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Confidence

4 SUPER SIMPLE WAYS TO BE MORE CONFIDENT

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Be More Confident

So You Want to Be More Confident?

Are you looking for some ways to feel and be more confident?  Of course you are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article on confidence.

Look, feeling confident and fearless in our day to day lives is not something that’s easy to come by.   If it were, there would be no need for the thousands of books, courses, and blogs that specifically deal with the subject.  But that’s not the case.

Learning how to be more confident is in high demand, and likely always will be.   Why, because hundreds of thousands people wish they could maintain a strong sense of confidence, but they often come up short.  How do I know?  Because Google tells us so.  Just look at how many people are searching every month for ways to improve their confidence:

Confidence Statistics

So What Are The Causes?

Oddly enough, some of the causes of lagging confidence and fear are due to public situations as seen in a Chapman University Survey of American Fears while others are a result of personal issues that many young people often deal with according to this UK report. The Chapman Survey shows a sample of 1,207 grown-ups from around the US which reveals that people’s top fears border around issues of public concern. While the UK stats actually reveal that over 60% of girls from 10 – 17 years of age experience low self-esteem which destroys their self-confidence.  On top of this, there has also been research that supports the fact that there aren’t significant differences in self-esteem among genders.  Meaning, the struggle with confidence is gender neutral.

In short, everyone needs to be confident to feel and be successful in life. From Entrepreneurs, to professionals, to students, to leaders, everyone should have a level of confidence that makes living a quality life a reality. And the good news is, there are many ways (most of them easy) by which we can all build our confidence.   So, that’s what the rest of this article is going to do; give you some super simple ways to be more confident.

You ready?  Let’s go….

1. Confront Your Fears and Doubts

Fear is a feeling of perceived threat or danger. It is also a negative emotion, but it is a natural one that is prompted for our own benefit, i.e. survival.  Some psychology experts even say fear is a mental energy, or a form of abstraction. But, regardless of what fear actually is, nothing can ever make you fearful without your permission. As such, it is always best to confront those things that make you fearful, rather than run from it.

Truly, whenever a circumstance or issue appears to induce fear in you, we can choose to either face it or run away from it. Opting for the latter hardly makes things better for you, in fact, doing so could often leads to unwanted circumstances; like missing out on dating that dream guy/girl, never getting that promotion, or losing out on what could have been a profitable opportunity.  There is true wisdom in the saying, “Nothing ventured nothing gained”.

2. Think Positively

The benefits of positive thinking are invaluable. You empower yourself when you think positively, and you become optimistic towards more outcomes.  Truly, all things become possible only if you think they are. Which is why positive thinking should be made into a habit.  If you want to remain confident, it necessary to cultivate positive thought patterns on the daily.

Think about this – any time you think negatively about an issue at hand you’ll notice how it almost immediately impacts how you feel about yourself and the world.  Without a doubt, experiencing a small negative emotion can wreak havoc on your whole day.  But, when you force yourself to think positively, you minimize the chances of negativity getting the best of you.  By simply deciding to be ore positive you can dramatically improve your entire outlook on life, and this will certainly impact your overall attitude in your day to day interactions.

So, in spite of all the threatening situations and negative news that exists out there, try to focus on feeling positive.  Try to always look on the bright-side of things.  Don’t enter into a dialogue with your negative emotions.  Attempt to do away with those things which you perceived to be negative in your past as well, because believe it or not, bad memories tend to form a negativity bias and we humans are programmed to constantly think back on them. So, do these things, and before you know it, you’ll become more positive minded, and as a result, a more confident person.

3. Speak To Yourself

Speaking to oneself may appear foolish and unworkable sometimes. But it is not. According to a documentary film, “The Human Brain”, every human being says about 300 – 1000 words to themselves every day. Truly, self-talk is something we do every day consciously or unconsciously. Speaking to yourself also leads to realism – the practice of being true to yourself.  As a matter of fact, when we are true to ourselves we can better assess what we can and can’t do, and this leads to a whole new level of confidence.

For an instance, if I’m trained as a business person but I attempt to write a high quality article for Forbes.com or the Wallstreet journal, I may find my submissions getting constantly rejected.  And of course, this rejection would likely be detrimental to my confidence.  However; if i were to enlist the services of someone who is actually skilled a writing, I would be doing myself and my confidence a favor.

As such, it is always good to know who you are, and to “be real” with your skill-sets and what you are capable of.  By doing so, so you’ll partake in only those things you are actually good at, and in the process, preserve your confidence.

4. Separate Facts From Memory

Our neurons tend to absorb more of those memories and experiences that have occurred in the past. Which means that the more focus on those things that didn’t go right in our past, the less confident  we’ll become when it comes to trying to do a similar thing in the future. As such, if you really want to do a thing, it is important to keep in mind that you can do a thing, and to recall your past for lessons on how you can improve your odds of doing such a thing in the future.  Just because you have encountered some experience of failures in the past does not mean you can’t raise up your head above the murky waters of the past.

For example, if Thomas Edison mixed the memories of the previous Nine hundred and ninety-nine occasions of failures with the fact that he could yet invent the bulb, he may have never been able to confidently approach the one-thousandth attempt that gave the bulbs that light our houses and streets today. So, forget your memory, do not remember them, especially if it is colored with “can’t”. The only thing you should do with your memory is glean the lessons on how you can improve your approaches for finding better results on the things you attempt to do a second time.

The fact of the matter is this; that your past does define who you are and what you can be. Equally, aim to keep the memories of the good but do not allow them to cause you to rest on your laurels. Rather let the remembrance of your past successes  bring you to a more self-assured knowing that you can learn from the past to change the future.

Conclusion

Confidence is the foundation of all progress and success in life. And you know have the some new tools that you can add to your confidence toolkit.  So, are you really ready to become more confident?

Remember, every successful person has had to muster up the confidence to achieve the goals they went after.   So, if you seek more progress, success, and achievement in your life, you’re going to need to step into that more confident future you.

Till next time,

STRIVE

Samantha R. Gilbert has been working as a journalist at an online-publishing agency in New York, USA for 2 years. She is also professional writing expert in such topics as blogging, modern art and education. Meet Samantha on Google +.

Confidence

7 BEST TED TALKS ON BUILDING CONFIDENCE TO CRUSH YOUR FEARS

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ted talk confidence

Fear can have a huge impact on how our lives’ turn out.  It can limit us from living a happy fulfilled life. Fear can keep us from success, it can keep us from fulfillment; it can keep us from becoming our best self.

It’s an unfortunate fact that many of us go through our days, allowing ourselves to live with a lack of confidence.  We allow ourselves to be defeated by our fears.

We let fear conquer us, when we let it keep us from applying for our dream jobs.  When we let fear hinder our ability to take action on starting that big life-changing project we’ve been meaning to launch, we lose to fear as well . We also lose to fear when we let it discourage us from approaching that person who might have been our one true love, our ideal partner, our soulmate.  Regrettably, we all too often allow fear to be the driver in our lives.

When we let our fears dictate what we do, we pay a price. Sadly, we end up paying this toll with the quality of our life.

To help put a stop to fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, I’ve put together this powerful list of Ted Talks on confidence.  My hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and start overcoming your fears.

I jotted down a brief synopsis of each video so you can get an idea of what the video is about before you commit to watching the whole thing.  When you are ready to watch the video, just click its associated image.

Without further ado, here’s your list of Ted Talks on how to build confidence and overcome fear:

BEST TED TALKS ABOUT CONFIDENCE

1. Joe Kowan :  How I Beat Stage Fright

An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter  Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage.  Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does.  It’s very powerful and is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people.  Click on the image above to watch.

2. Amy Cuddy :  Your Body Shapes Who You Are

This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy.  She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves.  In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves.  It’s great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless.   Her last suggestion is what is most important.  “Fake it till you Become it”.

3. Jia Jiang :  Overcoming Fear with Rejection Therapy

Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears.  He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through.  By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection.  Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.

4. Tim Ferris :  Learning How to Smash Fear

Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferris gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them.  If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear.  His last two messages are by far the most important.  “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”

5. Karen Thompson Walker: What Fear Can Teach Us

Novelist Karen Thompson Walker gives a refreshing take on dealing with fear.  She gives some insights on how fears are nothing more than unintentional storytelling, and why it is important to learn how to listen to and read those fears effectively.

6 – Megan McArthur: Lessons On Fear, Confidence, and Preparing For Spaceflight

ted talk confidence

Nasa astronaut Mega McArthur shares some of the key steps she takes to minimize fear and create confidence, especially when taking big, scary, potentially life-changing risks.

One of her biggest secrets, is the power of preparation, but she also shares a few additional hacks that will help you build confidence in yourself as well.

7. Allyson Felix: A Mindset For Overcoming Fear

Allyson Felix

Olympic Champion Allyson Felix gives a powerful Ted Talk on how to overcome fear, and use fear for making meaningful change in our lives and in the world. Without a doubt, this Allyson’s speech is a powerful testament on the power of believing in ourselves, standing up for what we think is right, and how big things can happen when we lean into our fears.

Final Thoughts

There you have it, the 5 best Ted Talks about confidence and overcoming your fears.

I hope you found this collection of videos helpful to you on your journey towards improving your confidence and conquering your fears.

Remember, if we let it, fear will sabotage our biggest plans, it will snuff our highest hopes. Fear will stop us from living the life we were meant to live. It can, and it will restrain our greatness, unless we decide to conquer it.

Time to get out there and start crushing your fears! Go get your greatness!

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed this round up on the best Ted Talks on Confidence, then you’ll certainly enjoy these 10 powerful steps for building confidence that lasts.

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Confidence

HOW TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY

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How to Feel More Confident In Your Body

We all want to feel confident in our own skin and in our own bodies, but sometimes it can be hard to do that, especially when we are constantly being told that we need to look or act a certain way. The good news is that there are things you can do to start feeling more confident in your body starting today. This article will discuss some tips that can help you become more self-assured and learn to love yourself for who you are. So, if you want to know how to feel more confident in your body this article is for you.

Why Is Confidence Important?

Confidence is important because it allows us to feel good about ourselves and our abilities. When we are confident, we are more likely to take risks and try new things. We are also more likely to be successful in whatever we do. Additionally, confident people tend to be happier and have better relationships.

Where Does Confidence Stem From?

Confidence always has to start from within how you feel. When you can love and appreciate yourself, true confidence begins to shine. The first step is learning to accept all of your flaws and imperfections. We are all human, and we all have things about ourselves that we don’t like. But it is important to remember that these things make us unique and special.

Confidence from within can sometimes be insufficient if you are not comfortable with how you look on the outside. If you don’t feel good about the way you look, it can be hard to have confidence in other areas of your life. One of the best things you can do in this regard is to start working on your physical appearance. This doesn’t mean that you need to go out and get surgery or anything like that. Just taking care of yourself and making sure that you look presentable can make a big difference.

HOW TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BODY

Best Ways to Feel More Confident In Your Body

Working Out

If you are not comfortable with your body, it can be hard to feel confident. One way to start feeling better about yourself is by working out and getting in shape. Not only will this make you look better, but it will also make you feel better.

When you are physically fit, you tend to have more energy and feel more capable of taking on the world. Exercise is also a great way to release stress and improve your mood. If you are not sure where to start, there are plenty of resources available online or at your local gym.

Having a Positive Mentality

Another important aspect of confidence is having a positive outlook on life. If you are constantly negative, it will be hard to see the good in yourself or others.

Learning to focus on the positive can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and your life. One way to do this is by practicing gratitude.

Every day, take a few minutes to think about things you are grateful for. This could be anything from your health to your family and friends. Remember, it is easier to let go of the negative when you focus on the good.

Related: The Power of Positive Thinking

Dressing The Part

Another way to improve your confidence is by dressing the part. When you look good, you feel good. It’s important to find clothes that fit well and make you feel comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable in what you are wearing, it will be hard to fake confidence.

Also, make sure that your clothes are clean and presentable. You don’t need to go out and buy expensive clothes, but taking the time to care for your appearance can make a big difference in how confident you feel about your body and how it looks with clothes on.

Surrounding Yourself With Positive People

Being in a community of people who accept you for who you are is important. If you are constantly around critical or negative people, it can be hard to feel good about yourself.

Positive Friends Help Body Confidence

But when you surround yourself with positive people, it is easier to stay positive. Find friends or family members who make you feel good and spend time with them whenever possible.

You might also want to join a group or club that shares your interests. When you feel supported and accepted, it is easier to be confident in your own body and in yourself.

Avoiding Comparison

One of the biggest things that hold us back from being confident is comparing ourselves to others. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and we are all on our own journey in life.

If you spend your time comparing yourself to others, you will always find someone better than you. Instead of doing comparisons, focus on your own journey and be the best that you can be. You will start to see your own worth and feel more confident in your abilities when you do this.

Practicing Self-Care

Another way to feel more confident is by practicing self-care. This means taking care of yourself both physically and mentally. Ensure that you are getting enough rest, exercise, and healthy food.

Also, take some time for yourself every day to do things that make you happy. This could be anything from reading a book to taking a walk in nature. It is easier to feel good about yourself when you take care of yourself.

Learning To Accept Criticism

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. What separates confident people from others is their ability to accept criticism. When someone points out our flaws, it can be tempting to get defensive.

But if you want to be more confident, you need to learn to take criticism constructively. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything that people say, but it does mean that you should be open to hearing what they have to say.

So, use criticism to learn and grow, and you will start to see yourself in a more positive light.

Focusing On The Things You Like About Yourself

One of the best ways to feel more confident is by focusing on what you like about yourself. We all have flaws, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t also find things that we like about ourselves. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself, both physically and personality-wise.

Focus on The Positive

Then, take out the list and read it whenever you are feeling down. This will help you remember all the great things about yourself and give you a boost of confidence.

Repeating Positive Affirmations

If you want to feel more confident in your body, it is important to start speaking kindly to yourself. This means repeating positive affirmations to yourself daily. Tell yourself that you are strong, intelligent, worthy, and capable. Believe that you are worthy of love and respect.

The affirmations you speak should touch on areas of your life where you want to see improvement. When you say these positive things to yourself often enough, they will start to become true for you. You can also write down your affirmations and post them where you will see them often. Affirmations can help you believe in yourself and give you the strength to overcome challenges.

Related: Affirmations For Confidence

Final Thoughts

By using these tips, you can start to feel more confident in your own skin. Just remember that progress takes time, so be patient with yourself. Soon enough, you will start to see a difference in how you feel about yourself.

Till then,

STRIVE

PS – If you enjoyed this article on how to feel more confident in your body, then you’ll also enjoy these other supporting resources that can help you on your journey towards feeling better about yourself, your health, and your life:

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Confidence

10 STRATEGIES TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AND LIVE LIFE FULLY

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Build Confidence In Yourself

We all have a choices to make in this life, and some of those choices are constant. We all must choose on a daily basis, between shirking opportunities for growth and expansion, or leaning in to face our challenges fearlessly with full acceptance of the outcome.

Choosing the former leads to stagnation, less freedom, less happiness and ultimately unfulfilled potential. While on the other hand, the latter leads to more joy, freedom, abundance, and potential fulfilled.

“THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS IS FREEDOM…AND THE SECRET TO FREEDOM IS COURAGE.”

–  THUCYDIDES  –

Without a doubt, there are fears and doubts that keep the majority of people living out their lives in quiet desperation, only to go to their graves with their gifts, dreams, talents, and aspirations left inside them. In fact, the late Wayne Dyer once stated, “The number one regret of the dying is ‘I wish I had the courage to live the life I wanted rather than doing what others wanted of me.’”

Which is why we’re publishing this resource, to provide you with actionable strategies for building confidence in yourself. The type of confidence that would allow for you to to live life fearlessly starting today.

With that being said, after researching numerous books, and experimenting with a variety of different tools, (meditation, affirmations, guided visualizations, hypnosis etc.) we discovered these handful of best-practices that you can immediately employ to start building confidence in yourself quickly.

We’re confident, that if you attempt to conquer your fears using the insights provided on this page with complete commitment, you will begin to experience noticeable progress in your self-belief, confidence, and your ability take more action.

In other words, you will become more confident, fearless, and thus more inclined to transform yourself into the type of action-taker your dreams require you to be. So, if you’re ready to learn about the 10 best strategies that can help you begin building confidence in yourself today, let’s dive right in:

10 WAYS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF AND LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY

How to Build Confidence In Yourself

1: BELIEVE (HAVE FAITH) IN YOURSELF

This first confidence-building strategy simply consists of having faith in yourself. We understand that it this may seem difficult to do. But once we show you the why behind how this works, you may just become inclined to make your leap of faith.

This “why” that we’re referring to consists of a simple process. It’s only one process, but we aim to illustrate it in two different ways.  Thus, the two diagrams below are meant to inform you, as well as act as an incentive to encourage you to continue using the other strategies we will be providing to you. 

With that said, both of these diagrams are important to comprehend, but the diagram that is best to keep in mind as you utilize the other strategies we’ll be recommending, is this first one, Diagram 1

We suggest that it is kept at the forefront of your mind, and used as a foundation as you strengthen your fearless muscles. We recommend this because of the substantial life enhancing effects that can result from you believing that you can become fearless.

So, without further ado, here is the first diagram, your foundation, and your strong reason as to why you should become fearless.

DIAGRAM 1: 

This diagram (see on next page) is a model for life enhancement.  When we comprehend how this model impacts our life, we can equip ourselves with the conviction that is needed to jumpstart our intentions for facing our fears. 

The model demonstrates how you can actually decide to crush your fears, and take steps to continually suppress those fears, while at the same time setting yourself up for future success.

When you observe the model on the next page you will notice that it is cyclical.  You should also take note, that the model spirals in a direction that is toward a stronger, increasingly improved you, which naturally translates into a brighter future for you.  

You’ll notice when looking at this model (especially in comparison to the second diagram provided just after this one) the word ‘Increased’

This entire model is impacted by the decision to increase our belief that we can become fearless, and an increase in our belief of ourselves.  As a result, a bigger brighter, more fulfilled future can ensue.  

The premise of the model is this: If you force yourself to have certainty about your abilities, an absolute belief that you can handle whatever it is you are undertaking, you will place in motion a positive life enhancing process. 

When you decide to increase your belief that you can do something, you will influence your potential for actually being able to do that thing well.

Having the sense that you have increased potential to accomplish something, you will in effect be more likely to take (increased) action to fulfill that potential. As you begin taking more action, and doing so with full faith in your potential and ability to execute flawlessly, you will begin to get better results.

building confidence in yourself with belief

Having these improved results will reinforce your belief in yourself, and in your abilities.  In turn, the whole process will restart anew, and every recurring time, it will be from an even stronger, more confident position.

In summary:  with a decision to believe in one’s self, one’s potential to execute will increase.  Consequently, one will be inclined to take even more action, whereby, one will inevitably see more improved results.  As time goes on, this process will compound all results.  Therefore, it is vital to begin from a position of belief, to get onto the path towards living fearlessly.

DIAGRAM 2: 

Diagram 2 is very similar to Diagram 1, just illustrated above.  This diagram was included primarily to provide additional context in relation to the power of belief.  Its purpose is to demonstrate what the opposite effects are, if we get started on the wrong foot.

This diagram, unlike Diagram 1, is on a negative spiraling path towards a diminishing life.   It is different in that it consists of a cycle of decrease.  In essence, when we allow for things, people, or our own negative opinion of ourselves to negatively impact our belief in ourselves and our abilities, we will inevitably experience a level of diminishment in our potential.

Through this feeling of diminished capabilities, we will in effect act less on the fulfillment of our goals.  Like most people, when something seems futile, we are less inclined to persevere.  As a perfect example of cause and effect, our lack of action (or our half-hearted action) leads to substandard results.

Less Belief, Less Confidence Diagram

And the cycle goes on.  Those less than stellar results reinforce our lack of belief in ourselves (again), which as a result decreases our outlook on our potential even more so.  In turn, this ultimately reduces even further, our desire to act, yet again bringing even worse results, etc.

This phase can go on indefinitely to eventual physical, spiritual, and professional defeat. Something we do not want for you, or anyone.

The most critical aspect to take away from this strategy for building confidence (considering both diagrams), is that it is critical that we start all of our undertakings from a place of belief.

If you begin having any doubts as you implement any of our other strategies, or begin to feel your inner cynic start to come out, just come back to this first strategy and simply reacquaint yourself until you are ready to move forward with faith.

It is vitally important that you believe you can actually learn how to become more confident.  It is important to believe that you can do amazing things, because without belief, you can not, nor ever will, become a fearless version of your former self.

So, first things first, have faith in yourself!

“IF YOU MUST DOUBT SOMETHING, DOUBT YOUR LIMITS.”

–  PRICE PRITCHETT  –

2. INTERNALIZE THESE 6 TRUTHS

This next confidence boosting strategy consists of six very important truths that when deeply understood, can assist you in the easing of your apprehensions. [1]  

We suggest you attempt to internalize these truths.  By doing so, you will be conditioning your mind to release the stress that you may have built up around your fears and apprehensions in the past. Here they are:

  • Fear and angst never goes away fully, not as long as we are growing, stretching, and striving for more.  Fear, angst, and uneasiness then, is but a natural consequence of striving.
  • To start feeling confident and good about ourselves, we have to take some type of definitive steps/actions to improve the situation or ourselves.
  • The only way to get rid of the fear or angst of doing something is to go out and do that thing which which is causing us unease.
  • Fear and doubt art things that is experienced by everyone.  To be human, is to fearful and doubtful. Fear and doubt are natural byproducts of growth; it’s a byproduct of placing ourselves in unfamiliar territory, outside of our comfort zones.   We are all human, and thus we all experience fear and doubt.
  • Living with the regret and the feeling of helplessness the stems from not tackling your fears or seeking to suppress your doubts, is more frightening than having decided to face your fears head on.
  • The more attention we give to our fears without doing something to combat them, the stronger they will grow, and the more paralyzed you’ll feel when you decide to conquer them.

Speaking these six truths out loud whenever fear begins to creep up in our mind, can do wonders for quelling any anxiousness we may be feeling.

It’s like preparing for a big game or battle against a worthy opponent.  The more you know about your opponent, the less frightening it is.  The less frightening the opponent appears, the more willing we are to face it.

3. PRACTICE THESE SIX ACTIONS TO BUILD CONFIDENCE

There are six practical actions will be helpful for you to keep in your ‘back pocket’ so-to-speak, so they can be easily accessed when the time comes for proactively building confidence in yourself.

This step, also includes a diagram that conveys how taking action works toward curing our fears.

Action 1:

It is critical to know, that action builds confidence and cures fear.  As such, find a way to isolate your fears.  Once you do this, you can then begin to take constructive action to face those fears.  Taking action on the thing you fear most is highly effective.  If you don’t take action, your fears will grow.

Action 2:

Project (or force) your confidence.  Here are some ways to do this:

a. Force yourself to sit in the front row of your training classes, sit nearest the boss in meetings, put yourself out there, etc.

b. Speak up.  Participate.  Engage.

c. Make sure you make and keep eye contact with everyone with whom you speak.  Force yourself to not instantly look away. Establish your presence.

d. When you walk, walk with purpose. Consider walking 25% faster. [2]

e. Smile big and act as if you were confident.  Fake it till you make it. 

f.  Stand tall, and act like a person with pride.  People respond more positively to such a presence, which will up your confidence.

Action 3:

Take time to actively envision yourself successfully executing that thing which you fear.  Many times, our fears are tied up in our perception that we can’t or won’t be able to do something well.  A simple action that we can take to calm our nerves about a fear of our inability to do something is to imagine, over and over again, our doing that thing well, or perfectly.  Doing so will not only ensure you do that thing better, but you will have less angst leading up to the doing of that thing.

Action 4:

Take massive action to only allow positive thoughts in your mind.  Watching or reading the news, allowing ourselves to think negatively, being around gossipers, or participating in gossiping, will detract from your confidence, and thus incubate your fears.

Action 5:

Practice following what your conscience tells you is right.  In other words, listen to your gut.  By doing so, you will prevent a toxic guilt complex.  Trust your gut.  If something feels wrong, it probably is, so don’t do it.

Action 6:

Release your fear of other people, and of their judgements.  Remember that other people are just as human as you.  Also keep in mind, that people more often than not, really mean well.  And deep down inside, they are actually nice, and don’t have the negative judgements of us that we typically conjure up in our minds.

Be sure to review the ‘Take Action Diagram’ on the following pages, as it will help illuminate why taking action on your fears is helpful.

Once you have reviewed the diagram, consider coming back to the actions mentioned earlier, and pick any item, and decide to take action on it today.

TAKE ACTION DIAGRAM

We are fearful of those things that are outside our comfort zone. The unknown has always brought discomfort to even the greatest of us. This model objectively demonstrates how when we take actions/risks towards facing our fears, we eventually make progress towards overcoming those fears. [3]

Build Confidence In Yourself With Action

Imagine yourself standing within the center of the model, which is your existing comfort zone.  As you take incremental risks, you move outward on this model, to higher level risks, acquiring new levels of confidence in the process.  This level of confidence then allows for you to keep moving (outward) towards that main fear, until you’ve faced it.  At this point, the discomfort of doing that fearful event again should be much less severe, as you have graduated into your newly attained comfort zone.

This model also demonstrates why even after we’ve accomplished a fear inducing goal, why we may continue to still have fears.  It’s important to note, that in most cases, the fear we are experiencing won’t be the same fear as before.  As we choose to stretch ourselves to accomplish bigger or more challenging goals, new fears will arise due to the uncertainty of accomplishing those goals. 

4. LEVERAGE THIS SELF-CONFIDENCE FORMULA

The following Self-Confidence Formula was derived from Napoleon Hill’s classic book, ‘Think and Grow Rich’. [4]

We have found that it has the most optimal effect when it is read consistently, in its entirety, and aloud with deliberate energy every morning just after waking up. 

By reading this mantra daily as a ritual, noticeable changes to your confidence levels may be experienced.  As such, you will be positioning yourself to approach your fears with the heightened courage needed to conquer them.  Here it is:

1. I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my Definite Purpose in life.  Therefore, I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.

2. I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality.  Therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30 minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.

3. I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object.  Therefore, I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence.

4. I have clearly written down a description of my Definite Chief Aim in life.  I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.

5. I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice.  Therefore, I will engage in no transaction that does not benefit all whom it affects.  I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others.  I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success.  I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself.  I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.

COMPANION RESOURCE: 

As part of this strategy, we’ve also included the following mantra, which was written by Walter D. Wintle.[5] 

This mantra is a great reminder of the power that thought has on our life outcomes.  We’ve included it because it is such a helpful reminder on the power belief and mindset can have on how we show up in life.

With constant review, it can strengthen your belief in your ability to will change, and to use your mind to defeat the challenges that lay before you.

MINDSET MANTRA

Best Confidence Building Mantra

Related: Mantras For Success

5. BUILD CONFIDENCE WITH AFFIRMATIONS

If you are not familiar with affirmations, they are essentially statements said to oneself, with conviction about a perceived truth.  They are a way of programming one’s mind into believing what you are telling it. 

Affirmations can be useful for strengthening our minds against a number of self-limiting beliefs.  And they are especially affective for helping people manage a lack of confidence or a strong sense of fear towards doing something.

If you want to learn more about what affirmations are, and how to make them work for you, we highly recommend you read the Psychology Today article, by Ronald Alexander Ph.D. titled: ‘5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You’.

The following phrases are some of the most powerful Fear Conquering affirmations you can use.  They are most impactful when read daily, out loud to yourself.  It is especially effective if you look into a mirror, directly into your eyes, when reciting these affirmations (mirror technique not 100% necessary, especially if you are driving, etc.).

For the sixth one, just fill in the blank with whichever issue you are having doubts about, or fills you with fear due to self-perceived feelings of inadequacies. 

For example; if you have a doubts that you aren’t a strong leader, recite the following: “I am a strong leader.”  Similarly, if you fear you are not good public speaker, you can recite the following:  “I am a great public speaker.”  Also, if you fear you are not a good conversationalist, just recite the following:  “I am a great conversationalist”, and so on and so forth.

 You can also easily interchange the adjective of Great on this sixth affirmation with whichever one you wish to be more of, i.e. good, powerful, successful, calm, peaceful, happy, etc.

  • I AM FEARLESS.
  • WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, I CAN HANDLE IT.
  • I EXUDE CONFIDENCE.
  • I AM POWERFUL, POSITIVE, AND ENERGETIC.
  • I LOVE MYSELF, AS WELL AS OTHERS.
  • I AM A GREAT__________________.

If you’re looking for a more thorough list of affirmations to build your confidence, be sure to check out this resource: Affirmations For Confidence

With that being said, this next section includes a helpful diagram that can help you track how affirmations are impacting your feelings of empowerment over time.  The exercise is optional, but it can help you observe and track progress.

PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT CONTINUUM DIAGRAM: 

This is a powerful diagram that the late Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. inspired via her book, ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’.[6]   It has served as a very useful way to track my progress on my feelings of confidence. 

With the knowledge that you can track how you feel about yourself, and how you perceive yourself in terms of handling your fears, you can gradually improve your situation.   That which gets measured, can improve. 

As such, this diagram is an excellent way to track your progress towards becoming more empowered via the affirmations you used, (or can be used to track your feelings of progress for the implementation of all mentioned strategies), towards building your confidence.  How you measure yourself is purely subjective and relative to your situation, but then again, so is fear.

An important thing to keep in mind, is that the secret to handling our lack of confidence, is our ability to move ourselves from a place of pain (see left side of diagram), to a place of feeling empowered (see right side of diagram).  When we are in a place of pain, we feel helpless, we feel depressed, have a feeling of paralysis (Can’t, Won’t, or Don’t want to do Anything), and are generally apathetic. 

However, when we are empowered, we feel we are capable of making decisions. We have more energy, we take more action, and we conduct ourselves from a place of passion.  Observe the diagram below.

Confidence Tracker

When you’re feeling empowered, you’ll make better choices, have more energy, take more action, and feel a stronger sense of passion and well being in your life.

PAIN TO EMPOWERMENT TRACKING

Consider tracking the impact the affirmations are having on you at the end of each week. Practice your affirmations diligently, and then measure how you feel in each area to if they are working.

Take inventory of your progress towards becoming a bit more confident and a lot more fearless for the next 66 days, using the ‘pain to empower’ diagram.  Simply add a check mark along the spectrum, pinpointing how you feel your empowerment levels rank on a scale from 1 – 8 at the end of every week  (1 being the worst, and nearest to pain, and 8 being the best and nearest to feelings of empowerment).    Tracking like this can help to provide a sense of accomplishment, which can help you push through the entire duration of the formula.

Here is what that measurement and tracking process could look like:

confidence building tracker

Quantify Results to Make Measurable Progress:  Wherever you place your check mark on each of the four spectrums, you can use the location (1 -8) of that check mark as the number to enter in the boxes below.   By doing this, you put a number to your progress.  

In fact, at the end of each week, you can tally up your score for each spectrum (divide it by 4) and then enter it into the TOTAL SCORE box at the bottom.  By quantifying your improvement, you can make measurable progress over time.   For instance, the hypothetical total score on the next page is the total of each spectrum score, divided by 4.  i.e. 7+4+6+8 = 25   so then 25 ÷ 4 equals 6.25 

If you’re total score grows throughout the following weeks, keep doing what you’ve been doing, as a growing score signifies that you’re moving in the right direction.

Related: Affirmations For Success

6. INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE WITH VISUALIZATION

Cheryl Lossie, Ph.D., is a former lecturer of public speaking for Clemson University, and retired public-speaking lecturer who specialized in teaching some of the most fearless people on the planet, the U.S Special Forces, how to overcome their hesitancy of speaking in front of people, and how to do it well. 

When we interviewed Dr. Lossie about what she recommended to her students (the fearless Special Ops folks) for overcoming their fears of public speaking, she informed us that it was to simply practice visualization.

Her recommendation coincided well with much of our research and experiences for overcoming fears, and it aligned with some of Tony Robbins’ research on how to overcome fear as well.   As such, a great mental exercise that you can conduct to help you improve your confidence in doing that thing which you fear doing, is to simply practice visualization.

As a best practice to visualize effectively, it is recommended, that you sit in a quiet place, with no distractions, close your eyes, and then take 2 to 5 minutes to imagine yourself executing flawlessly (in addition rebounding flawlessly, if things do go as planned) that thing which you are so afraid of doing. 

For example:

  • If afraid of public speaking, see yourself giving a flawless presentation.  Also, see yourself getting that standing ovation or that positive response you are seeking from your audience once you’ve finished wowing them.
  • If it’s conducting an important staff-meeting, see yourself taking charge and crushing that meeting.  Imagine in detail exactly what you plan on saying, how you will say it, and think what you will say in response to other attendees at the meeting.
  • If it’s presenting a sales presentation to a client, see yourself giving a perfect sales presentation.  Imagine also, every objection that might come your way, and see yourself handling those objections with grace and confidence.
  • If it’s approaching that beautiful girl at the coffee shop, imagine yourself striking up a conversation confidently, and holding a great engaging conversation with the person.  Imagine everything that could go right.

You may be asking yourself, ‘Is building confidence really this easy?’ And the answer to that question is yes, it is that easy, so long as you put in the time to visualize your ideal outcomes.

With that said, let’s move on to our next confidence building strategy.

7. BUILD CONFIDENCE WITH ENCOURAGING QUOTES

Below you will find 20 power quotes that you can reference at your leisure.  Once you have read all of them, consider coming back to the ones that really speak to you.

The quote that moves you the most is the quote that will be most helpful to read when you need to take action on anything that you are resistant to do.

1. “Fear, the worst of all enemies, can be effectively cured by forced repetition of acts of courage.” – Napoleon Hill

2.  “Fearlessness isn’t a divine gift.  Fearlessness is a daily practice.” – Robin Sharma

3.  “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho

4. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

5.  “There is only one way to avoid criticism:  Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle

6.  “A human becomes fearless by accepting his/her fears.  It is not a question of bravery.  It is simply seeing into the facts of life and realizing that these fears are natural.” – Osho

7.   “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

8.  “Safe is Risky” – Seth Godin

9.   “Life is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting” – Karl Wallenda

10.   “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly ” – Robert F. Kennedy

11.   “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.” – T.S. Eliot

12.   “Greatness lives on the edge of destruction” – Will Smith

13.  “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” – Anais Nin

14.   “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot: but make it hot by striking” – William B. Sprague

15.   “It is never too late to be what you might have been” – George Elliot

16.   “The most important thing to remember is this:  To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become. ” – D.E.B Dubois

17.   “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.  Dream.  Discover.” – Mark Twain

18.   “The only person who never makes mistakes is the person who never does anything” – Dennis Waitely

19.   “People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.  People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.” – Peter Drucker

20.   “It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all” – William James

If you’re looking for additional quotes to boost your confidence and help you life life fearlessly, these collections will do the trick:

8. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF WITH THESE KEY QUESTIONS

The following four questions will bring a new level of clarity to every situation where fear or a lack of confidence may be involved.  It is suggested that you honestly ask these questions of yourself. 

Similarly, when faced with a future challenge or situation which induces anxiousness in you, ask yourselves these questions, and wait for your inside voice to answer the question for you.

After doing so, you should find that these questions have a calming effect on you, thus, gently banishing the fears that your mind has potentially built up around the task at hand. With that said, here are the questions:

Question 1:  What is really on the other side of this thing I am fearing at the moment?

The answer is always… NOTHING.

Question 2:  If I knew that I could handle anything that came my way, what would I possibly have to fear?

The answers is… NOTHING.

Question 3:  If the worst possible outcome related to doing this thing that is making me so afraid, actually happened, would I be able to handle the outcome?

The answer is…YES.

Question 4:  If I let this fear get the best of me, and allow it to keep me from doing that which  am afraid to accomplish, will I, on my deathbed, regret that I had not made the decision to do that thing which I so feared?

The answer is… IT IS UP TO YOU.

Related: Books For Confidence

9. DIGEST THESE CONFIDENCE-BUILDING TED TALK VIDEOS

To help you increase your confidence while simultaneously minimizing fear and its shrewd ability to limit our lives, we’ve curated four classic Ted Talks you should watch.  Our hope is that you’ll watch them and learn some new tactics that you can use to build your confidence and overcome your fears rapidly.

Here are the videos:

VIDEO 1:  AMY CUDDY

This is an extremely inspirational video by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy.  She provides amazing insight into how research is starting to suggest that we are influenced by our own non-verbal communication to ourselves. 

In short, she reveals how our non-verbal’s (like body language) can influence how we think and feel about ourselves.  It’s great information to help you build confidence so you can become fearless.   Her last suggestion is what is most important.  “Fake it till you Become it”.  

VIDEO 2:  TIM FERRISS

Author of ‘Tools of Titans’ and productivity guru Tim Ferris gives a nice intellectual breakdown on how he learned to deconstruct his fears so he can eventually conquer them.  If you watch the video till the end, he eventually ties all of his examples together to help you understand how you can overcome fear. 

His last two messages are by far the most important.  “Fear is your friend.” and “What is the worst that could happen?”

VIDEO 3:  JOE KOWAN

An entertaining and uplifting video that details how singer-songwriter  Joe Kowan eventually learned how to overcome his fear of being on stage.  Joe does this by ritually singing a stage fright song that he created before every event he does. 

It’s very powerful and is a must watch for those who need to build confidence for getting on stage or in front of large groups of people.  Click on the image above to watch.


VIDEO 4:  JIA JANG

Author of ‘Rejection Proof’, Jia Jiang, provides a very funny, informative, and helpful video for overcoming our fears.  He starts slow, but his message really picks up steam half way through.  By the end of the video, you will have laughed a dozen times and you will most certainly have gained some powerful insights for overcoming your fears and dealing with rejection. 

Jia Jiang’s last statement really knocks it out of the park, when he admonishes that we embrace our fears, because it is in doing so, that we are bound to discover our biggest opportunities.

10. FIND YOUR LIGHT

Why are we so afraid to do what we truly want in this life?  Why are we always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions we make? 

Too many of us tuck our dreams and true interests away in some small corner at the first sign of disapproval from others. We don’t follow our own heart, we don’t we follow our light.  Why?

Robert Greene, said it so well in his book ‘Mastery’, as he pinpoints exactly what happens to so many people. In fact, it is what happens to all of us when we don’t follow our true inclinations.  He states the following:

“Conforming to social norms, you will listen more to others than to your own voice.  You may choose a career path based on what peers and parents tell you, or on what seems lucrative.  If you lose contact with (your) inner calling, you can have some success in life, but eventually your lack of true desire catches up with you.  Your work becomes mechanical.  You come to live for leisure and immediate pleasures.” [7]

So, if you are afraid to do what you truly want in this life, don’t be.  You only have one life to live, and none of us are getting out of here alive anyway.

If you are always letting other people’s opinions drive the decisions you make, or cause you to doubt yourself, with respect all due respect, stop!  Your opinions and interests matter, what interests you is important.

No more tucking your dreams and true interests away, no more hiding your talents because others may disapprove of them.  If you want to live a confident and fearless life, you have to follow your dreams.

This is the last act, because it requires the most self-examination and courage to act on your insights; however, it also harnesses the most potential to help you become confident, act boldly, and live fearlessly.  

Thus, to help you follow you fire, your light, your dreams, you first need to know exactly what it is that YOU want.  As such, this strategy is essentially an exercise to help you discover what your calling is, so you can follow it.

Once you’ve completed the self-discovery process, your job is to then focus on bringing it to life by making plans to live it.

FIND YOUR CALLING EXERCISE

Here is a tool you can use to help you find your light, your fire, or whatever you want to call it.

Ultimately, it is a questionnaire that will help you bring more clarity to your life. Improved clarity leads to confidence, and confidence leads to action, and action eventually turns into results.

Give it a look here: Find Your Light Guide

IMPLEMENTATION

By answering all of the questions in the guide provided, and giving each one your sincere and thorough consideration, you’ll discover a deeper awareness of who you are, what makes you happy, and what you should be doing with your life.

When every decision you make, every action you take is aligned with the fulfillment of the life objective you discover from this exercise, you will, without a doubt, have the confidence to truly live fearlessly.

BUILDING THE CONFIDENCE TO LIVE LIFE FEARLESSLY

A final word of caution. There is nothing more crushing in your pursuit of becoming your absolute best or in deciding to become who you truly want to be, then by having someone within your inner circle questions your intentions and doubt your possibilities. 

“THERE IS NOTHING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT SHRINKING SO THAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL NOT FEEL INSECURE AROUND YOU.  WE ARE ALL MEANT TO SHINE.”

   –  MARIANNE WILLIAMSON  –

As you’ve probably experienced, fear and doubt can spread swiftly like a virus.  As such, you must take proper precautions to make yourself immune to its infection. 

A good starting point, in making yourself immune, is to understand that doubters are simply afraid.  They are afraid of not living up to their potential, afraid that you may outshine them.  These individuals, will claw and scrape, and try to hurt you, to keep you fearful of life, fearful of your very best.

Often times, they don’t do this consciously. It’s their subconscious insecurities that compel them to lash out. And they lash out at you because they have yet to find the courage to face their fears and pursue their potential as you do.

If possible, remove these doubters from your life.  Remove, as best as you can, anyone who doubts your potential, who doubts your skills, your abilities, your choices, your greatness. 

If you can’t completely remove these people from your life, then distance yourself from them.  Spend as little time around them as possible, so as to minimize their negative influences on you. 

If distancing yourself from them is not an option, then you must create a mental firewall to negate their negativity, to negate their doubts.  A simple way to do this, is to convince yourself that their judgement no longer holds the weight that it once had.

Begin at once, to see yourself as a lion, and ‘them’ as the sheep (because that’s what they are) and reinforce your mental firewall with the following thought….

“A LION DOESN’T CONCERN HIMSELF WITH THE OPINIONS OF THE SHEEP.”

   –  ANONYMOUS  –

A final word of encouragement. Congratulations, you now have tools to become as confident as you want to be.  The choice to embrace your new found confidence and live life fearlessly is now solely up to you.

We encourage you to decide to be confident today, to make the decision to believe that you can handle whatever this world throws at you.  If you make this simple decision, and practice our recommended strategies, you will in effect be choosing to be fearless, and as a result, you will be. 

If the fears and doubts begin to creep back in, remember that you can rely on the power of belief and the power of pursuit, to drive your fears away.

As you move forward towards becoming more confident, towards taking on new and greater challenges, we are sure everything in life will begin to change for you. 

Believe that you can do whatever it is that you wish to do.  Have faith in yourself, have faith in your vision, believe that you deserve the best, because my friend, you do. 

STRIVE To Go Fearless!

REFERENCES

[1] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 22.

[2] David J. Schwartz Ph.D., The Magic of Thinking Big (New York: Prentice Hall, 1965), 52.

[3] Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 36.

[4] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 57,58.

[5] Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich (Connecticut: THE RALSTON SOCIETY, 1938), 59, 60.

[6] Susan Jeffers Ph.D., Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway (New York: Ballantine Books, 2007), 26.

[7] Robert Greene, Mastery (New York: Penguin Group, 2012), 13,14.

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Confidence

HOW TO GAIN INSTANT SOCIAL CONFIDENCE AND UNLEASH YOUR INNER WINNER

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How to Gain Social Confidence

Have you ever admired those people who seem to “have it all”?  The ones you see conversing confidently at business meetings or powerfully at social gatherings.

How about the ones with the best jobs, the perfect spouses, the top-notch friends, the biggest bank accounts, or living in the hippest neighborhoods?

You know in your gut, they are not smarter than you.  They are definitely not more educated than you.  And better looking?  Ha! No way, not even close!

So what is it?

What is it, that these “lucky” few seem to possess, that the rest of the worlds doesn’t?

The answer may come as a surprise, but it is nothing more then their ability to manufacture instant confidence.

Yes, confidence!

Confidence is a magical thing that can do much for you, if you learn how to unleash it at will.

How to Gain Confidence

You see, many people never realize that being over-looked for that promotion was their own fault.  They never realize, that those deep-cutting rejections they keep experiencing, is their fault as well.

They ignore the facts.  And the facts are, that the people who seem to get the deals they want, the promotions they want, and even the spouse they want, all stem from how confident they were when it came time win it.

When it came time to execute, the people who have the most confidence in their ability to get what they want, end up getting it.

It’s as if their confidence were a type of a magic spell.  A spell that allows them to magically turn everything they do into a success.

The great news is, anyone can harness this magical quality.  Anyone can master their ability to make bosses want to hire and promote them, and their ability to keep clients and customers addicted to their offerings.  Anyone can master self-confidence.

If you want to, you can start winning more in life.  You too can have your own form of the Midas touch.  But, you need to be willing to practice and apply what I am about to teach you.

If you’re looking to gain an advantage over those select few who seems to be naturally kicking-ass and taking names, then you need to employ these strategies.  By doing so, you will gain the confidence that will put you leagues above the competition.

Study and practice these confidence hacks and you’ll soon become “that person” who’s gets whatever they want in life.

7 WAYS TO GAIN SOCIAL CONFIDENCE INSTANTLY

Gain Social Confidence

1. Be More Prepared

First things first.  If you want to exude the type of confidence that comes off as natural, and packs the most punch, it is this, be sure you are prepared.

To get ahead of the competition in anything, you need to be more prepared than them.  But to really showcase the confidence that you are a winner, a closer, or the best person for the job, is to be over prepared.

In everything you do, especially where a prize is to be won (and let’s be honest, there is always a prize to be won), you must know you know your stuff.  Knowing your stuff is the first step to supercharged levels of self-confidence.

Know It!

The prize almost always goes to the person who is more prepared, unless of course, the competition demonstrates subtle signs of heightened confidence.  Subtle signs of higher levels of self-confidence that can only come if they’ve made it a point to ensure the following: a strong belief in themselves.

2. Manufacture Self-Belief

Confidence, at its core, is having a deep and certain belief in yourself.   It is easy to sense who believes in themselves, and who doesn’t.  And most people, don’t believe in themselves.  Most people aren’t convinced they are capable of doing anything they set their minds to.

But, there are a few who are convinced.  And many of the few who are convinced, have become so, by choice.  They were not born with a strong sense of self-belief, but, they learned that they can manufacture it at will.  They learned how to force themselves to believe in numero uno, themselves.

How did they do it?  Easy.

They used affirmations.  Affirmations are one of the most powerful ways that any person can start cranking up their self-belief today.  All you got to do, is utter a few words.

You can’t half-ass it though.  You must repeat your self-designed affirmations that best fortify your mind against any of your perceived weaknesses.  And it must be done with conviction.

If you practice affirmations with consistency, and the conviction that it will work, you’ll be surprised by the boost in your self-belief.  And a boost in self-belief leads to the type of confidence that seems to naturally flow from every word and action of the “successful”.

Affirmations are powerful, so use them.  But know, that winners always find other ways to one up the competition.  Winners are always looking for new techniques and strategies that can give them the edge.

If you want to win the game, you will need to ensure you are injecting your confidence with other solid confidence building strategies.  Strategies and techniques that will ensure you have the confidence to dominate.

Keep on reading for more of these strategies.

Related: Confidence Affirmations

3. Project Confidence

Look, sometimes, you won’t feel as confident as you’d like to.  You may be the most prepared, you may even have rock-solid self-belief after doing affirmations, but there will be times when you still feel a bit off.  If this is the case, fear not.  You can still ensure you are seen as the most confident, if when you don’t feel like it, by tapping your inner peacock.

What do I mean, by tapping your inner peacock!  I mean you should project your confidence, like a peacock.

Peacocks strut their stuff.  They make sure they are noticed.  They don’t hide their tail, and neither should you.

It may sound crazy, but it works.  Here are few things you can do project your confidence, and start being noticed as the uber-confident Rockstar we both know you can be.

Start Speaking Up

In all occasions, you need to start speaking up.  Force yourself to participate and engage in conversations.  Confident people mix an mingle.  Confident people aren’t afraid of mixing it up with people, both in work settings and social settings.  So force yourself to engage with others.  By doing so, you’ll come across as a confident person who is surer of himself.  Do it enough, and eventually you will become that person.

Force Eye Contact

When you start speaking up, people will begin to engage with you.  And when they do, you need to make sure you are making strong eye contact with them.  If you find yourself looking away when people speak to you, they will sense you lack confidence.  When you look away, people smell blood, weakness.  So don’t look away.

Force yourself to gaze at their eyes.  Make them be the first to break eye-contact.  When you do so, you establish your dominance, and people will feel your confidence.

Walk With Purpose

Start paying attention to how you walk.  And when you do walk, start walking like a champ.  Don’t drag your feet, don’t walk slow, don’t slouch.

Instead, walk with purpose.  Confident people walk like they are on a mission.  Usually, it is because they are on a mission.  If you want to be seen as a confident person, as a person who is on a mission, pick up the pace.  Consider walking at least 25% faster.

But I don’t have a mission? 

Now you do.  Your new mission is to showcase your confidence, and walk with purpose.

Smile Bigger

Smiling says to the world that everything is going well for me.  Smiling conveys happiness, ease, and confidence.  Unhappy people don’t laugh or smile much.  Which showcases to the world that they somehow somewhere are not in control of their lives.

So, if you want to be seen as a confident person who has their stuff together, smile bigger.  You may have to fake it at first, but like they say, fake it till you make it.

Act Like a Winner

Lastly, act like a winner.  Act like the winner that you want to be.  Stand up straight, put your chin out, and act like a person with pride.  Act like a person who makes a million bucks, act like a person who always gets the girl (or guy).  Act like a winner, a champion, a giant.

Why?  Because people respond positively to people with presence. And when people positively respond to you powerful presence, your confidence will start to grow.

4. Get Into Shape

Look good, feel good, play good.  When you get into shape, meaning, you sculpt your body into a shape that you feel good about, you will convey those good feelings out to the world.

When you look in the mirror and like what you see, you instantly improve your social confidence.

There are also scientific reasons for why exercising will make you feel better.  Not only will it help you get a better grip on your weight, it will help you reduce anxiety and feelings of depression.  But most importantly, it will give you energy.

And if there is anything a confident person has, it is energy.  So if you want improve your confidence, get into shape.

5. Know Where You are Going

Confident people know where they are going in life. They live with purpose.  They pursue goals, and they work hard to achieve them.

Typically, it is the people who don’t have any goals and are meandering through life aimlessly that seem to have zero confidence.

They don’t have confidence because they don’t need it.  They’re not going anywhere or doing anything with their lives that would demand it.

But goals, especially BIG ones, will demand your confidence.

So, if you want to inject instant confidence into your life, create a solid plan for achieving some audacious goals.  And then get started on chasing those goals.

Because it is the chase that will tell your subconscious mind, “Okay, I am going somewhere, I can do this, I am going to be someone.”

Related: Find More Direction & Purpose

6. Exert Extra Effort

Having an extra-mile mindset is the name of the game.  People who live the extra-mile mindset know it is like a cheat code for unleashing their inner winner.

Champions become champions by going the extra-mile.  They win because of their willingness to give everything they do, a little extra effort.

They know the difference between try and triumph is a little “umph”.

When you approach every area in your life with the extra-mile mindset, which is the mindset that you will do whatever it takes to win, to improve, to get better, to succeed, you communicate to yourself and to the world, that you and champions are cut from the same cloth.

When you live this approach, and do everything in this mode, something magical happens.  You start to win more.  You will begin to win in all that you do, and this winning will lead to more and more confidence for you.

So start pushing your limits, start going the extra-mile in every area of your life.  When you do so you set the stage for the avalanche of confidence that is bound to come your way.

7. Go Fearless

Imagine if there was a magic pill you could take that would almost instantly turn you into a uber-confident action hero.  After taking this pill, you’d be filled with courage and feel invincible, like you could take on the world.  Well, there is no such pill, but there is a next best thing, its called ‘Go Fearless’.

Go Fearless has over 57 little confidence hacks that will help you gain Big success in many aspects of your life:  including how to overcome the fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success, and the general lack action that stems from too little confidence in yourself.

If you are serious about becoming confident in all areas of your life, then read, study, and practice everything within this powerful little resource.

Conclusion

We all have an inner winner within us.  But, that beast needs to be unleashed.  If you want to start racking up some wins, you will need to let it out into the world.

When you learn how to turn your confidence on at will, amazing things will begin to happen for you.

Remember, you don’t have to be born confident, good-looking, or rich to start succeeding.  Just follow the steps outlined on how to gain confidence, and you will catapult yourself onto a whole new level of success.

Now go put these strategies into practice and unleash your inner winner.

Till next time,

STRIVE

PS  –  If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, read Go Fearless today!

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Confidence

20 BEST BOOKS TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE AND IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM (2022)

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best books on confidence

Self-confidence; it’s something everyone points to when they say why they aren’t succeeding.  Hence our need to create this particular post on self confidence books.

Because let’s admit it.  At one time or another we’ve all blamed ourselves and our lack of confidence for why something didn’t go as planned in our life.

It could have been that date that didn’t go so well, the botched job interview, or even that business deal that fell through.  Whatever the case may be, many times, a lack of confidence is the culprit.

We say to ourselves, “I just don’t have enough confidence.”

But that’s not true.  It’s not true, because confidence is not something you have, rather, it is something you create.

Confidence is a State of Mind

Top Books on Confidence

Confidence is a state of mind, a feeling, and a way of being that can be created at will.

When you come to understand this, you’ll be able to turn on your confidence at a moment’s notice.  And when you know how to do this, you’ll start finding more of the success you seek.

Now I can tell you this truth over and over again until I am blue in the face, but, it will never be real to you until you’ve deeply ingrained this fact into your own mind.

And the best way to ingrain this fact into your own mind, is to become a student of confidence.

No, you don’t have to sign up for college courses to become a student of confidence.

To become a student of confidence all you have to do is… read.  You must read and study books on the subject of confidence.

Simple right?  So where should you start?

Start Here

Start with this list.  I’ve pulled together a list of the best books on building self-confidence that I’ve ever come across.  No doubt, there are hundreds of books on confidence, but let’s be honest, who (aside from Ph.D. students) has the time to read hundreds of books on a single topic?

Exactly, hardly anyone!

So, if you want to master confidence and improve your self-esteem,  just read a handful of the following books recommended on confidence and you should be good to go.  You don’t have to read hundreds of books on confidence to learn the fundamentals.  Trust me, this handful of books will do the trick.

Every book provides something different, yet, every single one also confirms what I just said…

Which is, that how confident you become is completely up to you, because confidence is all in your head.

So, behold the 20 Books you must read if you ever wish to master self-confidence:

20 Best Books on Building Self-Confidence

self confidence books

[Full Disclosure: Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.]

1. Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway

‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ is a classic book by the late Dr. Susan Jeffers.  In this book, Susan Jeffers offers up solid advice for overcoming the paralysis and inaction that stems from being fearful and lacking confidence.  Susan Jeffers pulls her knowledge from many years of research, and lecturing on the topic of transforming fear, indecision, and even anger into power, action, and extreme confidence.

The book contains a handful of practical insights and exercises that you can immediately implement to help you come to the realization that confidence is something to be nurtured and cultivated, much like a muscle.

This book is both an eye-opener and a solid book to begin with on your journey towards building your confidence.

Feel the Fear Confidence Book

2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Fear, doubt, and worry can be debilitating.  Possessing just one of these problems can indeed stop the best of us from reaching the heights of success we seek.  How so?  Because fear and doubt kills self-confidence.  And if success demands anything, it demands self-confidence.

This book is comprised of many recipes Mr. Carnegie pulled together from night classes he would teach to adult students on how to overcome worry.

‘How to Start Worrying and Start Living’ is a cure for anyone who wishes to eliminate the debilitating effects of fear and worry from their lives, so they fortify their confidence and get on with succeeding in their life.

Stop Worrying Start Living Confidently

3. Unstoppable Confidence

This book touches on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to help you get out of your comfort zone and master your self-confidence.    If you are unfamiliar with NLP, it is basically a scientific approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy that delivers practical ways in which you can change the way you think, view past events, and approach your life.

Much of this book uses ideas and concepts that Tony Robbins suggests for improving self-confidence, and they’ll work for you too.  ‘Unstoppable Confidence’ can teach you how to harness confidence levels that will make you, well…unstoppable.

Unstoppable Confidence Book

4. Think and Grow Rich

‘Think and Grow Rich’ is so much more than a confidence book, it is a success book.  However, the author, Napoleon Hill, understood that success requires a strong foundation built on self-confidence.

As such, the book provides a handful of potent insights and formulas that can help you gain the confidence you’ll need to start growing more successful, and yes even richer in your life.

This book is a must read for every person.  If you practice his self-confidence formula alone, you can dramatically improve your confidence in no time at all.

Think and Grow Confident

5. How to Talk to Anyone

Many people are confident in just about everything they do.  But for some people, when it comes to talking to people, they clam up, get anxious, and come across as less than self-assured.

If you’ve ever felt a lack of confidence when communicating with colleagues, strangers, or the opposite sex, this book can help you with crushing those feelings of uncertainty. Not only does this book educate on the nuances of confidence, but it gives you practical and effective tactics that you can employ immediately that will make you appear poised and self-assured, even if you’re not 100% there mentally. In other words, this book will help you fake it till you make it.

Having confidence when speaking with people is one of the most important skills you could acquire for successfully navigating your way to the top of your career.  So, if you know your confidence lacks in the ‘people department’ then you must read this book.

How to Talk to Anyone with Confidence

6. The Magic of Thinking Big

David Schwartz Ph.D. has created a masterful book with ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, which is why over 6 million copies of the book have been sold.

In this book, Dr. Schwartz touches on many key areas that we all need to improve on to start succeeding in life.  Much of the book revolves around improving how you think about situations, people, and your future.  It deals with how to improve you attitude and perspectives, which in turn will help you to start taking the action necessary to reach your BIG goals.

Chapters 3 ‘Build Confidence and Destroy Fear’, Chapter 10 ‘Get the Action Habit’, Chapter 11 ‘How to Turn Defeat into Victory’, and Chapter 13 ‘How to Think Like a Leader’ are the most effective chapters for building your self-confidence.

All in all, this is one of my favorite self confidence books, and its probably the one confidence building book you can’t afford to miss.

Magic of Thinking Big

7. How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking

Dale Carnegie has created the perfect toolset for helping people dial into their confidence at will.  This book contains multiple confidence boosting tips that will help you acquire poise, increase your memory, improve the delivery of your message, and appear more charming to everyone you interact with.

This book was created to teach people how to overcome their fears of public speaking; however, the strategies he provides to help you increase your confidence to speak in front of large audiences can also be applied towards overcoming other confidence issues in other areas of your life.

How you ask?  Because when you master public speaking, you simultaneously wipe out your timidity and gain the courage and assurance to deal with people.  In short, confidence gained in one department will help you gain the confidence you may need in others.

How to Develop Self-Confidence Book

8. You Are a Badass

‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero, is not specifically geared towards improving confidence; however, it covers a wide range of self-improvement topics that when combined, can help you strengthen your over all sense of self, and with that, your confidence.

Within the book there is a chapter specifically for confidence, titled, ‘Fear Is For Suckers’.  This chapter provides some great perspectives on fear and confidence that can help you significantly boost your confidence.

You Are a Badass

9. Presence

Amy Cuddy is the famous TED talk professor who first acquainted us with power poses and using our physiology to increase our confidence levels.

Well, she helps deliver a similar message in this book, and she does it with detail and backs it all up with solid research.

When you read this book, be prepared to learn about the power of your personal story, how to overcome impostor syndrome, and how to utilize you posture to level up your confidence.

As a student of confidence, this is one book you won’t want to miss.

Best Confidence Books

10. The Confidence Gap

This book is a great confidence book to compliment the others already mentioned.  This book does what it says, it fills the confidence gap.

How does it do this?  Well, it does this by giving the readers a different perspective on dealing with their confidence or lack thereof.  Russ Harris offers a novel solution to confidence by encouraging you to form a different relationship with your confidence, instead of trying to force yourself to overcome your confidence limitations.

In this book you will learn about the power of mindfulness and some techniques for keeping your negative thoughts and feelings at bay so your confidence levels can soar.

This book is certainly worth the read and it will truly help fill some of the confidence gaps we all face.

Confidence Book

11. The Power of Self-Confidence

Brian Tracy is a seasoned sales/business guru who knows a thing or two about success.  Truth is, it is hard to lose with Brian Tracy in your corner.  He’s pushed out countless resources ranging from self-discipline, to time-management, to self-confidence.

And in just about all of his resources, you’ll hear him mention the importance of your inner-game, of your mindset and how you feel about yourself.

Without a doubt, this book will help you understand why it is so essential to have faith in your abilities and believe in yourself.

Read this book and build the unshakable confidence you know deep down in your heart you are capable of wielding.

Power of Self Confidence Book

12. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence

Comfort is the kiss of death to success.  And in this book, you will learn why.

As such, you’ll find plenty of admonishments in this book to step outside of your comfort zone, and in so doing, dramatically strengthen your confidence levels.

If you are okay with real-talk, truth, and zero punches being pulled, you will enjoy this book.  Beware though, this is not a PG book.  It will speak to you as an adult, so be prepared for a good push.

Best Confidence Books

13. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

This book will wake you up to what true confidence is all about.  Author, Nathaniel Branden provides firm answers to questions we all have related to our confidence and self-esteem.

If you’re looking for answers, you’ll find them here.  You’ll learn what self-esteem really is, you’ll learn why it is so important to cultivate it, how you can increase your own self-esteem levels, and what role our external environment (other people) plays in our confidence levels.

Without a doubt, you’ll be sure to find many ‘Aha!’ moments in this book, and a solid foundation to building up your self-esteem, and with it, your confidence.

Best Confidence Books

Become an Extrovert, Even If You’re Shy -> Click Here

14. Unleash The Warrior Within

‘Unleash The Warrior Within’ is authored by former Navy SEAL Richard Machowicz.  And as you’d suspect, he provides tons of confidence boosting strategies that he acquired from his time in the military.

Richard has you break down your fears into smaller, bite sized components, making them much easier to attack.  He also spends time educating his readers on the importance of mindset.

As a fan of the warrior ethos, I enjoy how the author combats those areas of our lives that can hold us back and keep us from doing what we need to do most to achieve our goals.   If you want more confidence, read this book, you can’t go wrong.

Unleash the Warrior

15. Psycho-Cybernetics

Don’t let the name of this book scare you.  It may sound daunting and super scientific, but rest assured that the material contained within it will be easy to digest and better yet, easy to implement towards building up your self-confidence.

The author of the book, Maxwell Maltz holds a Ph.D. and lays out his years of his experience and observation on how powerful self-image is when it comes to helping us achieve the results we are after. 

You’ll learn about the power of perception, self-esteem, and how large a role our self-image can play in our ability to achieve. In addition to this, you’ll learn some powerful strategies you can employ to immediately and positively impact your confidence levels.  So, If you’re looking for a time tested book on confidence that is based in science, this is a book everyone should read.

Confidence Books

16.  The Power of Positive Thinking

I know what your thinking, what does positive thinking have to do with Confidence.  But here me out.  This book, with out a doubt belongs in this selection of the best books on confidence because of the wisdom provided chapter after chapter by the late great Norman Vincent Peale specifically for helping its readers lead a more positive and confident life.

Now, just as a heads up, the wisdom provided in this great book does have religious undertones too them; however, this is exactly where much of the power of this book comes in to play.  So, if you are not religious, or don’t care for biblical references you can skip this book and read all the others, BUT, I assure you, you’ll be cutting yourself short if you do so.  If you’ve read all the confidence books in the world, and yet you still feel like you are coming up short in the confidence department, well then you’ll definitely want to invest in this book.  It WILL help your conquer your confidence and self-esteem challenges and instill in you the faith to conquer your internal/external fears.

Confidence Books

17.  Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It

This is a great book to add to your library of books that can help you boost your confidence levels.  The premise of the books revolves around what negative self-talk is, why you should work to minimize the amount of it you do, and how to go about doing so.

It really is a great tool/book to consider for helping you build your confidence because of the important role our self-talk plays in how we feel about ourselves.  Essentially, lots of negative self-talk leads to feeling less confident and less negative self-talk essentially leads to feeling more confident.

As such, this is a worthy book to own to help you get a handle on your negative inner voice, and as a result, positively improve your confidence levels.

Negative Self Talk Book on Confidence

18. The 5 Second Rule

Mel Robbins brings a whole new definition to confidence in this book. She’ll help dispel the myth the confidence is merely a lack of belief in yourself, but rather, it’s the willingness or unwillingness to try.

Without a doubt, you’ll walk away from this book realizing that confidence is related to action. And you’ll begin to realize that confidence doesn’t start with belief, but rather, confidence starts with action. And since Mel’s book is primarily about action, we could not deny adding her book to our invaluable list of books on confidence.

So, use this book to push yourself to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.

5 Second Rule Book for Confidence

19. Daring Greatly

Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly is the wake up call we all need. She doesn’t pull any punches and definitely tells it like it is in this book. Which is why it made the cut for our no B.S. list of self-confidence books. The biggest take away you’ll get from this book is that it is okay to be vulnerable. Her book provides a great combination of solid research and casual storytelling that will help you ease into being more being more vulnerable. And the more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the more confident you’ll become as you come to realize you can handle whatever it is life is happening to throw your way.

So, if you’re looking for a book to dare you to step outside of your comfort zone, to be bigger than your anxieties, and to get you living and leading more confidently, then this book is a must read.

Daringly Greatly Confidence Book

20. Go Fearless

‘Go Fearless’ is a synthesis of the best confidence building strategies from many of the self confidence books just mentioned.  It was written by yours truly, after riding the confidence roller coaster for many years.  After going from outgoing and confident to feeling shy and withdrawn for many years, I set out to re-discover the confidence and fearlessness I had in my youth.  After learning how to bounce back into the outgoing and confident person I knew I was capable of being, I decided to share what I learned.

This book does not waste your time with drawn out stories or background, it gives you exactly what you need to know, NOW, so you can get started on building your confidence ASAP.

If there were ever a shortcut to learning how to master self-confidence, this book would be it.  It’s a confidence building workbook, a tool, and a true call to action.

So, if you’re looking for a no B.S. guide to help you start living your life like a lion, and not a lamb, go get this book and ‘Go Fearless’!  Your future self will thank you for it.

Get Confident Go Fearless

Final Words on These Self Confidence Books

There you have it, the 20 best books you can read to get started on mastering the one thing that can make all the difference in how much success you’ll find in your life; confidence.

After you’ve read these books for self-confidence improvement, you’ll realize that having a sense of confidence is nothing but a sense of power within yourself, a sense of certainty that you can pull off just about anything.

Read these books and you’ll finally come to understand what confidence really is, and you’ll learn that you have the power to create it at any moment in time.

To Your Success!

STRIVE

PS – If you’ve enjoyed this article on the best self confidence books, then you’ll also enjoy this piece on ‘The 7 Ways to Gain Instant Confidence’.

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