
Robert Greene, said it so well in his book ‘Mastery’, as he pinpoints exactly what happens to so many people. In fact, it is what happens to all of us when we don’t follow our true inclinations. He states the following:
“Conforming to social norms, you will listen more to others than to your own voice. You may choose a career path based on what peers and parents tell you, or on what seems lucrative. If you lose contact with (your) inner calling, you can have some success in life, but eventually your lack of true desire catches up with you. Your work becomes mechanical. You come to live for leisure and immediate pleasures.” 
So, if you are afraid to do what you truly want in this life, don’t be. You only have one life to live, and none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.
If you are always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions you make, or cause you to doubt yourself, with respect all due respect, stop! Your opinions and interests matter, what interests you is important.
No more tucking your dreams and true interests away, no more hiding your talents because others may disapprove of them. If you want to live a confident and fearless life, you have to follow your dreams.
This is the last act, because it requires the most self-examination and courage to act on your insights; however, it also harnesses the most potential to help you become confident, act boldly, and live fearlessly.
Thus, to help you follow you fire, your light, your dreams, you first need to know exactly what it is that YOU want. As such, this strategy is essentially an exercise to help you discover what your calling is, so you can follow it.
Once you’ve completed the self-discovery process, your job is to then focus on bringing it to life by making plans to live it.
FIND YOUR CALLING EXERCISE
Here is a tool you can use to help you find your light, your fire, or whatever you want to call it.
Ultimately, it is a questionnaire that will help you bring more clarity to your life. Improved clarity leads to confidence, and confidence leads to action, and action eventually turns into results.
Give it a look here: Find Your Light Guide
By answering all of the questions in the guide provided, and giving each one your sincere and thorough consideration, you’ll discover a deeper awareness of who you are, what makes you happy, and what you should be doing with your life. All of these things will help you build confidence in yourself.
When every decision you make, every action you take is aligned with the fulfillment of the life objective you discover from this exercise, you will, without a doubt, have the confidence to truly live fearlessly.
BUILDING THE CONFIDENCE TO LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY
A final word of caution. There is nothing more crushing in your pursuit of becoming your absolute best or in deciding to become who you truly want to be, then by having someone within your inner circle questions your intentions and doubt your possibilities.
As you’ve probably experienced, fear and doubt can spread swiftly like a virus. As such, you must take proper precautions to make yourself immune to its infection.
A good starting point, in making yourself immune, is to understand that doubters are simply afraid. They are afraid of not living up to their potential, afraid that you may outshine them. These individuals, will claw and scrape, and try to hurt you, to keep you fearful of life, fearful of your very best.
Often times, they don’t do this consciously. It’s their subconscious insecurities that compel them to lash out. And they lash out at you because they have yet to find the courage to face their fears and pursue their potential as you do.
If possible, remove these doubters from your life. Remove, as best as you can, anyone who doubts your potential, who doubts your skills, your abilities, your choices, your greatness.
If you can’t completely remove these people from your life, then distance yourself from them. Spend as little time around them as possible, so as to minimize their negative influences on you.
If distancing yourself from them is not an option, then you must create a mental firewall to negate their negativity, to negate their doubts. A simple way to do this, is to convince yourself that their judgement no longer holds the weight that it once had.
Begin at once, to see yourself as a lion, and ‘them’ as the sheep (because that’s what they are) and reinforce your mental firewall with the following thought….
A final word of encouragement. Congratulations, you now know how to build confidence in yourself. You are truly equipped with the tools to become as confident as you want to be. The choice to embrace your new found confidence and live life fearlessly is now solely up to you.
We encourage you to decide to be confident today, to make the decision to believe that you can handle whatever this world throws at you. If you make this simple decision, and practice our recommended strategies, you will in effect be choosing to be fearless, and as a result, you will be.
If the fears and doubts begin to creep back in, remember that you can rely on the power of belief and the power of pursuit, to drive your fears away.
As you move forward to build confidence in yourself, towards taking on new and greater challenges, we are sure everything in life will begin to change for you.
Believe that you can do whatever it is that you wish to do. Have faith in yourself, have faith in your vision, believe that you deserve the best, because my friend, you do.
STRIVE To Go Fearless!
 Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 22.
 David J. Schwartz Ph.D., The Magic of Thinking Big (New York: Prentice Hall, 1965), 52.
 Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 36.
 Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 57,58.
 Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 59, 60.
 Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 26.
 Robert Greene, Mastery (New York: Penguin Group, 2012), 13,14.
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