BEST TIPS FOR OVERCOMING FEAR TO ACHIEVE YOUR BEST LIFE
If you’re looking for some practical tips for overcoming fear you’ve come to the right place. In this post we will be providing you with a handful of some of the most effective strategies to help you overcome fears so you can ultimately improve your life.
Before we get started, it’s probably a good idea to first establish what fear actually is. So, as a standard fear is best defined as, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.”
Fear is also that sinking feeling in your stomach telling you to abandon ship. It’s that’s self-doubt and self-consciousness you feel every so often wrapped into one.
But, fear can be a good thing. It can be a good thing because it is something that can lead you to success. Fear instinctually tells us to run the other way. Which means it also simultaneously shows us where the opportunities lie.
Thus, learning to love your fear is the first step to becoming the best version of yourself.
Our brains are easily programmable. Fear exists when there aren’t enough reference points for the mind to articulate reality. Without attempting to tackle fears, they become insurmountable in our minds. The moment these fears are tested however, they begin to show us the light.
How to Start Overcoming Fear
That said, here’s how you can start overcoming fear in your own life. First things first; your fear will control you up until the moment you deal with it. It will always be lingering at the back of your mind – waiting to strike.
Fear doesn’t want you to step up and take a risk. Fear would rather you stay in your comfort zone while it gets fed by your constant anxiety. In short, fear is what helps you stay alive.
However, in this day and age, overcoming fear is required if you wish to thrive. You HAVE to face your fears to get anywhere in life. Without facing your fears you won’t ever know what it means to dive headfirst into the unknown. You’ll always be looking for the safe route in life – safe is easy. But, safe doesn’t get you anywhere.
Thus, the only real way to overcome fear, is to ultimately face it. That said, there are a few shortcuts that one can take to ultimately inch closer even the most fearful person, closer to facing theirs.
Which is why we created this powerful set of tips for overcoming fear. We want to help you overcome the obstacles that hold too many people back from facing their fears and living their best lives. So, let’s dive in and get you on your way to better understanding your fears, so you ultimately overcome them once and for all.
BEST TIPS FOR OVERCOMING FEAR
1) Acknowledge Where Fear Comes From
Fear comes from the mind’s inability to understand a scenario without evidence. Your fears don’t define you – it’s just the mind’s way of coping with the unknown. Being afraid is normal.
The issue stems from letting these fears run rampant. The mind requires evidence to make conclusions, without facing your fears the resulting anxiety begins to multiply. Realize that fears are untested thoughts and the control they have over you starts to dwindle.
2) Your Fears Want the Best
Fears do attempt to stop us from bettering ourselves but they want us to become the best version of ourselves. It’s irony at its best. Let fear control you or control your fear and be rewarded.
The gut feeling that you’re scared is how you know you’re on the right track. You’re venturing into the unknown, the mind feels it’s at risk. Give the mind the evidence it needs to stop being scared. Let your mind make evidence-based conclusions and understand that the projections we imagine don’t hold up in reality.
3) You Grow in Discomfort
How do you know you’re making progress? You feel uncomfortable.
Facing your fears is the ultimate discomfort. You’re letting your mind know that you are willing to object comfort. Letting yourself be uncomfortable goes against the grain, your entire reality is at risk.
And you know what? Let your reality get shattered. Let the mind see that your fears are nothing but jumped-the-gun conclusions. The more you face your fears, the more you begin embracing them. The growth you gain by tackling your discomfort is incomprehensible.
4) You Make Your Own Reality
Are you going to sit patiently and hope good things come to you?
Or would you rather defy reality and get what it is you want out of life?
Overcoming your fears is the difference between winners and losers. No one will live your life for you, you must make yourself be heard. Without ever taking risks, you’ll be right where you started.
Instead of sitting quietly, ask your boss for the raise you deserve. Ask the girl/guy out that you’ve been eyeing for the past few weeks. Sign up for that rock climbing class.
Opportunities are ripe for the taking.
5) Fear is Your Guiding Light
Embrace your fears. Begin a romantic relationship with the fact that you feel human. Start loving the feeling inside of your stomach that’s attempting to keep you safe. Fear wants you to stay right where you are, it’s telling you exactly what you need to know.
Walking right into your fears rather than running. When emotions are left undealt with, they run rampant. It’s your mission to understand yourself better, to dive deep into uncomfortable emotions. Thrive in your fear.
6) Be a Badass
The amount of self-confidence you gain from fear busting is immense. You’ll go from sitting in a corner, paralyzed from fear to understanding that your fears on a deep level are helping you rather than hurting. You can become a badass by simply choosing to take baby steps towards overcoming your deepest fears.
You can also fake it till you make it, walk with a bit more swagger. Think, walk, and act like the badass you want to be, and you’ll become it.
You only have one life to live. It’ll take you a split-second of your time to face fear. You’re trading off a second of your life for self-confidence that lasts a lifetime. It’s hard to say no to that!
7) Change Your Perspective
Change your perspective. If you don’t feel fear, something is wrong.
Fear drives us to jump. Without this compelling urge to investigate, to make a change, we would never strive to better ourselves. Imagine what your life would look like without fear, it’d be boring as hell!
Most people don’t realize the incredible transformational power that fear holds. The ones that seek fear are the ones that seek opportunities and take risks. Risk-taking is how you develop intuition. So, strive to see fear from a different perspective.
Feel the fear, and do that thing that you fear anyway.
8) Build a Social Circle that Pushes You
You need to find likeminded people who are also pushing their boundaries. These friends are the people who will be there to remind you that your fear is unsubstantiated. There will be moments where you need that extra push off the proverbial cliff.
It’s easy to give advice but to practice what you preach can be difficult. Find a group of people who are pushing themselves constantly as they will push you when needed. Pushing the envelope gets a bit easier when a friend reminds you that you’ll be ok in the end.
9) Face Your Fear TODAY
Time gets faster as we grow older. Blink and you might miss the next few years.
You don’t have time to wait. Life will be over before you know it. You’ll want to relish the action you took and the braveness you showed throughout your life. You won’t remember the times that you sat at home with your favorite ice cream watching Netflix. The memories that stick are ones that impact our lives.
How many years of staying in your comfort zone need to go by before you take action?
You’ll be ok. Your fear wants the best in you. You won’t recognize yourself if you continue facing your fears, day after day. The best version of yourself is waiting to be unleashed.
Don’t wait until it’s too late.
It’s in Your Hands
You’ve been given all the tools. The rest is up to you. Here’s a quick recap for you to help these tips stick:
- Acknowledge Where Fear Comes From
- Understand Why You Feel Fear
- Known That Discomfort Is Your Friend
- Take Action and Create Opportunities
- Learn To Embrace The Feeling of Fear
- Think Of Yourself as a Badass
- Change Your Perspective On What You Fear
- Build a Social Circle That Pushes You
- Adopt a ‘Just Do It’ Attitude
Your fears are ready to be faced. Your inner being is ready to face the challenge.
You will grow, and you will transform if you take action. So take some action, any action, because the rest of your life is going to be made up by the actions taken today.
Till you’ve overcome your fears,
PS – If you enjoyed this write-up on overcoming fear, then you’ll likely also enjoy these popular Ted Talks on how to crush your fears.
35+ FEARLESS QUOTES TO HELP YOU BE FEARLESS AND LIVE BOLDLY
Being fearless is not about never being afraid. It’s about feeling the fear, and diving in anyway. Fearlessness is oftentimes about being scared to death, but still saddling up to take on whatever beast or challenge that lies ahead of you. And because sometimes, filling our minds with a few strong quotes related to being fearless can embolden us to do what we must, we’re publishing these handful of fearless quotes for you.
So, if you’re seeking some inspiring words to help you be more fearless, then this page is for you. We’ve rounded up the most powerful fearless quotes to give you the courage to stand tall, take more risks, and never back down.
With that being said, if you’re ready for some encouraging words to help you become fearless, let’s dive in:
BEST FEARLESS QUOTES
1. “To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard
2. “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” – Moliere
3. “I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of not trying.” – Jay Z
4. “The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it.” – Debbi Fields
5. “When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph.” – Pierre Cornielle
“When there is no peril in the fight there is no glory in the triumph.” – Pierre CornielleTweet Quote
6. “If you never want to be criticized, for goodness’ sake don’t do anything new.” – Jeff Bezos
7. “Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there’s something inside you that’s greater than any obstacle.” – C.D. Larson
8. “One finds limits by pushing them.” – Herbert Simon
9. “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” – Benjamin Disraeli
10. “The arch enemy of mankind, is FEAR.” – Napoleon Hill
11. “There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.” – JFK
12. “Without dreams, there can be no courage. And without courage, there can be no action.” – Wim Wenders
13. “Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.” – Wayne Dyer
14. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
15. “Fear, much like resistance, is nothing but the human motive of aversion.” – The STRIVE
16. “Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough.” – Cher
17. “The beautiful thing about fear is that when you run to it.. it runs away.” – Robin Sharma
18. “Fear kills more dreams that failure ever will.” – Anonymous
19. “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmache
Related: Fearless Motivation Quotes
20. “Your largest fear, carries you greatest growth.” – James Allen
21. “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” – Elon Musk
22. “Don’t let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen.” – Anonymous
23. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” – William G.T. Shedd
24. “Cultivate a fearless approach to life, attack everything with boldness and energy.” – Robert Greene
25. “To escape fear, you have to go through it, not around it.” – Richie Norton
26. “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
27. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain
28. “Freedom lies in being bold.” – Robert Frost
29. “Before you can become a millionaire, you must learn to think like one. You must learn how to motivate yourself to counter fear with courage.” – Thomas J. Stanley
30. “Fate loves the fearless.” – James Russell Lowell
31. “The more you are motivated by love; The more fearless and free your action will be.” – Dalai Lama
32. “Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless.” – Anonymous
33. “Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” – Roy T. Bennet
34. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” – Woody Allen
35. “Limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.” – Michael Jordan
36. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
37. “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paulo Coelho
38. “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” – Amelia Earhart
39. “Fearlessness is the first requisite of spirituality. Cowards can never be moral.” – Mahatma Gandhi
40. “There is no illusion greater that fear.” – Lao Tzu
41. “Regret is the heritage of people who choose to live a fear-driven life.” – Taneka Rubin
42. “The eagle has no fear of adversity. We need to be like the eagle and have a fearless spirit of a conqueror!” – Joyce Meyer
43. “Being fearless isn’t being 100% not fearful, it’s being terrified but you jump anyway.” – Taylor Swift
44. “FEAR has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” – Zig Ziglar
45. “We grow fearless by walking into our fears.” – Robin Sharma
46. “To many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
47. “Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.” – Tony Robbins
48. “Fears, even the most basic ones, can totally destroy your ambitions. Fear, if left unchecked, can destroy our lives. Fear is one of the many enemies lurking inside of us.” – Jim Rohn
49. “The key to success is to start before you’re ready.” – Marie Forleo
50. “Life begins where fear ends.” – Osho
51. “Courage above all things, is the first quality of a warrior.” – Karl von Clausewitz
52. “Fears are a kind of prison that confines you within a limited range of action. The less you fear, the more power you will have and the more fully you will live.” – 50 cent
53. “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
54. “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield
55. “Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them.” – Rabindranath Tagor
Bonus Fearless Quote
Bonus: Alright, here is one last bonus quote that we think deserves special attention. We hope it inspires you as much as it inspires us. Here you go:
“Fear doesn’t go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.” – Steven PressfieldTweet Quote
There you have it friends, some of the best fearless quotes to help you conquer the timidity that would keep you from living your greatest life.
May these handful of fearless quotes serve you well, as you strive to reach your goals and unleash your potential
Till you reach your aims, Go Fearless, and…
HOW TO START BELIEVING IN YOURSELF AGAIN: 7 BEST WAYS TO START TODAY
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How do I start believing in myself?” then this article is for you. We know everyone falls into a rut sometimes where we don’t have as much belief in ourselves as we used to. We know everyone, from time to time experiences those days where our self-confidence somehow gets thrown out the door, leaving us feeling uncertain and unsure of ourselves. The good news is, we have a few great tips to help you find out how to start believing in yourself again.
There is no doubt that lacking self belief can leave you struggling to find your way through life with little hope for significant change. In short, not believing in yourself can make the future look bleak. Fortunately, you can find your way back to a more confident and assured you, if you try. And you can do it today!
So, what happens when you start believing in yourself? Well, you’ll start having more hope for starters. And with more hope, you’ll be more inclined to take action. And with every action you take to build yourself up, and create a better future for yourself, your confidence and belief in yourself will grow.
So, let’s get you started on this journey of reclaiming your self, and with it, your future. Just follow these seven steps. They’ll show you how you can start believing in yourself again, and help you feel like you’re on top of the world again.
7 Best Ways to Start Believing in Yourself
1. Practice Loving Yourself
Believe it or not, self-love leads to self belief. It’s extremely difficult to gain faith in yourself if you don’t love the person that you are on the inside. You have to find confidence in yourself. This means loving the person you see in the mirror every single day for all of their good and bad qualities.
So, ignore any of those small pesky voices that try to put you down or say that you are less than you are. Keep your chin up, and never forget that you have a purpose and that your life matters.
But ultimately the, main thing to take away from this step, is to realize that you are unique, invaluable, and loved by others. And if others can love you, you can love you. That said, once you find a way to truly love yourself, you can then take the first step towards believing in yourself.
2. Realize All Personal Failure Is Not Your Fault
The affairs of the world has made many people feel as if they were lost in a tornado. People’s lives have been turned upside down both professionally and personally. Some people have lost their jobs, while others their house, family, etc…
Hardship and failure abounds, but in all reality, often times failure is not your fault. Some of the most prepared and successful people fail.
So, figure out the difference between the times failure might have been your fault and the times when everything was out of your control. Do this, and you’ll slowly begin to see your worth. You’ll realize that you can move forward once you understand failure happens.
You may even come to the realization that failure can be a stepping stone to something greater. And that it can in fact be exactly what you need to get you to your next level in life.
3. Treat Yourself The Way You Treat Others
It is easier to start believing in yourself when you begin treating yourself the way you treat others. Think about it, you wouldn’t usually tell others they are worthless and a failure, right? No, of course you wouldn’t because you believe in those people you respect and love around you. You are patient with them. And you’re willing to lend a hand and help them up when life is tough.
So, do the same for yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to talk and be open just as you do those around you. The way you treat yourself is a direct link to your feelings. If you give yourself positive affirmations, you’ll feel happy and lifted up.
However, on the flipside, if you continually tell yourself that you’re worthless, you’ll feel sad and slightly depressed. So be sure you take care of yourself the way you would take care of your best friend.
4. Feed Your Spirit
It’s important to feed your spirit and mind with positive things. Be careful what you watch on television and what you read each day. Feed your mind with interesting and positive topics.
Ask respected colleagues about the great things they’ve done in their life. Ask them how self belief lead them to become the person they are today.
Seek out inspiration in quotes and documentaries. Read about topics that will help you figure out your next steps in life. Read about facing your fears and being confident.
All of these things may seem small, but they will make a difference to your mind and spirit. And if you do them long enough and often enough, you’ll essentially be able to rewire your brain to be confident, which will in turn help you believe in yourself more.
5. Take A Step Forward
When life knocks you down, get up and don’t look back. It’s crucial that you practice self love by moving forward. You may feel like giving up or just staying down in the dirt.
But you don’t want to stay down too long, because you will eventually begin to doubt yourself if you stay down long enough. So pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move forward.
Don’t think about looking back because you may get stuck staring at the past. You’ll start to wonder about things you could have done differently.
If you want to start believing in yourself again, you’ll have to live in the present and look towards the future. So, consider brainstorming the best possible outcomes in your life, and then start taking steps in the direction towards your desired outcome. And it doesn’t matter how small the step is either, just take one step one at a time.
If you to this, one day you’ll notice how far you’ve come, and those days will be a distant memory.
6. Know You Choose Your Reactions
Start believing in yourself by knowing you are in charge of your reality. You do this by deciding how you react to good or bad news. Now, we understand that you might not be able to change the things happening to you, but you can change the way you react to them.
Yes, you might be angry and confused when you lose your job or a loved one passes away. But there is nothing you can do to change those types of outcomes. The only thing you can do is control the way you handle the situation.
You determine the positive outcomes of negative things because of the way you react. Those lacking self belief get stuck in the negative outcomes. They don’t try to find a way out because they’re scared to face their own reality. It might be tough, but you can face anything with a positive mind.
7. Accept That You Are Not Perfect
It’s hard for many people to understand that they aren’t perfect. Social media makes it seem like so many people are leading these amazing lives. We think we must be positive and happy or we are worthless. This isn’t true.
Sometimes there are positive people that have tough lives. This is because they accept the pain. They know life is going to be tough at times. They know they endless optimism won’t make life easier, but it will help them handle the harder things and move forward. It’s okay to accept the pain and anguish in life.
The trick is to be honest about it. The trick is to forgive yourself for the pain in your life. Understand that sometimes you are going to be negative, and that’s okay. As long as it does not take over your self worth, you can feel the pain at times. Embrace the imperfect times then let them go.
Related: Believe In Yourself Quotes
Bonus Tip To Help You Start Believing In Yourself
This last tip is related to correcting the issue by taking back control of your mind with force. A lot of the times, we don’t believe in ourselves because of alot of negative self-talk that we have going on in our minds. But, that negative chatter can be silenced with affirmations, especially if they are affirmations for help you improve your confidence.
So, if you’ve tried all the steps above, and you still find yourself wondering “How do I start believing in myself?” then you absolutely should give affirmations a try. Use these confidence affirmations, they’re a good place to start.
Self belief is something that isn’t created overnight. You might work years on yourself to boost your confidence and self worth. Just know that you are unique and the effort put forth will be worth the fight.
Give yourself the love you deserve by taking it a day at a time. It’s time to be your own best friend. And you can start by taking the first step and give yourself a few compliments today. Without a doubt, if you do this one little thing, you’ll start feeling better and you’ll usher in a more self-trusting and positive chapter in your life.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed this post on how to start believing in yourself, then you’ll love this article on dealing with self-doubt.
20 BEST BOOKS ON CONFIDENCE TO LEVEL UP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
Self-confidence is a key component of success. In fact, the lack of self-confidence is something many people point to when they feel like they aren’t succeeding in their relationships, career, or at life in general. It’s for this reason that I felt compelled to create this particular post on self confidence books.
Because let’s admit it. At one time or another we’ve all blamed ourselves and our lack of confidence for why something didn’t go as planned in our life.
It could have been that date that didn’t go so well, the botched job interview, or even that business deal that fell through. Whatever the case may be, most of the time a lack of confidence is the culprit.
We say to ourselves, “I just don’t have enough confidence.”
But that’s not true. It’s not true, because confidence is not something you have, rather, it is something you create.
CONFIDENCE IS A CHOICE
Confidence is a state of mind, a feeling, and a way of being that can be created at will. So, in a way, it’s a choice.
When you come to understand this, you’ll be able to turn on your confidence at a moment’s notice. And when you know how to do this, you’ll start finding more of the success you seek.
Now I can tell you this truth over and over again until I am blue in the face, but, it will never be real to you until you’ve deeply ingrained this fact into your own mind.
And the best way to ingrain this fact into your own mind, is to become a student of confidence.
No, you don’t have to sign up for college courses to become a student of confidence.
To become a student of confidence all you have to do is… read. You must read and study books on the subject of confidence.
Simple right? So where should you start?
Start with this list. I’ve pulled together a list of the best books on building self-confidence that I’ve ever come across. No doubt, there are hundreds of books on confidence, but let’s be honest, who (aside from Ph.D. students) has the time to read hundreds of books on a single topic?
Exactly, hardly anyone!
So, if you want to master confidence and improve your self-esteem, just read a handful of the following books recommended on confidence and you should be good to go. You don’t have to read hundreds of books on confidence to learn the fundamentals. Trust me, this handful of books will do the trick.
Every book provides something different, yet, every single one also confirms what I just said…
Which is, that how confident you become is completely up to you, because confidence is all in your head.
So, behold the 20 Books you must read if you ever wish to master self-confidence:
20 Best Books on Building Self-Confidence
[Full Disclosure: Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.]
1. Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway
‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’ is a classic book by the late Dr. Susan Jeffers. In this book, Susan Jeffers offers up solid advice for overcoming the paralysis and inaction that stems from being fearful and lacking confidence. Susan Jeffers pulls her knowledge from many years of research, and lecturing on the topic of transforming fear, indecision, and even anger into power, action, and extreme confidence.
The book contains a handful of practical insights and exercises that you can immediately implement to help you come to the realization that confidence is something to be nurtured and cultivated, much like a muscle.
This book is both an eye-opener and a solid book to begin with on your journey towards building your confidence.
2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fear, doubt, and worry can be debilitating. Possessing just one of these problems can indeed stop the best of us from reaching the heights of success we seek. How so? Because fear and doubt kills self-confidence. And if success demands anything, it demands self-confidence.
This book is comprised of many recipes Mr. Carnegie pulled together from night classes he would teach to adult students on how to overcome worry.
‘How to Start Worrying and Start Living’ is a cure for anyone who wishes to eliminate the debilitating effects of fear and worry from their lives, so they fortify their confidence and get on with succeeding in their life.
3. Unstoppable Confidence
This book touches on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to help you get out of your comfort zone and master your self-confidence. If you are unfamiliar with NLP, it is basically a scientific approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy that delivers practical ways in which you can change the way you think, view past events, and approach your life.
Much of this book uses ideas and concepts that Tony Robbins suggests for improving self-confidence, and they’ll work for you too. ‘Unstoppable Confidence’ can teach you how to harness confidence levels that will make you, well…unstoppable.
4. Think and Grow Rich
‘Think and Grow Rich’ is so much more than a confidence book, it is a success book. However, the author, Napoleon Hill, understood that success requires a strong foundation built on self-confidence.
As such, the book provides a handful of potent insights and formulas that can help you gain the confidence you’ll need to start growing more successful, and yes even richer in your life.
This book is a must read for every person. If you practice his self-confidence formula alone, you can dramatically improve your confidence in no time at all.
5. How to Talk to Anyone
Many people are confident in just about everything they do. But for some people, when it comes to talking to people, they clam up, get anxious, and come across as less than self-assured.
If you’ve ever felt a lack of confidence when communicating with colleagues, strangers, or the opposite sex, this book can help you with crushing those feelings of uncertainty. Not only does this book educate on the nuances of confidence, but it gives you practical and effective tactics that you can employ immediately that will make you appear poised and self-assured, even if you’re not 100% there mentally. In other words, this book will help you fake it till you make it.
Having confidence when speaking with people is one of the most important skills you could acquire for successfully navigating your way to the top of your career. So, if you know your confidence lacks in the ‘people department’ then you must read this book.
6. The Magic of Thinking Big
David Schwartz Ph.D. has created a masterful book with ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, which is why over 6 million copies of the book have been sold.
In this book, Dr. Schwartz touches on many key areas that we all need to improve on to start succeeding in life. Much of the book revolves around improving how you think about situations, people, and your future. It deals with how to improve you attitude and perspectives, which in turn will help you to start taking the action necessary to reach your BIG goals.
Chapters 3 ‘Build Confidence and Destroy Fear’, Chapter 10 ‘Get the Action Habit’, Chapter 11 ‘How to Turn Defeat into Victory’, and Chapter 13 ‘How to Think Like a Leader’ are the most effective chapters for building your self-confidence.
All in all, this is one of my favorite self confidence books, and its probably the one confidence building book you can’t afford to miss.
7. How to Develop Self-Confidence and Influence People by Public Speaking
Dale Carnegie has created the perfect toolset for helping people dial into their confidence at will. This book contains multiple confidence boosting tips that will help you acquire poise, increase your memory, improve the delivery of your message, and appear more charming to everyone you interact with.
This book was created to teach people how to overcome their fears of public speaking; however, the strategies he provides to help you increase your confidence to speak in front of large audiences can also be applied towards overcoming other confidence issues in other areas of your life.
How you ask? Because when you master public speaking, you simultaneously wipe out your timidity and gain the courage and assurance to deal with people. In short, confidence gained in one department will help you gain the confidence you may need in others.
8. You Are a Badass
‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero, is not specifically geared towards improving confidence; however, it covers a wide range of self-improvement topics that when combined, can help you strengthen your over all sense of self, and with that, your confidence.
Within the book there is a chapter specifically for confidence, titled, ‘Fear Is For Suckers’. This chapter provides some great perspectives on fear and confidence that can help you significantly boost your confidence.
Amy Cuddy is the famous TED talk professor who first acquainted us with power poses and using our physiology to increase our confidence levels.
Well, she helps deliver a similar message in this book, and she does it with detail and backs it all up with solid research.
When you read this book, be prepared to learn about the power of your personal story, how to overcome impostor syndrome, and how to utilize you posture to level up your confidence.
As a student of confidence, this is one book you won’t want to miss.
10. The Confidence Gap
This book is a great confidence book to compliment the others already mentioned. This book does what it says, it fills the confidence gap.
How does it do this? Well, it does this by giving the readers a different perspective on dealing with their confidence or lack thereof. Russ Harris offers a novel solution to confidence by encouraging you to form a different relationship with your confidence, instead of trying to force yourself to overcome your confidence limitations.
In this book you will learn about the power of mindfulness and some techniques for keeping your negative thoughts and feelings at bay so your confidence levels can soar.
This book is certainly worth the read and it will truly help fill some of the confidence gaps we all face.
11. The Power of Self-Confidence
Brian Tracy is a seasoned sales/business guru who knows a thing or two about success. Truth is, it is hard to lose with Brian Tracy in your corner. He’s pushed out countless resources ranging from self-discipline, to time-management, to self-confidence.
And in just about all of his resources, you’ll hear him mention the importance of your inner-game, of your mindset and how you feel about yourself.
Without a doubt, this book will help you understand why it is so essential to have faith in your abilities and believe in yourself.
Read this book and build the unshakable confidence you know deep down in your heart you are capable of wielding.
12. The Art of Extraordinary Confidence
Comfort is the kiss of death to success. And in this book, you will learn why.
As such, you’ll find plenty of admonishments in this book to step outside of your comfort zone, and in so doing, dramatically strengthen your confidence levels.
If you are okay with real-talk, truth, and zero punches being pulled, you will enjoy this book. Beware though, this is not a PG book. It will speak to you as an adult, so be prepared for a good push.
13. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
This book will wake you up to what true confidence is all about. Author, Nathaniel Branden provides firm answers to questions we all have related to our confidence and self-esteem.
If you’re looking for answers, you’ll find them here. You’ll learn what self-esteem really is, you’ll learn why it is so important to cultivate it, how you can increase your own self-esteem levels, and what role our external environment (other people) plays in our confidence levels.
Without a doubt, you’ll be sure to find many ‘Aha!’ moments in this book, and a solid foundation to building up your self-esteem, and with it, your confidence.
Related: Become an Extrovert, Even If Shy
14. Unleash The Warrior Within
‘Unleash The Warrior Within’ is authored by former Navy SEAL Richard Machowicz. And as you’d suspect, he provides tons of confidence boosting strategies that he acquired from his time in the military.
Richard has you break down your fears into smaller, bite sized components, making them much easier to attack. He also spends time educating his readers on the importance of mindset.
As a fan of the warrior ethos, I enjoy how the author combats those areas of our lives that can hold us back and keep us from doing what we need to do most to achieve our goals. If you want more confidence, read this book, you can’t go wrong.
Don’t let the name of this book scare you. It may sound daunting and super scientific, but rest assured that the material contained within it will be easy to digest and better yet, easy to implement towards building up your self-confidence.
The author of the book, Maxwell Maltz holds a Ph.D. and lays out his years of his experience and observation on how powerful self-image is when it comes to helping us achieve the results we are after.
You’ll learn about the power of perception, self-esteem, and how large a role our self-image can play in our ability to achieve. In addition to this, you’ll learn some powerful strategies you can employ to immediately and positively impact your confidence levels. So, If you’re looking for a time tested book on confidence that is based in science, this is a book everyone should read.
16. The Power of Positive Thinking
I know what your thinking, what does positive thinking have to do with Confidence. But here me out. This book, with out a doubt belongs in this selection of the best books on confidence because of the wisdom provided chapter after chapter by the late great Norman Vincent Peale specifically for helping its readers lead a more positive and confident life.
Now, just as a heads up, the wisdom provided in this great book does have religious undertones too them; however, this is exactly where much of the power of this book comes in to play. So, if you are not religious, or don’t care for biblical references you can skip this book and read all the others, BUT, I assure you, you’ll be cutting yourself short if you do so. If you’ve read all the confidence books in the world, and yet you still feel like you are coming up short in the confidence department, well then you’ll definitely want to invest in this book. It WILL help your conquer your confidence and self-esteem challenges and instill in you the faith to conquer your internal/external fears.
17. Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It
This is a great book to add to your library of books that can help you boost your confidence levels. The premise of the books revolves around what negative self-talk is, why you should work to minimize the amount of it you do, and how to go about doing so.
It really is a great tool/book to consider for helping you build your confidence because of the important role our self-talk plays in how we feel about ourselves. Essentially, lots of negative self-talk leads to feeling less confident and less negative self-talk essentially leads to feeling more confident.
As such, this is a worthy book to own to help you get a handle on your negative inner voice, and as a result, positively improve your confidence levels.
18. The 5 Second Rule
Mel Robbins brings a whole new definition to confidence in this book. She’ll help dispel the myth the confidence is merely a lack of belief in yourself, but rather, it’s the willingness or unwillingness to try.
Without a doubt, you’ll walk away from this book realizing that confidence is related to action. And you’ll begin to realize that confidence doesn’t start with belief, but rather, confidence starts with action. And since Mel’s book is primarily about action, we could not deny adding her book to our invaluable list of books on confidence.
So, use this book to push yourself to be better than your excuses and bigger than your fears.
19. Daring Greatly
Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly is the wake up call we all need. She doesn’t pull any punches and definitely tells it like it is in this book. Which is why it made the cut for our no B.S. list of self-confidence books. The biggest take away you’ll get from this book is that it is okay to be vulnerable. Her book provides a great combination of solid research and casual storytelling that will help you ease into being more being more vulnerable. And the more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the more confident you’ll become as you come to realize you can handle whatever it is life is happening to throw your way.
So, if you’re looking for a book to dare you to step outside of your comfort zone, to be bigger than your anxieties, and to get you living and leading more confidently, then this book is a must read.
20. Never Finished
This last book is not your typical confidence book. It doesn’t give you tips or strategies to specifically zero-in on your confidence. In fact, Goggins states it himself in the book, it’s not a self-help book. But, what this book does do, is it helps you reframe your thinking.
‘Never Finished’ provides insight after insight to help you see yourself in a different light. It also includes stories that demonstrate that you are more than you are, and that you can do more than you’ve done. All in all, the lessons within this book will improve your mental strength and ultimately help you become aware of your true potential.
So give this book a read if you’re serious about building up your confidence, because there’s nothing more confident than a mentally strong person who believes in their abilities and their limitless potential.
Bonus Confidence Resource
‘Go Fearless’ is a synthesis of the best confidence building strategies from many of the self confidence books just mentioned. After going from outgoing and confident to feeling shy and withdrawn for many years, I set out to re-discover the confidence and fearlessness I had in my youth. After learning how to bounce back into the outgoing and confident person I knew I was capable of being, I decided to share what I learned.
This resource does not waste your time with drawn out stories or background, it gives you exactly what you need to know, NOW, so you can get started on building your confidence ASAP.
If there were ever a shortcut to learning how to master self-confidence, this would be it. It’s a confidence building tool, and a true call to action. And the best thing about it, is it’s free.
So, if you’re looking for a no B.S. guide to help you start living your life with confidence, go read this free resource and ‘Become Fearless’! Your future self will thank you for it.
Check out this solid list of books I found. If you’re looking for a few books to help you boost your confidence, these will help! Tweet This
Final Words on These Self Confidence Books
There you have it, the 20 best books you can read to get started on mastering the one thing that can make all the difference in how much success you’ll find in your life; confidence.
After you’ve read these books for self-confidence, you’ll realize that having a sense of confidence is nothing but a sense of power within yourself, a sense of certainty that you can pull off just about anything.
Read these books and you’ll finally come to understand what confidence really is, and you’ll learn that you have the power to create it at any moment in time.
To Your Success!
PS – If you’ve enjoyed this collection of confidence books, then you’ll most likely also enjoy this piece on ‘The 7 Ways to Gain Instant Confidence’.
100+ CONFIDENCE QUOTES TO BOOST YOUR SELF-WORTH
Self-confidence; that highly desirable quality which all too often escapes our grasp. When we see someone who has it, it’s hard to miss. When we possess it, all things seem limitless. No doubt, through confidence we thrive. Having confidence improves everything from our relationships to how high in life we feel we can climb.
But, when we lack it, we struggle. Indeed, the absence of confidence can make us feel like we live in a bubble. The problem with confidence is people think it’s something we are born with, it’s not. No, confidence is something people can build, it’s something that you can be taught.
Truth is, there is no secret to self-confidence, and anyone can wield it. Introverted and reserved people can be confident, even those who are naturally quiet. The reason this is, is because confidence is a state of mind. It’s something that can be turned on at any moment in time.
So, use these powerful quotes to boost your self-confidence. Then, get out there and mix it up in the world, and trust in your new found providence.
BEST CONFIDENCE QUOTES TO BOOST YOUR SELF WORTH
1. “When you have confidence, you have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” – Joe Namath
2. “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself. – Tony Robbins
3. “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” – Maxwell Maltz
4. “Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.” – Venus Williams
5. “All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence.” – David J. Schwartz
6. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes
“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. ForbesTweet Quote
7. “Whatever you say, say it with conviction.” – Mark Twain
8. “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment. – Thomas Carlyle
9. “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Petere T. Mcintyre
10. “Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.” – Vince Lombardi
11. “Insist on yourself, never imitate.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
12. “Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have.” – Brian Tracy
13. “We are what we believe we are.” – C.S. Lewis
14. “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” – Unknown
15. “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” – Jack Nicklaus
16. “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent Peale
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.” – Norman Vincent PealeTweet Quote
17. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
18. “You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it.” – Dr. Robert Anthony
19. “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
20. “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan
21. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
22. “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe
23. “Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” – Richard Kline
24. “The man who achieves makes many mistakes, but he never makes the biggest mistake of all – doing nothing.” – Benjamin Franklin
25. “It’s a dead-end street if you sit around waiting for someone else to tell you you’re okay.” – Michael Pitt
26. “My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything, even if you have no clue what you are doing.” – Jessica Alba
“My theory is, if you look confident you can pull off anything, even if you have no clue what you are doing.” – Jessica AlbaTweet Quote
27. “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson
28 “Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.” – Richard Bach
29. “The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.” – Anon
30. “Insecurity kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Unknown
31. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James
32. “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” – Johnny Depp
33. “People who want the most approval get the least and the people who need approval the least get the most.” – Wayne Dyer
“People who want the most approval get the least and the people who need approval the least get the most.” – Wayne DyerTweet Quote
34. “Confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage.” – Mel Robbins
35. “You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” – Zig Ziglar
36. “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford
37. “To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” – Denis Waitley
38. “Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” – Andre Dubus
39. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson
40. “Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – Rumi
“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – RumiTweet Quote
41. “Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are.” – Chinese proverb
42. “The process of building self confidence is actually very easy. Self-confidence is self trust. Self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself… that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you.” – Ed Mylett
43. “The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.” – Francois De La Rochefoucauld
“The confidence which we have in ourselves gives birth to much of that which we have in others.” – Francois De La RochefoucauldTweet Quote
44. “Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
45. “Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel
46. “Confidence is not holding back the deck of cards of your weaknesses. Confidence is a comfort with vulnerability.” – Brendon Burchard
“Confidence is not holding back the deck of cards of your weaknesses. Confidence is a comfort with vulnerability.” – Brendon BurchardTweet Quote
47. “Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.” -George Herbert
48. “Confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a result of something … hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” – Roger Staubach
49. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
50. “With confidence, you have won before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey
51. “Self-confidence is the ability to exercise restraint in the face of disrespect and still show respect in response.” – Simon Sinek
52. “Money can’t buy confidence. You become confident when you are disciplined and ethical.” – Grant Cardone
53. “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” – Johann Wolfgang von GoetheTweet Quote
54. “Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess.” – Sabrina Carpenter
55. “No one will believe in you until you believe in you.” – Robin Sharma
56. “If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” – Dale Carnegie
“If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” – Dale CarnegieTweet Quote
57. “Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” – Stan Smith
58. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain
59. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I loved through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'” – Eleanor Roosevelt
60. “Confidence is not ‘They will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be find if they don’t’.” – Christina Grimme
“Confidence is not ‘They will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be find if they don’t’.” – Christina GrimmeTweet Quote
61. “If someone is judging you, that’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.” – Mel Robbins
62. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” – Coco Chanel
63. “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” – Blake Lively
64. “Accept yourself, then others will.” – Self-Confidence Quote
65. “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey
66. “It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah Winfrey
“It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah WinfreyTweet Quote
67. “A great man is always willing to be little.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
68. “Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu
69. “Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.” – Stewart Stafford
70. “Confidence is the willingness to try.” – Mel Robbins
71. “Confidence is not something you are born with, it is developed over time and through experiences.” – Atlas Rowe
72. “Self-esteem comes from achievements. Not from lack standards and false praise.” – Condoleezza Rice
73. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Baruch
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. BaruchTweet Quote
74. “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” – Zen Shin
75. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
76. “Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” – Confidence quote
“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” – Confidence quoteTweet Quote
77. “If you believe in yourself and feel confident in yourself, you can do anything. I really believe that.” – Karlie Kloss
78. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” – Anonymous
79. “You don’t have to change who you are, you have to become more of who you are.” – Sally Hogshead
80. “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
81. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale
82. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
83. “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” – Nora Roberts
84. “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Edison
85. “Confidence is believing in yourself. Arrogance is telling others you’re better than they are. Confidence inspires. Arrogance destroys.” – Simon Sinek
86. “The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.” – James Madison
“The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.” – James MadisonTweet Quote
87. “Believe in your flyness, conquer your shyness.” – Kanye West
88. “Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself.” – Wayne W. Dyer
89. “If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” – Henry David Thoreau
90. “People feed off of your passion and your confidence.” – Sara Blakely
91. “Accustom yourself to criticism. Confidence is important, but if it is not based on a realistic appraisal of who you are, it is mere grandiosity and smugness.” – Robert Greene
92. “Confidence is directness and courage in meeting the facts of life.” – John Dewey
93. “Show me a self-confident person who also has humility and I will show you somebody with an amazing future.” – Ed Mylett
“Show me a self-confident person who also has humility and I will show you somebody with an amazing future.” – Ed MylettTweet Quote
94. “Everything you need is within you, the strength, the courage and confidence to change your life. You just need to look within yourself and find it.” – Amanda Ray
95. “Confidence is built by doing the right things, not buying things.” – Grant Cardone
96. “Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard Branson
“Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard BransonTweet Quote
97. “Don’t worry what others think of you, be confident and straightforward with decency and others will respect you.” – Lori Greiner
98. “You defeat defeatism with confidence.” – Vince Lombardi
99. “There’s confidence and a mental toughness that comes from the very highest level competition, whatever the sport it. Whether it’s boxing or wrestling, or whatever.” – Joe Rogan
100. “Confidence is the hand-maiden of success.” – Zig Ziglar
Bonus Self-Confidence Quote
Bonus: Alright, here’s our last and final quote on confidence. It’s one of our favorites and demonstrates why self-confidence starts with you are decision to be or not be confident.
“If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom Brady
“If you don’t believe in yourself why is anyone else going to believe in you?” – Tom BradyTweet Quote
Become Who You Can Be With These Confidence Quotes
There you have it, the top 100+ self-confidence quotes that have the power to boost your state of mind, and with it, your confidence.
Use these inspiring quotes to grow, and to move you forward…to leave that old less confident you, behind.
Till next time,
PS – If you enjoyed these confidence quotes then you’ll REALLY LOVE this post…. ‘How to Become an Extrovert Even if You’re Shy’.
HOW TO BECOME AN EXTROVERT AND OVERCOME SHYNESS FOREVER
Have you ever found yourself dreaming about someday speaking in front of large audiences, being the life of a party at a networking event, or working closely with teams of people to complete a big project; only to later think to yourself that perhaps this fanciful idea is unlikely because, well…you’re shy?
Want to Learn How to Become an Extrovert?
If this has happened to you there’s a good reason for it. Chances are you’ve experience this because you have introverted tendencies, but extroverted ambitions.
Look, all I mean, is that you probably like to keep to yourself, you don’t really enjoy being in large group settings, you don’t fancy small talk, but, you do aspire to achieve big goals and grand achievements. You know, the kind that seems to favor those with an outgoing and gregarious personality.
If this sounds like you, don’t fret, you are not alone. In fact, there are heaps of people who are in the same boat. Thousands and thousands of people want to know how to overcome shyness too. The great news is, your vision of success and ambitions don’t have to be put on hold just because you are an introvert.
I used to be an introvert. I still am actually. I’ve just found a way to camouflage my introverted inclinations. Put another way, I’ve learned some interpersonal and social communication strategies that allow me to “cloak” my introversion. I’ve learned how to become an extrovert.
And the great news is, anybody can do it. Including you!
“There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.” – Carl YungTweet Quote
The Outgoing Introvert
These days, most people would think me to be an extrovert. I’ve been called gregarious, outgoing, social, and even the life of the party before. If I were to believe what others have said about me, I would have to consider myself an extrovert.
But the truth is, I know myself, and I am far from it. I have had my moments in the past where I’ve let loose and just let my guard/hair down. You know, just going with flow and letting my voice be heard. Of course, in most of those past instances, imbibing several alcoholic beverages was typically involved.
It was in those moments that I learned through the eyes of others, my ability to be an extrovert, even though I wasn’t one at heart. I say this, because for the most part, I really am a low-key individual.
I am the type of person who has no problem keeping to himself all day long, and getting lost in my work. And typically, I still prefer to not attend large social events. Networking is not much fun for me, and I still find myself avoiding group events (from time to time), especially if I can get away with it.
Fortunately, in the instance that I must “get social”, or when I must speak in front of large groups of people, I can now do it with ease and in a way where others actually suspect me to be some type of social-butterfly.
And quite astonishingly, zero ‘drinks’ are needed.
“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” – Susan CainTweet Quote
Learning to Become an Extrovert
If you’re wondering “Well, how is he able to do this?” Let me first give you some background as to how I acquired such strategies. Then I’ll give you some ways to help you do the same.
Years ago, I got fed up with my job working as an analyst for an engineering firm, and decided to jump into selling real estate. If you know anything about analytics or engineering, you’re probably aware, that by and large, people in this profession are very reserved, analytical, and keen on staying out of the public eye. In short, social is not their strong suite.
Similarly, real estate agents, or sales professionals in general are quite the opposite of the engineer or analytics professional. They are outgoing, talkative, easy to be around, and bluntly put, social.
As a novice real estate agent who thrust himself into the deep waters of sales, with zero sales experience, and with the social inclinations of an engineer, one could say that drowning was imminent.
The Miracle of Action
Business was not booming, and my savings were taking a nose dive week by week for three months straight. So, I did what any person in such a situation would do, I started to flail. In my case, this flailing consisted of putting myself out there 10x more than I was already doing.
It consisted of reading a handful of books on communication, sales, psychology. It also consisted of practicing, a concept that I had long forgotten since my days playing college football. A concept that seemed quite foreign in a working world where the only time people seem to be concerned with their work, was from 9 to 5.
Miraculously, I found a way to transform myself into an extrovert when it mattered most. And I ultimately became the type of person my goals needed me to be.
And now I want to share what I learned with you. So, to help you overcome shyness and become an extrovert, I’ve put together this short list of strategies that were the most useful in helping me make my transformation.
7 SIMPLE TIPS TO HELP YOU BECOME AN EXTROVERT
1. Put Yourself Out There
Really, one of the best things you can do to get out of your head and into the world, is to just put yourself out there. When you constantly push yourself to do things in front of people, or force yourself to talk to others, even when you don’t want to, you’ll strengthen your ability to do more of it in the future.
Start small, by doing things that are on the edgy of your comfort zone. Then slowly move to activities that are just beyond it.
If you do this enough, it will eventually become a habit and you won’t have any problems showing up as an extrovert when the time arises. Until you get to that point of course, the following steps will be helpful.
2. To Become an Extrovert, First Practice Being One
This may sound odd, but practicing the gift of gab is essential if you want to show up as a gifted communicator. In short, when you practice chatting up someone, you are training yourself for a performance.
The benefits of this are two-fold. First off, if you are practice anything, you will eventually get better. So if you practice shooting the breeze with others, you will become more comfortable with it eventually. Similarly, if you practice alone in front of a mirror, it will be as if you are preparing to perform.
Much benefit can also be gleamed from mental practice as well. Meaning, if habitually envision yourself chatting up others flawlessly, or speaking in front of people without a hitch, you’ll actually be prepared to do it well when opportunity arises.
This is where the second benefit of practice comes in. Basically, if you can see your social interactions more as a performance, then it can make communicating to large groups or to others at social events much easier.
The reason for this is because if you consider your communication as performing, then you don’t have to attach yourself to the outcome of the conversation or speech. And by detaching yourself, you essentially get to protect your ego in the event you do get judged.
3. Make Confidence and Extroversion a Study
Reading up on ways to overcome shyness is essential to transforming yourself into an extrovert. In fact, some of the books I read to get help me make my quick transformation included books such as Courage – The Art of Living Dangerously, The Magic of Thinking Big, How to Win Friends and Influence People, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, End the Struggle and Dance with Life, How to Talk to Anyone, Real Magic, How to Talk on Your Feet, etc.
In using the Fearless Formula, you get distilled knowledge curated from over 20 + different experts on how to ‘come out of your shell’ and show up as an extrovert.
If you are shy, introverted, and need an action oriented tool to help you become an extrovert, then this is a great place to start your study of the subject. And, then you’d be doing yourself an enormous favor by adding some of these excellent resources on confidence to your library as well.
4. Become an Active Listener
Oddly, this method is probably the most effective when it comes to interpersonal communication. I learned this method from Dale Carnegie’s book, ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’. When people feel they’re being sincerely listened to, they’ll associate positive qualities to the listener.
So in essence, when we listen carefully to what others are saying, and genuinely show interest in them, people will find us to be sociable and interesting as well. Not only that, but by actively listening to others, you worrying less about what you ‘should’ say next.
When we take the focus off of us, and put it on others, people will be more eager to chat with us. Magically, you’ll become sought out for conversation and social interactions. And knowing that others actually want to talk to us (because everybody wants to talk about numero uno…themselves), it makes chatting up other people a whole lot easier.
5. Have Something to Talk About
Many people shy away from talking with others because they feel like they don’t have much in common them. But there is an simple remedy for this. A simple tactic to help you come out of your shell, is to always ensure you are up-to-date with current affairs. Knowing what is going on in the world can go along way in helping you relate to people about “the happenings of the day”.
By having material to converse about with others, and topics others would be interested in knowing about or would want to hear your opinion on, you’ll increase your preparedness to talk with others freely. And the more prepared you feel, the more comfortably you’ll be a striking up conversations with strangers.
So brush up on the news and what’s popular, and be ready to share your opinions like an extrovert.
6. To Become Extroverted You Must Get Your Mind Right
Many introverts have a problem with busy brains. We process events and things in a very cerebral way and so tend to overthink things.
Unfortunately, this tends to show up as internal conversations we have with ourselves about everything. And sometimes, those inner conversations create unnecessary alarm.
As an introvert, your inner voice can become loud, especially when you are about to do something that makes you nervous. This inner talk leads to even more nervousness, especially if that voice is filled with a nervous tone. It can be a compounding effect. And it is this compounding effect that paralyzes many introverts from “getting out there”.
As an introvert you’re nervous enough as it is, and having an inner voice yelling at you… “No, no, don’t do it! It’s not gonna work, you’re gonna make a fool of yourself,” etc.. doesn’t help your situation.
So, to fight this, you must get your mind right. And the best way to get your mind right is to silence your inner doubter with meditation. If you start practicing mediation daily, you’ll easily learn how to gag your inner nervous chatter. And when you gag that inner train-wreck, trying your hand at becoming an extrovert is a whole lot easier.
7. Visualize the Extrovert You Want to Be
If you really want to know how to become an extrovert, you must not skip this step. One of the most powerful tactics you can employ to unleash your inner extrovert, is to visualize the extrovert you want to be.
In your mind, be the extrovert you want to be. I know that sounds simple, but the mind is a powerful thing.
When you start to visualize that powerful outgoing you, the version you want to be, you give yourself subconscious mind permission to seek ways to bring that ‘you’ into reality. If you don’t know where to start, just follow Napoleon Hill’s Self-Confidence formula. It is a powerful tool and it can help you begin the visualizing you need to do, to step into your extroverted self.
Final Words on How to Become an Extrovert
There you have it, seven powerful tactics to help you become the extrovert that you know you can be. Here’s a quick recap to help you retain what you just learned:
- Put Yourself Out There
- Practice Being an Extrovert
- Study Confident & Extroverted People
- Become an Active Listener
- Always Have Something to Talk About
- Calm Your Mind
- Use Visualization
As you strive to become more extroverted remember this, it is not necessary for a person to be born an extrovert in order to achieve meaningful success in their lives. It’s true, many extroverts were born extroverts, but many have also been made.
Never forget that many celebrities, leaders, and uber-successful entrepreneurs are introverts; like Stephen Spielberg (Multi-Award Winning Director), James Hetfield (Lead Singer of Metallica), Tom Hanks (Actor), J.K Rowling (Author of Harry Potter Series), Barak Obama (ex-President of the United States), and Elon Musk (Inventor and CEO of Tesla), and if they can succeed, so can you.
The people who have the ability to transform themselves into an extrovert on demand, will be better able to capitalize on opportunities when they arise. And you now have seven little secrets that most introverted people will never be aware of. Lucky you!
Till next time,
PS – If you’re ready to unleash your inner extrovert and start living like a lion, and not a lamb, be sure to read this today!
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