I was at the gym the other day, and the following random thought popped into my head, “Too many of us spend way too much effort trying to appear normal.”
In that moment I realized two things. The first; was how powerful this natural urge that we all have to be ‘normal’ is. The second thing; was how destructive this urge can be, especially if we harbor dreams of doing grander things with our lives.
I recognized that if we are always over concerned with what others think of us, we set ourselves up for living a very limited and potentially boring life.
I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of freedom. knowing I have the freedom to grow, the freedom to expand, and the freedom to become whoever the hell I want to be, is exhilarating.
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” – Maya AngelouTweet Quote
So with that thought, I decided to provide 5 reasons why you should stop trying so hard to be normal. Consider it permission to stop being normal so you can start being you.
1 – You’ll Be Authentic
When you try to always fit in, you risk losing a real part of yourself. You give up your authenticity. This is not a good thing, because your authenticity is what everyone really, truly, and deep down likes about you.
There is only one of you in this very big world of ours, and when you try to be anything but yourself, you risk becoming an inauthentic person…a clone. Clone = No Bueno.
2 – No One is Normal
No one is really normal. Haven’t you ever heard the quote, “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” – Alfred Adler
From my experience this quote is spot on. There are tons of people who seemingly exhaust themselves every moment of every day of their lives, trying to portray their ‘normalcy’. But when all is said and done, and we finally get to know the real person behind the mask, the reality is much different.
So just cut to the chase, lose the mask, and be yourself.
3 – You’ll Increase Your Potential
When we constantly seek other people’s approval, we waste valuable energy doing so. Energy that could have been used much more effectively if only we channeled it towards our strengths.
If we put too much energy into always appearing normal, we risk stunting our personal growth. And if we stunt our personal growth, we limit our life’s potential.
Don’t waste your time and energy pretending to be someone your not. Your potential will thank you for it.
4 – Improve Your Time Management
If you focus too much on what other people think of you all the time, you risk doing things you don’t necessarily want to do. For instance, you can get so caught up in trying to please some of your ‘friends’ or family members, just so they won’t judge you, that you agree to do things that are counterproductive to your life.
Don’t spread yourself thin for the sake of someone else’s perception of you. Life is too short, and time is too valuable.
5 – You Can Impact Others
When you decide to stop being normal you can truly impact others. By courageously choosing to be yourself and to letting your unique-self shine; you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
Imagine that, someone else getting fired up to go out there and conquer their fears and the world, all because of some small acts of courage you displayed in deciding to be you.
The real you is a life changer, an impact maker.
Normal means average, and average my friend is the opposite of awesome. Hopefully these 5 reasons will entice you to consider just how much is a risk when you try to be anything but yourself.
So please, do me and yourself a huge favor and decide to stop being normal. Be bold, start being you…and embrace your personal greatness.
Till next time,
Go be YOU!
PS – Unleashing the true you is hard, some would say scary, but when you use this little tool, and it won’t be.
20 BEST BOOKS ON CONFIDENCE TO LEVEL UP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
Self-confidence; it’s something everyone points to when they say why they aren’t succeeding. Hence our need to create this particular post on self confidence books.
Because let’s admit it. At one time or another we’ve all blamed ourselves and our lack of confidence for why something didn’t go as planned in our life.
It could have been that date that didn’t go so well, the botched job interview, or even that business deal that fell through. Whatever the case may be, many times, a lack of confidence is the culprit.
We say to ourselves, “I just don’t have enough confidence.”
But that’s not true. It’s not true, because confidence is not something you have, rather, it is something you create.
Confidence is a Choice
Confidence is a state of mind, a feeling, and a way of being that can be created at will. So, in a way, it’s a choice.
When you come to understand this, you’ll be able to turn on your confidence at a moment’s notice. And when you know how to do this, you’ll start finding more of the success you seek.
Now I can tell you this truth over and over again until I am blue in the face, but, it will never be real to you until you’ve deeply ingrained this fact into your own mind.
And the best way to ingrain this fact into your own mind, is to become a student of confidence.
No, you don’t have to sign up for college courses to become a student of confidence.
To become a student of confidence all you have to do is… read. You must read and study books on the subject of confidence.
Simple right? So where should you start?
Start with this list. I’ve pulled together a list of the best books on building self-confidence that I’ve ever come across. No doubt, there are hundreds of books on confidence, but let’s be honest, who (aside from Ph.D. students) has the time to read hundreds of books on a single topic?
Exactly, hardly anyone!
So, if you want to master confidence and improve your self-esteem, just read a handful of the following books recommended on confidence and you should be good to go. You don’t have to read hundreds of books on confidence to learn the fundamentals. Trust me, this handful of books will do the trick.
Every book provides something different, yet, every single one also confirms what I just said…
Which is, that how confident you become is completely up to you, because confidence is all in your head.
So, behold the 20 Books you must read if you ever wish to master self-confidence:
20 Best Books on Building Self-Confidence
[Full Disclosure: Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.]
1. Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway
‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ is a classic book by the late Dr. Susan Jeffers. In this book, Susan Jeffers offers up solid advice for overcoming the paralysis and inaction that stems from being fearful and lacking confidence. Susan Jeffers pulls her knowledge from many years of research, and lecturing on the topic of transforming fear, indecision, and even anger into power, action, and extreme confidence.
The book contains a handful of practical insights and exercises that you can immediately implement to help you come to the realization that confidence is something to be nurtured and cultivated, much like a muscle.
This book is both an eye-opener and a solid book to begin with on your journey towards building your confidence.
2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fear, doubt, and worry can be debilitating. Possessing just one of these problems can indeed stop the best of us from reaching the heights of success we seek. How so? Because fear and doubt kills self-confidence. And if success demands anything, it demands self-confidence.
This book is comprised of many recipes Mr. Carnegie pulled together from night classes he would teach to adult students on how to overcome worry.
‘How to Start Worrying and Start Living’ is a cure for anyone who wishes to eliminate the debilitating effects of fear and worry from their lives, so they fortify their confidence and get on with succeeding in their life.
3. Unstoppable Confidence
This book touches on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to help you get out of your comfort zone and master your self-confidence. If you are unfamiliar with NLP, it is basically a scientific approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy that delivers practical ways in which you can change the way you think, view past events, and approach your life.
Much of this book uses ideas and concepts that Tony Robbins suggests for improving self-confidence, and they’ll work for you too. ‘Unstoppable Confidence’ can teach you how to harness confidence levels that will make you, well…unstoppable.
4. Think and Grow Rich
‘Think and Grow Rich’ is so much more than a confidence book, it is a success book. However, the author, Napoleon Hill, understood that success requires a strong foundation built on self-confidence.
As such, the book provides a handful of potent insights and formulas that can help you gain the confidence you’ll need to start growing more successful, and yes even richer in your life.
This book is a must read for every person. If you practice his self-confidence formula alone, you can dramatically improve your confidence in no time at all.
5. How to Talk to Anyone
Many people are confident in just about everything they do. But for some people, when it comes to talking to people, they clam up, get anxious, and come across as less than self-assured.
If you’ve ever felt a lack of confidence when communicating with colleagues, strangers, or the opposite sex, this book can help you with crushing those feelings of uncertainty. Not only does this book educate on the nuances of confidence, but it gives you practical and effective tactics that you can employ immediately that will make you appear poised and self-assured, even if you’re not 100% there mentally. In other words, this book will help you fake it till you make it.
Having confidence when speaking with people is one of the most important skills you could acquire for successfully navigating your way to the top of your career. So, if you know your confidence lacks in the ‘people department’ then you must read this book.
6. The Magic of Thinking Big
In this book, Dr. Schwartz touches on many key areas that we all need to improve on to start succeeding in life. Much of the book revolves around improving how you think about situations, people, and your future. It deals with how to improve you attitude and perspectives, which in turn will help you to start taking the action necessary to reach your BIG goals.
Chapters 3 ‘Build Confidence and Destroy Fear’, Chapter 10 ‘Get the Action Habit’, Chapter 11 ‘How to Turn Defeat into Victory’, and Chapter 13 ‘How to Think Like a Leader’ are the most effective chapters for building your self-confidence.
All in all, this is one of my favorite self confidence books, and its probably the one confidence building book you can’t afford to miss.
7. How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking
Dale Carnegie has created the perfect toolset for helping people dial into their confidence at will. This book contains multiple confidence boosting tips that will help you acquire poise, increase your memory, improve the delivery of your message, and appear more charming to everyone you interact with.
This book was created to teach people how to overcome their fears of public speaking; however, the strategies he provides to help you increase your confidence to speak in front of large audiences can also be applied towards overcoming other confidence issues in other areas of your life.
How you ask? Because when you master public speaking, you simultaneously wipe out your timidity and gain the courage and assurance to deal with people. In short, confidence gained in one department will help you gain the confidence you may need in others.
8. You Are a Badass
‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero, is not specifically geared towards improving confidence; however, it covers a wide range of self-improvement topics that when combined, can help you strengthen your over all sense of self, and with that, your confidence.
Within the book there is a chapter specifically for confidence, titled, ‘Fear Is For Suckers’. This chapter provides some great perspectives on fear and confidence that can help you significantly boost your confidence.
Amy Cuddy is the famous TED talk professor who first acquainted us with power poses and using our physiology to increase our confidence levels.
Well, she helps deliver a similar message in this book, and she does it with detail and backs it all up with solid research.
When you read this book, be prepared to learn about the power of your personal story, how to overcome impostor syndrome, and how to utilize you posture to level up your confidence.
As a student of confidence, this is one book you won’t want to miss.
10. The Confidence Gap
This book is a great confidence book to compliment the others already mentioned. This book does what it says, it fills the confidence gap.
How does it do this? Well, it does this by giving the readers a different perspective on dealing with their confidence or lack thereof. Russ Harris offers a novel solution to confidence by encouraging you to form a different relationship with your confidence, instead of trying to force yourself to overcome your confidence limitations.
In this book you will learn about the power of mindfulness and some techniques for keeping your negative thoughts and feelings at bay so your confidence levels can soar.
This book is certainly worth the read and it will truly help fill some of the confidence gaps we all face.
11. The Power of Self-Confidence
Brian Tracy is a seasoned sales/business guru who knows a thing or two about success. Truth is, it is hard to lose with Brian Tracy in your corner. He’s pushed out countless resources ranging from self-discipline, to time-management, to self-confidence.
And in just about all of his resources, you’ll hear him mention the importance of your inner-game, of your mindset and how you feel about yourself.
Without a doubt, this book will help you understand why it is so essential to have faith in your abilities and believe in yourself.
Read this book and build the unshakable confidence you know deep down in your heart you are capable of wielding.
12. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence
Comfort is the kiss of death to success. And in this book, you will learn why.
As such, you’ll find plenty of admonishments in this book to step outside of your comfort zone, and in so doing, dramatically strengthen your confidence levels.
If you are okay with real-talk, truth, and zero punches being pulled, you will enjoy this book. Beware though, this is not a PG book. It will speak to you as an adult, so be prepared for a good push.
13. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
This book will wake you up to what true confidence is all about. Author, Nathaniel Branden provides firm answers to questions we all have related to our confidence and self-esteem.
If you’re looking for answers, you’ll find them here. You’ll learn what self-esteem really is, you’ll learn why it is so important to cultivate it, how you can increase your own self-esteem levels, and what role our external environment (other people) plays in our confidence levels.
Without a doubt, you’ll be sure to find many ‘Aha!’ moments in this book, and a solid foundation to building up your self-esteem, and with it, your confidence.
Related: Become an Extrovert, Even If Shy
14. Unleash The Warrior Within
‘Unleash The Warrior Within’ is authored by former Navy SEAL Richard Machowicz. And as you’d suspect, he provides tons of confidence boosting strategies that he acquired from his time in the military.
Richard has you break down your fears into smaller, bite sized components, making them much easier to attack. He also spends time educating his readers on the importance of mindset.
As a fan of the warrior ethos, I enjoy how the author combats those areas of our lives that can hold us back and keep us from doing what we need to do most to achieve our goals. If you want more confidence, read this book, you can’t go wrong.
Don’t let the name of this book scare you. It may sound daunting and super scientific, but rest assured that the material contained within it will be easy to digest and better yet, easy to implement towards building up your self-confidence.
The author of the book, Maxwell Maltz holds a Ph.D. and lays out his years of his experience and observation on how powerful self-image is when it comes to helping us achieve the results we are after.
You’ll learn about the power of perception, self-esteem, and how large a role our self-image can play in our ability to achieve. In addition to this, you’ll learn some powerful strategies you can employ to immediately and positively impact your confidence levels. So, If you’re looking for a time tested book on confidence that is based in science, this is a book everyone should read.
16. The Power of Positive Thinking
I know what your thinking, what does positive thinking have to do with Confidence. But here me out. This book, with out a doubt belongs in this selection of the best books on confidence because of the wisdom provided chapter after chapter by the late great Norman Vincent Peale specifically for helping its readers lead a more positive and confident life.
Now, just as a heads up, the wisdom provided in this great book does have religious undertones too them; however, this is exactly where much of the power of this book comes in to play. So, if you are not religious, or don’t care for biblical references you can skip this book and read all the others, BUT, I assure you, you’ll be cutting yourself short if you do so. If you’ve read all the confidence books in the world, and yet you still feel like you are coming up short in the confidence department, well then you’ll definitely want to invest in this book. It WILL help your conquer your confidence and self-esteem challenges and instill in you the faith to conquer your internal/external fears.
17. Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It
This is a great book to add to your library of books that can help you boost your confidence levels. The premise of the books revolves around what negative self-talk is, why you should work to minimize the amount of it you do, and how to go about doing so.
It really is a great tool/book to consider for helping you build your confidence because of the important role our self-talk plays in how we feel about ourselves. Essentially, lots of negative self-talk leads to feeling less confident and less negative self-talk essentially leads to feeling more confident.
As such, this is a worthy book to own to help you get a handle on your negative inner voice, and as a result, positively improve your confidence levels.
18. The 5 Second Rule
Mel Robbins brings a whole new definition to confidence in this book. She’ll help dispel the myth the confidence is merely a lack of belief in yourself, but rather, it’s the willingness or unwillingness to try.
Without a doubt, you’ll walk away from this book realizing that confidence is related to action. And you’ll begin to realize that confidence doesn’t start with belief, but rather, confidence starts with action. And since Mel’s book is primarily about action, we could not deny adding her book to our invaluable list of books on confidence.
So, use this book to push yourself to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.
19. Daring Greatly
Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly is the wake up call we all need. She doesn’t pull any punches and definitely tells it like it is in this book. Which is why it made the cut for our no B.S. list of self-confidence books. The biggest take away you’ll get from this book is that it is okay to be vulnerable. Her book provides a great combination of solid research and casual storytelling that will help you ease into being more being more vulnerable. And the more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the more confident you’ll become as you come to realize you can handle whatever it is life is happening to throw your way.
So, if you’re looking for a book to dare you to step outside of your comfort zone, to be bigger than your anxieties, and to get you living and leading more confidently, then this book is a must read.
20. Never Finished
This last book is not your typical confidence book. It doesn’t give you tips or strategies to specifically zero-in on your confidence. In fact, Goggins states it himself in the book, it’s not a self-help book. But, what this book does do, is it helps you reframe your thinking.
‘Never Finished’ provides insight after insight to help you see yourself in a different light. It also includes stories that demonstrate that you are more than you are, and that you can do more than you’ve done. All in all, the lessons within this book will improve your mental strength and ultimately help you become aware of your true potential.
So give it a read if you’re serious about building up your confidence, because there’s nothing more confident than a mentally strong person who believes in their limitless potential.
Bonus Confidence Book
‘Go Fearless’ is a synthesis of the best confidence building strategies from many of the self confidence books just mentioned. After going from outgoing and confident to feeling shy and withdrawn for many years, I set out to re-discover the confidence and fearlessness I had in my youth. After learning how to bounce back into the outgoing and confident person I knew I was capable of being, I decided to share what I learned.
This book does not waste your time with drawn out stories or background, it gives you exactly what you need to know, NOW, so you can get started on building your confidence ASAP.
If there were ever a shortcut to learning how to master self-confidence, this book would be it. It’s a confidence building workbook, a tool, and a true call to action.
So, if you’re looking for a no B.S. guide to help you start living your life like a lion, and not a lamb, go read this free book and ‘Go Fearless’! Your future self will thank you for it.
Check out this solid list of books I found. If you’re looking for a few books to help you boost your confidence, these will help! Tweet This
Final Words on These Self Confidence Books
There you have it, the 20 best books you can read to get started on mastering the one thing that can make all the difference in how much success you’ll find in your life; confidence.
After you’ve read these books for self-confidence improvement, you’ll realize that having a sense of confidence is nothing but a sense of power within yourself, a sense of certainty that you can pull off just about anything.
Read these books and you’ll finally come to understand what confidence really is, and you’ll learn that you have the power to create it at any moment in time.
To Your Success!
PS – If you’ve enjoyed this article on the best self confidence books, then you’ll also enjoy this piece on ‘The 7 Ways to Gain Instant Confidence’.
100+ CONFIDENCE QUOTES TO BOOST YOUR SELF-WORTH
Self-confidence; that highly desirable quality which all too often escapes our grasp. When we see someone who has it, it’s hard to miss. When we possess it, all things seem limitless. No doubt, through confidence we thrive. Having confidence improves everything from our relationships to how high in life we feel we can climb.
But, when we lack it, we struggle. Indeed, the absence of confidence can make us feel like we live in a bubble. The problem with confidence is people think it’s something we are born with, it’s not. No, confidence is something people can build, it’s something that you can be taught.
Truth is, there is no secret to self-confidence, and anyone can wield it. Introverted and reserved people can be confident, even those who are naturally quiet. The reason this is, is because confidence is a state of mind. It’s something that can be turned on at any moment in time.
So, use these powerful quotes to boost your self-confidence. Then, get out there and mix it up in the world, and trust in your new found providence.
BEST CONFIDENCE QUOTES TO BOOST YOUR SELF WORTH
1. “When you have confidence, you have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” – Joe Namath
2. “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself. – Tony Robbins
3. “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” – Maxwell Maltz
4. “Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.” – Venus Williams
5. “All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence.” – David J. Schwartz
6. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes
“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. ForbesTweet Quote
7. “Whatever you say, say it with conviction.” – Mark Twain
8. “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. – Thomas Carlyle
9. “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Petere T. Mcintyre
10. “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” – Vince Lombardi
11. “Insist on yourself, never imitate.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
12. “Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.” – Brian Tracy
13. “We are what we believe we are.” – C.S. Lewis
14. “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” – Unknown
15. “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” – Jack Nicklaus
16. “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent Peale
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent PealeTweet Quote
17. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
18. “You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.” – Dr. Robert Anthony
19. “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
20. “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan
21. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
22. “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe
23. “Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” – Richard Kline
24. “The man who achieves makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing.” – Benjamin Franklin
25. “It’s a dead-end street if you sit around waiting for someone else to tell you you’re okay.” – Michael Pitt
26. “My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything, even if you have no clue what you are doing.” – Jessica Alba
“My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything, even if you have no clue what you are doing.” – Jessica AlbaTweet Quote
27. “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson
28 “Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.” – Richard Bach
29. “The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.” – Anon
30. “Insecurity kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Unknown
31. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James
32. “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” – Johnny Depp
33. “People who want the most approval get the least and the people who need approval the least get the most.” – Wayne Dyer
“People who want the most approval get the least and the people who need approval the least get the most.” – Wayne DyerTweet Quote
34. “Confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage.” – Mel Robbins
35. “You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar
36. “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford
37. “To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” – Denis Waitley
38. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” – Andre Dubus
39. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
40. “Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – Rumi
“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – RumiTweet Quote
41. “Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese proverb
42. “The process of building self confidence is actually very easy. Self-confidence is self trust. Self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself… that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you.” – Ed Mylett
43. “The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.” – Francois De La Rochefoucauld
“The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.” – Francois De La RochefoucauldTweet Quote
44. “Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
45. “Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel
46. “Confidence is not holding back the deck of cards of your weaknesses. Confidence is a comfort with vulnerability.” – Brendon Burchard
“Confidence is not holding back the deck of cards of your weaknesses. Confidence is a comfort with vulnerability.” – Brendon BurchardTweet Quote
47. “Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.” -George Herbert
48. “Confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a result of something … hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” – Roger Staubach
49. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
50. “With confidence, you have won before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey
51. “Self-confidence is the ability to exercise restraint in the face of disrespect and still show respect in response.” – Simon Sinek
52. “Money can’t buy confidence. You become confident when you are disciplined and ethical.” – Grant Cardone
53. “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von GoetheTweet Quote
54. “Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess.” – Sabrina Carpenter
55. “No one will believe in you until you believe in you.” – Robin Sharma
56. “If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” – Dale Carnegie
“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” – Dale CarnegieTweet Quote
57. “Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” – Stan Smith
58. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain
59. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I loved through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” – Eleanor Roosevelt
60. “Confidence is not ‘They will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be find if they don’t’.” – Christina Grimme
“Confidence is not ‘They will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be find if they don’t’.” – Christina GrimmeTweet Quote
61. “If someone is judging you, that’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.” – Mel Robbins
62. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel
63. “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively
64. “Accept yourself, then others will.” – Self-Confidence Quote
65. “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey
66. “It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah Winfrey
“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah WinfreyTweet Quote
67. “A great man is always willing to be little.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
68. “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu
69. “Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.” – Stewart Stafford
70. “Confidence is the willingness to try.” – Mel Robbins
71. “Confidence is not something you are born with, it is developed over time and through experiences.” – Atlas Rowe
72. “Self-esteem comes from achievements. Not from lack standards and false praise.” – Condoleezza Rice
73. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Baruch
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. BaruchTweet Quote
74. “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” – Zen Shin
75. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
76. “Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” – Confidence quote
“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” – Confidence quoteTweet Quote
77. “If you believe in yourself and feel confident in yourself, you can do anything. I really believe that.” – Karlie Kloss
78. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” – Anonymous
79. “You don’t have to change who you are, you have to become more of who you are.” – Sally Hogshead
80. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
81. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale
82. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
83. “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” – Nora Roberts
84. “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Edison
85. “Confidence is believing in yourself. Arrogance is telling others you’re better than they are. Confidence inspires. Arrogance destroys.” – Simon Sinek
86. “The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.” – James Madison
“The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.” – James MadisonTweet Quote
87. “Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.” – Kanye West
88. “Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne W. Dyer
89. “If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” – Henry David Thoreau
90. “People feed off of your passion and your confidence.” – Sara Blakely
91. “Accustom yourself to criticism. Confidence is important, but if it is not based on a realistic appraisal of who you are, it is mere grandiosity and smugness.” – Robert Greene
92. “Confidence is directness and courage in meeting the facts of life.” – John Dewey
93. “Show me a self-confident person who also has humility and I will show you somebody with an amazing future.” – Ed Mylett
“Show me a self-confident person who also has humility and I will show you somebody with an amazing future.” – Ed MylettTweet Quote
94. “Everything you need is within you, the strength, the courage and confidence to change your life. You just need to look within yourself and find it.” – Amanda Ray
95. “Confidence is built by doing the right things, not buying things.” – Grant Cardone
96. “Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard Branson
“Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard BransonTweet Quote
97. “Don’t worry what others think of you, be confident and straightforward with decency and others will respect you.” – Lori Greiner
98. “You defeat defeatism with confidence.” – Vince Lombardi
99. “There’s confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level competition, whatever the sport it. Whether it’s boxing or wrestling, or whatever.” – Joe Rogan
100. “Confidence is the hand-maiden of success.” – Zig Ziglar
Bonus Self-Confidence Quote
Bonus: Alright, here’s our last and final quote on confidence. It’s one of our favorites and demonstrates why self-confidence starts with you are decision to be or not be confident.
“If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom Brady
“If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom BradyTweet Quote
Become Who You Can Be With These Confidence Quotes
There you have it, the top 100+ self-confidence quotes that have the power to boost your state of mind, and with it, your confidence.
Use these inspiring quotes to grow, and to move you forward…to leave that old less confident you, behind.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed these confidence quotes then you’ll REALLY LOVE this post…. ‘How to Become an Extrovert Even if You’re Shy’.
BEST TIPS FOR OVERCOMING FEAR TO ACHIEVE YOUR BEST LIFE
If you’re looking for some practical tips for overcoming fear you’ve come to the right place. In this post we will be providing you with a handful of some of the most effective strategies to help you overcome fears so you can ultimately improve your life.
Before we get started, it’s probably a good idea to first establish what fear actually is. So, as a standard fear is best defined as, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”
Fear is also that sinking feeling in your stomach telling you to abandon ship. It’s that’s self-doubt and self-consciousness you feel every so often wrapped into one.
But, fear can be a good thing. It can be a good thing because it is something that can lead you to success. Fear instinctually tells us to run the other way. Which means it also simultaneously shows us where the opportunities lie.
Thus, learning to love your fear is the first step to becoming the best version of yourself.
Our brains are easily programmable. Fear exists when there aren’t enough reference points for the mind to articulate reality. Without attempting to tackle fears, they become insurmountable in our minds. The moment these fears are tested however, they begin to show us the light.
How to Start Overcoming Fear
That said, here’s how you can start overcoming fear in your own life. First things first; your fear will control you up until the moment you deal with it. It will always be lingering at the back of your mind – waiting to strike.
Fear doesn’t want you to step up and take a risk. Fear would rather you stay in your comfort zone while it gets fed by your constant anxiety. In short, fear is what helps you stay alive.
However, in this day and age, overcoming fear is required if you wish to thrive. You HAVE to face your fears to get anywhere in life. Without facing your fears you won’t ever know what it means to dive headfirst into the unknown. You’ll always be looking for the safe route in life – safe is easy. But, safe doesn’t get you anywhere.
Thus, the only real way to overcome fear, is to ultimately face it. That said, there are a few shortcuts that one can take to ultimately inch closer even the most fearful person, closer to facing theirs.
Which is why we created this powerful set of tips for overcoming fear. We want to help you overcome the obstacles that hold too many people back from facing their fears and living their best lives. So, let’s dive in and get you on your way to better understanding your fears, so you ultimately overcome them once and for all.
BEST TIPS FOR OVERCOMING FEAR
1) Acknowledge Where Fear Comes From
Fear comes from the mind’s inability to understand a scenario without evidence. Your fears don’t define you – it’s just the mind’s way of coping with the unknown. Being afraid is normal.
The issue stems from letting these fears run rampant. The mind requires evidence to make conclusions, without facing your fears the resulting anxiety begins to multiply. Realize that fears are untested thoughts and the control they have over you starts to dwindle.
2) Your Fears Want the Best
Fears do attempt to stop us from bettering ourselves but they want us to become the best version of ourselves. It’s irony at its best. Let fear control you or control your fear and be rewarded.
The gut feeling that you’re scared is how you know you’re on the right track. You’re venturing into the unknown, the mind feels it’s at risk. Give the mind the evidence it needs to stop being scared. Let your mind make evidence-based conclusions and understand that the projections we imagine don’t hold up in reality.
3) You Grow in Discomfort
How do you know you’re making progress? You feel uncomfortable.
Facing your fears is the ultimate discomfort. You’re letting your mind know that you are willing to object comfort. Letting yourself be uncomfortable goes against the grain, your entire reality is at risk.
And you know what? Let your reality get shattered. Let the mind see that your fears are nothing but jumped-the-gun conclusions. The more you face your fears, the more you begin embracing them. The growth you gain by tackling your discomfort is incomprehensible.
4) You Make Your Own Reality
Are you going to sit patiently and hope good things come to you?
Or would you rather defy reality and get what it is you want out of life?
Overcoming your fears is the difference between winners and losers. No one will live your life for you, you must make yourself be heard. Without ever taking risks, you’ll be right where you started.
Instead of sitting quietly, ask your boss for the raise you deserve. Ask the girl/guy out that you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks. Sign up for that rock climbing class.
Opportunities are ripe for the taking.
5) Fear is Your Guiding Light
Embrace your fears. Begin a romantic relationship with the fact that you feel human. Start loving the feeling inside of your stomach that’s attempting to keep you safe. Fear wants you to stay right where you are, it’s telling you exactly what you need to know.
Walking right into your fears rather than running. When emotions are left undealt with, they run rampant. It’s your mission to understand yourself better, to dive deep into uncomfortable emotions. Thrive in your fear.
6) Be a Badass
The amount of self-confidence you gain from fear busting is immense. You’ll go from sitting in a corner, paralyzed from fear to understanding that your fears on a deep level are helping you rather than hurting. You can become a badass by simply choosing to take baby steps towards overcoming your deepest fears.
You can also fake it till you make it, walk with a bit more swagger. Think, walk, and act like the badass you want to be, and you’ll become it.
You only have one life to live. It’ll take you a split-second of your time to face fear. You’re trading off a second of your life for self-confidence that lasts a lifetime. It’s hard to say no to that!
7) Change Your Perspective
Change your perspective. If you don’t feel fear, something is wrong.
Fear drives us to jump. Without this compelling urge to investigate, to make a change, we would never strive to better ourselves. Imagine what your life would look like without fear, it’d be boring as hell!
Most people don’t realize the incredible transformational power that fear holds. The ones that seek fear are the ones that seek opportunities and take risks. Risk-taking is how you develop intuition. So, strive to see fear from a different perspective.
Feel the fear, and do that thing that you fear anyway.
8) Build a Social Circle that Pushes You
You need to find likeminded people who are also pushing their boundaries. These friends are the people who will be there to remind you that your fear is unsubstantiated. There will be moments where you need that extra push off the proverbial cliff.
It’s easy to give advice but to practice what you preach can be difficult. Find a group of people who are pushing themselves constantly as they will push you when needed. Pushing the envelope gets a bit easier when a friend reminds you that you’ll be ok in the end.
9) Face Your Fear TODAY
Time gets faster as we grow older. Blink and you might miss the next few years.
You don’t have time to wait. Life will be over before you know it. You’ll want to relish the action you took and the braveness you showed throughout your life. You won’t remember the times that you sat at home with your favorite ice cream watching Netflix. The memories that stick are ones that impact our lives.
How many years of staying in your comfort zone need to go by before you take action?
You’ll be ok. Your fear wants the best in you. You won’t recognize yourself if you continue facing your fears, day after day. The best version of yourself is waiting to be unleashed.
Don’t wait until it’s too late.
It’s in Your Hands
You’ve been given all the tools. The rest is up to you. Here’s a quick recap for you to help these tips stick:
- Acknowledge Where Fear Comes From
- Understand Why You Feel Fear
- Known That Discomfort Is Your Friend
- Take Action and Create Opportunities
- Learn To Embrace The Feeling of Fear
- Think Of Yourself as a Badass
- Change Your Perspective On What You Fear
- Build a Social Circle That Pushes You
- Adopt a ‘Just Do It’ Attitude
Your fears are ready to be faced. Your inner being is ready to face the challenge.
You will grow, and you will transform if you take action. So take some action, any action, because the rest of your life is going to be made up by the actions taken today.
Till you’ve overcome your fears,
PS – If you enjoyed this write-up on overcoming fear, then you’ll likely also enjoy these popular Ted Talks on how to crush your fears.
HOW TO BECOME AN EXTROVERT AND OVERCOME SHYNESS FOREVER
Have you ever found yourself dreaming about someday speaking in front of large audiences, being the life of a party at a networking event, or working closely with teams of people to complete a big project; only to later think to yourself that perhaps this fanciful idea is unlikely because, well…you’re shy?
Want to Learn How to Become an Extrovert?
Look, all I mean, is that you probably like to keep to yourself, you don’t really enjoy being in large group settings, you don’t fancy small talk, but, you do aspire to achieve big goals and grand achievements. You know, the kind that seems to favor those with an outgoing and gregarious personality.
If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you are not alone. In fact, there are heaps of people who are in the same boat. Thousands and thousands of people want to know how to overcome shyness too. The great news is, your vision of success and ambitions don’t have to be put on hold just because you are an introvert.
I used to be an introvert. I still am actually. I’ve just found a way to camouflage my introverted inclinations. Put another way, I’ve learned some interpersonal and social communication strategies that allow me to “cloak” my introversion. I’ve learned how to become an extrovert.
And the great news is, anybody can do it. Including you!
“There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.” – Carl YungTweet Quote
The Outgoing Introvert
These days, most people would think me to be an extrovert. I’ve been called gregarious, outgoing, social, and even the life of the party before. If I were to believe what others have said about me, I would have to consider myself an extrovert.
But the truth is, I know myself, and I am far from it. I have had my moments in the past where I’ve let loose and just let my guard/hair down. You know, just going with flow and letting my voice be heard. Of course, in most of those past instances, imbibing several alcoholic beverages was typically involved.
It was in those moments that I learned through the eyes of others, my ability to be an extrovert, even though I wasn’t one at heart. I say this, because for the most part, I really am a low-key individual.
I am the type of person who has no problem keeping to himself all day long, and getting lost in my work. And typically, I still prefer to not attend large social events. Networking is not much fun for me, and I still find myself avoiding group events (from time to time), especially if I can get away with it.
Fortunately, in the instance that I must “get social”, or when I must speak in front of large groups of people, I can now do it with ease and in a way where others actually suspect me to be some type of social-butterfly.
And quite astonishingly, zero ‘drinks’ are needed.
“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” – Susan CainTweet Quote
Learning to Become an Extrovert
If you’re wondering “Well, how is he able to do this?” Let me first give you some background as to how I acquired such strategies. Then I’ll give you some ways to help you do the same.
Years ago, I got fed up with my job working as an analyst for an engineering firm, and decided to jump into selling real estate. If you know anything about analytics or engineering, you’re probably aware, that by and large, people in this profession are very reserved, analytical, and keen on staying out of the public eye. In short, social is not their strong suite.
Similarly, real estate agents, or sales professionals in general are quite the opposite of the engineer or analytics professional. They are outgoing, talkative, easy to be around, and bluntly put, social.
As a novice real estate agent who thrust himself into the deep waters of sales, with zero sales experience, and with the social inclinations of an engineer, one could say that drowning was imminent.
The Miracle of Action
Business was not booming, and my savings were taking a nose dive week by week for three months straight. So, I did what any person in such a situation would do, I started to flail. In my case, this flailing consisted of putting myself out there 10x more than I was already doing.
It consisted of reading a handful of books on communication, sales, psychology. It also consisted of practicing, a concept that I had long forgotten since my days playing college football. A concept that seemed quite foreign in a working world where the only time people seem to be concerned with their work, was from 9 to 5.
Miraculously, I found a way to transform myself into an extrovert when it mattered most. And I ultimately became the type of person my goals needed me to be.
And now I want to share what I learned with you. So, to help you overcome shyness and become an extrovert, I’ve put together this short list of strategies that were the most useful in helping me make my transformation.
7 SIMPLE TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME AN EXTROVERT
1. Put Yourself Out There
Really, one of the best things you can do to get out of your head and into the world, is to just put yourself out there. When you constantly push yourself to do things in front of people, or force yourself to talk to others, even when you don’t want to, you’ll strengthen your ability to do more of it in the future.
Start small, by doing things that are on the edgy of your comfort zone. Then slowly move to activities that are just beyond it.
If you do this enough, it will eventually become a habit and you won’t have any problems showing up as an extrovert when the time arises. Until you get to that point of course, the following steps will be helpful.
2. To Become an Extrovert, First Practice Being One
This may sound odd, but practicing the gift of gab is essential if you want to show up as a gifted communicator. In short, when you practice chatting up someone, you are training yourself for a performance.
The benefits of this are two-fold. First off, if you are practice anything, you will eventually get better. So if you practice shooting the breeze with others, you will become more comfortable with it eventually. Similarly, if you practice alone in front of a mirror, it will be as if you are preparing to perform.
Much benefit can also be gleamed from mental practice as well. Meaning, if habitually envision yourself chatting up others flawlessly, or speaking in front of people without a hitch, you’ll actually be prepared to do it well when opportunity arises.
This is where the second benefit of practice comes in. Basically, if you can see your social interactions more as a performance, then it can make communicating to large groups or to others at social events much easier.
The reason for this is because if you consider your communication as performing, then you don’t have to attach yourself to the outcome of the conversation or speech. And by detaching yourself, you essentially get to protect your ego in the event you do get judged.
3. Make Confidence and Extroversion a Study
Reading up on ways to overcome shyness is essential to transforming yourself into an extrovert. In fact, some of the books I read to get help me make my quick transformation included books such as Courage – The Art of Living Dangerously, The Magic of Thinking Big, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, How to Talk to Anyone, Real Magic, How to Talk on Your Feet, etc.
In using the Fearless Formula, you get distilled knowledge curated from over 20 + different experts on how to ‘come out of your shell’ and show up as an extrovert.
If you are shy, introverted, and need an action oriented tool to help you become an extrovert, then this is a great place to start your study of the subject. And, then you’d be doing yourself an enormous favor by adding some of these excellent resources on confidence to your library as well.
4. Become an Active Listener
Oddly, this method is probably the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communication. I learned this method from Dale Carnegie’s book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’. When people feel they’re being sincerely listened to, they’ll associate positive qualities to the listener.
So in essence, when we listen carefully to what others are saying, and genuinely show interest in them, people will find us to be sociable and interesting as well. Not only that, but by actively listening to others, you worrying less about what you ‘should’ say next.
When we take the focus off of us, and put it on others, people will be more eager to chat with us. Magically, you’ll become sought out for conversation and social interactions. And knowing that others actually want to talk to us (because everybody wants to talk about numero uno…themselves), it makes chatting up other people a whole lot easier.
5. Have Something to Talk About
Many people shy away from talking with others because they feel like they don’t have much in common them. But there is an simple remedy for this. A simple tactic to help you come out of your shell, is to always ensure you are up-to-date with current affairs. Knowing what is going on in the world can go along way in helping you relate to people about “the happenings of the day”.
By having material to converse about with others, and topics others would be interested in knowing about or would want to hear your opinion on, you’ll increase your preparedness to talk with others freely. And the more prepared you feel, the more comfortably you’ll be a striking up conversations with strangers.
So brush up on the news and what’s popular, and be ready to share your opinions like an extrovert.
6. To Become Extroverted You Must Get Your Mind Right
Many introverts have a problem with busy brains. We process events and things in a very cerebral way and so tend to overthink things.
Unfortunately, this tends to show up as internal conversations we have with ourselves about everything. And sometimes, those inner conversations create unnecessary alarm.
As an introvert, your inner voice can become loud, especially when you are about to do something that makes you nervous. This inner talk leads to even more nervousness, especially if that voice is filled with a nervous tone. It can be a compounding effect. And it is this compounding effect that paralyzes many introverts from “getting out there”.
As an introvert you’re nervous enough as it is, and having an inner voice yelling at you… “No, no, don’t do it! It’s not gonna work, you’re gonna make a fool of yourself,” etc.. doesn’t help your situation.
So, to fight this, you must get your mind right. And the best way to get your mind right is to silence your inner doubter with meditation. If you start practicing mediation daily, you’ll easily learn how to gag your inner nervous chatter. And when you gag that inner train-wreck, trying your hand at becoming an extrovert is a whole lot easier.
7. Visualize the Extrovert You Want to Be
If you really want to know how to become an extrovert, you must not skip this step. One of the most powerful tactics you can employ to unleash your inner extrovert, is to visualize the extrovert you want to be.
In your mind, be the extrovert you want to be. I know that sounds simple, but the mind is a powerful thing.
When you start to visualize that powerful outgoing you, the version you want to be, you give yourself subconscious mind permission to seek ways to bring that ‘you’ into reality. If you don’t know where to start, just follow Napoleon Hill’s Self-Confidence formula. It is a powerful tool and it can help you begin the visualizing you need to do, to step into your extroverted self.
Final Words on How to Become an Extrovert
There you have it, seven powerful tactics to help you become the extrovert that you know you can be. Here’s a quick recap to help you retain what you just learned:
- Put Yourself Out There
- Practice Being an Extrovert
- Study Confident & Extroverted People
- Become an Active Listener
- Always Have Something to Talk About
- Calm Your Mind
- Use Visualization
As you strive to become more extroverted remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be born an extrovert in order to achieve meaningful success in their lives. It’s true, many extroverts were born extroverts, but many have also been made.
Never forget that many celebrities, leaders, and uber-successful entrepreneurs are introverts; like Stephen Spielberg (Multi-Award Winning Director), James Hetfield (Lead Singer of Metallica), Tom Hanks (Actor), J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter Series), Barak Obama (ex-President of the United States), and Elon Musk (Inventor and CEO of Tesla), and if they can succeed, so can you.
The people who have the ability to transform themselves into an extrovert on demand, will be better able to capitalize on opportunities when they arise. And you now have seven little secrets that most introverted people will never be aware of. Lucky you!
Till next time,
PS – If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, be sure to read this today!
BE YOUR OWN HERO
The Strive recently published an article by Atlas Rowe about finding your greatness.
It was a great article and he made many good points that I agree with.
There are a lot of people that are worried that wanting to be successful or rich will make them no different than one of those egotistical, entitled, shallow rich people. I know because I used to be one. I used to think the pursuit of money made me shallow and ugly.
But there are also a lot of people that want things to be easy. I know because I used to be one of those people too, not wanting to put myself out there and take a risk, in case I fell flat on my face.
It felt safer to wait until I had the perfect idea, or for the perfect moment.
I put a condition on my success without realising it.
Success was only possible if first x,y and z happened.
What is Your Dream?
Tell me, do you have a dream? A wish? Want to lose weight, start a business, get married, find that perfect job?
Here’s a question: What is holding you back?
Why haven’t you started your business yet?
Why aren’t you married yet?
Why are you still complaining about your dead end job, why haven’t you done anything about it?
I can hear the litany of excuses you are likely shouting at me now.
“There are no jobs available that i’m qualified for.”
“I can’t afford a gym membership right now so I can’t lose weight.”
“There are no more good men/women left to date.”
I hear it all the time and it drives me nuts. Friends, family, co-workers, all complaining about something or another without taking action.
So many of us are waiting for the right moment.
We have a dream but we add a condition to it so we have a convenient excuse on why we haven’t taken action yet.
And it allows us to say “It’s not my fault”.
Too often we want what we want without making an effort.
Yes you want to be a millionaire and I see you buying lottery tickets, but honestly, you are more likely to get rich starting your own internet business than you are winning the lottery.
You are like a victim in a superhero movie, waiting for Batman to sweep in and save you.
Well here’s a thought: IT’S TIME TO BE YOUR OWN HERO!
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero, because everybody is busy trying to save themselves.” – C.T.Tweet Quote
Batman didn’t know what he was doing at first either. It took him a while to perfect his costume (let’s face it he still can’t turn his neck). He had to learn how to fight, leap from buildings, drive ridiculous cars and bikes (I mean really!).
He doesn’t carry a gun so he has to pummel bad guys with his bare hands, and get pummelled in the process himself.
The police hate him. He has no friends, and only one person, Alfred, knows his true identity.
Yet he goes to work during the day and then at night, instead of sitting in front of the TV eating pizza, he goes out fighting crime so he can make his city a better place to live in.
No-one shows up to save him, but everyone expects him to save them.
His life sucks, big time!
I bet it sucks more than yours.
But still he does it. He does it because he has a dream and no-one else can do it for him.
It’s time for you to become your own hero and make your own world better.
I have researched a lot of successful people, and if there is one thing I can say for sure, is that they took responsibility for their own lives.
They took action to make their dreams come true.
There was no waiting for the right job, or the right moment.
They didn’t sit around complaining that no-one was helping them, that they didn’t know how to do something, or about their boss, or their lack of opportunities.
They went out there and they made it happen.
For most of them, it was hard, it took time, there were many setbacks, people saying it couldn’t be done.
I bet they were lonely, and scared, and worried about money. But they stayed the course until they succeeded.
There’s a quote floating around on the internet, how some people work for years and years only to suddenly become “successful overnight”.
It’s like TheStrive.co, do you think they built this website overnight? No, it took years of hard work and dedication to make it the brilliant site it is today.
I used to be one of those mediocre underachievers, never really trying too hard to achieve things, I worried about failing, or being seen to fail.
I didn’t think I could do it and to be honest I was simply too scared.
It has taken many years of reprogramming my brain, but I’ve realized that I am actually capable of anything I put my mind to, I SIMPLY HAVE TO GET STARTED.
- When I try things, I am more likely to achieve something.
- And I learn from it.
- I even learn from failing.
- This increases my confidence.
- Which means that now I am willing to try even bigger and better things.
I became my own hero.
I now know that if I want something to happen, it is my duty and responsibility to do it.
No-one else can do it for me. It’s just me, I have to take action.
What Does it Mean to Be Your Own Hero?
It means no more excuses.
No more waiting for the right moment, or the right opportunity.
No more being afraid.
Your parents aren’t responsible for your life, nor your boss, your teachers, your partner or your financial adviser.
You are the person responsible for your life.
It’s time to take action, even if it’s a small step, to making your dreams come true.
How Do I Start? Where Do I Start?
If you want a promotion then don’t wait until you feel ready.
There are two types of people in this world, those who think they are ready to be CEO when they are not, and those who never feel ready, so they don’t even try.
You’re obviously in the 2nd group otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
Make an appointment with your boss, state your case for a promotion, and get clarity of what you’ll have to do to make it happen.
My boss gave me a lot of projects to work on for a year or two to raise my profile.
It also gave me lots of material to put on my promotion form to prove I have what it takes to go to the next level.
Enough complaining about how much you hate your job.
It’s time to start looking for a new job.
The perfect job isn’t going to find you through magic, you’ll have to go looking for it.
And like a princess you’re going to have to kiss a few frogs.
This means go for interviews even if you don’t particularly want the job, because it is great practise.
That way when the job you DO want comes along, your interview skills will be awesome.
- Write your CV.
- Create a few online job seeker profiles – there are many websites to choose from, in all industries. Start with Linked In if you are unsure.
- Search for 10 jobs at least, they don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need to have all the qualifications listed.
- Apply for those 10 jobs.
- Wait a week or two. REPEAT the process until you get at least three interviews.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about dating.
I often feel that when we date, or when we are single, we are hoping someone will come along and sweep us off our feet, solve all our problems for us, tell us we’re beautiful and smart, make us feel loved and worthy of being loved.
We expect them to help us magically melt all our insecurities away in a heartbeat.
If only the right person would come along to love you, you could finally feel confident, secure and happy.
We’re all waiting for that confident, pretty, successful and rich person to come along.
No-one thinks to become that person themselves.
The problem with waiting for someone else to be your hero, is that there are no perfect heroes. Everyone has their own problems, and their own insecurities.
So instead you must become the hero in your own story.
When I first saw the movie Shrek, I was very amused by the princess.
She is clearly her own hero capable of saving herself.
But instead of taking ownership, she chooses to wait around for her perfect prince to come along.
Don’t be the princess in the tower.
Consider this: Why should someone else love you if you don’t love yourself?
Work on yourself, learn to love yourself.
So you want to have your own business but don’t know where to start?
Here’s a thought: E-commerce
Selling a product on Amazon is the easiest way to get started and you can do that while still showing up for your day job (the one you hate).
- Make a list of everything you have bought yourself over the past 6 months.
- Then make a list of everything your partner has bought over the past 6 months
- And another list of everything you hear your friends or work colleagues talk about.
- Have kids in the family? Well what toys do they talk about or like playing with?
If you still don’t have an idea for your first product then it’s time to pivot to some other type of business.
It’s time to stop talking about it and finally sign up for your MBA, or those guitar lessons you’ve had on your New Year’s Resolutions now for 5 years straight.
I bet at least one person you work with has an MBA.
Ask around till you find that person, and get their thoughts on where you should go for yours.
Guitar lessons you can easily do online.
Or better yet, GO OUT AND BUY A GUITAR and then ask the salesperson who they would recommend.
It’s time to accept you are underpaid.
And therefore time for a payrise.
I find it works about the same as asking for a promotion. Make a list of all everything you’ve achieved over the past year or 2, and it helps if you can find out what others earn.
If your manager is willing he/she might give you some more projects to work on. This is good, that way when you complete it they have no choice but to give you the pay increase.
But if they say no, then it’s time to negotiate.
- Don’t accept no for an answer
- Be patient
- Continue the conversation as calmly as possible
- Impress on your boss all your successes
- List your current responsibilities
- Mention your completed projects
- And find out the general salary on the street (only if higher than yours, don’t mention it if it’s lower)
- Be willing to compromise.
- You can offer to work more weekends to prove your dedication to the company, or vice versa, if they offer to pay for travel expenses or something similar, then it’s as good as getting a pay rise as you’ll still have extra money in your pocket.
Read Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Christopher Voss.
It’s one of the best books on negotiation I’ve ever read.
I’ve negotiated the most random concessions out of companies and people using these techniques, all which in the end had real monetary value for me.
Buying a House
I can’t lie, unless you are a hedge fund baby, you’re going need to start saving some money every month.
Hero’s don’t wait for permission. So grab the bull by the horns, and start socking money away whenever you can and as much as you can.
The sooner you start the easier it will become, and the BETTER it will be for you thanks to Compound Interest.
Compound interest is when you earn interest on last year’s interest.
Over 10 years it can make a massive difference.
The same goes for credit cards, but not in your favour. Interest on interest you haven’t paid is like burning banknotes for fun, except no-one actually thinks it’s fun.
In my opinion, you should be buying your first house by the age of 30. Even if you think the market is overpriced, start saving money, because luck happens when preparedness meets opportunity.
The point is, get your budget together and start saving money.
- Have a look at starter homes for first time buyers in your area so you can get an idea of prices
- Make a budget
- List your income
- List all your expenses
- List everything that you spend money on that are luxuries (I hate to be one of THOSE people but 5 Starbucks lattes a day is not a good investment)
- Figure out what you can give up each month
- How much can you then save a month
The math works like this:
- You can save $100 per month
- You need $20,000 to put down on a deposit for a house
- That means you have to save for 200 months, which is 16+ years.
- You want to buy a house in 5 years, so 12 months x 5 = 60 months of saving
- The deposit will be $20,000.
- So you need to save $334 per month
Round the World Trip
Be honest now, it’s on your bucket list isn’t it!
Here’s the good news that most employees don’t know, because they don’t read the employee handbook properly.
Most companies offer some sort of unpaid leave where you can take a career break without having to quit your job.
Meaning that as long as you have saved enough money for expenses while you travel, your job will still be there when you get back.
Check with your HR department, then have a conversation with your manager.
Find out what they would be willing to agree with.
It might be that they can’t do without you this year, but if you wait 12 months after that big project has finished, they would be willing to let you take 3 months off.
Become Your Best Self
I’ve left this one for last as it’s a bit vague.
But the truth is that success in life requires you to TAKE SOME FORM OF ACTION.
For many that action is too scary.
We lack self confidence or self-esteem for so many reasons, so to take that next step can be daunting and scary.
So it’s time to start working on yourself.
Learn more about confidence, build new habits that set you up for success, and start working on acquiring the skills you might need to build the future you want.
You are still delaying taking action, but at least you are taking small steps in the right direction.
The point is to START!
Every journey begins with a small step.
Define your dream life.
Identify small steps you can take towards it.
Take MASSIVE action.
Dive in head first and learn to swim with the sharks.
It’s your choice.
But I promise you, on your deathbed you will wish you had at least tried.
Don’t be the boring grandparent!
Be the grandparent with the great stories to tell!
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this post about becoming your own hero, then you’ll love this post on How to Be a Conqueror.
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